Trestman & Cutler Now the Story

Trestman & Cutler Now the Story

I'm relying on your guys - the loyal readers - to help lead the Bears Fan Story Project. I need as many tales as possible from as many of you and your family as possible. This is going to be a huge endeavor when all is said and done. To read all about it, CLICK HERE.


Free agency hath come and gone, bringing several new pieces and seeing modern Bears legend Brian Urlacher exit stage left. The draft arrived like a meteoroid crashing into New York City, if the entirety of the media spent three months debating every single inch of the meteoroid's frame. ("This meteoroid is a downhill thumper".) Over the final weekend of April the Bears added six new players to the spring roster and, in what might be considered a rare occurrence, one gets the sense Bears fans expect each of the players selected to do more than just make the 2013 roster. They expect the six players to make an immediate impact.

Maybe they will. Maybe they won't. I'm not sure it matters much whether Cornelius Washington gets on the field or Marquess Wilson gets on the roster. The 2013 Chicago Bears season and beyond will defined by the hiring of Marc Trestman as head coach and his developing relationship with Jay Cutler.

This is the mark of the current NFL. Coaches. Quarterbacks. And while that may seem obvious to most intelligent football fans, it has not been obvious to the folks at Halas Hall in recent years. The Chicago Bears franchise has been defined by a successful lineage historically at two positions: running back and middle linebacker. And no positions have become devalued more in the modern game than running back and middle linebacker. In 2009 then General Manager Jerry Angelo went out and made a bold move for the quarterback. In 2013 now General Manager Phil Emery is attempting to pair him with the coach.

Reports out of the early organized activities were promising. No more deep drops into a frightening pocket. Less time for the quarterback to dodge defenders while hoping a receiver breaks free. Quick drops. Quick looks. Quick throws. While most people were enamored with the minutiae of the OTAs, I was a bit overwhelmed by the larger theme seeming to emerge. The Bears. The Chicago Bears. The Chicago football Bears now have a discernible offensive system. And it's been an awful long time (the T Formation?) since that was true.

(Seriously, though. Can you tell me what the Bears offense WAS under Tice or Martz or Turner or Shea or Shoop or any of the last ten offensive coordinators?)

There are two pivotal questions facing the Bears this coming campaign.

  1. Will Jay Cutler buy into the Trestman system? All reports to this point have been positive but its easy to "buy into things" in the spring. The relationship between Cutler and Trestman will not be clearly on display until this summer in Bourbonnais.
  2. Can Jay Cutler execute the Trestman system? It requires discipline. It requires focus. And it requires an all-encompassing knowledge of what the other ten men on the offense are doing/supposed to be doing on every single play. If Cutler executes this offense he'll have the best season of his career. If he struggles, it will look like those little kids on the Boardwalk trying to land the rubber frogs on the plastic lily pads. Haphazard. Messy. Hopeless.

If Cutler and Trestman hit - in the classroom and on the field - the Bears don't just have an opportunity to compete for the title this coming season. They have the opportunity to compete for the next 5-7 years. That's why Marc Trestman, not any of the free agents or rookie draft selections, was the most important acquisition of the 2013 offseason.


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  • Anybody here?

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    you murph... you are here... and that's all that counts my man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • semicolon.... right parenthesis.

    You to irish... you too my brother.

  • I cant wait for this thing to get going! This post draft and pre camp time sucks!!!!

  • Jeff, that link to the project is broken, maing.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    maingses... get your ass back online foo.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Hey Rabbit, did you do the high rise rappel thing yet?

  • I think he's doing that in the fall.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Yeah, that's October 18th.
    Two days before the Bears-Skins game in DC.

    This time around, I'm thinking of selling some photos I've taken as a fundraiser.
    Here's the link to the donations page (I haven't decided on pricing for the photos, which photos, whether they'll be matted or not, blah, blah, blah).

    It better go well, but if I miss the Skins game due to an epic failure in my rappelling equipment, at least it will be a great excuse.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Murph, if you get into town early, you could watch me crap my!

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I've seen it murph, it's not that exciting.

    Just take him up to a very high place and pretend to push him off... the giggle.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    And no, the photos do not involve any DBB shenanigans. I think only 30 has the "good" ones.

  • It all depends on Jay's willingness to throw on time and get the ball out of his hands. That hasn't been his nature, as he likes to see the target come open and then whip it in there. With the crappy surface at SF, when receivers slip, the ball gets picked and returned. Trestman may be putting in a swiss watch offense, but wait until he sees what kind of surface they have to play on. Probably had better surfaces in the CFL.

  • In reply to Bumsteer:

    you are saying that the success of our new offense is greatly dependent on the surface we play on.

