The Bears Fan Story Project: Introduction & Solicitation

The Bears Fan Story Project: Introduction & Solicitation

The next two and a half months can be dreary and depressing for the die hard NFL football fan. For myself I'll watch golf tournaments, including two majors and The Players. I'll watch MLS matches and NASCAR races. I may even toss on an NBA or NHL playoff game or two as long as there isn't a Seinfeld rerun airing at the same time. But there's no football. None. Hell, even the coaches take vacations in June.

Today I am launching the BEARS FAN STORY PROJECT. 

THE BREAKDOWN

In the early 1970s theatre director/choreographer Michael Bennett was given a sizable amount of money from Public Theatre founder Joe Papp to workshop a musical based upon the lives of Broadway dancers. Bennett gathered a collection of hoofers into a studio on Lafayette Street for a few months and they told stories. What emerged from those stories is the musical A Chorus Line - one of the most successful theatre pieces ever created.

Sports fans have great stories about their relationship to their favorite team. I've found Bears fans especially do. And now, because of technology, they are capable of sharing them to the world without having to gather in a studio at the Goodman Theatre.

I want to compile those tales. Will I ultimately turn them into an evening of theatre? Maybe. If I do your stories will receive all the credit they deserve. Will I simply post/air them on this website? Perhaps. That would certainly be the easiest way to share them. Will I compile them into a volume to share with the fans? It could happen if we receive enough tales of note.

 WHAT DO YOU DO

Send me your stories. You can send them in one of three forms: written, audio, video. There are no restrictions or limitations on the stories. They can be as long or short as you want them to be. The only rule is they must involve the Chicago Bears and you.

Email me the stories - jeff@dabearsblog.com.

GET THE OLDER FOLKS INVOLVED

We don't want these stories to be limited to folks under forty. You know, the ones who spend times on Twitter and on blogs. We want it to be all-inclusive. So get your fathers and grandfathers involved. Go over to their house and record a story of theirs. Then send it my way.

My hope is that we can create something special here. Something truly unique. But there is only so much I can do. Now it is on you. The fans. I look forward to checking the inbox.

Comments

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  • First BEYOCHES!!!! Ccaw..Ccaw..

    & btw blogfader...I resemble that remark about "THE OLD ONES"....hahahahahahahaha

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    "Older Folk".....Al, Murph get your walkers out....WTF?...lol

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    "What's that ya say, sonny?"

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    So, you're calling yourself "The Old One" ?

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    BAm..blogfader said over 40's are the "older folk" well fuck me that was some time ago for me....lol

    and I'm NOT the "Old One" sheite I can't be....PLEASE!!!!!!

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    I don't have a walker.

    But I swing a mean CANE!

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    I will become a "retired number" this year, and I don't mean Butkus.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    And no, not Bulldog Turner or George Trafton, either!

  • SECOND to say...

    The THREE "Don't you fucking say that"

    http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4683505/isaacson-emery-understands-risks-of-

    did you see what I did there?

  • Jeff, thanks for using the picture I sent you of doc, me, and rabbit at the packer game last year for this piece.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    So MB..which one are you?????

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    Lo...bo.

    I'm the guy wearing the gloves and the hat... in jeans

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    nice look

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    I'm kidding lobo... they're all wearing gloves and hats and jeans.

    That's not really us, I was just mussin.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I know I was just busting balls...... I had seen they all have gloves and jeans....

  • kyle long will wear #75 this year.

    Bang! Bang!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Boyz..don't hate the pic..not yet...

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0428-long-bears-nfl-draft-chicago-20130428,0,6739415.story

  • So this one time, I dressed up as superman and made a sign that read 'urlacher is my hero'.

    C'caw! C'caw!

    Seinfeld quote of the day:

    "It's not a lie, if you believe it."
    - George Costanza

  • In reply to Shady:

    Serenity NOW!!!! Serenity NOW!!!!!!

  • izzy visiting titans: http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4683498/source-free-agent-dl-idonije-visits-titans

    How about a trade straight up for one of their Cs?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    ooohhhhhh.....I likey

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Izzy b a free agent maings, can't do eeet.

  • In reply to Shady:

    ah, right. damn.

  • In reply to Shady:

    is he?....sheite!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If there really is trouble in paradise, I would give up Briggsy for Schwenke ...

    (ducks)

  • next year.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    agree

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    They wouldn't give him up next year for Briggsy. Maybe they would now. Sorry Lance. Just bidniz.

  • and if we had "The two we do not name" this is the kind of sheite we used to do:...NOT WITH E-TRAIN!!!!!!

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000165343/article/adam-snyder-cut-by-arizona-cardinals-after-one-year

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    yep, sounds like a classic bullseye target for JA/lovie.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Except it would have taken them 3 years to make the correction, Williams/Carimi-style.

  • In reply to Jokey:

    3 years?! Yeah right... if we were lucky.

    Where you been maingses?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I've been around, reading a lot more than posting. How many months until September? God I wished I liked baseball.

  • In reply to Jokey:

    baseball is what hell is like... just a little less hot.

  • OK I started, we just need some more scenes:
    MB30SD
    ...it isn't you...? Who is it?
    Who is this I'm talking to? I need
    the draft pick...

    4EVER85
    ...after the thirtieth...

    MB30SD
    Bullshit the thirtieth, I don't get
    on DBB by the thirtieth, they're
    going to can my ass. I need the
    picks! I need them now. Or I'm
    gone, and you're going to miss me,
    Man, I swear to you.

    4EVER85
    Emery...

    MB30SD
    ...you talk to Emery...

    4EVER85
    I have. And my job is to marshal
    those picks...

    MB30SD
    Marshal the picks...marshal the
    picks? What the fuck, what bus did
    you get off of, we're here to
    fucking rant! Fuck marshaling the
    picks. What the fuck talk is that?
    What the fuck talk is that? Where
    did you learn that? In school?
    (pause)
    That's "talk," my friend, that's
    "talk." Our job is to rant. I'm
    the man to rant. I'm getting
    garbage.
    (pause)
    You're giving it to me, and what
    I'm saying is it's fucked.

    4EVER85
    You're saying that I'm fucked.

    MB30SD
    Yes.
    (pause)
    I am. I'm sorry to antagonize you.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    GP...tee hee hee

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I like it gp

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    1500 blog points if you can guess what it's from.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCf46yHIzSo

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Here's a seasonal version of it:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJAej07XUos

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That has to be GGR...

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    DAMMIT CN. I had that!

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    bang! bang!

    ...maing.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Slow on the trigger.

    MB wins the round.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I would have gotten the points anyway GP, I went out and found the fucking supporting video... Rabbit just gave the wrong fucking initials.

    WTF rabbit??!?!?

    (HAHAHHAHA!)

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Those ARE the right initials, dammit.
    It's Glengarry Glen Ross.
    You should forfeit your points...
    Dammit.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Hahahahaha... ok ok, I thought Glangarry was two words.

