Emery Moves on From 54, Rebuilds Linebacking Corps

Emery Moves on From 54, Rebuilds Linebacking Corps

It didn't take Phil Emery a week. Less than a week after he and the whole of the Chicago Bears organization saluted and celebrated the career of Brian Urlacher in a lengthy press release, the GM has reloaded the club's trademark strength and added a pair of veteran linebackers in free agency.

DJ Williams will "replace" Urlacher in the middle of the defense. Williams, coming off a season where PEDs and team suspension kept him off the field for more than half the year, possesses tremendous athleticism and speed. As we enter what will hopefully be the twilight of the read-option in the NFL, Williams' ability to go sideline-to-sideline will be pivotal in limiting the kind of success Russell Wilson had the end of Bears v Seahawks in December. (I'm still haunted by that half hour. It seemed to be three days long.) Even if the Bears brought Urlacher back into the fray in 2013 there was no way they could rely on his knees to hold up against this new generation of speedy quarterback.

Can Williams keep his head on straight? That is the bigger question.

James Anderson missed time in 2012, as well, but his absence was due to injury not the intake of enhancement drugs. From Brad Biggs:

Anderson, 29, finished sixth in the NFL in tackles in 2011 with 145 and was a cap casualty in Carolina earlier this month, two years after he signed a five-year, $22 million contract with $8.5 million guaranteed. He set a Panthers record with 20 tackles in a game against the Giants last season and holds the team record with 94 games played at linebacker. Of his 53 starts, 44 came on the strong side.

"I am just reaching my peak right now," Anderson said. "I am definitely still in my prime. This is the best I have felt at this point in the offseason in years. I feel like I am on my way up."

Anderson, 6-foot-2, 235 pounds, was hampered by shoulder and back injuries last year and missed the final four games.

"I had a chance to have some time off and all is well, all is healed up," he said. "I had some tightness and some other issues with the lower back, but it was nothing that is going to be an issue going forward. I feel great."

Anderson will replace Nick Roach on the strong side.

These two signings only slightly alter Emery's approach to the position in the draft, however. Both Williams and Anderson are one-year rentals in the middle of the defense and Emery must get the Bears younger at the position. What the signings afford him is the ability to attack the LB position at his own discretion. He does not need to draft a starter in 2013. He would like to draft one for 2014.


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  • Who was that LB we had like 4 years ago who had 20+ tackles in a game filling in for Briggs (I think)?

    The guy everyone gushed about for a month and promptly forgot about?

    Jamar Williams?

    The fact I can't remember his name doesn't necessarily mean anything, but it sure gives me the feeling that he really was a one game fluke...

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Jamar Williams, career ending injuries derailed a nice solid career.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Then they signed Tinoismoa who was constantly beset by injury.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Pisa was awesome when he was healthy. It is no accident that he played 10 games in the season we went to the NFC Championship game. That knee was shredded in 2009 in the game that Urlacher went down. Great player, terrible luck.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:


  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Jamar got a spinal injury before he really got going, that's rough. The worst thing is, Carolina were going to cut Chris Harris anyway, but Angelo gave them Jamar for him instead. Genius. Had he done the savvy thing and waited for Harris to be cut, he gets his safety for free and Jamar doesn't get his career ended. Maybe.

  • And that, kids, is a true story.

    Jerry took a guy with starting cred and gave him up for a player who was ABOUT TO BE CUT.

    Jamar did get the injury bug in the Panther's camp, but that's just bad luck.

  • Cooper and Warmack are climbing, up up and away. WalterFootball's new draft has Warmack at 10. A guard at 10, one that might start on PUP? I think we can now label this a weak draft.

    So, you are Phil and you have a few guys on your list open:

    DJ Fluker
    Menelik Watson
    Justin Hunter
    Arthur Brown
    Desmond Trufant

    Who do you take?

    I think you gotta go Fluker, go into camp working Carimi out at RG and Louis out at LG. But Hunter is very, very appealing, esp. if we let Hester go, which I think we will.

    But I have real concern about Fluker and his ability to pass protect. Carmini was a disaster at pass protect, and we already had one guy move into guard, and I see Fluker possibly making the move inside. But can you risk Watson and his physical gifts?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    The thought of getting a first round OL pick is very appealing to me. I get scared of Fluker's weak upper body but he has talent no doubt. I can't see the Bears going for WR with the other needs that are more glaring.

    GP, look at this fucking monster. Imagine what would happen if he was developed for a couple of months at the pro level.


    I disagreed with New Bear on getting a DE this draft but I could get behind a pick like this. #UPSIDE #1stDeathOnField

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    You could call him 'White Pepper'

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Some men and just physically superior to other men. I want those men on the Bears. I don't care how raw he is. He's not a workout warrior. He's just a fucking physcial specimen delivering pain and suffering like Jimmy Johns.

    White Pepper.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Even the kind of physically superior men who can jump out of pools?

    You want those guys?

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:


    how bout guys who can bench 225 49 times?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    lol, they still have to be competent football players.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:


  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Please god no... not another fucking DE in the first.

    Who the fuck does this dude play for, the fucking calgary stampeed?!


    Let's not count cooper out just yet gents. there's a loooootta green between now and the draft.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I have the Bears going first pick OL and 3rd or 4th pick OL. That DE would pop off Rodgers head like a dandelion. ping!

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Ok, no youtube here. What is this guy's name?

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Margus Hunt. He's a certified caveman.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    82 inch wingspan of death.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Not since 1982 have two OGs been drafted before #20. It's a very rare occurence, but this draft is the weakest at the top in years. When was the last time the top 5 has been in flux this much?

    We're actually at a great spot. We can get a blue chip player, esp at CB, DT, S, WR, TE.

    Unfortunately, those aren't our highest needs, but Emery seems intent on going BPA or trading down and getting a starter, not necassarily a stud, at a need (LB, OG, C).

    I too am on record on not trusting Fluker (esp at 20). His pass blocking is a liability. He's got loooong arms, like 36', but slow feet.

    Trufant reminds me of Peanut. Xavier Rhodes is another big jam CB. Hunter is compared to Moss (both good and bad. Doesn't really work the middle). Aurthur Brown seems like the "safest" ILB, but he's a midget and only like 235 soaking wet. How would he hold up against the 9er/Hawk line? Vs Peterson twice a year?

  • Actually, if you think we could get a blue chip Corner, that might not be a bad idea. He could play nickle and back up Peanut and Jennings where we have no depth other than Frey and Bowman

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    we have Tillman, Jennings, Bowman, McMannis as far as I know and need 1 to 2 more for depth.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    We have Peanut, but for how long? He's 32, and Emery seems in no hurry to re-sign, restructure, or extend his contract. It's VERY rare for a team to be able to afford TWO PB CBs (unless one is on a rookie contract). It's ironic that the Cover-2 doesn't need stud CBs, and here we have two which might become too expensive.

    If we draft CB in the first (Trufan, Rhodes), that might tip Emery's hand.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    That's the thing, if a top CB is there you've got to remember Peanut's age. You know he's top of Emery's airlock-list with Garza and Pep.

    DE isn't a reach either. Izzy is 52. Wooten or Shea could be anything, Pep is human and older also.

  • Everytime I think I know who we should take and I say don't take a WR I then watch this lunacy:


    Tavon Austin. WTF?

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    A burner's burner.

    Has a Ted Ginn vibe about him.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I like that he plays WR, RB, KR, etc.

    My only fear is that first couple of tackles when a Haloti Ngata drives him into the ground. Would he disintegrate? Would a big guy even get a clean shot on him? Would he be a guy that would get salty if he didn't get the ball enough in his eyes?

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Now that's the million dollar question. We have all seen what happened to Hester when he took a hit.

    I'd like him at #20 and would have no problems fitting him right in. We them have to manage our WRs if that's the case (never thought I'd be saying that!).

    Marshall, Jeffrey, Austin, Bennett, Anderson, Weems. Guess we could roll with that but it might result in Anderson being put back on the PS.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Austin is FEARLESS.

    On top of all his insane athleticism, he's got a Steve Smith attitude.

    He boldly declared himself the best WR in this draft, then went into the combine and ran a 4.3 and put up 14 reps of 225 (which is more than some DEs) to go with his 1200 yds recs/12 TDs and 600 yds rushing 3 TDs , 900 yds KR/PR 3 TD senior season.

    Ginn's college stat isn't even in the same stratosphere.

    Receiving 700 yds, 9TDs
    Rushing 17 yds
    KR/PR 700 yds, 2 TD.

    Just youtube Austin and see how he terrorized defenses by himself. He toyed with them.

    Then ask yourself, "who on the Pack, Lions, 9ers, Seahawks is going to line up with him?"

  • once again, and prolly not for the last time.... your qb needs to be upright and not concussed in order to get a guy like that the ball before he can go all steve smith on anyone $.

    but you know this... maAAN!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Two yd slants and bubble screens don't take long!

    But yeah, I generally agree with building the lines first. If Warmack and Cooper are gone though, and we can't trade down, then what?

    This is a very possible scenario.

    Maybe I just like giving myself an excuse to check out Austin highlights (bwhhahah).

  • Not Brian Urlacher.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I saw a lot of a small, fragile man running hard. I didn't see any circus catches which would suggest he doesn't make them, which suggests he doesn't necessarily have great hands. The kind of hands required to catch Cutler bullets, or balls that are not dropped neatly into his arms.

    Would be nice to have a Willie Gault to go with The Beast. This guy looks really small though. He might be Dennis Gentry without the hands.

  • If you're not seeing nice catches in the highlight video, it's a clear indication he does not make them.

  • You did read about the Bears' intention to use the read option, right Jefe? Sounds very sensible given the players we have now. Single coverage outside on Brandon Marshall. If they double cover him they can't cover the read-option with 8 men in the box. It also means we'd be basically running zone blocking on the run game, which has to get anyone hard. Forte won't be able to stop and stutter behind the LOS anymore - he gets permission to make one cutback at the most. That's it. No dancing around like a tit, you hit that hole and you're gone.

    Emery's hitting every ball out of the park .... it's just a shame he hit a baby in the face with the Urlacher ball. He deserved a little bit of respect after thirteen seasons.

  • read the article yonny posted last thread maings. Dude got pleeeeeenty of respect. He's the asshole, not the bears.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    yup, that douche is going to sign with a team for less money than the Bears offered him a la Kreutz. Fucking unbelievable. He should fire his agent and his agent should fire himself because the agent cost himself the millions in endorsements that Lach would get in the final year with the Bears. I don't think Tom Condon is crying in the poorhouse though. He's got some of the biggest clients in the game and Urlacher is making the least so why would he even pay attention to poor Brian. Oh, he didn't and that's why he got the shittiest advice ever.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    What if it's Minny or GB? You know he'll be looking for that. I always blame the agents. If it was just the player sitting down with the boss then a deal would have been done. They rang him up, said take it or leave it, he responded with his back up against the wall ... and the press releases were all fired out. Thanks for the thirteen years now fuck off.

    Rodgers was quick enough to point out we fucked up. I bet Brian makes the Pro Bowl this year in a Vikings uniform. We should get Henderson off them.

  • You've got to be fucking kidding me Irish. Rodgers is somehow the voice of reason about our roster moves? Read the article, at no time did he mention that it was a mistake to let him go. He also said the same thing about Woodson. What was he supposed to do man, say that Brian's a liability on defense now and teams with agile TE's can rape the middle of the field like they did all last year against him?

    I will bet you my fucking house and car that Brian DOES NOT make the pro bowl this year, does not contribute meaningfully to any team and if he does in fact play it will be for a total amount when it's all said and done for LESS than the Bears offered.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    This has "Arrogant Agent looking out for Himself and not his client" written all over it.

  • Ravens lose Kruger (vastly underrated pass rusher) but back fill him with Elvis.

  • Been out boyz....not sure if this got played or not but A.A. retired:

    funny vid


  • In reply to lobotobear:


  • http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/hair-humiliation-led-welker-denver-doc-article-1.1298391

    tee hee. Bostonians will have some fun.

  • On to more pressing matters -

    Has anyone (besides the now obvious "EnderWiggin") ever read Ender's Game?

    If so, are any of the sequels worth checking out?

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Read the Card's entire "Ender" seriers, many are a spin-off of other characters who were are part of Andrew Wiggin's life.

