Tackling the NFL's "Gay Problem"

Tackling the NFL's "Gay Problem"

Two things should be stated at the outset of this column.

Item #1. I have no evidence nor have I read any evidence that former Notre Dame linebacker and future NFL millionaire Manti Te'o is homosexual. For the purposes of this piece that is actually unimportant. When Katie Couric asks you if you're gay on national television in front of a zillion people, the topic has been raised.

Item #2. I make my literary living writing for the theatre and, for half that time, the musical theatre. Homosexuals are as normal to my daily existence as iced coffee. I have no issue with their sexual behavior. I just hate it when they're fucking late to rehearsal. (Side note: This has far more to do with them being actors than it does with their sexuality.)

Many of the NFL scouts and GMs interviewing Manti Te'o at this week's Combine have asked about his sexuality. They are not asking because of personal bias - Bill Belichick went to Wesleyan for Christ's sake. They are asking but they're keenly aware of an overwhelming bias existing in their locker rooms.

The never dull lightning rod of a columnist called Jason Whitlock believes the NFL has a gay dilemma and believes Roger Goodell is tasked with solving it. Whitlock poignantly writes:

Let’s be honest. I think it’s reasonable to assume that 15 percent of NFL players are gay and/or bisexual. Generally speaking, they’re forced to conceal their sexuality out of fear of being ostracized and potentially released from the team.

They need to be set free, released from the grip of the most hostile work environment in America. Is there a more homophobic work setting than a football locker room? I can’t think of one.

I grew up in a football locker room. We wore our homophobia like a badge of honor. No one thought twice about using the F-word that rhymes with rag. Being gay was viewed as a disease that stripped you of all masculinity and most of your integrity.

This is expertly written but missing one key component.

Whitlock's contention is that Goodell - through partnerships and penalties can help open the door for a homosexual to come freely out of the closet and into the locker room. This has not been achieved in any American sport but Whitlock believes it can happen in the NFL - America's most masculine and violent of sports - with the help of the folks on Park Avenue.

But one needs to look no further than the world's football to understand how naive an opinion that is. For the past decade FIFA, UEFA and a host of soccer federations have launched an aerial assault against racism both on and off the pitch. What has that organizational attack reaped? Higher tensions, monkey chants and banana peels thrown onto the pitches across Eastern Europe (literally) and everything surrounding the Ferdinands and Mario Balotelli.

Anti-gay sentiment will not exit NFL locker rooms because Roger Goodell does a commercial with GLAAD or invites Harvey Fierstein to announce the first pick of April's draft. It will not exit NFL locker rooms because Goodell takes the Chicago Bears to see a Mario Cantone show. It will not exit the NFL locker room because like it or not the institution of the NFL is not IN their own team locker rooms.

After all, is the government in the living rooms of all those who hold anti-gay stances? Will any amount of gay marriage legalization influence the millions of Americans receiving their anti-gay instruction from velvet-draped megachurch stages across the map?

Aye, there's the lighthouse.

We somehow forget how religious professional athletes are. We forget that an overwhelming majority of NFL players are African-Americans and rural whites - two groups that wear their love of the lord around their necks. We forget that these individuals do not treat homosexuals with the same rancor white baseball treated Jackie Robinson and those who followed. They don't just historically hate gays. They believe "gay" is evil. They believe "gay" is an affront to their god. And one needs only to look at the Twitter feeds of the NFL's more vocal to know where they place god's opinion on their list of priorities.

So how can the NFL become a safe place for a homosexual to exist? The players must make it so. But that will not come to pass until more of the NFL is as outspoken as Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo have been. That day will not come until religious institutions around this country stop hand-feeding an atmosphere of hate/rejection and begin embracing what I believed to be their primary means for existence: love and acceptance.

Some of you will read this column and believe I am advocating a change in the stance on homosexuality by various religions. I am not. I could care less what is taught in churches because I only ever set foot in them to watch two fools get married or mourn the loss of a life. I give no more authority to the Catholic Church than I give the local Elks Club and the church doesn't have the courtesy to sell me cheap beer. What I do acknowledge is the influence of organized religion.

The "problem" - if you choose to believe there is a problem with bigotry towards a large group of human beings - is Sunday. Not the Sunday you're thinking of. Instead of Jason Whitlock foolishly believing the power to change an individual's deeply held belief rests with a sport's commissioner, he might turn his attention to where these beliefs originate: the pulpit.


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  • Nicely put my man.

  • In reply to Marlena Riddell:

    Hey bebbe .....

  • Well written Jeff, but I think asking anyone to take religion out of sports is wishful thinking. In fact, it's more likely that the league will accept gays before it abandons religion. I mean, isn't the most exciting play in the game called a "Hail Mary"? The only way things are going to change is if current or former players come out. Plural. And not just any players, but a great players. If Steve Young and Jerry Rice came out and said they were gay, we could finally move on as a society and say it doesn't matter, let's just play football.

  • In reply to Shady:

    you're still up!?!?!


    So. Awesome.