    You still get.... shady... tell him what he gets please.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Proper fucked?

  • Oh, and since we're immortalizing MB and I, hey, MB, which flick do you like better, "Lock, Stocked and Two Smoking Barrels" or "Snatch"?

    I'm a little torn myself.

    Oh, and the rest ok you schlubs feel free to vote.

  • Ugh... that's fucking tough.

    Maybe Lock, Stock by a smidgen.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    no way... gotta go with snatch... but they're both awesome.

  • Lock, Stock...
    I thought Snatch was entertaining...passing an easy joke up.
    But Lock, Stock was a better movie, I thought.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    jesus, we need to have a talk next time we see each other.

    This character alone takes it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcG3JRIF05w

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Alan Ford's scene was cut from Lock Stock. Guy is brilliant.

    Here is the cut scene (he's not playing Brick Top):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFLsn2v4qLE

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I don't know...I sort of lose respect for Sting when he weeps at the poker table.

    Also, so Harry has a heart attack and Sting wins by default?

    Are those the underground rules to poker?

  • I hope I never find out. That story made shit sense.

  • Lock stock, because it has a cliffhanger ending. Snatch, outside of the traveler scenes, quite boring. Loved Brick Top though. Great character. And I do love dags.

    Must see movies from recent times : Oblivion, and if you're at all partial to a spooky movie, 'Mama'.

  • In the same vein, how many have you guys have seen Layer Cake? I'm pretty fond of that film as well, I'm pretty sure it has the same director.

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    One of my favorite movies. If I happen across it, I always end up watching.

  • Scharf, from the last thread, I am a big Flight of the Conchords fan, I actually got into them because before they had their tv show, they had a radio series (that was essentially season 1 of their tv show, but set in London) over here in the UK that started the fandom.

    I'm gutted that I did not find them earlier, because they used to frequent the Edinburgh festival almost every year, but they don't do that now.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGCFXZyR38I

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Jemaine is class.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoF_fa9TMDk

  • hahahahaha... aussies. Filthy buggars, small hands, smell like cabage.

  • That just started a whole discussion on the kiwi accent from the three aussies here in the office. Short vowel sounds, apparently.

    E.g. a kiwi would say "fash and chaps" .. .which sounds suspiciously like northern Irish to me.

  • That's pretty cool. I think my all time favorite is Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor.

  • Jefe - great idea on the Bears fan stories. Is there anything specific you want in the subject line?

  • you're welcome: http://www.mandatory.com/2013/04/30/tim-tebows-linkedin-profile-page/

  • http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-draft-valry/

  • fuck I love those.

    you still went too high. trololoolololooooo

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Cooper Manning: Uh, dad, you have THREE sons.

    Archie Manning: THE FUCK I DO!

  • In 1979, the seminal Chicago stage play on Chicago sports was Bleacher Bums.

    You can actually watch it performed here:

    http://www.fuzzymemories.tv/index.php?c=3631

    I think the time has come for Jeff to write the great American Bears fan stage play.

    1. It's never been done. Never been a Broadway show that takes place in the stands of a football game.

    2. There is only one city it COULD be done about: Chicago. My dialog above is from David Mamet. I think only Jeff could potentially out-swear Mamet in a written stage play. Most importantly, he should TRY.

    I'm not sure the arc of the play. My feeling is, of course, a Bears-Packers game at Soldier Field in December. All plays need a 3-act narrative -

    Act I - First Half, Bears take a big lead.
    Act II - 3rd quarter, things start to go badly
    Act III - Lovie calls a bad challenge, we lose on a last second drive down the field.

    I think that properly captures the Zeitgeist of the Lovie era pretty well.

    We need a bigcheese like character that gets in a fight in the stands (probably Act II) and some memorable characters that go through some sort of journey during the show.

    Bleacher Bums ran in packed houses well into the 1990s. I think Jeff can do the same.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think we can all agree that the Rev would make a drunken sailor with tourettes blush.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Yeah, good luck Jeff. If done well, and doesn't overtly reference the Bears in the title, it could play well anywhere.

    That courtroom Writer, Grisham, did a half-decent book, Bleachers, based on a bunch of alumni coming back to their field after their old coach dies and it's about drinking beer & reminiscing about the glory days.

  • fb_avatar

    Has to end with a win... has to.

  • In reply to Big Mike:

    mike... we're talking about the lovie era maingses.

    Love. Smith.

    Point made? Good.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Seriously, Bleacher Bums with the Cubs losing... again.

    In theater, tragedy flips into comedy easily. Happy endings do not satisfy.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Also, the fucking Limeys are contemplating writing a show about Soccer. Fucking soccer!

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/theatreblog/2011/sep/26/great-plays-football-theatre

    We gotta beat them to it. Gotta.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The name of the play should be "Free Lovie"

  • In reply to gpldan:

    hahahaha, or...

    "Lovie ain't free"

    "All's fair in Lovie and war"

    "Lovie struck"

    ok, I'll stop.

  • In reply to Big Mike:

    MB has a point man, think of how many games we pissed away under Lovie by taking a lead and then playing conservative as hell on O, while our D got gassed from our constant 3 and outs.

    But then you end with Trestman rising from the ashes and leading us to the promised land with an offense that doesn't stop until the opposing team has been humiliated to the tune of 50 points a week.

  • “A tragedy is a tragedy, and at the bottom, all tragedies are stupid. Give me a choice and I'll take A Midsummer Night's Dream over Hamlet every time. Any fool with steady hands and a working set of lungs can build up a house of cards and then blow it down, but it takes a genius to make people laugh" - The King himself

  • LeBron James said that?

  • Just before he left Cleveland.

  • No, had to be Elvis...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Jerry Lewis, King of Comedy.

  • Stephen King man.

  • If we would have drafted Kwami Short, we could have had both, a Long and Short Bushrod...

  • a Long and Short Bushrod, paving the way for Bush?

    No wonder Lovie got canned. That's a bit PG-13 for his liking.

  • Actually, Short was a DT, so he would be penetrating.

  • So we'd still have a Long Bushrod. Excellent. Our line might be crap but our self-esteem won't be!

  • http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/blog/eye-on-football/22170728/report-justin-blackmon-suspended-four-games-by-nfl

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    Makes me appreciate Jeffrey even more. Jags cannot catch a break though.

  • Speaking of penetrating DTs, Emery sure likes his size-speed guys. I like the fact that this kid WANTED to be a Bear because of our bad ass D. Too bad Marinelli can't coach this guy up like he did Melton.

    "The Bears showed such an interest because Minter is quite the under-the-radar prospect. Minter is a two-time All-Big Sky first team selection, who opened a lot of eyes at the NFL's super regional combine in Dallas on April 7.

    Just consider some of his measurables.