    Speaker for the Dead is the direct sequel for Ender's Game and it is very good. The Xenocide and Children of the Mind start to become a little different than the first two, but you see why it evolves the way it does.

    My absolute favorite is "Ender's Shadow" and it details Ender's best friend, Bean. What is great about the book is that it is written parallel to "Ender's Game" and shows what happens behind the scene at Battle School and how it has led to the some of the events that play out to Ender's decision and behavior.

    There are other books that are more in-depth with Peter and Valentine Wiggin, but their lives are vastly different. I am amazed how many directions Orson Scott Card was able to take this series and he remains to be one of my top favorite sci-fi authors.

  • In reply to burntorangenavyblue:

    I'm with burnt on this one.. Read them all- both directions. The Speaker for the Dead line to read about adult Ender. The Bean books to read about Peter taking over the world. Just out of curious burnt- Do you think Bean's siblings will ever help Miro/Ella/NewPeter figure out the problems with the Decolators?

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Do you think Card will outlive the series, or milk it til the day he dies like Robert Jordan did with his Wheel of Time series, leaving so many unanswered questions?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Depends on who you ask. I personally believe Ender's Game will live in infamy. That being said - I almost feel the whole Bean series (minus Ender's Shadow) is written just to make cash. I'm not saying they are not good books, I really do like them. But they seem like most other books popular nowadays: They are written like screenplays almost! Very little character development, little to no internal conflicts(man vs. self etc), they are just action filled good stories based on characters we love in other books.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Well, the Shadow of the Hedgemon series actually helped me understand politics and world-wide conflicts when I was younger and probably what has gotten me to love history and world events now. Yeah, I believe that some of the storylines are milked out a little bit and some of Card's other books are terrible so he's gotta make money somewhere, lol

  • In reply to burntorangenavyblue:

    good point. Could you imagine growing up in the 80s and reading about the "nets". That single thing impressed me most about card- he knew the world would be connected through hand-held devices, and here we are, ordering every book he writes with our smart phones off of Amazon(or kindle).

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Like the writers of 'Lost' ? Spin a web so devilishly intriguing, leaving the viewer wondering how they will manage to weave it all together and then ..... ass-bang them right at the end by completely jumping the shark.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Just looked up on Wiki that Card has more books out!?! Lol, can't keep up w/ it! Gonna get it ASAP.

  • In reply to burntorangenavyblue:

    One of my earlier screen names was "Bean," in honor of Ty-D-Boy himself. I think I read everything in the series from Enders Game to Enders Shadow (none of the prequels, and none of the sequels after Ender's Shadow, except maybe the Hegemon one, I forget). I forgot most of what I read, but I do remember liking Ender's Shadow.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    yeah, wow. The name "Bean" on this blog was a long ass time ago.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Ha. Longer than I've been here. I was Bean elsewhere.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    oh, I think we had a couple of "Beans" the last 5 or 6 years here.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Has Beans.

    I remember reading Card's short stories in OMNI as a kid - esp, Unaccompanied Sonata & A Thousand Deaths. I remember them fairly well. These neverending epics, though - I forget them even as I'm reading.

    I remember buying book eight (???) in the Wheel of Time series and getting to page 90 before realizing that I had already read it. It was a total piece of shit and I bought it twice.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    "These neverending epics, though - I forget them even as I'm reading. "

    Fkn A. Story is over-rated these days, what happened to writing? I tried to read the Da Vinci Code and had to put the book down after a page or two because the writing was so bad. The movie was fine. The book sold over 50 million copies. Go figure.

    Long live Henry Miller and exquisite prose.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Irish, how about Jack London. He could make a 10-20 page short story feel like you just read a novel.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Totally agree, Irish.

    I have NO problem with books like Da Divinci Code, Interview with a Vampire, Eat, Love, Pray, Harry Potter, etc as long as they're the side dish.

    In fact, I have read Brown, Rice and various authors for Star War books, but I recognize that their function is just ESCAPISM.

    What bothers me is when "fans" begin treating Harry Potter like it's actual literature. There's always a few of those in every Lit Major class who swear Harry Potter is equal to Dante, Cervantes or Shakespeare - with a straight face (Some "Hip" Professors might even integrate the "low brow" into their curriculum).

    It's dessert people, that's all. True literature is the meal. It disturbs and confronts us realities which deeply affect our psyches. It's not easy. As Bloom once accurately explained, "It's an achieved anxiety" or a "difficult pleasure" which can't be read in two sittings in between baking and changing diapers.

  • In reply to burntorangenavyblue:

    I haven't read much sci-fi lately. My reading is down in recent years.
    Remember really enjoying Joe Haldeman's THE FOREVER WAR which, supposedly, Ridley Scott is trying to get produced.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    I only read the first two, but obviously you can get whatever information you need on them from others here.

    A Card series that I read in its entirety was the Alvin Maker books. I liked them, but I've always been more a fantasy than sci-fi guy.

    My favorite sci-fi set (acknowledging that I know next to nothing about the genre) was Red Mars / Blue Mars / Green Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson.

  • Jon Scott back, relegating Webb to swing T.

  • In reply to Shady:

    well that wraps that issue up now don't it.

    Now, re-sign Izzy, a corner and we officially have a stronger defense and offense than we did last year when we were about to go 12-4. This is going to be fun. What little toys do we pick up in the draft?

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Someone to protect or destroy the QB.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Emery and Cliff Stein making it happen this offseason. I have not disagreed with any move so far. I even like the Zibby move at safety. Jonathan Scott back as well. I don't want Webb on this team except for emergency backup duties.

    Watching the draft will truly be fun this year. No trading out of the first round, flexibility to draft playmakers and not because we are actually missing a position.....

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    They have a plan and they stick to it. Hope they are right. We still need G/C in the first rd. We can still suck moose wang next year if we have key injuries or another blah draft with no starters (other than FB). I'm much more cautiously optimistic than you.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I hear you Canada but every team can have those types of injuries. Rodgers, AP, Stafford, Megatron, Cutty, Marshall could get hurt the first game, etc.

    If you look at the improvements that were made in key areas including offensive categories and coaching it is safe to say we have a great chance of being pretty damn effective if we don't suffer catastrophic injuries.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Webb can get the coffees and photocopy stuff.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    OL, OL, BA, BA, BA

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I can get behind that strategy. As long as OL is addressed I don't care if they then go for LB's , CB's , WR's , etc.

    I know it's not a popular opinion but if we address OL sufficiently we should take Te'o if he's still out there. That kid could be a great WIL backer once they throw 10lbs on him. Lance Briggs part deux.

  • In reply to Shady:

    O thank God!

    Scott was solid at RT last year.

    So, I guess Carimi becomes a G? The OG situation is very interesting.

    Louis. Who the hell knows? That inj really derailed his career apparently. Only the Bears know to what extent, but the new regime appears health-risk averse.

    Carimi. Can a 6'7 play OG effectively? DEs bullrushed him, imagine what DTs would do to him.

    Brown. Looked promising in limited action. How much does Emery like him going forward though?

  • Scott is apparently as excited as us about the Emery moves. Winning breeds winning...

    "Looking at Jonathan, he added positively to our group," Emery said. "He helped us win games."

    Webb is currently the favorite to be the Bears' right tackle. But new coach Marc Trestman recently indicated that he was looking forward to him competing against Scott and Carimi.

    "I would say that Jonathan Scott is back in the mix and in position to compete for the right-tackle position," Trestman said.

    Scott told the Bear's website that he had "different options when it came to choosing."

    "But the thing that really excited me the most here is the new people coming in," Scott said. "The people that they acquired in free agency mesh well with the coaching staff, so I feel a good thing is about to happen. I want to be a part of greatness. That's just kind of my whole philosophy and mindset."

    As far as other free agents, the Bears are still believed to be interested in re-signing defensive tackle Israel Idonjie and guard Lance Louis."


  • In reply to Shady:

    I hope he rides the bench like a coat of paint.

  • Had a little look today at some Superbowl odds, and after our off season moves the Bears have dropped from 25/1 (post superbowl) to 33/1. Here's all the teams ahead of us:

    Broncos & Pats @ 7/1
    49ers & Seahawks @ 8/1
    Packers @ 12/1
    Falcons, Texans & Saints @ 16/1
    Ravens & Steelers @ 20/1
    Giants @ 25/1

    and for sake of the division, the Vikes are @ 40/1 and the Lions are 50/1.

    I guess that's probably about right at this stage (other than the Saints, Steelers and Giants), but I'm surprised that our odds have reduced to the same level that they were when we came off the previous 8-8 Hanie inspired disaster.

    Not that I'm complaining, more money for me come February.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    we're 33/1 to win the super bowl? I'm betting that all day long. Seahawks 8/1?? Do they remember how they won 2 of those games that got them into the playoffs? GB and Chicago? Those 2 games could never be duplicated ever again.

    I'm betting asap because putting down 300 on 33/1 is almost free money.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    also, i predict the Seahawks go 8-8 this year.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    They should get to 8 wins given how easy their home schedule will be next year. While they're formidable against any team at home, it certainly helps their cause that they get Bucs, Vikes, Jags, Titans, Saints + div opponents at home. Quite a tough away schedule though.

    I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say 10-6, but I would love to see them choke. Carrol is a fucking tool, and I hate that he's got our number.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    We were 25-1 last year, so we've gone out a lot given our off-season. However, perhaps the books see Urlacher leaving as a tragedy for our defense. Until I see otherwise, I agree. Who's calling the defense on the field now? Can a team rookie get people organized like Brian, or anything close?

    By the bye, we're right behind you Greg.


    Although it's Adebandejo, right?

  • Irish, DJ Williams the 9yr veteran of the Denver Broncos is our middle linebacker. He is a sick athlete, immediate upgrade over the current version of Urlacher and will make you remember what speed and athleticism looks like in the middle of the defense.

  • This post is not about boobs and it's not about free agents. It's about this kid kicking ass, taking names and taking the names of asses he's kicked and neatly summarizing the asskicking into bitesize nuggets of info on the iPhone app he created...in his room...during summer break from school. badass.


  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:



    ...are awesome!

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Have you used the app? Does it really summarize articles similar to the way a human would? Pretty amazing if it does.

    Shouldn't this kid be creating stuff people want, not working for fucking Yahoo?

  • And just like that Barrett Jones goes from the 2nd to the the 4rth...

    "At the end of the season, however, Jones sustained a lisfranc injury against Georgia in the SEC Championship. He finished that outing and played with it versus Notre Dame in the BCS National Championship. The injury prevented Jones from playing at the Senior Bowl and participating in the NFL Scouting Combine. Many in the NFL regard Jones' malady as more complex to come back from than a simple break.

    Scouts told WalterFootball.com that their teams believe Jones won't be ready for the start of training camp and will probably start out his NFL career on the PUP (physically unable to perform) list. Being injured and unable to work out for scouts has definitely hurt Jones' draft stock according to scouts.

    Sources believe that the uncertainty about when Jones will be able to take the field is hurting teams' comfort with drafting him. Scouts said they believe that he could make it into the third round, but could easily be a fourth-round pick."


  • Now, i'd take a risk on him in the 4th rd.

  • :-(

  • In other words, if you want a C to start this year, Cooper in the 1st is the only option left.

    All the other Cs can now be drafted in the 3rd or later, and may not be immediate starters.

    Wouldn't it be interesting though if CB Honeybadger AND Cooper are on the board in the 4rth for the Bears? (slim chance, but can happen).

  • How come no one is discussing thermodynamics? Did Irish's link get lost in the shuffle? I'll repost it, lest we start talking about tits again:

    BBC Horizon - Order and Disorder: Thermodynamics

    Let the discussion commence!

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Looks very interesting. I bookmarked it for this weekend when I've got some time to watch the whole thing. When I was a kid, James Burke's The Day The Universe Changed series really captivated me. Link below to the first episode:


  • In reply to tobijohn:

    It's so good, it somehow transferred itself onto my hard drive in HD. Lots of great visuals (surface of the sun; steam church; etc), interesting back stories on scientists and their discoveries, something about entropy.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Those downloading burglars again?

