Me, Myself & the NFL Draft

Me, Myself & the NFL Draft

I am asked, starting around...oh...October, who I'd like to see the Bears select in the first round of the coming NFL Draft. I not only don't answer the question then  but I don't answer the question now. The truth is this. Barring a few players here and there I've fallen in love with over the course of their collegiate careers, I don't really care who the Bears select in the draft.

I did, when I was a kid. When I was thirteen years old I remember turning in my blue and white pinstriped Little League baseball uniform to John Cali - one of the only other Bears fans I knew in the world - and exclaiming with joy on a late Saturday morning, "We drafted Rashaan Salaam!" We did. The Bears did. I don't really remember a moment in his career bringing me anywhere near the joy of that moment at the north field at Gunnell Oval in Kearny, NJ.

The whole of the NFL cares passionately about the draft until about three days after the draft. Then - unless your team has made a significant veteran talent trade or selected a quarterback in the early rounds - the entire football media realizes the selections made over the final weekend in April will not drastically impact the upcoming season. Even solid performers like Trent Richardson, Doug Martin, Bruce Irvin and Chandler Jones were not defining factors for their clubs over the whole of 2012. Everyone fixates over the pending rookies until they actually become rookies. Everyone fixates over rookies until they hit the rookie wall.

And I hate the new format for the event. Draft weekend used to be the football connoisseur's binge weekend. We'd cut football into thin white lines on a mirror and bury our noses in it.

Two full, long days. Now we not only have speculation an analysis on the lead-up to the overall draft, we have speculation and analysis (none of which matters) before and after rounds one, two and after each of the weekend days.

I like the draft because I like to watch how teams approach it. I am far more interested in what positions team target than in which players they select. Will the Packers attempt to add more weapons for Aaron Rodgers? Will the Vikings be attempting to replace Percy Harvin? Will the Lions ever attempt to add good players to their secondary? The players are a guess. An educated guess, sure, but a guess nevertheless. The positions tell you everything.

But fans love the NFL and anything NFL-related draws interest. I can't complain. Thursday-Sunday will see my Twitter gain followers and this blog gain readers. But as an event, it just doesn't excite me anymore. Maybe it's this guy's fault.

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Tags: Chicago Bears, NFL Draft


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  • First amigos!

    Even though many of those players were not defining factors for their teams.. They still caused problems for other teams. Wouldn't hurt to have some players, hell just a player, like that.

  • I agree with Jeff that position and draft round tells you more than reading about the actual player. But I disagree that the info ends there.

    Examples: Drafting Minter vs. Ogletree vs. Teo tells you a lot about what style of player the Bears are looking for at MLB. Likewise taking Cooper or Warmack for interior linemen.

    Also, if you draft a Brandon Hardin and a Shea McLellin, then you know that Emery is willing to take some risks with players with a history of injury. If you draft an Alshon Jeffery and maybe this year a Tyron Mathiu, you see that Emery is willing to make bets on players with character concerns. Put all four of those together, you see a definite drafting style from the GM.

    Plus there's the trades, those are interesting. When we traded up for Jeffery, there were all sorts of questions about why Emery gives up so many picks when he's supposed to be a draft guru. Similar discussions will certainly abound this year if we trade back from #20.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    What character issues was Alshon alleged to have? Some BS from the DBs at BR?

    (DBs = douchebags, not defensive back btw)

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I think it was work ethic, due to the evident extra weight he was carrying in college. Plus he got himself ejected from a bowl game vs. Nebraska I believe.
    All water under the bridge.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I was thinking of the fight with Alfonso Dennard. But the weight was also an issue.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Funny how that worked out in terms of "character issues"...
    Dennard was a punk, and remains a punk. Par for the course at my 2nd least favorite Big10 school.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Gee, yet another example of the privileged having a much different legal system than the rest of us.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Emery probably missed an opportunity when Dennard was still on the board in the 7th round last year. He's doing minimum jail time and it sucks the Pats got him. Dennard would have filled a need we still have going into this year's draft. I can't remember the names of the two corners we drafted late last year or if they are going to stick. He was projected as a late first rounder early second before he slugged a cop. Just a heads up, Mike Brown is also from your least favorite Big 10 school.