    At the super regional, Minter (6-1, 301 pounds) ran a 4.80 in the 40-yard dash and posted a 34.5-inch vertical jump. Those numbers would been the best and second-best among defensive tackles at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis, if he was there. Minter also benched 225 pounds 31 times at his pro day."

    http://blogs.suntimes.com/bears/2013/04/bears_may_have_found_a_good_on.html

  • damn dude is FAST off the ball... and he's got a damn good spin move.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    0:46 to 0:58

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kltD_GGxLc8#!

    That was brilliant. Pick 6, Weight Watchers style.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    hahahahaha... exactly.

    I think he was faster than lach last year.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Man, Minter has better hands than Kellen Davis!

  • my dick has better hands than Kdavis.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Sounds like one of Drew Carey's "My dick is so big..." jokes.

    As in:

    My dick is so big it has its own dick, and that's huge, too.

    My dick is so big it has its own spine.

  • hahahahaha... i love those. never heard them.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsJxnQNaQQs

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Holy crap. This guy didn't get drafted because, likely, "he didn't play against elite talent." Right?

    But he looks like a man among boys.

    I'd love to see him make it.

  • vikings got new unis

    http://www.stack.com/2013/04/27/minnesota-vikings-uniforms/slide-1/#articleTitle

    In related news.... they're still fucking purple and still fucking ugly.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    A matte finish on the helmets, eh?

    https://securecdn.disqus.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/481/9897/original.jpg

    Looks shit on a BMW M3, looks shit here.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    yup. it's still purple. gross.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That's weird - it was the only part of their new unis that I thought was worthwhile. Other than that, what the fuck did they do that was interesting?

  • LOVIE STRUCK
    A play by Jeff Hughes

    OPEN: It's a night game at Soldier Field. A cold one, with winter gale blowing and snow starting to come down.

    The main set is several rows of seats at Soldier's field, up in the 700s and an aisle that leads to the tunnel.

    Characters begin sauntering in:

    ERIK, a 20 something moppish figure wearing a parka over superman outfit. He brings in several signs to hold up during the game.

    FRANK. Quintessential Chicagoan, late 40s, mustache, gut, in a Bears Ditka sweater and coat with Bears hat

    MIKE. late 20s, about 6'2" 300. Bouncer at a club, wearing a stained T-shirt and a Santa hat.

    DOUG. What Steve Dallas was to Bloom County. Shades despite a night game, a T-shirt that says 'breakfast of champions' with a girl's posterior on the front.

    THE MURPH. Early 60s, mustache, the old-timer - wearing a Buffone jersey under his coat.

    REGINALD, "Reggie". The aisle security man. Yellow jacket, flashlight. Bad attitude.

    J DEEZY. The Wigger from the burbs. Hip hop gear, wearing the white scorpion coat from Driver, and gold rings on all his fingers.

    Need some more characters...

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Tobi. Driving up in his Iroc, sporting a full length coyote fur coat, 80s rock hair-do, and a navy blue and orange pimp cane.

  • Please, a Corvette, no Camaros/Firebirds. That's strictly Wayne's World. And how about a navy blue leather jumpsuit under that fur with orange boots...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u178/tangoteem/mullet.jpg

  • In reply to gpldan:

    http://tinyurl.com/c3zo4v3

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Exactly....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Annie. The love interest. Has blue eyes, dark hair and of course really, really, really big boobs.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Sub plot featuring MB...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    and we can't forget the bible thumper who talks to sock puppets on his hands....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think JDeezy should have grillz too.

    http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=grillz&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=DUf_f12YdlLY8M&tbnid=gAOl1jZLudCrTM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgucciwolf.com%2F11061%2Ffashion%2Fphotos-diamond-grillz&ei=MkyAUYLGEOf7igL18YGIDw&bvm=bv.45921128,d.cGE&psig=AFQjCNFXOkkf3DZaM5PfB_JCR2yPb_mWdQ&ust=1367449001094585

    In fact, I think that actually is JDeezy himself.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I've got to ask my old man if he ever did that for anybody. I'm pretty sure he retired before that stuff came on the scene...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I'll just assume he was a dentist and not the ringleader of a back-alley gang of marauding thugs tobi

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yup and until I moved down here, I had free dental care my entire life. I've just recently been rudely awakened to how expensive it actually is. I'm ok with the pain, I'm just not used to having to pay for it...

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Ahh your killin me gp, not 60 yet. Will be in in 6 months though. Shhhh, dont tell anyone! hahahaha

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    I think the point he's trying to make murph is that we're all fucking O.L.D.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    http://drecosby.ytmnd.com

  • In reply to Shady:

    lol

  • In reply to Shady:

    that was awesome

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    But you rock a 55 jersey, right?

    "Briggs?"
    "No, kid"
    "Wilson?"
    "Keep goin, kid"

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Check out Sly Stallone and Arnie at 60! Mind you Arnie's been working out every day since he was about 15 ....

  • Breaking news- Bears bring back MLB Brian Urlacher on a one year deal. Salary info here http://goo.gl/zPOD

  • You got me, sprout...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    That thing had red flags all over it after Emery drafted and signed like 14 linebackers. Almost believable because it was Artoo? Perhaps.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    I never said I wasn't a chump...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    the short url should have been a dead give-away tobi.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    oh and never trust a dude in tights

  • Someone should 'shop Lack's face onto Astley.

  • You bastard.

  • http://espn.go.com/new-york/nfl/story/_/id/9226939/gm-john-idzik-all-5-new-york-jets-qbs-compete-top-job

    Opening camp with 6 Qbs. And nobody is the incumbent.

    And that's AFTER getting rid of Tebow.

    The Jets are such clowns.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    It's no wonder Pats own that division.

    The 9ers, Jets and Bills have been dog shit for years.

    The NFCN has 3 playoff caliber teams. That's even better than the NFCW.

  • Yeah, and the 9er's aren't even in their division!

    Now the Dolphins... that is a team with its front office in order.

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    Ha. TYPO.

    Though that would be awesome, seeing the 9ers and Pats play each other twice a year. Harbaugh, Biilichick. Must see tv.

  • I see that I owe someone a "Thank you" from last thread. Thanks 4ever85, for pointing out that I was the first to come out as gay on DBB. It was not an easy thing for me to do. I'm glad someone remembers.

    But for the record, I have a Siberian Husky.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJSN2iarxE

    Not that there's anything wrong with owning a Maltese or taking pictures of it dressed in little outfits.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

    Awesome. a Siberian Husky un-outfitted is most certainly a man's dog.

    sorry $

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    As a proud Alaskan Malamute owner, I concur. Also, he's one of the biggest panty droppers in the known universe. Women are compelled to pet him. Even men admire him as a man's dog.

    But it's molting season, which means the hair rolls like tumbleweeds all throughout the house. Yea for central vacuums.

  • I didn't know if you were being serious or not, actually. So, a gay DBBer, you're like the Collins of da blog.