    The Boltzmann story is very sad.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I had one course on thermodynamics at university and I can easily say that it was one of the most infuriating and fruitless points of my life. Probably didn't help that the lecturer was a cryptic douche ( a cvery clever cryptic douche though) , but that might just be me being bitter again.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    You had cryptic douches? Most my science teachers were bad textbooks. I would have loved to have had a clever cryptic douche.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I'd say at least 50% of my lecturers were of the cryptic douche variety. Most of them cared more about their research than actually helping out their students.

    However I will admit I had one lecturer who was a bad cryptic textbook douche. His lectures consisted of reading 'his' course notes that he had clearly photocopied out of a textbook. Especially fun in a two hour lecture.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Don't be too bitter, you're not alone (see esp. Table 2):


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    That stuff wasn't too bad. Although I would say from my experiences and from friends that the quality of lecturers at my university and theirs wasn't great overall.

    It's a bigger problem in England because of the government's decision to allow universities to charge £9000 a year for a four year course. To be upwards of £36000 in debt and not achieved a decent result because of lack of understanding from lecturers is unfathomable (no excuse for laziness mind). I certainly wouldn't have went to university at that cost, but thankfully in Scotland we get our course fees paid for.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Got to separate the haves from the have-nots. Can't have poor people bettering themselves with stuff like knowledge. Up Scotland!

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Yeah, the thermodynamics, entropy, carbon life forms convo got lost at the tale end of the last thread, but I did check out Irish's links.

    I could listen to Feynmen for hours. I read his book "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynmen" and have had the pleasure of walking on the same campus he's so linked to (Cal Tech). I also dated a girl who lived in a sort of "commune" and to my surprised I found out that the guy who ran it was the very same artist who used to teach Feynmen art, while Feynmen taught him physics. The girl didn't even know who either was.

    Anyhow, more on all that jazz later

    (preview. Carbon based life forms (not just microbes) cannot be because higher life forms require more energy which only oxygen can provide. More on that later...)

  • You mean she's not real?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    hhaha I meant in a carbon heavy atmosphere, using carbon as opposed to oxegen.

    I've been trying to think of any sci-fi aliens which do not need oxegen and am coming up blank.

    I think their was some cyrstalline aliens or something like that in Star Trek.

    I'd have to do more reading on that. Something about it seems askew, though my friend who works with chemicals and the such was adament about it.


    (Also, that girls pretty hot)

  • Actually, I came across this little tid bid which is very illuminating (thank you Yahoo). However, me and my pal were discussing more what sort of "fuel" higher life forms would require, and it was his argument that "higher life forms" need oxegen because only it contains enough energy to sustain it. Sulphur also has a lot of latent energy though not as much, then somewhere down the scale is carbon. It's something that peaks my interest. Must read up on it...

    "However, in most discussions on alternative forms of life, people are talking specifically about naturally occuring life forms which exist at the same level we do in our physical universe. In this case, there are no known life forms which use any alternative biochemistry. All physical organisms known to humans are carbon-based and use water for their suspension medium. That said, there has been much speculation about the possibilities of other chemistries that alien organisms might use. The most realistic proposals are merely for alternative suspension media; it has been proposed that carbon-based life forms might exist which use ammonia (NH3), methane (CH4) or hydrogen fluoride (HF) instead of water as a suspension medium for their chemistry to take place. Although an ammonia-suspended or methane-suspended life form would be considered an alien biochemistry, having a different element for a base goes one step further towards the science fiction end of the spectrum. These are the life forms which would actually be non-carbon-based in their chemistry.

    The main proposal for an alternative element is silicon...

    Another proposal is that of life that is based on no element, that is not even chemical in nature. It has been found that ionized gas, under some conditions, tends to form stable helical patterns of magnetic fields..."


  • Maybe if we gave these little suckers a billions years to evolve (They basically used sulfur instead of oxygen)?


    "Despite belonging to previously known taxonomic groups, the new species possess some radical differences compared with other metazoans. Most significantly, the new species do not have mitochondria, the cellular organelles that use oxygen and sugar to generate the cell’s energy. Instead, the new loriciferans have organelles that resemble hydrogenosomes, which are used by some single-celled eukaryotes to generate energy without oxygen. However, this is the first time that these organelles have been observed in multicellular organisms. Previous research has indicated that hydrogenosomes may have evolved from mitochondria, while other research suggests they evolved independently."

  • The "Old Ones" in Stranger in a Strange Land were spirits. Does that count, or are we getting into the Alien afterlife now?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Sure, why not? Metahphysical Sci-Fi...

    Data (from Star Trek) I guess technically doesn't use oxegen or any other chemical process, but he's not "organic" and there was always debate in the show about whether he was "sentient" or not.

    Some enthusiastic computer geeks probably already define computers as "lower life forms"!

  • Mike from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Heinlein - sentient moon computer with a sense of humor better than the average enthusiastic computer geek.

  • You've got those weird organisms that live underwater at the mouth of those sulphur jet things?

    I've always thought that our next step in evolution would be to silicon .. our consciousness gets transferred onto silicon chips or whatever.

    Speaking of consciousness, there seems to be enough evidence to start a discussion that light has 'consciousness' (see Young's slit experiment - how does the photon know the second slit is open etc.)

    Also rocks ....

    Okay, next thread.

  • (looking around furtively for any non-sci-fi heads)

    Non-oxygen breathers?
    There were the Vorlons from Babylon 5, who had to walk around in those breathers. Oh, and then there were the Breen from Deep Space 9 who wore the helmet used by Princess Leia in Episode VI when she was rescuing Han at Jabba's palace.

    I'll get my coat.

  • But did the Breen not use ANY oxygen? Those helmets could have merely provided a different mixture of oxygen, carbon, etc. There are plenty of examples of that, but how many aliens didn't inhale ANY oxygen...we need a nerd intervention here...

    (Besides, the Breen were a mysterious species, and I thought they wore those more for intimidation purposes. I actually suspected that the ones in charge were all females...)

  • "Professor Blair Hedges, who led the research team said: "To build a complex multicellular organism, with all the communication and signalling between cells it entails, you need energy. With no oxygen or mitochondria, complex organisms couldn't get enough of this energy to develop.

    The study showed that organisms containing more than two or three different cell types appeared soon after the surface environment became oxygenated around 2,300 million years ago. This was around the same time that cells became able to extract the energy from oxygen, thanks to the emergence of mitochondria."


    However, life has a way of persisting in spite of evidence to the contrary, so I have no qualms with Sci-fi Aliens who do not need oxygen!

  • Feynman is somebody I go back to again and again. He was a wonderful teacher and a beautiful human being. He realized there was more to life than physics and spent his free time in strip joints painting the patrons and the girls. When you stop to think that he out-thought Einstein in a sense, and tidied up the mathematics of guys like Dirac for his Nobel .. .yet still retained his humanity and his warmth .. awesome. Then you find out he's the guy that solved the Challenger puzzle ... made the bomb work ... yada yada. And he had an IQ of 125 ? How is that possible? Make s mockery of the IQ tests.

    Matthew Broderick played him in a movie called infinity which wasn't bad but only dealt with Los Alamos.

  • Didn't know about that movie. "Infinity" you say? Broderick as Feynmen seems offputting, but I'll check it out.

    The Los Alamos story as told by Feynmen was very interesting. He claimed he was the only human to actually watch the first a-bomb without any sort of glasses, which is some sort of symbolism. He also kept warning the Generals that the security was too lax and that the secrets can easily be lifted (as they were).

    I also like that he became an alcoholic for a short time without even realizing it. Feynmen wrote that once he recognized that he got an irrepressible urge to drink in the middle of the day, that he quit drinking immediately.

    Like you say, just a guy with a lot of curiosity (though he was uncommonly intelligent, I don't care what that IQ test says.)

    It all goes back to Einstein's "Thought Experiments" - just approaching problems in unique ways, which requires more imagination than rain-man data.

  • Pretty sure the Bears are going to draft a guard in the first round. Would love to draft Olgetree or Warmack if they fall to the Bears.

    However, if Emery can pull off a tradedown and get another second round pick, I won't complain.

  • As much as I would love to see an oline drafted first round - the longer we go without signing Campbell, I see us trading down to use a second or third(from trade)being used for our 2nd string QB project.

  • Don't want to see Carimi at guard. Let him fight Scott and fatboy for the RT spot. Lance at RG and then draft our LG. But there's still a godawful hole at center. Does anyone agree on that?

  • Seems a big assumption is that Louis can still play.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Bingo. There's a reason he hasn't signed with anyone yet.

  • Manti will attempt to reach prime draft speed tomorrow:


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    he is so fucked if he does another 4.8

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Poor kid.
    I think the NFL should set a maximum speed of eligibility at all positions. Every year at the Combine, lower it a little. In maybe ten years, players would be slow enough that there wouldn't BE brain-damaging collisions. No one would get hurt. Women could play. Think how wonderfully inclusive football would be (except Goodell would still have to screen-out the gay).

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    As long as wheelchair access was allowed, and people less-able than ourselves could play. Parents would be allowed to accompany their loved ones onto the field and support them throughout the game. The scores would be zeroed just as the game ends and everybody makes the pro bowl.

  • for my birthday next year please boys: http://uncrate.com/stuff/1955-mercedes-benz-404-unimog/

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Do you want it in Current Pre-Restoration Condition ($28,000.00) or Better-Than-New Full Frame-Off Restoration Condition ($140,000.00)?

  • Oh, really... you don't miss football... oh, ok... flaming dragon.... fuckface.


    You're welcome.

  • fb_avatar

    What I think is this pre-draft, pre-season stuff is fun, but doesn't matter. If they take a first round OL and he turns into a bust it's a terrible pick. If they take a first round NT and he is rookie of the year, than it's a win. What's worse, you don't know right away. Sometimes it takes 5-6 years for a guy to become a stud (Tillman).

    Last year's draft so far MEH. McLellin, serviceable, but will we be building around him? Don't see it. Jeffery? Possibly. Hardin? Who knows.

    So the difference between the fast little wide receiver, or the big stud on the OL, give me the one that can start and make a difference for the next 5 years.

    Now, if I had a choice, we'd be drafting an All Pro LT.

  • does signing Z-ski indicate Hardin is out ? Hardin ran a 4.43 40, with a low of 4.38. he's 6'-3" and 220, but seems like a China Doll. He looks awefully good on paper though. Emery has done solid so far, but WTF with all these 1-year deals. Guess when we sign for the vet minimum that's the way to go and keep cap number down. Hope we don't lose half the team next year and blow this thing up too much.

  • In reply to Guinness Please:

    ESPN reports the Bears will have about 50 MILLION DOLLARS in cap room next year. That is more than enough to draft well this year, sign vets to minimum deals next year while Emery continues to correct 8 years of Angelo, sign Cutler to extension, restructure Pep, sign Melton to contract if he earns it this year, restructure Marshall if we redo Cutler, etc

    Why draft an unknown entity in a late round college pick and pay them 550K when you can sign a proven, verifiable vet for 650-950K??????

    Look at the glut of solid pro players signing for the vet minimum all over the league. Not everone gets a 5yr deal with millions upfront. The vets playing on 1 yr deals this year can always be re-signed to 2yr deals with some upfront money to spread over the remaining year to keep the cap number low if they perform.

    Emery is fucking killing this offseason. Almost the entire defense and offense has been brought back intact including major upgrades at LT, TE, SAM LB, MIKE LB, backup Safety, etc

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    also, there is a reason Cliff Stein does what he does and we do what we do. Always trust the guy that other smart guys say is the smartest.

    When i had Urlachers wrist injury it made me feel good to pull up to Northwestern and see my hand surgeon getting out of his fucking Astin Martin Vanquish. He looked at me and we both knew.....that he was going to earn every penny.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Old vanguish sucked.

    new Vanguish is nice.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    i wouldn't kick the old one out of bed if you know what i mean......

    I can now pick it up for the Vet Minimum of 99,000.00


  • In reply to Guinness Please:

    There's the rub. We win the SB for example ... and then half our team is up for grabs. Maybe this is the new trend in the business. I'll take the Lombardi though.

  • http://uncrate.com/stuff/espresso-veloce-v12-machine/

    Hey GP, here's what you ask your chick for summeristmas.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    She drinks Expresso, I don't.

    Clarkson from Top Gear has the V8 glass table, I want that.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Yes, please


  • In reply to gpldan:

    I don't even drive cars, but watching this stuff is compulsory once you start. Clarkson driving all the top cars and comparing them on Hot Metal.