  • In reply to Bumsteer:

    It's not a swiss watch offense. Martz ran (or tried to run) a swiss watch offense. Trestman runs an offense that minimizes the stress on the QB and O-Line by not making them hold a pocket for 4-5 seconds. The quicker developing patterns and abundance of crossing routes at multiple levels makes defenders move out of the comfort zone of sitting back in a zone while we vertically drop Jay into the pocket and let dudes tee off on his face.

    Now teams will have to account for every player on the field as a guy that could get the ball within a second or two. Combine that concept with a nice pace, a competent playcaller dedicated to just that job and a refinforced O'Line and you've got the recipe for a classic D Coordinator Fear Boner.

    Think New Orlean Saints.

  • To add to what Johnny is saying. Trestman's offense is very hard to play zone against, but requires WRs to get quick separation against man defense. In other words, we take pressure off of the QB and O-line, but we put it on the WRs to win their 1 on 1 matchups.

    And that jives perfectly with Emery's vision for the team's WR group. Tall, physical guys that can win matchups. The speed isn't there like it used to be, but we're not waiting for 50 yard routes to develop anyway.

    Even Bennett, who's smaller, fits the scheme well. He makes tough catches in traffic and can work the entire width of the field.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Bennett also seems to get crushed too. I just hope he can stay healthy this season, because we no longer have Hester and Sanzen competing with him, but three (Anderson, Wilson, Harrison) fast actual NFL WRs who are hungry and might take his job if he misses more time.

  • The hit where where Bennett got his sternum crushed by the Saints dudes helmet crown would have crushed most guys sternum.

  • Damn bounty b.s.

  • first I thought you mean this : Senor Frogs Shot-

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    or maybe these booty shaking frogs-

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    ahhhh memories lobo. Got to get back to cabo maingses. Good times.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'll be there again this Sept. just like every year. I loves me some Cabo.

  • fuck yeah maingses... you should go for Memorial day. it's HUUUUUGE.

  • Brandon Marshall had a monster year last year. Alshon Jeffrey showed flashes of potential. When Earl got on the field, he was very Earl-y. Cutler did OK behind a POS line.

    Now, with a re-vamped line, a TE who can actually catch the ball, and a coach who knows how to run & call an offense, I think we're gonna see an offensive explosion the likes of which Chicago has never seen before.

    Marshall could equal or better his stats from last year--yes, he won't be the focus of the offense or Cutler, but a rising tide lifts all boats. I expect Black Unicorn, Alshon, and Earl to have solid-to-spectacular seasons. The biggest beneficiary, though, will be Forte. I see him putting up Marshall Faulk-like numbers in the passing game this year.

    Like others, I hate the next two months (football-wise; it's just about my favorite time of the year--after Sept-Oct--otherwise). All we get are tidbits about draft picks signing contracts and potential FA signings.

    This year will be harder than most. This year, expectations are sky-high. How many teams replacing head coaches can say that?

  • I hope Marshall's number aren't the same or better. I think he accounted for something like 40% of our offense, or passing, some ridiculous stat like that. That's good for FF, not for a team. Opponents can just triple team him, like the Pack did, and significantly cripple our attack.

    Kinda reminded me of when Forte had that monster year. I hope our offense is more like New Orleans or the Broncos with different receivers having monster games from week to week.

    We have 3 sure-handed WRs and a great pass catching HB, so this new system should make everyone's stats go up a bit at the expense of Beast who hopefully won't give a shit cause we'll be winning.


    damn humphries got kardashianed!

  • Ok.. This might not make you laugh but I was lol

  • repost from dead thread:

    Guys, i'm a huge Joe Anderson fan but I think we picked up a potential stud in Marquess WIlson in the 7th round. We took a gamble because ... know, he's a total dickface but he could grow up and be a great 4th or 5th receiver. It's hard to be a douche when guys like Marshall, Jeffrey and Bennett are there to show you how to be a pro.

    Then we picked up an UDFA in Mark Harrison who may or may not have pissed and shit all over his hotel room at the combine. regardless, the guy is a beast and is fast as balls.

    This camp is going to be silly with talent. Silly Jerry, silly.

  • Not sure what happened in that hotel room. Harrison seems fairly normal. Either way, I'd like to see him let loose at Lambeau.

    Here's Harrison talking about Brandon Marshall on March 13, 2013 (ie. - prior to the draft; sorry if it's ABP):

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I think he forgot to flush (or that toilets do not have showerheads), mostly.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Harrison took one of these I guess.

  • Got this link from a story on BleacherReport:

    Apparently, a few teams at Brent Russel's pro-day asked him if he would be willing to switch from DT to Center. Wonder if the Bears asked?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Here's a larger version of the image from the article:

    The second guy from the left (with the sunglasses) is Chris Ballard, director of pro scouting for da Bears. I know beause we just lost him to the Chiefs. See here:,0,4502530.story

    Chiefs promoted him to director of pro and college scouting departments. Biggs says that essentially makes him assistant GM.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Notice also Dick LaCock, 4th from left, back row.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    No relation to Peter Marshall.