    And for the record, the Maltese is sporting a cool Bears jersey. Shit, even I don't own a Bears jersey (never could decide on which player to get. WAS going to get a Lach jersey).

    I was going to use this as my new avatar, but it's not as if anyone can see shit on this Gnome site, so I'm just gonna wait 'til Jeff moves to create a new avatar.

    http://baron.druga-strana.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Putin-rides-a-bear.jpg

  • that is decidedly much more awesome than your girlfriend's maltese.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    He does pound whiskey and prize fight against pit bulls on the side though.

    Would this make him "manlier"?

    http://www.chopperthebikerdog.com/Chopper%20on%20harley%20for%20website.jpg

  • I think the act of dressing a small dog automatically makes it unmanlier. But like I said, that's just me. Some guys like wolves; some guys put kitty stickers on their car - and that's okay. Just saying, not my thing.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I like wolves

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p4z2Ky4ngI

  • no

    http://sarasotadog.com/files/2012/04/Maltese-4.jpg

  • Whether I was being serious or not, I was still the first to come out.

    I like the avatar as-is. It looks like the dog is gritting his teeth.

  • Butch, for a moment I thought your girlfriend had hacked your account and was having a little fun. Really. It wasn't so much the Maltese, it was the SITC reference. Dudes don't watch that unless it's their girlfriend's wearing the pants in the relationship

  • ..... but what did you learn?

  • Trust me Irish, I wear the "pants". In fact, I think that was part of my problem in the past with the gals, being too "controlling", but I find myself mellowing out on all that as the years go by. Guess some would call it "wisdom."

    And what I found out by watching SITC (first time I ever heard that) is that women think about relationships - A LOT. In fact, it's almost all consuming. So it's no wonder when they get in one, they're like Einsteins compared to men on the subject. They've been dwelling on that thesis they're entire lives.

    By contrast, look at Seinfeld. All the shows are basically Seinfeld and George (and to a lesser extent, Kramer) getting laid and moving on. I'm sure the writers thought it a good idea that a female foil should be included, but Elaine is basically like a dude and probably has more casual sex than all of them combined (which is why she's my fav female character of all time!)

    As for masculinity and dogs, and I find that funny. The whole "what is masculine" part is pretty funny. Jeff works in theatre, probably writes musicals, some would probably consider that a little "gay". Or how about dudes who own cats? They are out casted from the locker room.

    It's the 21st century jabrones. There's and African American Presiedent and a gay basketball player, and football too as soon as Rodgers comes out.

    Embrace toy dogs!

    (though for the record, Maltese were used to hunt small animals, which is why they love burrowing so much, and barking at anything small that moves).

    And if you don't,

    http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Cutler-middle-finger.jpg

    bwhahaha

  • excuse typos.

    Keep calm and Carry on.

  • Lincoln got there first.
    USA, USA, USA..

    http://sharpwriter.deviantart.com/art/Abe-Lincoln-Riding-a-Grizzly-187840497

    That was my background for quite awhile, btw. Got me lots of interesting looks at work.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    kinda like this one: http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2010/346/9/3/stephen_colbert_atop_an_eagle_by_sharpwriter-d34rsmh.jpg

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Nice. I like Colbert on the Raptor.

    http://th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/183/8/2/reaganfield_3_premium_by_sharpwriter-d55rsrr.jpg

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    are you sure that's not a young ronnie regan?

    Also, it's so cool when you can teach your velociraptor to hold an american flag like that. money.

  • For 5 easy credit card payments of just $29.99 each, you can get 8 CD's of the most influential love songs of the 70's, 80's, and 90's from Time Warner. Don't believe me? Just watch the infomercial! It's got everything from Debbie Boone to Michael Bolton to Celine Dion and Barry Manilow. The Power of Love box set has everything. 150 unforgettable classics. Everyone should buy this in the next two minutes, because you get free shipping.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Don't forget, this collection is not sold in stores, so buy now!

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Power of Love Box Set. Sounds like a nickname for some twins I dated back in the day.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    What, no Monster Love Ballads? A collection of songs that shall drain your lighter fluid whilst waiving it in the air.

  • FWIW -

    After 50 votes so far, 18% would be happy with Garza at Center next season. 20% don't know if they would be happy or not.

  • There's a guy running fill-out-the-starters poll over on a certain website.

    http://www.windycitygridiron.com/2013/4/30/4287388/depth-chart-going-into-camps

    So far, on a small sample, people are assuming DJ is the Mike. Being 30 years old, I would have thought so too.

  • If Bostic doesn't at least contend to start, as a 2nd rounder, that's not good.

    It really seems like we're in rebuilding mode this year sometimes.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    The best part is that we're rebuilding and reloading at the same time. We improved offense dramatically and seem to be replacing parts to the D to keep it running similarly to years past.

    also, the Blackhawks are making this offseason extremely tolerable.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Seems like Pep and Cutler would be gone if the Bears were rebuilding. I think Emery's in a win now mode. That's why you saw him sign Linebackers and a professional Tight End. I think the draft was an indication of the same. Long is here because he desperately needed a guard (or two) to have any chance of making the offense click.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I don't think Briggs is going to be here next year. I think he almost got traded THIS year, but maybe the Bears didn't get as much as they wanted, and didn't want a full mutiny, so they're letting him play out this year, while D.J. eases into the system and replaces him next year, while Bostic mans the MLB, and whoever is left standing, Anderson or Supreme Greene at SAM.

    Trading Briggs next year will save us some cap, and probably reap a 3rd.

    So, I hope we win the SB this year to get maximum trade value and at least see one of the fantastic duo (Lach, Briggs) go out on top.

  • Briggs, at 34, would command a 3rd rounder in trade?

    I'm happy to have him this year. I'd like to see Mel Tucker do some creative things with the D and Chicken Dinner standing up.

    We saw Old Sauce do some of it, there were quite a few plays last year where only three defenders had hands on the ground. We may not call it a 3-4, call what you like, but more shifting and backside pursuit options

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I thought he was 32? Damn, already 34. Time flies.

    I was going to put a 4rth rounder, but I'm the Bears beat down the Broncos 45-3 in a little Manning revenge, in which Briggs tallies up 14 tackles, 2ff, and one int returned for a TD...then walks into the next swinging his cock, while all the other teams swoon over him.

    OK. Maybe a 5th.

  • Scarcely believable, but you the taxpayer, are about to see another trillion go onto the national debt plus whatever interest the Fed charges ... "to stimulate the economy".

    Geithner at a top-level Fed meeting back in the day :
    "Hey guys, how are we going to start making trillions of dollars? The people won't buy it unless .... WE PUT IN A BLACK PRESIDENT TO SELL IT TO THEM!"

    That's EXACTLY how it fucking happened

    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/no-end-sight-fed-stimulus-040556215.html

  • OK, I'll bite.