  • The biggest windbag is not always the most powerful...

    "Forbes has issued its annual list of worldwide billionaires. Not surprisingly, more than a few of them own NFL teams.

    The richest of all NFL owners, via SportsBusiness Daily, is Paul Allen (owner of the Seahawks), at a whopping $15 billion.

    A full 10 figures in the distance is Rams owner Stan Kroenke, at $5.0 billion. (Coupled with wife Ann Walton Kroenke’s $4.5 billion, that’s a $9.5 billion power couple.)

    The bronze is shared by Dolphins owner Stephen Ross and Buccaneers owner Malcolm Glazer, both of whom are listed at a net worth of $4.4 billion.

    Next on the list is Jaguars owner Shahid Khan, at $2.9 billion. Giants co-owner Joan Tisch also has a net worth of $2.9 billion.

    Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is worth $2.7 billion, followed by Patriots owner Robert Kraft ($2.3 billion), Browns owner Jimmy Haslam III ($1.8 billion), Texans owner Bob McNair ($1.8 billion), Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti ($1.8 billion), Falcons owner Arthur Blank ($1.6 billion), Colts owner Jim Irsay ($1.5 billion), Titans owner Bud Adams ($1.2 billion), Saints owner Tom Benson ($1.2 billion), 49ers co-owner Denise York ($1.1 billion), Redskins owner Dan Snyder ($1.0 billion), and Chargers owner Alex Spanos ($1.0 billion)."


  • What's the big deal? If we think the Chicago Bears franchise is worth over $1B, who the fuck else can buy it?

  • Where do they get these figures from? Doesn't Glazer also own Manchester United ? Paul Allen owned half of Microsoft - he's only worth 15 Billion?

    Funny how the trillionaire Rothschilds are never on these lists. Well not really - when you own half the world's wealth you can pretty much shape reality as you wish.

  • Te'o ran a decent time at 4.71 and one scout clocked him at 4.68..

    I still would love a tradedown and if he's there in the second round then the Bears should jump on it. He's not the fastest or strongest but he has to be the most instinctive linebacker in this draft.

  • Instinctive, sphincter-tive.

    (What I did there... )

    He's a pass.

  • Here's my issue with Te'o.

    His 40 is slow, but like you say, his instincts are great. If you recognize a play, that gets you at least a 1/10th of a second head start over other LBs who are dumb, so on the field, that 4.71 can transform to 4.61. Also, adrenaline makes some faster than others (Rice is perhaps the best example), which seems to be the case with Te'o.

    HOWEVER...every team in the NFC now must have Kaep, Wilson, RG3 in mind when they draft. They're young, and they're not going anywhere. So pure speed in MLB I think will be prized much more from now on in the arms race between O and D.

    Also, Te'o crumbled under the biggest game of his life. Is that really the guy you want at the goal line, or on a 3rd and 1 in OT, or in the playoffs? Can "clutch" be taught?

    Te'o also seemed to be somewhat duplicitous (to put it mildly).

    Oh, and he's barely 6'2, but must work to keep his weight down. Also isn't known for pass rushing.

    Those question marks should drop him to the late 20s or 2nd, and even then some will question drafting a MLB who might only be a 2-down back (because of said speed).

    I still think some team (maybe the Vikes) are playing coy and will draft him in that range though.

  • Last year Te'o was pretty good at blitzing and I don't know where it went.

    However, I'm not on the bandwagon on the option or Kaepernick, Wilson, or RG3. I jumped on the Newton bandwagon about how he proved his doubters wrong and the next season he just becomes more of a crybaby..

    Once the NFL gets tape on anything, it usually dies down. It has happened before and it will happen again.

    The clutch gene is a weird gene. Did Cam Newton have it when he played at Auburn and then lost it in the NFL? If that's the case, how in thee hell did Tom Brady get it and then lose it?

    I don't care if Te'o had one bad game. Urlacher had quite a few and we still wanted him back. Let's see what the kid can do.

  • It wasn't just 'one bad game' though. I think that's a fallacious argument.

    It was THE game. THE game of his life thus far, and he crumbled like a house of cards.

    Then in another pressure packed situation, he ran a 4.82, then claimed he really ran a 4.5, then said he was just fatigued (as if no one else went through the process).

    If Te'o had a bad game in season against USC or Stanford, that's one thing, but his performance seems to suffer when the pressure's up. Not exactly a trait a team wants in a MLB leading the D.

  • That Peyton Manning guy has that same kind of trait but seems to being do well in the NFL.

    I think it's overrated. I mean, look at Tebow.. pretty clutch eh?

  • Tebow IS clutch, but he has no arm.

    People often confuse the "wild cat" with "the pistol" or "read option" - they're not the same.

    Kaep can SLING the ball. He destroyed us through the air, then he destroyed the Pack through the ground.

    Wilson can throw the ball. RG3 can throw the ball. The read option is not a "fad", and it ain't going the way of the Ronnie Brown Wild Cat.

    In fact, MORE teams are looking to integrate it into their O (even been talk of the Bears using it).

    What I think will happen is that the read-option/pistol will be used less during the regular season, but come play-off time, the 9ers, Seahawks, Skins, etc will unleash it full force the next 2-3 years.

    After that, who knows? But if the Bears (or any team) want to seriously contend for the SB, they better preparing for the "fad".

  • Time will tell. People said the exact same thing about the "wild cat."

    You think it will last and I don't. Let's see how it plays out, shall we?

  • For the record, I never was one of those who thought the Wild Cat would last. It was just a deperation move for the Fins to try to beat the Pats somehow, and a bit of a "Fuck you, Bill, how you like them apples?"

    I mean, Ronnie Brown in the back field is not gonna chuck a 40 yd go route.

    I think if Ds collectively decide to punish the QBs in the read option, it won't last longer than 3 years (and really, that's our "window" right there), at least not as a base package.

    But hitting those guys can be a hard proposition, esp Wilson who seems very savvy about it. RG3 is a bit reckless, but ppl forget that he (and Vick) got injured on a scramble. Kaep and Cam aren't exactly frail either.

    Chip Kelly actually claims that the read-option doesn't expose QBs to more injuries than any other offense. It's an interesting take.

    Here's the link about Chip Kelly discussing the cyclical nature of the pistol and nfl in general. I'll have to find the other one.


  • I don't know how folk will stop the read option. If we have a line that can execute it then the defense MUST put 8 in the box, because if they don't then we run the ball all day or Cutty kills them on the roll-out. Once 8 go in the box, he audibles outside to the single-covered Beast.

    If there's a stink around Manti then why take the risk? We can take a guard, a CB, a DE ...whatever. You get Urlacher back on board (or not) and then you have a choice of LBs, you could get Arthur Brown or maybe Minter in the second. He's not a Von Miller pick. He's an option we can easily ignore.

  • Your first main paragraph nails it Butch, and it relates to the with the Urlacher thing. Yes, Brian has lost a step or two, but when the ball is snapped, he's generally going in the right direction. Some 4.45-running rookie ILB full of piss and vinegar might look fast, but if he's moving in the wrong direction ... faster .... then what's the point?

    Speed is only important if you know what you're doing.

  • Fuck T'eo. We missed the train when we weren't lucky enough to get a shot at Kuechly, and there won't be another one around like him for a while most likely.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    That, and it's too fucking hard for me the get the apostrophe in the right place.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Kuechly would have been awesome.

  • @BradBiggs 1m
    #Bears expected to re-sign CB Kelvin Hayden per @vxmcclure23 but he reports nothing official at this point. Would address nickel role.

  • If Hayden is re-signed and Izzy is brought back then Emery successfully brought back every meaningful piece of the defense in a year where we locked up our LT and TE.

    Then we can draft OL then after that........whoever the fuck we want.

    Angelo.......simply......go fuck yourself.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I can see us getting Hayden back but I don't know about Izzy...

    You have a first round pick that needs to get more playing time and Wootton stepped up. But he could make a decent rotational DT.. I wonder if that's Emery's ace up his sleeve.. to draft a DT in the first round.

  • Izzy plays inside and outside though and if we draft DT in the first round i'll fling myself off of navy pier.

    Woot, Pep, Dinner, Izzy, McBride would be a nice rotation since Izzy can play tackle as well. We also have black McClellin who can play DE if McBride just can't cut it.

    They want Izzy back, just not for 2.5Mil. I just thought Izzy had too good of a year in 2012 to let him walk though.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Can't see anyone signing one of my favourite Bears, Izzy. He'll be back for the minimum and he will block 2 FGs (one by Robbie Gould) and be a serviceable DE in the rotation.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Hayden and meaningful do not yet belong in the same paragraph.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    if it makes you feel better just apply "meaningful" to the whole defense then. Every single piece that allowed our defense to perform at a high level is back except Izzy.

    Urlacher was rated terribly and was the week link on the defense. Roach is just a guy that doesn't suck so bad that he is noticeable.

    Williams and Anderson are huge upgrades to Urlacher and Roach.

    Sign Izzy and it's official that the Bears are much stronger than last year on D and on O with the addition of Trestman, Unicorn and Bushrod. Then you can only get even better with the draft and possibly signing Louis again.

    Bang Bang.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Is Anderson a huge upgrade to Roach? I hope that is accurate, 'cause if D.J. Williams keeps his nose clean, our middle will be bad ass.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    For every day Urlacher doesn't get signed, he just looks that much dumber. And for every day he doesn't get signed, I feel dumber for having been so upset about it in the first place. It's a shame that he couldn't see the big picture and realized that the $2mil was a very small part of it. Take the Bears' money, do the victory lap, pick up the megabucks endorsements and sail off into the sunset on your own terms. The way everything went down, there's a stigma attached to him now...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Thing is Tobi, it doesn't sound like he had a great deal of time to mull it over. Of course he'd feel slighted at the initial offer. He's the kind of guy that would have to calm down, think it through, and then face facts. I don't think they gave him the opportunity to do so, because they just wanted to make cap space and move on. Campbell being signed by the Browns - there's 3 million for starters.

    Briggs, Williams, Anderson is not a linebacking corps. One injury and you're back at square one being pounded week in week out.

    Briggs, Urlacher, Williams, Anderson ...that's a superbowl LB corps, and we can afford it if Brian takes 2 or 3 million.

  • Did we seriously just derail this thread on Ender's Game?


    Offseason needs to END.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Like I said, "on to more pressing matters".

    Plus, I think the thermodynamics discussion took up way mo space.

    By the way, "Heat Death of the Universe" is a great short story.

    ANYONE GOT ANY GOOD MOVIES TO WATCH? semicolon left parentheses.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Hey Willie, before you read the rest of the Ender series... Read a book called Armor by John Steakly. It could be the best sci-fi military strategy book ever written (Yes, Ender says so)

  • Since we cut Zizzenknocker, does Hester get his spot for $2M?

    I say cut him.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Why? You're only going to save $1 mil unless you sign an unproven returner. Last year Hester was fucked and he still came close on 2-3 returns. As recently as 2011 he had 3 return TD's. Most teams would kill for that! If he comes in this year looking for a soft place to land, like last year, cut him then.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Fine. Wait till that 73 Impala pulls up at camp and he sports all KINDS of 'tude; then cut him.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I call bullshit on that one. I'm pretty sure he is going to act all nice and warm up to Emery and Trestman because he knows he is at the end of his career.

  • Fuck Devin hester and his admitted lazy not trying ass. Fuck him right in his face.

    Hey coach... fucking instigator. Look a you down there. Cracking me the fuck up.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    i say cut Hester, let's Weems and Anderson return kicks. That's right, I said Joe Anderson returning kicks. This guy was a WR and KR in college at 6'1 205.

    Now he's shown that he can fucking tackle like a crazed roided up linebacker. If you cut Hester you can have Izzy. Anderson is a super cheap and effective multi-posiiton player with a ton of heart just waiting for a chance. he will make the team through sheer will during camp.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I bet Anderson gets cut.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I say let the best returner in the history of the NFL return kicks for us. And that ain't Joe fucking Anderson

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    The best returner in history was Hester in 2005. Please go back in time and get me that fearless, cocky, confident, aggressive returner and not the huge scared whiny pussy version that we now have. Ha, put fucking Weems back there. At least the guy has the balls to go up the middle and not get tackled on the fucking 3 yard line.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I would have kicked his ass out the door if I was Ginny the first I heard of his admission he called it in for two years. On principal. We're going to pay to keep him on the roster for what? Because he WAS the GOAT return man? When's the last time he ran one back? Two years?