  • Meteorite, Jeffery.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Or asteroid.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    Or asterite

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    Astral terrarists, crashing into New York City.

  • Lambo Briggs makes the Top 100 at 83 (dropped 11 spots from last year). Has more tackles for a loss over the last 10 than anyone else.

    It's going to be weird when Briggs gets the record for most tackles for a Bear. He didn't win over any fans when he emphatically stated he wouldn't play for the Bears ever again.

    Briggs ran a slow 40, which is why he fell, but his instincts are off the charts (something Te'o might follow).

    He just has a knack for being around the ball, bringing the wood, forcing fumbles, scooping up ints...

    Is there a better OLB in a 4-3? I can't think of one off the top of my head.

  • And while on Da Site, came across Mayock's tip-o-the-hat to Emery's draft.

  • He's one of the best. Briggsy brings it on gameday no matter what he does in his personal time.

    Same thing has been said of DJ Williams. The reporters in Denver that he shut out and wouldn't talk to hated him but even they admitted that he brings the fucking heat every sunday. Our LB corps is looking really solid.

  • Briggs could very well be the perfect Will for a Cover-2 base. He's great in coverage, great in the run, gets turn overs, durable...hits hard so that receivers think twice about going over the middle.

    Kinda sucks the NFL is so sensitive and will flag those hits now. I really think it hurts our Ds when WRs can just slant without fear of getting blown up.

    Back in the days, it was only men like Steve Smith who would have the balls to do it. Now, even DeSean Jax who used to only stay on the sidelines suddenly gets "brave".

  • Bang! Bang!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    And that was a LEGAL fucking hit!

    Broadcaster, "And a flag was NOT thrown...or is it? Oh, yes it is."

    I still think the NFL needs include challenging roughing the catcher/passer play.

    A lot of times, those unnecessary roughness penalties change games.

    It's easy to review too. Did he hit his helmet? NO.

    OK. No penalty. Carry on.

  • agree

  • We need ejector helmets. Push a button, helmet pops off, QB gets sacked, no penalty.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    watching that fucking plays gets me so fucking mad. There is nothing worse than installing rules that you don't have the will or capacity to implement correctly. A quick fucking review of these bullshit calls would cure everything.....except that would "make the game longer".

    I mean cutting into the 2hrs of car, cellphone and beer commercials would impact the integrity of the game so we obviously can't do both.

  • How's this for a win-win situation - While they're reviewing the call, play a car, cellphone or beer commercial...

  • Playing next to Urlacher all those years certainly didn't hurt.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    And playing next to Briggs all those years didn't hurt Urlacher, either.

  • Breaking: Tavon Austin Huge Favorite for Rookie of the Year.

    I know football blogs are desperate for stories this time of year, but come on.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Tavon Austin has my vote for dude most likely to sustain season ending concussion due to collision with linebacker.

  • hahahaha.. I was just about to type something very similar, but it included the words "obituary" and "snapped"

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    5'8 178lbs - Has this guy seen the Johnny Knox video? If someone shows it to him he may retire before the season starts.

  • you should tweet it to him sac

  • Drinkin Jay Cutler

  • "Seriously, though. Can you tell me what the Bears offense WAS under Tice or Martz or Turner or Shea or Shoop or any of the last ten offensive coordinators?"

    Let's see how about"




    Absolutely CRAP in short yardage situations.

  • Good article about what makes bad teams bad. The answer won't surprise you. Like the author says, "...the truth is not that complicated." It's pretty hard on the Jaguars in this case, but this same article could have (and has) been written about a lot of teams/owners/GM's:

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Exhibit A: Angelo, Jerry

    Exhibit B: Smith, Lovie Lee

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yeah, that's what I was thinking - hoping Emery is not one of those. The damage is done before you know for sure.

    Last night, I was looking at some of the choices made by the Steelers in the early 70's - Chuck Knoll was hired as head coach, and the Steelers drafted Greene, Bradshaw, Harris, Blount, Ham - and in the 1974 draft alone, four future hall-of-famers - Swan, Stallworth, Webster and Lambert. Four Super Bowls in six years.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    While not what we would hope for, it is a huge stretch to call the Chicago Bears during the Angelo-Smith years "a bad team".

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Exactly. I get all the discontent with Lovie not being able to get the offense straightened out. Total pisser. I don't get all the venom. I REALLY don't get blaming Lovie for JA's (and PE's last year) terrible drafting. The buck stops with the GM in the draft. Not the coach. Oh well.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Ok, one more time boys.

    Ja/Lovie weren't terrible like browns terrible, they just weren’t at all good. But never really good enough and/or always just bad enough (depending on how you want to characterize it)… to perpetually keep us out of the playoffs and in the second half of ever round of every draft... which they would team up to totally botch over the last 4-5 years.