    What would be your solution Irish, switch back to the gold standard?

    Kind of curious what the Irish Solution would be to the Fed.

    (I sense an Irish Manifesto coming...)

  • OMG, tell me you didn't just invite that to happen.

    Irish, please send your typed 560 page manifesto to the department of homeland security in DC.

  • Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  • If everybody writes their congressman and demands the Federal Reserve act be repealed, that's a start. Abraham Lincoln introduced Greenbacks (government issued cash) to deal with a similar problem. I believe America has wrestled back control of the currency 5 times? The evildoers keep winning back control of currency supply - the last time being when you-know-who passed the Federal Reserve act with only three members on the floor and they passed it with a vote of 2-1. Of course when JFK tried to back the dollar with silver ...wait .... there's somebody at the door .....

  • Ugh, enough with the Gay player already. Rosenbloom on a piece about Brigg's mysterious tweets about Collins coming out.

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/chi-lance-briggs-jason-collins-rosenbloom-20130430,0,6921218.column?track=rss

    I know sport's journalist gotta write about SOMETHING when football is post-draft, but I'm already weary of the "gay players in 4 major northern american sports" theme.

    Almost makes me miss Tebowing (just don't ever come out, Tebus! I'd have to turn off my tv for about two years).

  • 4e85...................BITE YOUR TONGUE SON...

    I AM OVER THE T-BONER...GET THE FUCK OUT PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    BTW...T-BANER HAS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ...HE'S GAY!!!!

  • I 100% agree with everything you said about the briggsy situation above $. I think it was spot-on.

    ...and I'm not just saying that because I feel 100% responsible for all the SITC and maltese-based hazing you've endured over the last couple days... because I am 100% responsible (I know, I've used 100% 3 times already... deal with it) for all of it.

    I should be much more open and accepting of other dude's... 'lifestyle choices'. Maltese for you, english bull terriers for me... SITC for you, UFC for me... it's all good my man.

    I for one don't think you're 'gay' or even 'metro' or even more so 'effeminate'... I think you're just much more enlightened and comfortable with your sexuality than me. Kudos to you for being more evolved than this Neanderthal!

    (ok, in all seriousness... this was my last fucking-with-you post. I honestly don't think those things are gay or lame or whatever people want to label them... they are simply easy things to fuck with you about. And this is a virtual locker room, so I felt obligated.) Still love you maaaaaaaan!

    ~ kisses

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Haha, I know it's all in good fun. I think some are just hating cuz I used Super Bear Dog as my avatar in the Auction League, and got beat down!

    http://youtu.be/v-iV2q-W9BE

    (NTTAWWT).

    Also, how the hell could you NOT like "Seinfeld"?!

  • I'll stop though, it's enough.

    I see tons of manly dude's walking fluffy, little dogs. It's totally excusable because, 1) All dogs are awesome once you get to know them so it's hard not to fall in love with them, and 2) when it's your gf's dog you have no choice, it will happen. Now you made the choice to publicize this, so you must REALLY love him… but that’s ok. Single dude’s with cats are NOT ok… sorry yonny.

    As for sienfeld, you want the honest truth... even though I'm not a pious Jew, I don't like the stereotypes the show perpetrated. Whiny, annoying, petty jewish people. And I just didn't like the show to be honest. I tried watching a bit and I just didn’t really love it… whiny people kvetching about nothing all the time isn't my favorite thing to waste time with.

    I was much more of a Magnum PI person. Watch this and then tell me which show has more appeal to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBVHKwf5mSc

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Shit…. I need sensitivity training don't I?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ah, I get it. You'd probably hate "Curb Your Enthusiasm" even more than.

    You're probably more this type of Jew.

    http://youtu.be/oHyuf47UvZQ

  • Also, a bunch of shows were based on whiney ppl sitting around.

    "Friends" was basically the anglo version of that.

    "The League" is kind of based on the same premise.

    Hope that turns you over to the dark side of "Seinfeld"!

  • never watched any of them. I like action baby... the Hebrew hammer. nice.

    Yeah, I got in people's faces when they were anti-Semitic back in high school... and I went to school in the wasp capital of the world.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I had a pal who was an Israeli sniper. How you like them apples!?

    He actually used to tell me a lot of stories and insight into the tribe. For one, he categorized them into "Hollywood Jew", "Brooklyn Jew", "Israeli" and "Other", if I remember correctly, and how they each look down on the other for various reasons.

    He also said that Bedouins are best commandos in the Israeli forces, and they're Muslims! He also said that some Christian monks were actually in the military too, and a bunch of Russians who defected and "converted" but when the shit hit the fan in the battlefield, they would cross themselves!

    He ended up rescuing (and marrying) this Japanese chick who was in some weird Asian cult monied by non other than Sun Myung Moon...but that's another story...

  • Jebus, The League! I forgot about that, is it still on? Eh ... not that I watched it or anything ....

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck, handsome guy with a mustache, hanging out with similarly mustachioed ... bachelor gentleman friend. Mmmmmkay ...

  • The dog's wearing a Bears' jersey. that's okay then.

    I'd like to take this opportunity to come out too.

    I don't like Seinfeld.

    I readily admit I am apparently the ONLY person on the interweb who doesn't. I feel we need a support group. It's okay not to like Seinfeld.

    That felt good.

    I don't like Seinfeld.

    When I was a single dude, I had cats. Lots of cats MB.

    PUT THE FUCKIN' LOTION IN THE BASKET !!!!

  • Nope, Seinfeld sucked.
    Can't argue with you there.

  • hahahahaha... you're a fucking irishman living in thailand... I think you get a pass on the cat think m8.

    It's an american cultural thing... I think everywhere else in the world dudes having cats is ok.

    I personally just don't like most cats. They are skittish, non-responsive, don't give a shit about you, and are little bitches. That's not ALL cats mind you, the ex had one cat that was awesome and we loved each other... but he was super affectionate and wasn't scared of anything. I find that I don’t like 95% of cats.

    And before you can post this (yeah yeah yeah), I will for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJFp272w9u8

  • You into UFC, MB?

    I used to like it more back in the day when they had no rounds, no weight calls, and could do stuff like this.

    http://youtu.be/57Mva-3n7TY

    (Figures the dude punching is from Iliinois!)

    I remember Joyce Gracie going like an hour with "The Beast" on top of him (who weighed about 100 more).

    That's probably why they changed the format.

    I just can't get into it as much these days. My best friend loves that shit, which is ironic because he is a self-avowed homophobe, but has no issue with watching a bunch of fit sweaty men in underwear contort with each other for hours.

    http://youtu.be/DfkQ3ClVxQs

  • Hahahahaha... yeah, I'm a fan. Haven't been able to follow lately just due to schedule, but it's good.

    I grew up watching boxing my my pop, but boxing is a joke now so UFC is the next best thing (or better). And yes, I do enjoy watching the sweaty mens in underwears roll around with each others.