  • In reply to Cutty:

    Our 6th round pick (Isaiah Frey) made the team and is contributing on specials. Not a standout at cornerback, but he might break in to some playing time this year.

  • In reply to Cutty:

    2nd to least favorite (nobody trumps Penn State at this point), and I'm well aware of where Brown played his college ball. I can probably tell you lots about the Huskers since I spent, oh, 16 years living there.
    Dennard is still a dick.
    No way were the Bears taking him anyway while LDL was here.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Right 2nd least. LDL = Smith I assume? I don't know much about Dennard other than he's a good corner. Why the hate for the Huskers? I've always respected the Big Red as a blue collar team that used to run the ball to win. Maybe you have some insight to the program.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Minter vs. Ogletree vs. Teo, and what it says

    Minter: Guy who is football smart
    Ogletree: Guy who knows trouble
    Teo: Guy who got Tuiososoppo'ed

  • Poor Uma. She's gonna get needled soon.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Yeah but not before that $5 milkshake:

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    That's nothing. I just returned from the Pet Expo in the O.C. and ate an $8 pretzle!

  • I hope the pretzel serenaded you before you ate it. Pretzels at oktoberfest were 4 euros and they were the size of a mans face.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    tell me about the breasts DY, the breasts... were they also the size of a man's face?

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    The Pretzle was a "pizza pretzle" so yeah, it was as big as your face. Also, it costed $1 more for a dip, so it could have been a $9 pretzle.

    That's essentially paying $9 for a slice of bread, cheese and peperoni.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    I don't care. I'd still do her.

  • In reply to SC Dave:


  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Aw man, you shot Marvin in the face ...

  • Here's to Emery being the NFL equivalent of Winston Wolfe.

    "Sheeeeeeit, negro. That's all you had to say!"

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    So far, PE has been very Un-Winston. Hope that changes this year.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Emery has actually been better in FA than the draft.

    Marshall for two 3rds is highway robbery. Just look at what Seattle gave up to the Vikes for Harvin.

    Bush is a good HB, though did anyone figure out what happened with him last year? Anyhow, Bush had to be signed incase Forte pulled a Revis.

    Campbell - still a good QB, and still better than Hanie - just not against the 9ers.

    Black Unicorn - Best TE on the market since he can block, and we got him cheaper than Cook.

    Bushrod. Webb HAD to be replaced two years ago at LT, and Bushrod was probably a safer option than Long, though with less upside.

    DJ Williams. Got a better, faster Lach for half the price.

    Alshon to me is the only player I feel good about in the draft. Everyone else I'll get a much better idea of this year.

  • Definitely agree on that last part! It's time for McClellin, Rodriquez and Hardin to show us a decent level of improvement.

  • Shouldn't it be Me, Myself and the NFL Draft? Not my.

    Also, nice Enis crack.

    Now, here's Curtis rolling as a bobby. Enjoy.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    His post is like a big wet blanket. Curtis Enis, Rashaan Salaam? Thanks, for that... Angelo is fucking gone bro, get excited. Jebus.

  • Maybe Jeff's just burnt out cuz I'm pumped like Arnold "Pumping Iron"! 4 days, ladies. Then, it's pretty much nothing through the sweaty days of summer.

    Living through the Angelo regime has conditioned us like a Pavlovian dog to not get too excited, and it's not as if Emery blew us away last year with Shea, Hardin and E-rod.

    But this year, a whole new coaching staff that is offensive oriented will be in Emery's ear (first time ever in Bears history), and I for one am very hyped as to how it'll unfold.

  • Well, I love the NFL draft, the free agency period, training camp, off season workouts, minicamps, preseason and the regular season.

    Why? I love the smell of the grass, the roar of the bourbonais crowd,the spectre of improvement, the building of momentum, the establishment of the team, the excitement of new puzzle pieces being assembled into an existing framework on the cusp of greatness...

    If that makes me a 13yr old then so fucking be it.

  • You should spend the offseason working on James Harden facial hair stylings.
    When I come back to town for Packer week, I would really, really enjoy seeing how that works out.