    They. Were. Fucking. Turrible.

    No matter how you want to slice the end result... revel in their pretty decent w/l record all you want, no one's handing out lombardis for going 10-6.

    so if you two want to wax fucking nostalgic over their infuriatingly mediocre tenure, be my guest boys. I will not… ever. Good fucking riddance to a better looking and sounding (on paper at least) wanny era.

    smh you two, just smh slowly and sadly.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Really MB? Not understanding spewing venom is waxing nostalgic? Really? Dave and I both readily admit Lovie's expiration date had come and gone. We just refuse to go to the extremes to grind Lovie into the ground. JA is another story.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:


    yeah, and it's my stone my man... just let me grind it in peace.

    Never liked that fuck and never will brother. Don't like the way he conducted his business.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Apparently you have issues!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure our personalities are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Doesn't mean we wouldn't have a kick ass time if we were hanging out. I'll let you grind in peace. Just don't skin your knuckles!!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    yep. you're still one of my favs canada. trust me, we'd get along.

    I'm much more intense and angry here than in person. This is all fun.

  • the new Tebowing

  • Hahahahaha... no shit

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    "...The number one hero in women's erotica and romance novels is the billionaire. It's the equivalent of the busty teen for heterosexual men..."

    (from the full segment)

    Upton will cost you a thousand million, MB.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    When I grow up I want to be Tony Stark Buttsteak. I really really do.

    I probably would want the superhero part too, but his 'normal' life seems ok.

    If I had it, I might just pay that fee sir. Actually, I'd just be the man around town and make it happen.

    You know, I never cared about being rich or the things that came with it... it's the freedom that it provides you to do the things you want.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I don't care, I love it!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    You're too good for that bitch, MB. Come on over to the dark side.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Hahahahaha... The crying monkey award. Awesome.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


  • MB, they are having a grand opening of a home improvement store near my house. Chris Conte will be there Monday evening signing autographs. Did you want one? One white safety to another white safety? hahahaha

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    That's about his level murph... Signing autographs at a fucking furniture store opening.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I got his autograph at the Taco Bell.

  • This has probably already been posted, but I'd never seen such a long interview with Briggs.

    Talk with your hands much? Reminds me of

  • Thanks for posting Doc. I'd hate to run into Lance if he had bad intentions. The clip posted above with his hit on Megatron still gets me jacked up. We got screwed on the penalty but Megatron was invisible the rest of the game. I'm still shocked he got up as quick as he did.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Calvin's a big boy, Canada. And there's no reason to believe he's not tough.

    When you're the #1 guy, you kinda have to get up. Like Payton did all those years whenever he got crushed. And Walter took his share to be sure.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Good points Dave. It was the hit of the year for me.

  • Bulls.

  • In reply to Shady:


  • fb_avatar

    Nice Job Bulls. Go get'em today Hawks. Bulls doing their job. Which is to help keep us distracted until the start of football season.
    Hawks in it to win it.
    Not bad, not bad at all.

  • Guess who's going to call the plays in the huddle on defense?

    Lance Briggs.

  • Good, link?

  • In reply to Shady:

    I got it from Laurence Holmes, Bears Reporter /Talk Show Host 670 The Score.

    #Bears nugget. @LanceBriggs is making the defensive calls now. Taking it very seriously working through it on the field & in meeting room.

  • Well now who else was going to call 'em....? We don't even know if he can do the job though. Doesn't sound like he can from his interviews.

  • Okay, question for all the cyclists on here. I used to ride my bike everywhere all through school, all through college. Have not owned a bicycle in about 8 years (wow, that's embarrassing to type). I want to get a bike I can use to exercise and take to work once or twice a week.

    I have no clue about pricing, brands, nada. All my knowledge is ten years old, and even then I wasn't such a pro. I want a full size men's mountain bike (no cruisers) with front shocks and a comfortable seat. Preferably in the range of $100-300, so I'm thinking used.

    What do I buy, and where do I buy it on the North Shore?

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    NB, you're not going to get much in that range unfortunately.

    I would suggest just going on craigslist and/or ebay to look around to get a basic idea of what you'll get in that range... and what you you'll get in the $500-$1000 range.

    You get what you pay for my man. You're in NY right? I was tempted to type... 'of Hawaii?"

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Chicago man. I'm a local fan.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Also, check out your local bike clubs. A lot of times they will have bikes for sale in their newsletter. Just make sure it's a bike store bike and not a dept. store bike. You might need to up your limit. You probably won't be able to get anything but a POS for $100.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    An excellent idea. Those guys are always looking to upgrade to the latest and greatest. It's been years but I got an incredible deal at the time (back when Reynolds 531 frames and Campy gears were all the rage) from one of those guys (a year old bike that cost $2000 originally for like $500) as he already had the new bike and just wanted to get the old one out of the garage....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Do you still have the bike? I've got two old steel bikes. One with Columbus SP and the other is SLX and they both have a great ride. They're heavy but a very forgiving ride. Not to mention, road bikes almost never get totally thrashed unless they were in a major crash. Mountain bikes can get pretty worn out if the guy was a beast off road. Usually it's pretty obvious if a mountain bike has been totally abused. I love bikes!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Weird. I can see my initial reply to you in the latest comments area over to the right but it doesn't show up attached to your post. When did Jeff say we were abandoning this ship?