    Sorry, but if you're afraid to get hit then football is not the game for you.

  • Look at all the guys in the last year of their deals/on one year deals. To the untrained eye/idiot fuckstick meatball fan , you'd think, my god, the Bears will have to let their whole team go in the offseason.....

    Then you must realize that Emery and Cliff Stein know the beauty of this new Grapes of Wrath vet minimum marketplace. Solid position players can be plugged in with cheap contracts that don't take up lots of space and allow the player to play for their dinner so to speak. 2013 and 2014 draft will also take care of any glaring problems.

    TE Kyle Adams - completely replaceable with nameless faceless cannon fodder
    RB Armando Allen - completely replaceable with nameless faceless cannon fodder
    LB James Anderson - solid SAM backer and an upgrade to Roach, playing for his dinner and could be extended next year with a quick 2yr , very cap friendly deal.
    WR Joe Anderson - on cap friendly rookie undrafted deal
    CB Zack Bowman - playing for his dinner
    OT Cory Brandon - who the fuck is cory brandon?
    DT Nate Collins - vet minimum 1 yr deal for the rest of his career
    LB Blake Costanzo - cap friendly deal
    QB Jay Cutler - substantial deal but with cap friendly bonus after we go to the playoffs and he throws for 4,000 25TD's and 10INT's
    LB Dom DeCicco - don't make me laugh. This guy should be working at Enterprise Rent A Car
    TE Brody Eldridge - cheap cannon fodder/camp body
    LB Jerry Franklin - my cousin Jerry is on the team?
    C Roberto Garza - old as balls, replaceable with any 3rd rounder or vet on vet min contract
    K Robbie Gould - keep him signed with cap friendly deal if he stays healthy
    KR/WR Devin Hester - sorry Devin, you gone
    CB Tim Jennings - based on this year Tim has a better chance of a lucrative contract than Tillman based on age
    LS Pat Mannelly - cap friendly deal
    DE Turk McBride - completely replaceable with nameless faceless cannon fodder on vet min contract next year if doesn't perform backup role
    CB Sherrick McManis - solid special teams but replaceable
    DT Henry Melton - needs to perform this year to get long term deal
    S Tom Nelson - huh?
    TE Fendi Onobun- nope
    DE Cheta Ozougwu - the black McClellin, will be cut as he is not the white McClellin we took in the first round
    RT Jonathan Scott - cap friendly
    S Craig Steltz - bomber on his way out as we obtained new whiter, younger bomber in Zibby
    CB Charles Tillman - playing for his last contract based on performance this year. If stays healthy will be presented with Urlacher type deal but 2 yrs instead of 1.
    DT Matt Toeaina - cannon fodder with the availability of vets on minimum deals
    RB Harvey Unga - will leave the team for personal reasons
    S Anthony Walters - toss
    OT J’Marcus Webb - may have to play for leftover taco bell to stay in chicago
    LB D.J. Williams - playing for his dinner
    G Edwin Williams - practice squad lifer who only got on the field because Angelo fucked the position for so long.
    DE Corey Wootton - contractyear!!!!!
    SS Major Wright - contract year!!!!!
    ZIbby - playing for his next 1 yr deal

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    The Dominator was cut last year, wasn't on roster by end of year.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    On some other site some guy put forward Dom's name as a guy who should be able to step up this year "since he now knows the system" and I told him to go die in a smelly alley. I think that may have been too harsh.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    As usual, your post made me laugh! Well done. I actually agree with you on almost the players listed. The only thing I can add is I hope Woot and Major Wang play so well they get nice deals. It would be a pleasant problem.

    It will be interesting to see who wins the RT battle. I'm guessing Webb wins it but Scott played pretty well last year. I see Carimi possibly getting kicked inside or cut. Maybe he's been hurt all this time like Woot and finally gets healthy. That would be great but I'm not counting on it. He was dreadful last year.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I really want Woot and Wang to work out. Actual drafted players coming into their own and maintaining a spot in the starting lineup....

    You're right, the RT battle will be interesting. Cutler like Scott, Carimi should be completely healthy and Webb can only get better. I can't see them cutting Gabe though unless his knee is done and he just can't hack it. NFL lineman might be the most grueling job in the league. No rest for the weary.

    I want Gabe to pan out though at least at Guard but at the same time it's hard for me to see only Bushrod as the sole improvement in the offseason. I know Scott starting from day one would make a difference but I really want to see a badass rook get some playing time in that line this year.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Exactly! Louis might have trouble all year, Who knows? If that's the case, we're really fucked inside.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I have complete confidence that a vet Guard , a healthy Louis or a 1st or 2nd Rd pick will be the piece that goes in there.

    I can't wait 4 months for this shit. Hockey, movies, family and work are the only things saving me from complete sports meltdown. The Derrick Rose talk and baseball bullshit are killing me.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Why'd you have to bring up Rose? I was having a good day and I hadn't watched 2 year old YouTube highlights YET this week.

    Streak over. Commence depression induced eating binge.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    You mean Nate isn't cutting it for ya?


  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:


    U.S. soccer team is playing Mexico tonight, if that makes you feel better.

    I also want to punch the next person who utters the word "bracket" right in his face.

  • see if we can go for two times in a row... ever.



  • I should start my own "insider" web page and charge a fee to people on how to fill out their brackets. As usual, my one BRACKET consistently outperforms all the experts at CBS and ESPN. Like the last two years, I have a much higher score than EVERYONE at those two sites.

    I feel the same way about fantasy football. If you want, I'll meet you in Denver or Kansas City and we can have a toe to toe fight! We'll meet at a bar, have a few beers and shots (Patron or Jameson for me), then I'll talk about my bracket and you can talk about fantasy football. Then we can go duke it out.

    Better yet, we can meet in Omaha and get tanked with Willie first. He can be the referee.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Maybe Willie can talk about how Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer ever and complete the trifecta...

    Is there such a thing as a fantasy college basketball march madness bracket?

    Maybe then it would get interesting.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    You could win without ever throwing a punch. After enough drinks, you can talk about the 2nd law of thermodynamics, science fiction, and the big bang theory. If I forget to drop some acid or shrooms ahead of time, your mind can put me into sleep mode within 30 minutes.

    A fantasy hoop tourney would require picking the right teams first, then their best scoring players. NASCAR at Martinsville next week. Should be a good race.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    I'd love to speak on how I picked Jrue Holiday, and Damian Lillard in a fantasy basketball auction for $1 each.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Do we have Fendi Onobun!? That dude played some rugged PF at Arizona. Easily an upgrade over Davis.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Fendi is in for a fight to make this roster. Black Unicorn, Maneri, Rodriguez, Eldridge, Onobun, Adams, etc

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    WR Joe Anderson - who the fuck is Joe Anderson?

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    hahahaha.....you know.

    The guy that Marshall said is a hungry beast that needs a chance to step in.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    That same Marshall that said Hester would have a better year at receiver than he would?

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    i'm pretty sure Marshall knew he was going to have a better year and that he was just being cognizant of the sensitive Hester situation that he walked into.

    The question posed to him was how the Bears would respond to losing Bennet and Jeffrey. He said the Anderson was hungry and should get a shot and that Mike Sims Walker was available to come in.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Emery said Big Toe will be gone. I will eat my shoes if they let Steltz go. Urlacher said he's always in the right position, that's worth something, surely. Edwin can play center apparently, which is more than can be said for Garza.

  • CA..agree on E-Train .........WE are poised to win NOW!!!!


    Glitchy and LDL are gone no excuses E-Train & Mt want to........ WIN NOW!!!!

  • Why Why Manti?


  • In reply to gpldan:

    4.69 - 4.75

    Brutal. Dude ain't going to the draft either... which I think is a smart choice. Who was the dude who literally went and got left standing there like a fool? Can't remember, but it's someone badass now isn't it?

  • Waffle, that was funny as hell analysis on our contract players. Depending on how motivated WootWoot plays it may spell the end of Peppers in Chicago next year (especially considering his massive cap hit as well).

    Calling it now that Wright gets injured and we draft a new shiny Safety next year. No comment on what round he'll be drafted in, or his ethnicity.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    wait wait wait.... let me guess... lemme guess....

    a white safety, in the third round... with a ruptured spleen!?

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    I don't want Peppers to ever leave. I want him to be young and effective forever. Hopefully he kills it next year and restructures with us.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I hope so as well, but if he is average or just above average, then his cap hit next year is $17.2M. As far as I can see so far (might just be that the website hasn't updated for next years dead money) we can cut him straight up with no penalty.

    Even then - as previously pointed out - we'll have around $40M in cap space next year, so we might be able to keep him on at $17M anyway.

  • I know, I've been lax, so this one's for doc (oh my!): http://www.jessicacribbononline.com/swimwear.html

    And this one's for all the tribesmen on the blog: http://extramustard.si.com/2013/03/26/geoff-schwartz-random-facts-about-being-jewish-athlete/

  • http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/gay-player-rumored-to-be-considering-coming-out-032613

    Common timmy tebow! Just do it maings. There totally isn't anything wrong with that dude.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I wouldn't laugh too hard, both Manti and Tebow might end up on the Bears!

    Continuing the pistol/option theme from earlier:

    "The read-option is spreading. Even quarterbacks who aren't exactly speed merchants will work on it in 2013.

    Chicago Bears coach Marc Trestman revealed Wednesday at the NFL Annual Meeting in Phoenix that the read-option will be part of the Bears' playbook. We wouldn't expect Jay Cutler to use the attack much, but it will give defenses more to prepare for. Cutler is athletic enough to at least make defenses pause on option-type plays.
    Free-agent tracker

    Perhaps it also has to do with the Bears' division rivals.

    "I know we're going to see it early and often. If I was playing against us, I would test the Green Bay Packers," coach Mike McCarthy said Wednesday, via Jason Wilde of ESPNMilwaukee.com.

    Trestman couldn't hide his excitement about working with Cutler on Wednesday -- and it's not because of Cutler's running ability. The new coach called Cutler "exceptionally tough" and said Cutler's arm was better than any quarterback Trestman ever has worked with.

    Cutler's legs might get an occasional workout in 2013 too."

    Some interesting stats from the comment's of that link...


    "Cutler's average yards per carry last year was higher than: Cam Newton, Russel Wilson, and Michael Vick. Just saying."

    "Ran for as many first downs as Colin Kaepernick (14)."

    The read-option depends on QBs who can slide or throw the ball away. Cutler doesn't like doing either.

    Trestman's team in Canada also held the rights to Tebow...might solve our FB problem too - and we always need a good punt protector.

  • fucking just stop that. right now. RIGHT now.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Te'o and Tebow, has a ring to it. They already have their own animation show...


  • Now that Campbell is a Brown, Tebow would be an OK vet backup. But, the Kitna-like QB is not a free agent, therefore probably way to expensive (third rounder, maybe?). Looking more and more like a rookie backup.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    I would be dumbfounded if the Bears did not sign a #2 without a goodly amount of starting experience...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    When you say "goodly" do you mean: a young guy who only had enough snaps to help his team get into the playoffs? Or, do you mean a guy like McNoun, who is starting to be Testiverdeish?

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    With the offensive weapons we now have, we only need a QB that can get the ball into their hands CONSISTENTLY. That is not Tebow. I'd trust a guy like McCoy or McCown to get those kinds of passes into their hands.

    Anyone know if Neckbeard is available?

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    meant "backup qb".

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Neckbeard would be a welcome return.

    Ender, do you really believe that Tebow would be a good #2? Especially if we are going to get pass happy? Yuck.

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    Now that Campbell is gone I think Tebow is good for a win or two if Cut gets banged up. But what sells me more than anything is that he is an able body for all special team plays. That seems like a big deal to have an active roster spot contribute, other than riding the bench.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Jets are trying to get whatever they can for Tebow, but I doubt anyone gives them even a 7th for him.

    I seriously believe that Trestman and gang are waiting for the Jets to drop Tebow.

    McCown will get re-signed and be the 2nd, with Tebow as the 3rd with the Trestman promise that he will get a chance to run some read-option, hb, fb, h-back packages, which is much more than other teams would be willing to offer.