    I'm honestly just putting my mind in a zen state for the draft. Not too high, not too low. I love our roster right now and believe that what will be, will be.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Other than the Oline, I'm pretty happy with the roster too.

  • The Chicago Sun Times anticipates the Bears using Martellus Bennett as a "versatile, pass-catching threat" in Marc Trestman's offense.
    Bears TEs coach Andy Bischoff wants to use Bennett to create mismatches as opposed to running flat routes. He's going to be a seam stretcher in Trestman's pass-happy attack. Bischoff also praised Bennett for his study habits. "He’s a student," said Bischoff. "He’s writing everything down. He’s asking questions. He wants to be coached. Really, in every possible way, he’s been a joy."

    Alshon Jeffery trained at the Fit Speed Athletic Performance facility in Weston (FL) for six weeks this offseason, beginning in mid-February.
    Jeffery had conditioning concerns coming out of South Carolina and got injured twice as a rookie, so it's a good sign that he's enjoying a diligent offseason. Jeffery showed up to the facility at 225 pounds with 11-12 percent body fat. He left at 219 with eight percent body fat. Jeffery will return to Fit Speed in mid-June for a second round of workouts before training camp. He's a 2013 breakout candidate.


  • Oh god, I think you just gave Yonny the opposite of a fear boner.

    btw $, was in OC at fasion island last week. Deeeeum dude, hot bishes everywhere. I was very impressed.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    What in DEE world were you doing at the OC fashion island MB!? lol I can't imagine you there for some reason. It's basically a bunch of "kept" hot women from the O.C. and their spoiled jail-bait daughters shopping and sipping mimosas at that place.

  • Martellus might be the biggest new asset to us this year. Big, athletic, good hands. Looks distinctly non-Olsen like. Cutty will find him a lot. Looks like we could go to war already with the line, the draft will just be putting cherries on top.

  • You mean non-Spaeth/Davis, like...

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:


    Olsen was as pretty good receiver for us.

  • I don't care how much conditioning you do, you're not gonna be able to prevent a broken hand.

    I hate hate hate people who suggest that conditioning or time in the weight room is the cure-all for injuries--almost as much as I hate when people point to two injuries and say, "INJURY HISTORY" (two data points does not a trend make).

  • All depends on the nature of the injuries. A broken hand and then turf toe is irrelevant, but two consecutive torn pectoral muscles is what I'd call an injury history (Orakpo).

    While that could be blamed on returning too early, he now can be said to have an injury history.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:


  • Oh, and one more position we didn't think we'd have to worry about:,0,6846235.story

    The url will tell you what you need to know.

  • Gould ran a race... the Trib called it an 8K, but that'd be weird. Especially because his time was about 6:04/km, which is damned slow.

    But running 8K would indicate to me that he's getting up to speed. Hopefully he'll start kicking soon. I don't like that it's his plant leg that got messed up.

  • He seemed pretty upbeat (the usual for Gould) in the article. It's a little worrisome but he's got a ton of time yet. I hope he is his old self and the Beloved sign him for another 5 years. Best Bears kicker in my lifetime and that includes Butthead.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Definitely. And if he ain't right, I'll have to get a new jersey. #9 is the one I have.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    We'll be so far ahead point-wise that we'll only need the new kicker to tap over the extra points 7 times a game. Maybe Peanut can do it.

  • 8k is basically a 5-mile race. He ran it at a 9:30 minute split, which isn't great, but coming off of tendon surgery, sounds about right. Like you said, at least he's running.

  • Marshall-Jeffery-Bennett-BlackUnicorn-Eifert?-ERod-Forte

    Eifert would have the Bears looking decidedly Patriot like in the attack.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    If you were a D coordinator you'd be like: "oh fuck"

    I really want to see Forte motion out of the backfield this year bringing a heavily breathing, exhausted OLB out to cover him......

    ruh roh.

  • After some discussion it was decided by all my buddies that I'll be hosting a boys movie night on mondays.

    I'd like to believe it was because of my bubbly disposition, but was told that no, it's actually just because of my 70" TV.

    First movie on the roster:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Not enough for you... oh, ok... fuckface.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Jesus, that is a great scene.