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Oh, I forgot to mention - two steel bikes I used to have as a kid that I thought were long gone, I discovered a few years back in one of my father's garages up in Wisconsin. A 64 Schwinn Typhoon and a 68 Schwinn Fastback (the five speed Stingray with the skinny slick on the back). My old man's pathological inability to throw anything out finally worked out for once. Both are in pretty good shape and I'll bet they'd be worth a few bucks to a collector...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Sweet!! I know they're worth a few bucks. Unless you need the space or the dough, why sell 'em?

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Nope, no reason to gt rid of them. I'll just let my siblings know that when my old man finally makes his transition and they haul all his junk off to the local landfill, to hold those to the side as unlike everything else up there, they actually have some value....

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    The only thing I'd add to this is that if you're just using the bike for exercise or the occasional commute, consider avoiding shocks altogether. They're great, but they slow you down and add to the price of the bike. Unless you'll be doing some trail riding or just want to be able to bunny hop up curbs with ease, shocks are wholly unnecessary.

  • that's actually a good point doc.

    you don't miss me at all do you? Yes, I'm feeling needy tonight.

  • I used to ride a lot Doc, and I'd like to get back to that as its great for the mind and body. But I will not be doing any serious mountain biking.

    With that said, I want the shock to take pressure off of my wrists, both of which get sore periodically from years of playing drums.

    And yeah, the bunny hopping is nice too.

    I wouldn't want seat shocks or rear shocks for that reason, but the front shocks help a lot.

    I don't mind a cheap bike... less likely to get stolen and less depressing when it does. Is it cheaper to buy something beat up and buy separate parts?

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Don't buy a used, cheap bike and try to upgrade the parts. It's not cost effective and basically you're polishing a turd. I'm pretty sure if you beat the bushes a little in the burbs or hit some garage sales, you could find a decent bike. Depends how much time and patience you have. Good luck!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    That's the issue, I don't really know what brands to look for. Here's an example:

    This bike is $100, it is a used department store bike. I go on this forum (found by google search):

    and I basically get the same thing I get on here. "Garbage" "Junk" "Dept Store Bike Stink!" etc etc. But those guys (like you guys) are all going to suggest a bunch of high end expensive stuff. That doesn't help me out, I want something entry level.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    It doesn't have to be a high end bike. Bike shops sell more low end bikes than anything. The differences are the components/frame aren't junk. Go on the websites of the big local bike shops in Chicagoland. Check out their brands. Here's a list of bike shop bikes that were built in the last 10-15 years. Trek, Giant, Specialized, Norco, Diamondback, KHS, Cannondale, Bianchi, Fuji, Gary Fisher, GT, Haro, Jamis, Klein, Kuwahara, Lemond, Merida, Miyata, Mongoose, Motebecane, Nishiki, Novara, Peugeot, Raleigh, Redline, Ross, Rocky Mt, Santa Cruz, Univega and Yeti. Most of these brands made lower end bikes that were decent. Be careful with Schwinn's. They used to be reputable but in 2001 they bellied up and started selling their bikes in Wal-Mart's.

    They are other brands that are great bikes but are more high end. Any bike from the list above would be better than a dept store bike. Shimano is the largest component mfr. If the bike you are looking at has Shimano components, look online and find out how far up the food chain it falls. Shimano makes a ton of component groups and it should be fairly easy to get this info. The better the components the better the bike. Mfr's wouldn't put high end components on a low end bike. If you can test ride the bike, pick it up. If it weighs a ton, it probably isn't great. Aluminum frames are lightweight and usually not too expensive. Don't worry about the seat. If you hate it, you can always replace it for not a lot of money. Hope this helps.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    This is the advice I was looking for. Thanks a lot Canada.

    Funny, when I was a kid I had like 3 different Trek bikes. Pretty sure they all came from Target.

  • No, I don't. After dragging it around for twenty years and never using it, I finally got rid of it. I think it was referred to as a touring bike. The first few years I had it though, I got my money's worth out of it. I believe it was a Fujita but the previous owner had really rodded it out. Rode mostly in the city and got tired of bent rims and flats from potholes and broken glass so I bought a set of wheels with titanium rims and Kevlar beaded tires and that took care of that.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    OK, now it shows up...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Actually CB ,for the record, now that I read you list of quality bikes, the one I had was a Miyata and not a Fujita (I knew it sounded Japanese)...