    We struggled mightily on short downs and goalines last year, and with our C/G situation in flux, 240 pound Tebow can make his own yds, esp if the safety stays back to help out with Marshall.

    With the new rules allowing teams to play their 3rd QB without penalty, it seems plausible.

    To me, Tebow makes perfect sense as a 3rd QB.

    Blanchard will be stashed on the practice squad because he's going to have to learn a whole new playbook.

  • Please god stop this lunacy. Did you really go fucking crazy over the last week?!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm laughing my ass off right now... But you have to admit: a backup QB that can contribute on special teams saves us a roster spot and gives the Bears another Jersey to sell.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    no. please no. not worth it at all. he's fucking just patently turrible. Not on the Bears man... he's a circus clown that belongs either on a crazy team (jets, bengals, etc...) or running his own megachurch. I don't care which.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    No way man. He ain't worth half a Brandon Marshall. You could get Tebow for a 7th at this point tbh....it's been made clear he has no future in NY everyone knows it.

    I'd still flip out if we gave that up though, he'll be cut soon enough.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    oh, of course. When I said "3rd rounder" i was saying that was too much. But if 4ever is right and he is worth a 7th or especially if he gets cut and will work for peanuts.. well then, I would consider pulling that trigger. I get that the whole religious thing could get out of hands, but as far as worrying about a circus, I don't think there would be much of one. If there was a sect of fans and reporters that wanted to give Tebow a chance to start, they would be as easy to ignore as JWebbNation. Don't hang me guys, I just dont think Rexy, Colt, or even McNoun gives us more hope to win a game than Tebow.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    It probably won't matter though. The longer free agency goes, the more and more it looks like we draft a QB in round 2-4.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Ender, there is no way we draft a QB in RD 2 or Rd 4. That is a wasted fucking pick. That's Angelo.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    No to Tebow.

    Absolutely NO.

    His value as a player does not nearly offset the circus atmosphere that comes with having him on your roster.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If Brendon is fighting for gay rights then it's got to be him. Either that or it's our Greg.

    Tebow for Bears TE, I bet he'd be great. Good work ethic and character.

  • Bears agree to terms on 1-yr deal w/Kelvin Hayden. He was also talking w/the Eagles

  • MB's fave nickle back!

  • Wow, how come I don't remember Hayden even recovering ONE fumble? Getting old sucks...

    "Hayden joined the Bears last season, appearing in all 16 games with two starts.

    Hayden had 40 tackles, one interception, and three deflected passes in 2012. He also tied for the NFL lead with four fumble recoveries."


    I think he's better suited for the outside where he can use his size and sideline against WRs than in the nickle where he seems to struggle in space. I always thought Jennings should slide into the slot in more instances, esp against deep WR groups like the Pack, but maybe I'm just going stir crazy.

  • Packers used to move Woodson into the slot all the time. I don't think it's a bad idea, depending on the matchups.

  • Don't forget, Tillman did pretty good shadowing Megadouche for 34 yards.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Tillman shuts that bitch down EVERY time.

    Optimus Prime.

  • He had at least one in the Titans game if I recall. Guess his 4 FF recoveries were a product of playing so close to Peanut.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    No doubt

  • @AdamSchefter 3m
    And that is a two-year deal that former Bears QB Jason Campbell signed with the Cleveland Browns.

  • Weeden

    Someone gittin cut and it's not Weeden or Campbell.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I'd take McCoy at backup.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Stranger things have happened. He's got plenty of starting experience which Emery likes. I don't think he wants a mid-round/free agent project QB at the #2 position...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Meant mid-round/UFA QB project...

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    i could get behind that.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Oh shit.... McCoy is the one that's coming out. That's my new theory!


    There was a construction worker in the village people right?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    you ever see McCoy's wife? coming out shit.........

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    why yes, yes I have sir.


    She's cute. An 8.

    I have another question for you... have you ever seen any of tom cruise' wives? Or john travolta's wife?

    Need I go on?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I know what you are saying but Cruise is arguably the biggest action star on earth and Travolta....well....uh....he did Grease?

    Hollywood is different than Texas my man. If you don't bring the heat on a Texas cheerleader she is out the door. My texas cheerleader experience was on a cruise when i was going into my senior year of highschool right before summer doubles. Needless to say....best.vacation.ever.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Hmmmm... don't buy the 'there aren't any gay dudes in texas' argument but ok.

    Let's move on to something MUCH more terrifying.

    If you thought ONE shark was scary, how about THIS: http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_t5#/video/us/2013/03/26/nr-two-headed-shark-fetus.cnn

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    "Researchers are still trying to find out.....what caused this."

    I can venture some guesses: medical waste, human hormone drenched trashy oil water, mad scientists, etc

    MB, did you see the video right after it with the SA Shark Cage people?

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    There's been talk of McCoy getting cut for some time. He's got $2.3mil coming if he makes the team. Don't know what they're paying Campbell but the Browns aren't going to pay that for a third string QB...

  • Ready for this idea..

    The Bears need a backup.. instead of drafting one.. how about signing one.. like Trestman's former Qb?

    Let the bashing begin!!

  • He's forty-one years old...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Just an idea.. How old was Brett Farve? *dodges tomatoes*

  • I would love to see Farve run two or three read option snaps in preseason. Some rookie DE looking for a job would reWootten the fake accent right out of his no-fly jeans.

  • Global warming.......I mean climate change.....is it man-made or just natural? If the Earth's temperature increases 2 degrees C in the next 100 years, is that a bad thing? Why is CO2 so important as a greenhouse gas, when it comprises such a small portion of greenhouse gasses? Isn't energy retention from the sun a good thing due to greenhouse gasses? Why is CO2 from humans so dangerous and life threatening?

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Could we just pump the spare CO2 from the planet into your living room?

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    The amount of CO2 produced by human industry is negligible compared to the amount of CO2 produced by nature. Even if you could radically reduce our production of CO2 it wouldn't make the blindest bit of difference. The fact that Al Gore did 'The Inconvenient truth' and is also the guy behind carbon taxes has to make a girl stop and think.

    CO2 is essential for plantlife so that they can generate oxygen for us. Could we have prevented the ice age? No. Can we prevent the earth from doing what the earth does?

  • But our output of CO2 completely upsets the balance that goes on in nature. If you combine that with humans gradually eradicating forests and such then the additional CO2 we create is dealt with even less.

    Just because plants 'run' on CO2 doesn't mean producing more of it is a good thing. It'd be like trying to fill a petrol tank with 150% its capacity simply because you know more fuel gets you further. Sounds like a stupid example I know, but that's exactly the same deal as with the CO2.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    There is far too much disinformation on the side of the advocates of social engineering to know what the science actually says. On thing that is clear is that the IPCC is simply not to be believed.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I certainly wouldn't take anything the IPCC say into account. Unless I have access to publiscised work that confirms or dispels what we suspect about CO2, then I will be ignoring them.

    I dislike that the decisions and announcements are made not by scientists but simply that their work is passed on to bureaucrats for them to announce what they deem the public should know.

    Until we get this proof, I am more than happy with applying research and scientific methods in order to find new ways to lower our CO2 output. My douchy lecturer mentioned earlier in the thread is actually a main player in researching Carbon Capture technology. His work was really interesting, but again, he was a bit of a douchebag, so I never really talked directly to him about it.

  • Fix the OLine!!

  • I thought Kreutz was going to be the benchmark for meathead ego stupidity regarding the Bears for a long while.

    But now I find out that Comcast had a roster clause in their contract with Brian as their spokesperson. Not a Bear? Not a spokesman. Lost wages: as much as another $2M.

    Who is Brian's agent again? Everybody needs to avoid that guy.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    All agents suck Satan's cock.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    i made that point a couple posts ago. Brian's agent Tom Condon, the super agent, has to be fucking retarded. By not taking the Bears 2 Million Dollar deal to stay and retire a Bear with no interruption he probably cost Brian 4-6 Million in endorsements, contractual bumps and bonuses over the next 1-3 years.

    Fucking hysterical.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Here's my final word on this ungrateful Neanderthal:

    If it was me, I would have:
    * Taken whatever deal Phill was kind enough to proffer me… IFF I really wanted to play, but realistically you pull a Costanza (that was for you $) and go out on top maings. Say thank you so much for your love and support phill, but I’d like to retire ‘on top’ (not really but) as a chicago bears great
    * Then I would have smiled and waved vigorously at my retirement ceremony at midfield during the super bowl halftime extravaganza (Bears 21 – SF 7, in case you were wondering)
    * Then, open a chain of restaurant/bar/batting cage/strip club in and around the chitown metro area and enjoy constant and vigorous business, not because the food/entertainment/atmosphere is worth a shit, but because it’s brian fucking urlacher’s place.
    * die rich and happy, but not able to walk or speak


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I don't know if a strip club would be good for Brian... He'd go broke paying all that child support.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Don't forget to be an Xtendz spoke's person with Paris Hilton and McCarthy Cameos.

    +1 on your Seinfeld reference. One step at a time, MB.

    Plus, like half my joke rely on Seinfeld references.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:


  • MB -

    The award for Excellent use of Bonnie Raitt song in a videogame goes to.....


  • In reply to gpldan:

    Bonnie Tyler. Damn. Big big difference. Sorry.

  • In reply to gpldan:


    Always a new fucking version coming out. I loved the BF gameplay, but the multiplayer SUCKED. The maps were HUUUUGE and you'd only run into 2-3 guys during the whole match. It was impossible to see dudes. Never mind flying the planes and helos was fucking impossible. Oh well, we'll see. Game play looks awesome.

    btw, is that what Irish looks like?!

  • I'd rather take my chances with McCown and Blanchard than bring the circus to town. Not a good thing.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:


  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    agreed, if Tebow was the QB you'd see what a disgruntled Marshall and Unicorn would look like.

    As called by Joniak : "......and Black Unicorn breaks down the seam, got 2 steps on his man...Tebow let's it go.....(whistle sounds).....and the pass was broken up....another opportunity for the Bears wasted...."

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I can't even fathom a world where phil emery bring that shitshow to town. If he does, my impression and thoughts about him will instantly change... and not for the better.

    Campbell is a great back up. Give the dude a real oline and he will do just fine. He might have looked like a dink and dunk game manager in that first game, but he was slowly gaining confidence... then SF happened.


  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Joe and Vicki Price playing a song with my buddy Cheech from a few weeks ago. When I first moved to La Crosse Joe used to play at this shitty little bar called Broadway Joe's all the time, and people told me he would hop a freight train to and from Lansing, IA for the shows. Never did find out the truth.


  • I knew Williams was a trouble maker but.. damn lol

    From EnderWiggin


  • Is he a badass middle line backer? that's all i care about

  • i'll take anything from a reporter/beat writer with a grain of salt as big as a crack rock. The media in this city have blasted Cutler for his fucking body language and because he doesn't kiss the asses of guys who would fucking stick a knife in his back if it meant more pageviews for their articles.

    He got caught with PED's. So did Peppers and we love him like a son in law.

    He hates Goodell? Join the party.

    He doesn't get along with the media? Lordy , lordy, sit that boy on the bench. It's time for some angry aggressive linebackers and not guys that I want doing my taxes (Roach), guys I want as the CFO of my company (Hillenmeyer) and random white guys from Rutgers.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I saw Random White Guys from Rutgers in a Ska-fest Double-bill with Fishbone in '88.

    Good times.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Hahahahaha... loves me some fishbone maings!


  • speak of... I am so over the fucking lovie dovie kumbayah bullshit era

    Would you rather have some fucking lombardis or have total org peace?

    I'll take the metal in my trophy case every day maings.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    It's a little early to start talking about Lombardi trophies. I looked briefly for, but did not find, a quote from Jack Nicklaus on all the media jabber of the inevitability of Tiger Woods passing his record of 18 majors. Something along the lines of

    "Don't you think we should wait until he *does* it first?"

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    it was an either or discussion dave. Never said anything was guaranteed... just so happy the lovie/JA era is done.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Well, there is also the old thing about be careful what you wish for, you just might get it...

    But certainly Angelo being gone cannot be a bad thing. And the likes of Tice and Darryl Drake too.

    I'm hopeful, MB, I really am. But I don't want to see the Bears become like the Bengals.