  • you more shredded than a julienne salad man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    You know, I still haven't watched that movie. I was actually compiling a funny movie list, and good comedies are hard to come by. Also, everyone seems to have different sense of humor. Some ppl love Adam Sandler, I however believe he went full 'tard one too many times, and his movies suck (with maybe the exception fo the "Wedding Singer").

  • you're more than welcome to join tonight maings.

    semicolon, close parenthesis.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm already at your door!

    Actually, I'm just gonna sip some beer tonight and catch a basketball game for the first time this year I think.

    You should host a Draft party though. 70 inch TV - Damn! We're all just gonna crash your pad in 3 days.

  • 70" TVs damn. If I had a 70" TV and could hook up foot pedals and a steering wheel for my tanking ... endless supply of weed and a disability pension ... I'd give the kids up for adoption ... buy one of Homer's fat dresses and and I'd be set.

  • Yeah, it was like that for a while. It's pretty ridiculous.

  • Unbelievably, they made a Grown Ups 2. What a sad movie that was. The only Sandler movies I liked were his serious roles. Punch drunk love. Reign over me ... maybe Anger Management. The wedding singer was okay too.

  • Back to football.

    Check this out… then look at the first comment:

  • Well, glad the Bears did their homework on McClain..

  • Aaaaand this is why gay players just need to come out in this modern age of camera phones...

  • wow. well, there it is....

    Oh, and who gives a fuck (no pun).

    Let's play some draft! (shouted in the richard dawson voice)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yup, I don't care. But something like this was bound to happen. I'm actually surprised it hasn't happend sooner. I mean, look at needle dick Farvre and his sexting fiasco.

    I actually think that within the gay community "outing" someone is considered taboo. I think I mentioned b4 that I knew someone who slept with a VERY prominent actor who is not viewed as gay, and this dude could probably make a ton of mula going to the tabloids, but he just keeps it to himself (except to some friends cuz you gottat tell someone).

    But as Shakespeare wrote many years ago, "Hell hath no fury like a dumped twink's scorn..."

  • "You've heard of recovering drug addicts? It takes a lot of courage to stand and say that," he said "To recover from homosexuality and this type of thing. Not only that, coming back to your real life, as hard as a task as that is I'm going to do all that I can to live right." - Tuiossosoppo.

    To recover from homosexuality is like recovering from drug addiction?

    Ronaiah must be a pariah within Somoan culture to be trying to "go straight". News flash, Ronaiah: it won't work. Any number of bible thumpers have already tried that path, it leads nowhere.

    I feel bad for homosexuals in certain cultures. I don't know if the NFL will ever get past the issue, maybe in time, but I don't think that time has come yet.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Among African-Americans being gay is still seen as wrong. I worked with an African American Professor (woman), and she informed me how she can't go out with other African Americans because they're too "macho". I was a bit surprised by that.

    In Cali the demographic who voted to define marriage as strictly between a man and woman was African-Americans. The irony was not lost on many since slave owners used to quote the bible (the Curse of Ham) to deny African-Americans their humanity.

  • Needless to say, this is not ALL african-am like my Prof friend. Anyhow, back to the usual program already in progress...

  • I don't know, they said the same thing about Lyle:

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Ha! Never saw that skit b4. FUNNY.

    Now I know where they got the idea for "Ambigously Gay Duo".

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    A friend of mine was dating this effeminate guy for a while, which I thought was strange. One night, they were at this older gay guys house for his birthday party and everyone was getting really drunk and crashing at his house (big house). Anyways, my friend woke up around 3am and heard some loud noises in one of the bedrooms. She opened the door and saw her boyfriend receiving from the birthday boy. As she walked away in shock, he came running after her crying and said, "I don't know why I do that when I get drunk".

  • A guy I worked with was very openly effeminate.Hand on hip, really acting it up. We all thought he was gay, a few even asked him if he was, but he denied it. Of course the fact he was married 28 years and had 4 kids seemed to verify his hetero-cred. Until the day came when he filed for divorce and "came out" as a very gay man. The guy was a genuinely good dude. Always a good word to say and a great worker. Never one to "hit" on ya or whatever it is they do. My only questions about it (which I shamefully never asked him) were..."At what point in the marriage did he ever think to stop before the kids came about? From what I know, you are either gay or not. You can't "become" gay. Does this type of thing happen alot? How many marriages are a "cover" for fear of being looked down upon and/or bullied over it? Guess I'll never know.