  • Anyone know when Jeff is abandoning this ship? Hes been very silent on the subject. I'm thinkin he's had a change of heart and decided to stay here. Jeff, speak up, tell us what's the status of moving this thing.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:


  • Mark 'Sink Dump" Harrison?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Other nickname possibilities;

    Brown Bomber
    Mud Cannon

    Upchuck Harrison. That's pretty good.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    good ole "floor piss" Harrison.

  • Hey GP, if you win the auction, can I get a ride or two?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ferrari owners. Yuck.

    Now, a remake of an Iron Curtain roadster? That shows you have money AND taste.

    It's just an AutoCAD car for now, but I'd love to put an order in for that.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    yuck indeed. count my exFIL amoung that crowd. Small penises me thinks.

    Meh, not that impressed with that.

    I love the new e-types (maybe I'm biased), and I've always been a huge F1 fan:

  • If you guys haven't caught the new bourdain show on CNN, I highly reccommend it.

    When I grow up I want to be Anthony Bourdain. Fuck me.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The show in Quebec was great (other than the bullshit 5 minutes about French separatists).

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Loved that one. Saw it again last night. Those two chefs and what they ate... oh my fucking god. Lucky bastards.

    That show actually made up my mind that I would visit Quebec soon. Never had an interest before.

    Also, why does that make you angry... you don't think it's true? Just curious... I have zero clue about it.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    My wife is from Montreal. She left there due to the separatists/language police. She's bi-lingual but English is her first language. Her dad's family is 100% French and bi-lingual. Her mom was English. She really hated being told what language she had to use to conduct business. The show gives the impression the French speaking people are being bullied when it's just the opposite.

    Separatists are a bunch of fucking idiots. Quebec sucks off the Federal Govt like crazy. Quebec would throw their support to whichever party would be dumb enough to buy their votes. Harper is the only Prime Minister in recent history who hasn't caved in to them. He basically told them to pound sand.

    Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful province (and the largest) and Montreal is a beautiful city. The food is awesome and the women are OOH-LA-LA!!!!! Basically I hate their politics.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    After reading my post I wanted to let you know I'm no fan of Harper but I do respect him for standing up to the Quebecois.

    The French chef that has the sugar shack (Martin Picard) is very cool. He used to have a show on up here where they would go out in the bush and cook the wild game the hunters and fishermen brought in. He's funny as hell. His restaurant in Montreal is supposed to be fabulous. His sugar shack would be a must visit.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I'm 100% in canada. I'll let you know when I go.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Very cool. Montreal has a comedy fest and a great jazz fest. The jazz fest has lots of free music on outdoor stages and isn't limited to jazz. Most people are bi-lingual and will speak English if they have to.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    If you get axstv (access), they have been playing ten hours of music a day from jazz fest in NOLA. I think it's done now, but they will probably show it again. Seen a lot of good acts the last few days, and haven't even watched half of it yet. That festival is on my bucket list, but wrong time of year for me.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    canada... tell me about the wee-mens... where are all the womens ats?

    How much for the girl? How much for thee weemen?

  • MB have you been watching the Giro? It's my favorite stage race. I love the scenery, the fans, the podium girls and especially the racing. It's usually more wide open than the TdF. I'm pulling for Hesjedal (of course) but if he doesn't win I'd like to see Nibali win. Wiggins reminds me of Indurain. Kills everyone in the TT's and a decent climber. Very boring. Indurain was a such a nice guy it was hard to root against him. I don't have that problem with Wiggins.

    When Cav won the first stage he was getting interviewed and his earpiece wouldn't stay in. At some point he said, "Fuck it", and then realized it. Hilarious. I used to think he was too cocky and arrogant. I really like him now. His wife isn't bad either!!

    Do you ever go to the Tour of California? This year they are having the Tour of Alberta. Hesjedal is supposed to be there. I'm going to try to catch some of it live. It ends in downtown Calgary. Should be fun.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    haven't been able to catch it this year canada... was just up in Solvang/Santa Ynez this weekend for my buddies wedding. He's my riding partner and does tris with me. The TdC goes right through there actually. kinda cool. Lots of good riding up there... MTB too. Pretty country.

    On the drive home another buddy and me watched a dude come up the pass in 40-50 Knot winds. Brutal, but I guess he chose to ride that day.

    I might try to catch some tours this coming year once I have some more time and I don't have to deal with the D word anymore (thank god). I am still trying to push my friends to do TdF with me. We'll see.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ugh! I have a wedding tio attend in Solvang this weekend.. well it's at Firestone winery. Who the hell plans a wedding out there anyways. There are only two overpriced hotels and a bunch of janky motels to choose from. It's far from anything and it's not even the best wine country in CA. Oh and its mothers day weekend.