  • In reply to Shady:

    troy aikman is DEF gay.... NTTAWWT

  • In reply to Shady:

    The football fans in my area are no less racist than the non-football fans. They love Mike Wallace and James Harrison and every other black athlete on the home team, but they still hate blacks. They hate gays, but they'd take a gay Adrian Peterson in a heartbeat and love him just as much as they love Bam Morris and Franco Harris. A few gay Hall-of-Famers won't change their opinion of male homosexuality. We're not going to "move on as a society" until we move on.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I think society is reasy to moce on, we've provent it. My point was that every social/civil rights movement has a figurehead. Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier regardless of the bigots around him and changed the game. The gay rights movement needs their own figurehead so players can feel comfortable in being openly gay.

    I'm not saying being gay is like being black in the 60s, obviously you can't be in the closet as a person of color, but there are certainly similarities. Like robinson endured, it will take a tremendous amount of courage to bear the brunt of discrimination from not only outside the locker room, but from his teammates as well.

  • In reply to Shady:

    That's why I'm coming out of the closet right now - to give others on Da Blog courage to be gay.

    Come on out now, ladies. Don't be afraid, I'm gay as the gay fudge Packer photo at the top of the post.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Jerry Rice is totally gay (NTTAWWT) - I was just watching a documentary on him the other day and he said "I had to look good, that was the most important thing for me ..."
    Not hitting the weights, not his diet ... but having the towel positioned in his pants correctly, shirt tucked in etc.

    Now, do we really want Nick Roach at MLB ....

    Let's see ...... Butkus ... Bill George .... Singletary ... Urlacher .... Roach. Bueller ?

    Roach is the OLB ... so who goes in for Roach as if we don't know ? Whichever way you dice it ... we need a linebacker - but suppose it turns out Manti IS gay (NTTAWWT) ... what then ? Do the oldest franchise in the NFL with the reputation for wood-bringing Mikes go through the media circus of having a pillow-biter in the position (NTTAWWBitingPillows).

  • It would be symbolic for the Bears to do it. There's perhaps no more "macho" position than MLB, and there's perhaps no more macho legendary MLB team than the Bears.

    IF Te'o came out, got drafte by the Bears and Butkus said, "I don't care. Can he tackle?", who would dare disapprove besides some Koran burning reverends here and there?

    The problem is that Te'o WON'T come out like that. If anything, he'll be found tapping someone's shoes in the next shitter, or banging a bunch of bums in park restroom like George Michaels and THAT the Bears do NOT need.

  • Your Bears MLB lineage is severely flawed. While it does flow from George directly to Butkus, they are several mere mortals (or less) filling space between Butkus and Sammurai and Sammurai Urlacher.

    The concept that the Bears can just plug in another star at MLB is deluded.

    And it wasn't like Singletary had "HALL OF FAME" tattooed on his forehead, either. He was a 2nd round pick who didn't start until his 7th pro game.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Didn't Buffone man the middle for about 10 years? I thought he was the MLB when I was a little kid. Or was he an OLB?

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Buffone was on the outside. To Buktus' left , I believe. 55 replaced another great Bears OLB, Joe Fortunato.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Found this list of Bears MLBs floating out there:

    BILL GEORGE: 1955 - 1965
    DICK BUTKUS: 1965 - 1973
    DAN RIVES: 1974
    LARRY ELY: 1975
    DON RIVES: 1976
    TOM HICKS: 1977 - 1980
    MIKE SINGLETARY: 1981 - 1992
    DANTE JONES: 1993 - 1994
    JOE CAIN: 1995
    BRYAN COX: 1996 - 1997
    BARRY MINTER:1998 - 1999

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Jebus - I had a 7 year blackout that started in 1993 ....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Famous quote:

    "The minute the guy walked into camp, I started packing my gear. There was no way he wasn't going to be great!"

    - Bill George on Dick Butkus.

  • These comments might quickly devolve into religious arguments, but devolves into metaphysical debates which essential sound like, "Unicorns are better animals than Dragons", so I'll TRY to limit my diatribe.

    I think the "homophobia" in the locker room involves many factors.

    1. Young males in a group throw about very offensive terms among each other. That's just the way it is. The weird part about the NFL is that all those young males are at a work place, but their work place is almost like a frat atmosphere, or at least the coaches want teammates to not only be professional but also friendly - a team. The bonding that goes on in locker rooms naturally leads to becoming chummy, and young male friends fuck around with each other and throw around words like "fag" "bitch" "retard" "fat fuck" (and other offensive language which I'll omit) in jest. That's just the way it is. Can Goodell legislate that out? I don't think so. All he can do is make try his best to uphold the workplace laws to fight discrimination, but aside from going all Big Brother, I can't see how he can effectively censor such banter in the locker room.

    2. The Religious as you stated. Obviously a large portion of NFL players are religious, and no way their belief is going to change because a commissioner tells them to. You can't logically dissuade someone from believing that Leviticus isn't the word of God. Try it. I dare you. But ironically I don't really think the religious are the most homophobic. Sure, some are, but it's been my experience at least that they treat gays with pity more than anger (not that gays prefer that). It's more like, "I'll pray for you," rather than "Get away from me homo."