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    let's see....

    tom cruise, pulp fiction,.... supposedly scientology is a big tax shelter for in the closet gay actors. Fuck, who knows maingses... life is often stranger than fiction.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If that's true, that's bloody brilliant. You get a tax break whilst parodying religion. I think I just came up with a script!

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    My guess is the guy always was turned on by guys but got married because that was expected of him. It happens all the time with men and women. I have a few gay friends and they all said they knew it when they were kids.

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    I'm not sure how that works. I knew one guy in college who always had a girlfriend, but one night while drunk he went to a gay bar and loved it. He started going to gay bars all the time, so I asked him what about your girlfriend? He said I don't know, I like girls, but I like guys better. When I graduated, he was still "confused". Never seen him again.

    Another guy I've been friends with since jr. high, Jeff, is what I believe a closet homosexual. He played on the football team for a year, but otherwise was always a little effeminate. He was voted best dressed and friendliest as a senior out of about 600 people. He would hang out with the guys once in a while, but mostly hung out with a lot of hot chicks (but never dated any of them). Whenever I'd meet him or his friends for a drink in college, it was always at a bar that was androgynous (don't know how else to describe). One night after a group of us got drunk, we were all crashing at my buddy's house. Jeff starts trying to tickle me and have a pillow fight! I had to back off and tell him I was not at all comfortable with this situation. I was very nice about it because he's a really cool dude, but it was an awkward situation. He has since married a very petite, flat-chested girl with really short hair, and they have an adopted son. I always predicted he would come out some day, but he hasn't yet. Who knows, maybe they have some kind of arrangement in their marriage, he's still in denial, or I'm totally wrong and he's just effeminate. Whatever the situation, he'll always be a friend.

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    Very common in Thailand.

  • this dude here, sporting his Castro look:

    He's a real Minecraft creeper that guy. Yeah, that dude has a little brother, too. His name is Junes.

    Junes lives in Boston. Junes was tweeting heavily with the Brittle Brothers about bombs just prior to their little act out drama.

    I heard MI6 has a guy named Bond that might like this assignment...

  • Best RickRoll.. of all time. ALL TIME!

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Slow clap - hope that guy got an A on the assignment.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That is genuinely impressive. Question is, did he turn it in with or without the highlights.

  • Hey GP,

    0-60 in..... 2.... point.... 9..... seconds.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The LC5 software will get you a 2.7 launch.

    Nothing like ricer tech to make the Italians look silly.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ah back when I was working construction I ate at the roach coach from time to time. One day it was not so kind to me. As I was driving home I suddenly wished my car would go from 0-60 in 2.9 seconds and 217mph. I barely made it.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Also -


    appears to be this IRL:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    that thing is just silly.

  • Curtis Enis works at a garage door manufacturing company in Ohio. True Story, I cold called him a decade or so ago trying to move his freight. Forgot the name of the company though.

  • When horseface talks shit, he talks shit. Osweiler would be the #1 in this draft? I don't think so.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Jesus, just come out and say it want someone to give you draft picks for Brock Osweiler.

  • "I can kill you in a minute,' and came directly to my testicles.''

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    OUCH!!!!!!!!.........that's going to leave a mark

  • here's one for rabbit:

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • Michael C. Wright
    RT @AdamSchefter: Teams that have made calls about moving back in draft include PHIL, DET, CLEV, BUFF, MIA. Doing what they should.

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    A Browns-Chargers swap seems likely.

  • I don't have cable, but if I did, I would watch 30-for-30 tonight.,0,1026837.story

  • In reply to gpldan:

    30... years... ago... fuck man. I was 10.

    damn Django... getting old sucks.

    (saw Django last night with the crew btw... yes, we made a quick change from tropic thunder... it was fucking awesome. Christopher Waltz is a master. Jamie fox was really good too)

  • Hey Doc... we are now armed with... mighty joint!

  • Pretty moving actually:

    Then, there was this:


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