  • Hahahaha... jesus sac. go have fucking fun maings. Drink a bunch of good beer and wine and blow it up dude. You'll have a blast negative nancy.

    here, this might help too:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    oh, and that place has the best pasteries and lutafisk this side of minny. (not that I ate either of those things)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Haha. I'm a groomsman so I'm sure I'll have a good time and run amock. But I am also thrifty, or as any of my g/f's would say "hella cheap". But I wear it as a badge of honor. I dont like spending $200 a night (rehearsal is fri so thats 2 nights) on a so-so hotel plus schlep my way down there and prob spend upwards of $700 total. Man my annual trip to Cabo is only $850 and I dont have to do squat when I get there exept drink unlimited booze and apply sunblock. Oh well. I just needed to kvetch.

  • enjoy maings.

  • You know who needs to go Woodhead and do a bit like this?

    Earl Bennett. Dress him up with a bad wig, and have him go to Sports Authority and try and sell his own jersey.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think it worked because woodhead is 5'7 185.

    Bennett is almost 6'1 and 210 of all muscle. That's a big motherfucker.

  • oops, woodhead is 200lbs. At 5'8 that is probably why he can take those hits. that is also pretty fucking solid.

  • It's a great bit, though, because nobody recognizes him. Woodhead, that is.

    The only other guy it would work with is Chicken Dinner. Put a big brown mullet wig over his crew cut and have him hawk his jersey at the Sports Authority across from the Rock N Roll McD on Ohio. His name tag should say something really redneck, like Bobby Joe.

    Because that's a guy who, when you stand next to him, you think, "this guy plays in the NFL?"

  • In reply to gpldan:

    i was watching the Woodhead piece when it was on NFL Network and it was sad watching these pissy New Englanders treat this guy like a fucking dork and brushing him off and all the while he's your starting running back and they probably masterbate to him and Brady while watching their youtube combine videos.

  • pissy New Englanders treat this guy like a fucking dork and brushing him off

    I think that's how they treat everybody. It's New England. This is normal:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    lol, now you have me watching NY subway fights between sista's.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I believe that series (I think it was called "I get that a lot") also had Snoop Dog as a parking lot attendant and Paris Hilton working at a gas station mini-mart. They were both pretty funny too...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    here's a couple clips:

    Snoop Dog:

    Paris Hilton:

  • I kinda want that statue.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Ozougwu is a better defensive end than McClellin. The only reason he doesn't play is because Shea was a 1st round pick and we got Cheta Ozougwu for a partially eaten Crave Case and expired Fandango gift cards.

  • I think he actually may be better. He's like cheap Elvis. Dumeravil.

    I don't like Shae's game. He better come into camp with more zits on the back of his arms than a trailer park queen.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Amazingly they held on to Cheta. That means they are seeing the sad truth. That Mr. Irrelevant is a more aggressive and better option at pass rusher than our 1st round draft pick.


  • Today's Bears trivia.

    In 1960, the Bears drafted a guard out of Syracuse in the first round.

    His name?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Merlin Olson? I kid but it's a good mothers day tie-in. I had to google the answer so i wont giveit away. I did find it interesting that the only hall of famer drafted that year was a safety taken in the 7th round. The draft is such a crap shoot. I guess it's just pointless even watching or analyzing it until these guuys have played a couple seasons.

  • Don Meridith was a Hall of Famer drafted in the third round that year.
    He got in the hall in 2007
    He didnt make it as a player, but as a broadcaster

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Yeah not as a player. Interesting compared to the 62 draft class where almost the whole 1st round were studs and everyone after that was a nobody.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Roberto fucking Garza.

  • Sac, if you're still around... my buddy Dan Soder is going to be doing comedy at the Punchline on 5/9 - 5/12. Dude just had a half hour special on Comedy Central.

    He's a good shit.

    Check dat! Everyones!

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Ah I'll have to check him out. I probably know whoever is opening for him. Sacs comedy scene is fairly small.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    eat a diiiiiick.


  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    that was funny man, your boy has chops.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    He's good, real good! I'll be watching for him Willie, I'd go see him in a heartbeat. (can ya get me front row?) hahahaha

  • Read how we lost out on Don Meridith in that draft. I never knew we had drafted him in the 3rd round that year. Good trivia stuff gp!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Guy's name was Roger Davis. 1960. Guard.

    I'm cribbing trivia questions from Larry Meyer, which - I think - makes me the lamest sports fan on the Interwebz.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That last sentence made me laugh like hell!

  • In reply to gpldan:

    He started at right guard for the '63 champs. I believe back issues curtailed his career.

  • Man its slow this time of year. We are relegated to talking about the 60's drafts and 90% of you cocksuckers weren't even born! bwahhhhhh!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    I'm proudly in the 10%.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    10 percenter, reporting for duty, sir.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Of the regs, I think the four of us are about it. There might be others but they aren't regs or they aren't owning up to their age. Ghost was definitely in our group but I'm afraid he joined Papa Bear and Walter.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Me too but not sure how proud I am. I thought I'd be dead by now...