  • this is for shady: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTYmuHatJ14

    yeeeeeesszz baaaatmaaaaan.

  • http://www.delish.com/recipes/cooking-recipes/taste-of-place/?v=69f145ce-2725-22b3-7b33-3f0e071cf735&from=en-us_msnhp

    any of you guys like these fucking things? Disgusting.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Um... no

  • Yes, please. Want it. Alot.


  • In reply to gpldan:

    See this: http://www.motorward.com/wp-content/images/2011/02/growler-e-1.jpg

    btw, I've never told you but my dad gave my bro and I his baby last year. '67 e-type. all originals (or as much as possible) partially restored. Midnight blue.

    Something like this: http://images-3.redbubble.net/img/art/border:blackwithdetail/product:laminated-print/size:small/view:preview/4070383-1-happy-e-type-days.jpg

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Actually, this is almost exactly it: http://www.blogcdn.com/autos.aol.com/media/import/49393e70-00172-05d69-400cb8e1.jpg

    I know you know what the interior smells like too. That prototypical old English car inside smell. Awesome.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That is a gorgeous auto.

    I saw the Jason Statham remake of the Charles Bronson - Jan Michael Vincent classic the Mechanic.

    In the end, the movie detonates a E-Type. Had to walk out furious, just because of that.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    bro and ME

  • Lance Louis to the Dolphins..

  • Dang, have the Dolphins signed everyone?

    Well, at least that's one lest team in the Warmack/Cooper sweepstakes.


  • Oh. That hurts.

  • Wow, that's not good. Before I start searching, does anyone know why Phil Emery let the Bears' best young offensive lineman get away?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I've noticed a trend.


    Long, Lach, Louis, etc...it seems like he has a predetermined chart about what injuries he finds acceptable. Also, in a lot of his pressers "durability" always pops up (like why he wanted Bushrod and Bennett over other FAs like Long or Keller).

    It's definitely different than Jerry's approach, and I expect the trend to continue in the draft.

  • Maybe Emery stays away from aged health risks, but he seemed to think Carimi would be okay, and he picked a couple of injury risks in the draft.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Carimi is Angelo's final gift to us. He slipped do us because of his knee. 2 years later, we're going to find out if it's a chronic issue or not.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I always felt that was more a Tice-pick cos he friends with Tice' son.

    Sucks about Lance, but at least we know what position we're drafting first. If they're serious about the read-option offense then guards become more important than tackles. I can only think thatLance's injury may have been more serious than we knew.

  • Cos he was friends with .... - no ebonics intended.

  • Doesn't DJ Williams substance abuse history qualify as a "health risk"?

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    i think the only substance he abused was a little Cognac and some artificial testosterone.

    It's not like he's addicted to Codeine and Generic Grape Juice Boxes.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I prefer the Drank with Tahitian Treat. I call it "Red Dawn" because it's red, and you have no idea where you'll wake up.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Bang! Bang!

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    DJ and Anderson have missed some time due to inj, but overall they have been very durable (Anderson I think owns the Panthers record for starts).

    Plus, one year vet min deals are hardly a risk.

  • Yup, 78 starts gave him the record.

  • They passed on Webb? Go figure.

  • that sucks, he was my favorite of the turrible bunch of dudes we had on online.

    That said, I am actually ok with basically starting all over again with new dudes. let's scrape the sheite we had and just keep the dudes we have already... cept for webb. that dude sucks and will always suck.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm with you. Clean house (you too, Garza).

    Louis thanks for holding the fort until cheap shot Mullett took you out.

    Moore, Cooper, Wenke, come on down...

    (Also, if any of you want to take a flier on a 6'8 340 OT... "Big Lazy"- Jared Gaithers is now available...)

  • trying to get back into the good graces huh?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm still the lone guy driving the Tebow bandwagon.

    And Emery and I are on the same wave-length, so just prepare yourself for Tebus in a Bear jersey.


  • I'd like him too Butch ... but as a TE ... who could go behind center at a push.

  • With Lance Louis gone, we need Tebow more than ever.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    that was funny. I like you. Yes, in that way.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    my gay threshold has been reached. pull back pull back

    In all seriousness, I want Meriweather's feather hat.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Your gay threshold hasn't been reached til youv'e been with Crunch Buttstake. How do you think I got the name? (ask MB).

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    damn, shit just got real

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    it's aaaaaallwaaaay been real up in this biaaaaaaaaaaatch!

  • We're not out of the woods just yet! This is a very sobering article about our current OT situation.


    I throw out the PFF rating on Bushrod because it doesn't account for Webb getting much more help than Bushrod during the 2012 season.

    I'm also much more optimistic about this season though because we'll actually have a good HC/OC/Oline coach, a better LT and TE.

    Still, it's a good article to read.

  • One has to wonder why we got him for 3.5M.

  • Or at least that's his cap hit in year one. Why?

  • A few issues with that article.

    1. " Webb obviously faced the best pass rusher of each team on just about every snap of the 2012 season whereas the RT typically doesn't get the same level of action from the defense's best pass rusher. "

    He assumes the RT doesn't see the quality of rusher that the LT sees? What does our Julius do? He goes where he feels the guy in front of him is weakest. People were queuing up to have a go at Webb like he was the drunken whore at spring break.

    2. He rides Scott for not having great grades, but then praises Webb for his improvement - completely ignoring the fact that Scott was playing his first NFL football. Saying Webb has improved doesn't mean a thing when he's still bad. And not in a hip-hop way. Webb was the worst RT in football, then he moved to the left where he's the worst LT. But he has 'improved'.

    3. "[Bushrod] graded out worse in pass protection than J'Marcus Webb the man he's slated to replace on the right side. "

    How is that even possible? Who's doing the grading on linemen? Did they play football on the line? Are they amateur bloggers who haven't played? How is that possible?

  • Part of me thinks that Louis will not be as effective this year based on the fact that he tore his ACL later in the year. I wish Lance well but it's time for Emery to bring in a free agent and to stay at 20 and draft OL in first and 2 rounds. Have to at this point and it will be a good thing.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    100% yonny.

    ...a TWO HEADED SHARK!!!!!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Two headed shark draft strategy. Two huge OL freaks of nature por favor.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I change my call on the draft; it's starting to look like last year again...

    Best Available

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    This will be interesting

  • In reply to SC Dave:


  • Lions' Amari Spievey arrested in domestic dispute


  • Bears cap space (as of 3-26).

    Bears: $5.3 million.

    Keep in mind the avg draft class costs about $5M. We're missing a 3rd and 7th, so we're closer to $4M, but if we trade down and accumulate more picks - that can always shoot up.

    Also, it wouldn't surprise me at all if we draft a DT in the first two rds if Melton doesn't get a contract b4 the draft. Might be a contingency plan in case Melton is demanding too much.


  • haha, the Cowboys have 51,000

    I have more cap room in my savings acct. Hey Durant, call me, lets make a deal!

  • Warmack. Please. I would get that jersey. Seriously, having a Bears jersey with the name "Warmack" sounds awesome.

    Emery and Trestman better not be thinking of Barkley in the first round... but I wouldn't mind taking him in the second..

  • Matt Barkley? You're football blogging privileges have been revoked. Why would the Bears select Matt Barkley in the first round of the 2013 NFL Draft? Did your wife hack into your computer? Are you using bath salts? Were you born on the sun?

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Did I say I wanted him in the first round? Are you on bath salts? Crack? Tiger Blood?

    I was just saying I wouldn't mind it in the second round.

  • sorry, i'll amend my statement:

    Matt Barkley? You're football blogging privileges have been revoked. Why would the Bears select Matt Barkley in the second round of the 2013 NFL Draft? Did your wife hack into your computer? Are you using bath salts? Were you born on the sun?

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I decided I didn't like that idea after I thought about it for awhile. If 32 teams pass on the guy in the first round then something's up.

    But a lot of teams passed on Russell Wilson and Tom Brady. What do I know..

  • not to pile on lad, but matt fucking barkley is no more like mr. wilson than I am like hugh heffner... god I wish I was hugh heffner.... or a TWO HEADED FUCKING SHARK!!!!!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    To be honest, Russell Wilson was never a top ten prospect. Barkley was and probably still is.

    Not to point out the obvious but the 49ers had a lot of other needs than QB a couple of drafts ago.. That turned out quite nicely for them. It's a far fetch idea.

    I still have 100% faith that Cutler can and will be a top ten qb very soon but you all agree that if someone better can start then play him.

  • Oh, I'm down with picking up a new toy to groom at QB erik... and I'm talking rd 1 material... or if emery has the skills to pick up a later rounder that turns out to be a wilson or kaperdick all the better.

    But not this fucking draft lad. Let's allow a real GM and HC to fix the gaping holes left by the to imposters who just left. Then, next year we can go QB, LB, and FS in rds 1 and 2 (yes, emery will get us an extra 2nd next year somehow).

    Bang! Bang!

  • two

  • Let's see how it plays out.. One thing is for sure, no one knows what Phil Emery will do.

  • A lot of teams passed Tom six times. Joe Cool was passed over 81 times. Welker, Arian Foster, Night Train lane, Kurt Warner, Warren Moon weren't even drafted. Maybe Emery finds some undrafted gold this year.

  • A Warren Moon drop. Bitchin'

  • In reply to gpldan:

    You get 1 blog point for that.

  • With "Bushrod" available?

  • But if he fell to the second round then there's some serious questions concerning his ability to play the quarterback position.

  • "Louis started 11 games last season before suffering a torn ACL in a Nov. 25 game against the Minnesota Vikings at Soldier Field. Louis was injured on an illegal hit by Vikings defensive end Jared Allen."

    I forgot that. Hill-billy scumbag.

  • Carson Barkley, eh? I meant Matt Palmer, sorry.

    Blech. Let the Bills take him at 8.

    He can be this year's Ponder.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Unless Eugene Cyril Blaine "Geno" Smith-Gabbert beats him to it.

  • Also, Matthew Broderick's last good role was chasing down Professor Falken. Or maybe with Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago.

    He SUCKED IT as Feynman. SUCKED - IT.

    Ever since he married the space monkey as a cover story, he's been relegated to starring with Nathan Lane. Nothing more.

    Want a kick ass Feynman? I got your Feynman right here


  • In reply to gpldan:

    Dude, I WISH I could do walkin man. That is the best fucking impression. So awesome. WISH I could do that.

  • If Warmack AND Cooper are on the board at 20, you pick Cooper.


    Fuck Mel Kiper and his Cowboys with Warmack at 18. Fuck him.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Ermahgerd, if Warmack falls to us you select him. You select the shit out of him and don't look back.

  • In reply to Shady:



  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • Any Wisconsin linemen coming out this year? I don't care who they are, if they are available in Rd,3,4,5 fucking pick them. If you can make Monte Ball gain 200yds a game you deserve to go to the pros.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    The Crimson Tide O-Line was equally if not more impressive this season. Warmack, Fluker, Jones yes yes and yes please.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I distinctly recall the Bear Jew being a Badger.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    indeed, as was Moffit. Carimi will be better this year. I think that knee was a little creaky last year. If not?? ......keel heem.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Some scouts have WI center Travis Frederick as the top center in the draft, but others think he will be a better guard in the NFL. He played guard his sophomore year, then moved to center last year taking over for Konz. The dude is 6'4" and 338 pounds. The only mock draft I looked at had him going in the third round. The OL struggled early last year, but became above average as the year went along. WI fired their new OL coach last year about 3-4 games in.

    I was never big on Carimi because of his pass blocking in college, but he was going against 3 or 4 first round picks at DE. Moffitt was the guy I was pushing for the Bears to get, but he's been hurt each of his 1st two seasons. I don't recall him having injury problems in college either. The few times I seen him play for Seattle he looked pretty good.

  • If the Bears draft Warmack I will literally buy a round for every Bears fan at the bar.

  • H'lo boys. Blogfather, isn't it time for a new post. Lotsa comments here.

    I don't like Lance leaving. But he got a 1-yr deal from the Dolphins. One. Year. That tells me that the Bears were very worried about his knee. And/or they think the OL issues can be solved without the (arguably) best OL on the team last year.

    This tells me Carimi is pencilled in for RG, Webb at RT. Garza needs to be replaced at Center, but there is plenty of upgradeability in this draft class. I do not see the Bears spending the #20 pick on an OG. OG is the least valuable position on the team and in the draft (after kickers/punters, of course), especially as a "failed" OT can be slid inside and be an excellent OG.