    Especially when shit like this happens: http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=jon+jones+toe&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=43nazctd4J8TdM&tbnid=f2Cx2rtOUHgkjM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.joe.ie%2Fsports%2Fmma%2Fvideo-jon-jones-suffers-pretty-gruesome-injury-as-he-defeats-chael-sonnen-0037141-1&ei=gy6BUf7sHOjWiwLMl4HICQ&bvm=bv.45921128,d.cGE&psig=AFQjCNFukL7Q1h6ifjNj0si0Fno9C3y5Vg&ust=1367506936726637

    It's Jon Jones breaking his toe (almost off) last weekend (he still won). Watch the video... oh my god I think I just threw up a little in my mouth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3VIUULJEHE

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I LOVED boxing, the "sweet science," esp when Tyson was knocking fools out, or Hearns-Haggler-Sugar-No Mas were battling each other, but yeah, it just got too corrupt. Got to the point when you knew the judges were gonna throw the fight for the upset just so there would be a rematch.

    I saw that toe-thang. Brutal. Hard to watch shit like that. Like when Lattimore tore up his knee - fuck.

    Supposedly, Knox still hasn't watched the hit which ended his career.

  • There's a documentary about how Don King is back in Cleveland now, mostly broke, shuckin and jivin in his old age - looking for another score.

    Motherfucker wrecked boxing. Wrecked it.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Only in America!

    Got check that out. Catharsis.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    DON ... KING .... IS ... .BROKE ???

    How in thee fuck ..... ah .... bitches and coke ... or the IRS?

  • http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/9123674/don-king-faces-end-career

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That was a great article if anyone hasn't read it. Hopefully still will be if you do.

  • If you guys are "old" then I'm a damn toddler. Shiiiet I'm not even in my mid 20's yet and I FEEL super old. Anywho, what happened this year with not having a draft party and meet up thingy. I would have liked to go and meet all you great, knowledgeable, genteeeeee.......?

  • In reply to OsosFan:

    You're 24 and you feel super old?

    I guess it's all a matter of perspective. You should be chasing boobies, every night - all night.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    +1

    Here's a movie version of this sage philosophy...starting at 1:20

    http://movieclips.com/WxiXB-dazed-and-confused-movie-just-keep-livin/

  • And I'll raise you .....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo4kDrWBa6c

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Dude. 24. Girls still look at you like you exist.

  • you're welcome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ucXoEjfrGs

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    ok that was funny.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    How did you find this shit?

  • sigh.

    it hurts my feelings that you don't read what I write.

    http://extramustard.si.com/

    twice a day, every day. there. you have it now. You've taken my secret sauce. Happy?

  • Here you go yonny

    http://blu.stb.s-msn.com/i/A4/21BFFACB140E61F6D3DA9D2D79EC.gif

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    i love it. so weird.

    Greatest cat clip ever:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbwpgyRUv5g

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    haha...very accurate.

    Holy crap, look at the 4rth comment down, and I quote:

    "The media-controlling Jews couldn't have such a wholesome guy have the spotlight. One good man could undo decades of subversion, because good humans resonate with Tim and would start being better people because of his example."

    And then ppl wonder why no one wants Timmy on their team. Holy bat crap.

  • With regard to the show Friends. Jennifer Anniston's nipples are the only reason the show made it

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    and the whole time I though it was because of the name Courtney Cocks (Cox's)

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    "Jen we're gonna need to shoot that scene again...apparently your nipples weren't hard enough, where's that ice guy"?

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    so hot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGp4blXnWHw

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Indeed. Indeed. Might need to DVR a few reruns just for a little nipple nostalgia

  • "An Adonis, a great physical specimen of a man. ... Our creator created a beautiful man," Harbaugh said of Okoye on Saturday, according to the Sacramento Bee.

    Yeah...Jim. Um... ok. So, liking San Francisco and it's nightlife so far, Jim?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    christian?

    http://tinyurl.com/cozazrz

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    try this: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7lkh9xAc61qggc5jo1_500.jpg

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Is that a RECENT picture of the Nigerian Nightmare?

    If so, I got to do some more push-up and crunches.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That's the guy I wanted for OUR team. That's the discus olympian who barely knows how to put on pads, but had crazy measurables.

    I liked him, but apparently, not as intensely as Harbaugh (NTTAWWT).

    My disappointment dissipated when I found out that Trestman too got a "beautiful man" in DT Minter's who's measurables compare favorably to Okoye's AND he actually played football.

    Good on you, Phil.

  • AND we got Washington...

    6'4" 265, 4.55 40, 36 bench, almost 40" vert.

    Fuck me maingses.

    This pommy didn't even come close (although he's 40LBs and 2 inches bigger):

    "At nearly 6-foot-6 and 304 pounds, Okoye ran the 40-yard dash in 4.88 and 4.78 seconds while posting a 10-foot-5 broad jump and a 35-inch vertical jump in a "real, first-class show." Brandt called him the class of the defensive linemen in attendance Sunday."

    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000158087/article/lawrence-okoye-impresses-at-super-regional-combine

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-combine/0ap2000000145097/NFL-Scouting-Combine-Linebacker-bench-press

  • Workout wonders...smh.

  • I have an off-topic question. Assume a junior declared early for the draft and was either drafted or signed as an UDFA. If he doesn't make an NFL team and he still has eligibility, can he return to college to play his senior year? Or does the fact that he signed a professional contract prohibit that?

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I'm almost positive that once a player declares for the pros, he loses college eligibility.

  • Jeff, this story is not play material, but here it goes. These are the "facts" according to what I've heard over the years. The story involves almost no football other than a small reference to a field goal.

    It was the late 70's or early 80's and my Dad, his brother T (been to many Bears games with him and my cousin, long time season ticket holders), and two friends headed up to Green Bay for a Bears vs Packers game. Along the way, in Appleton, they picked up my Dad's brother R (a total dick) who happens to be a Packer fan. I'm pretty sure many drinks were consumed before and during the game.

    The Bears won on a last second Bob Thomas field goal. After the game, as my Dad and buddy were walking out, they got hit from behind and stomped by about 8 guys. My Uncle T, the Bears fan, was sitting in a different area but seen what happened. My uncle T proceeded to track down the perpetrators with his friend and smash up their vehicle, breaking the windshield. When Uncle T got back to the car, he obviously wanted to leave right away. But my uncle Dick was nowhere around.

    While they waited, a Bears vs Packers football game started in the parking lot. Tackle football, using a thermos as a football, playing on concrete.

    Eventually my uncle Dick showed up. "Where were you?". "I was looking for a fight. We only get 5 games a year up here (Milwaukee got 3 Packer games back then)."

    As they were leaving, they got stopped by the Green Bay police in the parking lot. When they all stepped out of the car to be identified by the guy who got his car smashed up by my uncle, the guy looked at them and said they weren't the ones who did it.