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Plus myself = 5. That means there's 45 cocksuckers on this blog.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Sorry Crunch didn't know you were in the club! That makes 5.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I missed a big chunk of the decade, and I don't recall the rest of it. I'm pretty sure I was not aware of the NFL draft at the time. I did get my head stuck in an angelfood cake pan.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    I always enjoy reading what you geriatric peeps have to say. And best wishes on your health old man.

  • Kris Kluwe got the boot (no pun intended). Not necessarily a fan of his politics but I had an immense amount of respect for his speaking out on matters that were important to him (and the world)...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    And Kluwe HAS to be one of Devin Hester's all time favorite punters, no?

    Hah! "No pun intended' my aunt fanny, girl!

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    No kidding! Hopefully Devin regains his mojo this year. It's now or never for him.

    Besides Kluwe being so outspoken I read where he had very few punts downed inside the 20 last year. You can be outspoken as long as you're really good at your job. No different than any other job. I'm sure if I was always popping off publicly my employer would take a hard look at my future with them.

  • B U L C E

  • In reply to Viva:


  • GET SOME!!

  • In reply to Viva:

    Un. Fucking. Believable.

  • the bulce play basketball right?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I wish I gave a shit.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I don't. wish or give a shit.

    But at least there's something to watch when you hit the bars.

  • Hey Cor, is that a TV channel? If it is, I don't get it. DAMN! It's on my bucket list too. Even my parents went to that festival. They always have a killer lineup. I've had numerous people tell me the Gospel stage on Sundays is amazing. One of these days!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Yep. DirectTV. One other amazing part of the festival is that many of the bands hit the bars and theaters for late night shows that go into the wee morning hours, and musicians move around between gigs and all kinds of great combinations get together. If I win the powerball on Wednesday, I promise we are going next year for a week! I"ll be searching for cool you tube videos in the next few weeks from that weekend. A few gems will surely emerge. And I love some good gospel music. I've probably posted this song before, but I love it. My friend Sue did a great job recording.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Irish, this song isn't as powerful as Luke Kelly's Scorn not his Simplicity, but it's a pretty damn good emotional song.

  • Hey MB, I wish I could give you some insight into the Montreal womens. Other than they are beautiful, I know almost nothing about them. I'm crazy about my Baby but other than that I have no experience with them. I met my Beloved Bride on a bike tour from Vancouver to Banff. She was working for the tour operator and I was hitting on the help. When I've been to Montreal there were beautiful women all over. That's about all I know. I'm sure with your charm and tenacity you could make it happen. Not to mention some alcohol.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    hahahahaha... thanks canada (I think)

    I've been wanting to learn fraunch for years. I'm going to as a divorced finalized gift to myself... oh, and that P5. Heee heee!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Too cool! When is it going to be final? Nothing against my ex but I should have done it about 10 years sooner. My ex was a nice person but I didn't want to be married to her any more. It was a great feeling once it was final.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    thanks Canada, middle of next month. Can't wait.

    I won't talk about my ex... ok, I just won't.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Speaking of ex's...

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    saw that. Spending $80k on a ring... you get what you deserve fucking meathead.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    785,000 American dollar bills. Plus $230,000 in other gifts and an American Express card ($108,000).

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Et Madame Trestman? Combien pour ses filles?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yes? What did I say? According to google translate, I asked "How much for zee daughters?"

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    yes, as in... no matter what the cost... yes please.

  • I would have replied directly to Cor and MB but this wonderful site won't let you after too many posts. What a POS! Come on Jeff, let's move it on over.

  • Any luck signing Nate Robinson and/or Noah to the squad as some fire under our asses when needed?

  • In reply to 505 Bears!!:

    Robinson can play CB apparently...

  • Just think...

    Whatever your tasks are for today, Marc Trestman's day today will consist of going through old Martz plays to see if there is anything worth cribbing.

    He will be using a red sharpie and crossing out EVERY SINGLE HESTER SCREEN PASS.

    "No. No. No... Fuck no. No. No. Jesus, no. No. "

  • In reply to gpldan:

    What about reverse hand-offs to Bennett within the last few minutes of a game when we're down 7? Please....we keep them?

  • Video interview with Charles Ramsey, the man who rescued Amanda Berry from the Cleveland home where she had been held captive for 10 years.

  • I know a lot of you are big music fans. Not sure how i feel about this years ACL lineup. I was planning on going but now I'm kinda losing interest. It seems like a flashback to junior high. But they do have some pretty interesting newer bands lined up. Tame Impala is cool and Parquet Courts are one of my favorites right now!

  • new tread maingses

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    damn that's a serious line up.

    I'd go for Silversun, Muse, depeche mode alone.

    Best new band name: Not in the face

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