    Emery is a smart cookie. I don't see him spending #20 on an OG. I think we're going to see a lot of flash and hear a lot of noise, in an effort to get a trade offer. Bears move down, they can still get a quality LB with their first pick, and re-load the OL with their #2 and #3 pick (meaning, they trade down, they get a pick in round 3).

    Unless a top-3 OT falls in Emery's lap (I can see him taking Fluker and consigning Webb to perpetual backup), he's either going LB or working a trade. I would not be surprised by Emery taking a poor trade deal, too, just to get a 3rd-round shot.

    So, no trade? R1 Ogletree if he's there. R2 BOLA (Best O-lineman available) R4 Barrett Jones if he's fallen because of his foot, speedy WR if he's gone (or if the foot is too much of a concern to take a R4 flyer on Jones).

    Trade? R1 BPA between LB and OL (my thinking is OLB Brown), R2 BPA LB/OL (whichever the pick wasn't in R1, so maybe Pugh from Syracuse), R3 Jones or speedy WR, R4 Jones or speedy WR.

    I'm concerned about the OLine, but I think this year Emery moves all-in. Signing Bushrod and Black Unicorn tells me he's trying to give Cutty all the tools he possibly can, and that ain't gonna happen without drafting at least 2 O-linemen.

    At the same time, Lack & Roach are gone, and while their replacements are probably going to be upgrades, they're on short contracts and Briggs is getting up there. LB is a drafting priority, especially when there are some interesting choices available.

    Fuck no on Te'o. Fake girlfriend aside, I wouldn't want him. He got eaten alive in the biggest game of his career, he has to get favorable pro-day times to be considered "average," and his lockerroom presence isn't a positive--and the Bears definitely need a vocal, respected leader in the defensive lockerroom. Pepp is quiet; Briggs likes to be the joker who just does his thing on the field, and Peanut is a CB. I don't know that any of the draft crop of LBs can make up Lack's leadership void, but if it's Ogletree or Brown, at least their play can do their talking this year, and in a few years, they can be legit leaders.

    I'm rambling, but it's been a while since I posted.

    This is going to be a good team, fellas. Better than last year. Barring injury, as long as Emery drafts smart, the O-line is going to be head and shoulders better than last year. The defense, while long in the tooth, is gonna be good. This is the time to start the run. I would say that fewer than 2 Superbowl appearances in Trestman's first contract (4 years? or did he sign for 5?) and this Cutler/Emery/Trestman era is a failure.

  • Oh, my personal wish list (if it wasn't obvious above):
    LB with one of first two picks.
    If not LB in Round 1, OT. If LB in Round 1, OT/OG in Round 2.
    Someone to replace Garza at C.
    Speedy WR. I don't care if he's a smurf, as long as he can run a route and leave a cloud of smoke behind him.
    A developmental LB or CB.
    An under-the-radar QB prospect. Unless Blanchard is gonna be that guy.

    I'd also be willing to take late-round chances on Terron Armstead (OT, Arkansas Pine-Bluff... 6'4", 306, 4.71 40) or Terrell Sinkfield (WR, Northern Iowa, ran the 4.19 40).

  • Can anyone explain this to me????...10 mil and you want out...TEN FUCKING MIL AND YOU WANT OUT!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!

    Even the "lach sheite"..and you all know I love'm..btw not that way Behouches!!!! "not that there's anything wrong with that"....

    Lach your'e offered 2 mil and it's a slap..how about last year 8.5 and the previous years...so were those slaps in our faces then????

    and GP thanks for putting into context with his other endorsements...these guys have to many fucking hits to the head!!!

  • I love Cooper or Warmack at 20. Cooper can play center if we need him too.

    I'm one of the few kids in my generation that know when this plays.. shit is about to go down. In a more serious note, I can't put into words how perfect and awesome this movie is. Not a top ten but a top ten you watch with dad or grandfather.


  • classic..R2.......

    so Is E-Train Clint- LDL- Van Cleef and who plays Wallach...MT?

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    If my grandfather had never said anything, I would have never noticed that Lee Van Cleef finger was messed up.

    That guy was a great bad guy.

  • Metallica always played Ennio Mariconne before hitting the stage

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Specifically Ecstasy of Gold


  • In reply to gpldan:

    I was just gonna say the same thing. The And Justice For All tour they opened a few shows I seen with Ecstasy of Gold. Queensryche was the opening band on their Operation Mindcrime tour. Great shows.

    Love that whole movie soundtrack of G,B,U.

  • Unforgiven is better (imo):


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    One of my all-time faves. I love revenge flicks. I watch it every time it's on a channel with no commercials.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    That's because Unforgiven is actually a movie, rather than a caricature of one.

  • A far better investment of eight minutes in my book...

  • http://uncrate.com/stuff/grand-theft-auto-v/

    Never really got into it, but looks pretty bad ass.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Oh. Now this is nice.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If MW3 is coke, GTA is crack. Once you pop you can't stop. Stay away.

  • Am I out of my gourd for thinking the beloved will draft a QB in the 1st or 2nd round? Idk but I just have this sneaking suspicion.

  • IDK let's ask Yonny.

    Yonny, you think this joto is right?

  • In reply to Shady:

    the set up.

    Fuck that shit. We take a fucking QB in rd one this year and I will go see emery next time I'm in chi and personally kick his fucking ass.

    you hav GOTS to be kidding me maings.

  • In reply to Shady:

    lol, i can picture the way my guy used to say Yonny. He loved me because I was a hard worker and told me that I worked "like a mexican"....which felt racist but he was mexican so he could say it.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    If another Mexican tells you you work like a Mexican, that's like a Samurai saying you got bad ass sword skills. Don't get much better (unless you're a nerfherder).


  • Sac I think your cosmic awareness needs a tuneup. No way on a QB in the first two rounds.

  • Why not? Cutty goes down in pre-season and whaddaya got?

  • Emery was real big last year on making it clear we need a real QB on the bench. Blanchard may be it, but I would not count on that. Definitely need a third - preferably a "proven" vet.

  • Check this.


    The breeder of my dogs sent me this link. She was the breeder featured in the episode. So all the live footage of their new litter running around that yard was shot at their house. Pretty cool… all the little pups in the shots are my dog's cousins.

    Also… 'tough to train'… HA! that’s the fucking understatement of the century. Such awesome little dogs though.

  • Clap your hands and substitute "DJ Williams"


  • http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-miami-dolphins-new-logo-20130328,0,1631520.story

    No more helmet to helmet hits for the fish.

  • Todd McShay mocks that Bears will grab Tyler Eifert in first round and Kevin Minter in second. I think TE is first-round long shot.

    That has to be old jeff... that was up there two weeks ago before we got the black unicorn.

    As much as a douche as McShay is, he can't be that fucking turrible.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    No way we pick TE without getting OL first. It's just not reasonable. We need to address the loss of Louis, the shittiness of Webb and the unknown extent of injury of Carimi.

    1. OL
    2. OL
    4. whatever the fuck you want Phil
    5. whatever the fuck you want Phil
    6. whatever the fuck you want Phil

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    Amen Brother!

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:


  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    I amend....

    1. OL
    2. OL
    4. OL (Jones)
    5. whatever the fuck you want Phil
    6. whatever the fuck you want Phil

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    It's supposed to be hot off the presses. The more you read mock drafts the more you realize most of them have no idea about team needs. Every year they have us taking people we never select.

  • Wank like an Egyptian:


    Get it? Bangles humor rocks. I self-award 500 blog points.

    Susanna Hoffs is STILL do-able, although the mileage is creeping up:


  • In reply to gpldan:

    What the hell is "sexless porn"? Isn't that a contradiction in terms? Or is THIS considered sexless porn?


  • Hahahahaha... arab porn looks something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWd94AfwE7c

    like two sheets fucking?

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    The Robert Mapplethorpe Children's Museum just opened up in Queens. Fun for the whole family.


  • In reply to The Fifth:


    That would be the best museum ever.

    When I went to see Andy Warhol at LACMA over here, I was somewhat disappointed.

    I was expecting it to be like that Doors scene where hot models were giving BJs on the dance floor while weird psychedelic strobe lights spun on the walls.

    Instead, it was a bunch of fat bald yuppies walking around with fanny packs and strollers.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    jesus christ, you have got to be fucking kidding me.

    I am still traumatized by his piece where he's bentover with a bullwhip up his ass... and that was in college where I was almost an art history minor.

    Think I'd take my fucking kids to that?!!? Jesus christ.

  • If we don't get OG Moore in FA (He actually grades out higher than Louis, and isn't coming off an ACL inj), then that means Emery is ready to ride with Carimi and Brown at G.

    Keep this in mind too. Emery is on record as "being open for business" to trade down, which means 4 possibilities.

    1. He doesn't believe either Warmack or Cooper will be available at 20 (very likely).

    2. He believes that either Warmack or Cooper will be available in the late 20s (not bloody likely).

    3. He's not targeting either Warmack or Cooper in the 1st because he's comfortable with the Carimi and Brown combo.

    4. Wants to trade down and with that extra pick draft an OG like Warford or Pugh.

    In sum, the chances of us drafting Warmack or Cooper look slim to none, and slim is saddling up.

  • He can't be comfortable with Brown/Carimi. Brown didn't play enough and Carimi was beyond awful last year.

  • With only a few picks I wouldn't be surprised if he trades out of first, picks a couple of guys in the later rounds, and then we're all going WTF? on draft day.

    So if the two guards are gone by 20 doesn't that elave us a chance of getting a decent LB/CB/DE ? Get the top center in the 2nd and it wouldn't be too bad. Surely Center is now a priority over Guard? We have various guys to play guard, but no center. Sorry Roberto.

  • Todd McShay is an ass-hat. I never trust what he says. I feel like ESPN just created him like Max Headroom to be a foil to Kiper.

    IMO, there's only but a few real draft experts who watch a shit load of film year round and provided valid analysis which somewhat reflects what GMs and scouts are seeing.

    - Nawrocki from PFW
    - Mayock from NFL network
    - Kiper from ESPN

    Those guys not only watch film, but anonymously interview a lot of scouts, GM and personnel men who currently work with teams to convey a consensus.

    Naturally, some of it is smokescreen, but they tend to be the most accurate about how prospects are ranked.

    What they (and every other 'Drafnik") suck at is predicting who goes where because of all the trades, but the value of prospects rarely drops or rises much from their projections.

  • Kiper? Are you kidding me? He's worse than a weatherman.

    Mayock is good.

    The guy from NFLDraftCountdown.com used to be damn good. Now it seems like he's phoning it in.

  • Kiper is good at evaluating talent. He just sucks donkey balls when it comes to who's drafting them.

    I like Mayock and Nawrocki over Kiper, but he's a good guy to listen to.

    Russ Lande at National Football Post
    and Charlie at Walter Football

    Those guys are decent too, but just not as "connected" as those other guys.

  • I don't mean to dampen the mood but is anyone keeping abreast of the huge penis comparing contest between the US and North Korea?

    Normally i'd say that no one is dumb enough to start a nuclear war with us but then again no one ever accused the North Koreans of using common sense when it comes to doing anything possible to keep their people enslaved and the perception that the Kim Jong family are descendants of the gods.

  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    and then this gem:


  • In reply to Cutler’s Agent:

    bomb the fuck out of that little bitch. Just leave a fucking smoking crater where his house used to be. Honestly, enough already.

    And while you're at it, give one of the same to the fucking iranians. tired of this shit.

  • Interesting... if I were doing it, I'd make sure some was edible.


  • Why does everyone seemed convinced that Carimi can play guard? He was benched at guard last year faster than he was benched at tackle. He sucked a bag o dicks at guard.

  • I'm hoping it was the lingering injury to the knee and not the other alternative which is that he truly fucking sucks.

    Let's see how camp plays out. Bring in a FA in the meantime, draft at least 2 OL and get that New Orleans Saints offensive tempo going.

  • In reply to Jokey:

    ACL tear-ee replaced by ACL tearer: Slauson gained unwanted notoriety last season in a Monday night game for his peelback cut block on Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing, who suffered a torn ACL on the play. The NFL has outlawed similar plays this offseason.

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