    My old man is hard nose old school, but he missed work the next two days. The only time I ever remember him missing work. Him and his friend took a total ass kicking. He got stomped bad. Almost his entire back was black and blue.

    My old man claims football isn't as important to him anymore since he retired, but he still knows everything that's going on. He didn't watch a few games last year because he hated Lovie and thought they were going nowhere with that offense.

    This weekend I'm going to convince my Dad and Mom to start watching every Bears game again. The Bears now have a chance because they have an OC.

    Unfortunately, my Mom is still a bit of a closet Packer fan. She grew up with all Packer fans. She will only wear Bears clothes, but I know she still has an affinity for the Packers, unlike me, my brother, sister, and Dad.

    It makes for an interesting family dynamic. My brother in law and sister in law, who are both totally cool, are fucking Packer fans. Me, my brother, and Dad trained my younger sister right. She is a die-hard Bears fan. She was at the Championship game against Green Bay too, and was totally pissed off after the outcome. She hardly talked to her husband for a while after the loss. When you walk into my sister's house, there is a rug that says "A house divided". One half of the rug is a Bears emblem, and the other half is a Packers emblem.

    I could write at least 20 pages about the dynamics of the Bears vs Packers rivalry around here. It's a big deal. It's more important than religion.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    The problem with this 'tradition' is that's now outside the law. It's out of control. People are getting killed at Raider games. I went to a Broncos game where I saw a Raider fan get held down and took a tire iron to the face.

    Brawls have turned into stabbings, stabbings into shootings and the whole drunk rowdy thing is beyond the limit.

    Last Bears game I was at, I saw somebody walk down to the first row railing and whip something, looked like a full can, at Robbie Gould's head when the guy, who was screaming "HEY ROBBIE", was being ignored. Security dragged him out.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I went to a Bears game in Cleveland in 05 (?). I had to walk about a mile from the municipal parking area to stadium. I was wearing a simple Bears hat. As I passed in front of a parking deck, a full can of beer exploded in front of me on the sidewalk. It missed the top of my head by about 10 inches. The asshole that threw it was on the 3rd floor of the parking structure. An unopened beer can to the skull from 40 feet up could so some pretty serious damage. I walked the rest of the way to the stadium with my hat in my coat. Not worth it.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think the whole Raiders persona thing is way overblown. I went and saw the Bears play against em that 1st game Hanie started, before we all knew he sucked. Anyhow I didnt have a single issue. Wore all my gear, sang the fight song and had a blast. As I've said before though the Niners games have been nothing but a disaster every time. People chucking glass bottles at people, getting in peoples faces, trying to jump people in the bathrooms. It's just stupid. On one hand I hate the high ticket prices and overabundance of luxury suites but at the same time the thugs need to be priced out of the market.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Wow ... and alcohol remains legal.

  • I hit the trifecta last night. I got damn near perfect seats at a fantastic venue to see arguably the best live band in the world right now. And the show was announced on Monday. I defy anyone, no matter what music genres you like, to listen to this song, especially the last 3 minutes, and not be moved by it in some way.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wVWjl9Kq6U

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Nice. Really nice.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    You just sais "listen to the last 3 minutes" which tells me all I need to know about this band. lol
    And it sounds like a female fronted Van Morrison cover band. Which isnt exactly a bad thing.

  • I said, "ESPECIALLY the last three minutes".

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    That man is a guitar player.

  • There's a video on YT of him playing with Duane Allman when he was 13!

  • Cornelius Washington is my favorite new football name. It's perfect.

  • I can get good seats to see the Eagles at United. Not sure how I feel about going.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm01-BGOjHk

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I priced a pair and they were like $450 and they were at the far end. I like the Eagles, just dont like em for $450!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    fuck the eagles murph.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    It's the "Greedy Bastards" tour!

  • In reply to gpldan:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-vwPuiILBc

  • shaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyy: http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c4#/video/us/2013/05/01/tsr-moos-fat-weiner-dog-surgery.cnn

  • I posted this in he wrong thread.

    I could tell you guys a hundred stories about how my buddies and I use to sneak into Soldier Field in the late 80's early 90's prior to the space ship renovation.

    We acted liked we owned it. Got there early. Froze our asses off. Hung out in the tunnel below the stands.

    Some of the highlights:

    Rolled grapefruits (that we drew # 72on ) @ Dexter Mannely after Ditka said he had the IQ of a grapefruit.

    I once simultaneously slapped Wilbur on the back of his shoulder pads and told him to keep his head up. (He was very pissed)
    Gave Sweetness a thousand high fives. (as well as samurai, mcMichael, Hampton, Fridge, McMahon)
    Snuck onto sideline and borrowed a chew (Copenhagen) from some kicker on the Packers, and I didn't even chew. (I was ripped and saw he had it, so I asked.)
    Asked Mike McCaskey for a loan.
    Used the "next time you go to the beach get out of the car" line to Brent Musberger and Irv Cross because their make-up looked soo awful.
    Saw Montana crush us.
    Saw the fog bowl.
    Routinely snuck into the press/media lunch room and indulged on a crapload of free food.
    Two of my buddies hitchicked down to LA and snuck into Super Bowl XX. (I was playing in a hockey Tournament in Canada that weekend).

  • In reply to Viva:

    Viva, something tells me you and I would get along.

  • I do love living.

  • I was listening to Cowherd the other day and he was talking about the group mentality of men. He said when dudes are alone they are pretty smart, but when they get into groups their IQ's diminish.

    I'm that guy. I will triple dog dare you until you do it.

  • In reply to Viva:

    cab-van surf? Air blowjob WHILE cab/van surfing?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I got 80 hours of community service for blowing an M-80 off in my aeronautics class my jr year of high school. When I attempted to throw it out of the window (we were on the 3rd floor) I missed and it literally landed right in front of me.

    I yelled jump....and BOOM.

    To this day, my friends make me tell that story whever we get together. Dumb ass.

  • In reply to Viva:

    A kid would be in the clink if he pulled that shit today.

  • In reply to Viva:

    I set up a zipline across the Chicago River (read: 9 inch deep stream filled with AIDS) like fucking Tango and Cash and the tree at the top of the riverbank broke in half and i fell 20 fee straight down onto my back narrowly missing paralyzing rocks and AIDS inducing used condoms and hypdermic needles.

  • fuckin tree!

  • In reply to Viva:

    Ha! Love a good explosives story... here's one....

    in HS we had this crazy chemistry teacher. Every year he'd do this demo in his class by blowing up a pumpkin on halloween. It wasn't a big deal and he'd use some shitty/small explosive. Everyone would laugh and clap as the lid came off 1/4 inch and smoke came out of the eyes after the tiny 'pop'. Yaaaaay!

    Well, my senior year, he did it as usual... i was in the class right across the hall. In maths class actually... my favoritists of all classes (yay maths!).

    Well, that year he fucked up (or did it on purpose... I never found out) and put in WAAAAY too much explosive. We were doing word problems or some other torturous shit, and fucking BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

    The fucking windows rattled and the doors shook. We ran across the hall and his entire class was still just sitting there frozen in shock with mouths agape. He'd fucking obliterated that pumpkin, which was splattered into a billion pieces throughout the entire room.

    He got into trouble, but every time I asked him about it (we became friendly because I took his son under my wing a bit in football), he’d just smile and change the subject. It was fucking awesome. He became a legend at La Jolla High. I think he got sick of people shitting on his ‘lame pumpkin stunt’.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Wonder if he got community service?

  • In reply to Viva:

    hahahahaha... doubt it.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That's my boy.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Why do i always end up air blowing dudes when i drink too much?

  • Hahahahahaha... I still have the pic on my phone... as murky and dificult to see as it is, the actual event is as lucid in my mind as this screen.

    I THINK your identity might be preserved by the turrible condition of the photo.

    Doc was a lucky man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    that was the best fucking burger i've ever had by the way. Remember how Rabbit kept staring it down and licking his lips like a hungry cockslut?
    He had that tiny, sad little seafood salad. I had to give him half of my burger. I was full from the dirty ass bond martinis anyway.

  • That burger was fucking phenomenal.

    As, I'm sure Doc will attest, were the gymnastics you were performing in the van.

  • I can't speak to the burger, but the air guitar version of Debbie Blows Doc was spectacular.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Hahahaha... yeeees, I doooo.

    I thought he was going to get up and go spit in those packer fans food right then and there... and I would have loved it.

    Seafood salad... pussy.

    Do you remember our bartender at my hotel btw, and the way she effortlessly blew off my clumsy attempts to get her interested in me? Man she was exotic/hot/sexy.

    Sniff.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    yes, she was Irish, Native American, Asian and I think she spoke Spanish.

  • In reply to Viva:

    You can die a happy man Viva! A fellow fogbowler huh?

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Hell yeah Murph. That was a fun game to be at. 1988.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Here you go Murph...memory lane:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLdGCHUbMCY

  • In reply to Viva:

    You saw about as much of the fog bowl as I did on TV Viva. Mwah! Did they give folk their money back for that? Maybe the Bears were on the pitch, maybe they weren't ...

  • pitch... wrong sport mate.

  • THIS is the state of boxing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdZ_8EsRfNc

    Jesus.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    not to get off off off topic.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Boxing is determined by heavyweights. It's the glamour division.

    And right now, the top 4 are a pair of Russians, the Klitschkos, a German and a Pole.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Was that you that posted the Don King article? It was excellent. What an asshole and a bullshitter.

  • Stop the video at 4:17 and advance to 4:18

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUmhg5t3LbY

    I actually think Dave Krieg was so intimidated by the 46 he fumbled before he was hit.

    Never noticed that before.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    fuck man. I would give anything to have a year like that again. Fuck me.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    fucking miami man. fuckers. I fucking hate the dolphins.

  • Hmm, Bears stories. Went a Bengals game in 1980 and would have frozen my ass of it not for the eight or so Hueblein Bocce Balls before going in. Bears lost 17-14 in OT or so I was told as I didn't wake up until Tuesday morning and the last thing I really remember is early 1st quarter.

    Invited to a party by a guy I worked with who was a friend of Walter Payton's when he lived in Arlington Heights. Walter wasn't there but a couple other Bears were along with Connie Payton, a six year old Jarrett and his nanny. Got thrown out by the hostess after my crazy drunk girlfriend cornered Connie and demanded she get rid of the nanny as she was some sort of Caribbean voodoo queen and was putting the mojo on the kid.

    Keith Van Horne had a serious case of the hots for one of my sisters and spent a goodly amount of time trying to get somewhere with her. No go, though.

    Tom Hicks (the guy who Mike Singletary replaced) became a floor broker at the CME immediately after and used to come over to chat up a girl who worked next to me. We used to talk quite a bit but mostly about the markets, not football.

    Oh yeah, got a couple of negative Jim McMahon stories involving a sister and brother but I think I've posted them before.

    There's a few others but I'll have to ruminate on it for a while...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    The Payton kids had a Voodoo queen nanny. That's a new one.

  • you can't be fucking serious. THIS is why the religious right is such a fucking joke. How can you take them seriously with shit like this.

    http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/05/02/ex-nfl-players-support-for-gay-nba-player-apparently-costs-him-church-appearance/?hpt=hp_t3

    Turn the other check indeed. Hurumph!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    They come up a little short when it comes to helping the poor. Not exactly Christ-like.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Ha!

    A packer joke... well played sir!

  • Haha. Send the damn message, maing. Do you know the count? You do not.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rVFp4cfQeQ

  • In reply to gpldan:

    you never go full-retard man

  • This is my best Bears story from Soldier Field. My buddies and I drive to Soldier Field (3 hour drive) in 1977. They have been playing pretty lousy so far (sometime in middle of October). We drink all the way to the game. The first half is dreadful and they are down 17-0. We're all hammered and totally depressed. We discussed leaving at half time but decide to watch part of the 3rd Quarter. The Bears come to life. Walter Payton makes the greatest run in his career (IMO). He ends up scoring 3 TD's and runs for 192 yds on 33 carries. Late in the game Bob Avellini hits Greg Latta for a 37 yd TD. The Bears beat the Chiefs 28-27. Fucking Awesome. We drink all the way home singing Bear Down Chicago Bears. Great Times!

    If you've seen the clip of Payton's run, he literally broke 6-8 tackles. It didn't go for a TD but it was a crazy run. I think it went for 32 yds. The place was nuts.

    I used to love to go to the games and sneak beer in. The guys at the gate truly didn't care. I walked in and the guy said you can't bring that in here. I say "what"? He points to a beer that's sticking out of my jacket pocket. I take it out of my pocket and you can clearly hear about 4-5 cans clinking together. He takes the 1 beer and says "Go on, get out of here". BOO-YAH!

  • Is that the run they had down for Walter on the greatest play in NFL history? May favorite run too. If I had to show somebody just one of his runs, that would be the one.

    Blog trivia - no peeking :

    Name professional football's all-time passing yards leader ....

  • Warren Moon?

  • Guys, i'm a huge Joe Anderson fan but I think we picked up a potential stud in Marquess WIlson in the 7th round. We took a gamble because ... uh...you know, he's a total dickface but he could grow up and be a great 4th or 5th receiver. It's hard to be a douche when guys like Marshall, Jeffrey and Bennett are there to show you how to be a pro.

    Then we picked up an UDFA in Mark Harrison who may or may not have pissed and shit all over his hotel room at the combine. regardless, the guy is a beast and is fast as balls.

    This camp is going to be silly with talent. Silly Jerry, silly.

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