    3. Straight homophobia. Nothing superficial or religious about it; some just find gays repugnant, and when you get those guys in a work environment where they must have intimate contact with other males, or shower near them, that usually is not a good combination if said males were openly gay. I don't think there's anything Goodell can do to change this person. Tension will exist even if it's spoken. However, I do think that truly homophobic players in the NFL are in the minority these days.

    The majority of players I would argue are "benevolently homophobic" which seems a contradiction in terms, but what I mean by that is that many players might throw around "fag" or "queer" or "butt pirate" or other derogatory terms somewhat unconsciously and if you were to ask them privately, "Do you hate gays?" many would be shocked by the question. To them, they're just screwing around. If the NFL is serious about trying to change the locker room culture, then it'll have to begin with the coaches and personnel men who are in those locker rooms monitoring gay slurs, just like any other slurs. It'll be something as simple as, "Hey, man, can't say that." maybe some punishment like crabcrawls or a "swear" jar to sort of promote it, but nothing excessive.

    The religious like I said shouldn't protest too much because they treat homosexuality like any other sin - I mean, how many adulterers, liars, boozers and wife beaters are on teams at any given time, and they seem to put up with them ok.

    The homophobic will just have to fall in line or follow another line of work. If you don't want to take a shower in front of another gay man, then just wait till you get home (that's what I did in HS when I didn't feel comfortable walking around nude with other dudes whose schlong was swaying).

  • Jebus, forgive all my typos and ESL level rantings...it's late.

    It's kinda funny that this topic came up because I just finished watching "Chasing Amy"...


    Also, nothing gay related, but funny nonetheless...


  • Fantastic comment. Thanks.

  • In reply to Jeff Hughes:

    What bothers me is the immediate assumption from folks—like you, Jeff, who say they only ever set foot in church for marriages and funerals—that Christianity teaches people to hate homosexuals. How would you know?

    I’m a Christian, and no, I don’t believe homosexuality is okay in the eyes of God. That, however, has absolutely nothing to with homophobia and bigotry. Believing something is wrong does not equate to hatred.

    Jesus Christ himself consorted with all manner of sinners, including prostitutes. He offered paradise to the one who hung beside him on a cross. That’s love.

    I am an advocate for gay rights because the fact of the matter is that I also believe I’m no better than anyone else. And my love extends to homosexuals and heterosexuals alike. So does God’s. My church teaches that.

    Sadly, the majority of people of preach tolerance and acceptance are the least tolerant of all. It’s those people who refuse to accept my beliefs and label me as a bigot because of them. It’s the greatest of all hypocritical behavior.

  • In reply to Adam Oestmann:

    I wrote a very long post re: your comment adam, but I erased it all. it's pointless trying to speak logic to people with beliefs like you.

    Let me sum up the 8 paragraphs I wrote and then erased....

    "It’s the greatest of all hypocritical behavior."

    This has to be the true definition of irony. Has to be.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Maybe Adam attends the "1st National Church of Happy Smiley Christians without strict reading of that book, and also good pancakes."

    I hear the pancake socials are EXCELLENT.

    As for the rest of the Christians, well...

    You got the Catholics....




    And so on. There's even a church by church breakdown on Wikipedia:


    Pretty much all of them are against it. Some are a bit more militant than others, but none of them are silent on the issue.

    I'm for banning the crack-back block in the 2013 rule changes. That's what I am for.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I think his beliefs are pretty mainstream MB. Not at all judgmental but rather matter of fact. He doesnt consider himself better than anyone and doesnt think his own sins are any less than any others. I have to say he runs pretty much the same as I do.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    To each his own, brother. The answer to the question of the Creator is unknowable. Fighting over it is pointless. Replace 'love' for 'God' and let's all get worshipping. Peace out.

  • In reply to Adam Oestmann:

    Today, Christ would likely have been diagnosed as either Schizophrenic or Bi-Polar and heavily medicated.

  • fb_avatar
    In reply to Adam Oestmann:

    Here's something I don't get. Christians (I was raised a Catholic but quit the team somewhere along the way) profess a love of Christ and his teachings but they are constantly cherry-picking crazy stuff from the Old Testament to justify their bigotry. They like calling themselves Christians but don't really like what Christ was actually preaching.

    Not unlike some who profess love of the founding fathers but don't approve of much they created.

  • fb_avatar

    Great points made here and #3 drives it home. I think it's a great advantage that the preponderance of the religious in the NFL are, by nature, still flawed or complicated individuals that operate in a world of moral relativism. They may be praising God and Jesus for many things but not in the same way those certified nutjobs at Westboro Baptist do.

    The chances of fixing the language in the locker room is pretty much nil. It's not that practical to attempt to force players to have verbal sensitivity toward any ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, or sexual proclivity in a locker room. The very nature of that room is designed to incite fire and passion in players and this isn't the Oxford University Croquet Club demographic. Everybody has to have a pretty thick skin to be there in the first place.

    In High School football you have kids in a very fragile emotional state and words wound differently then. In the NFL these men are adults who are there for their ability to defend themselves physically and be emotionally capable of withstanding any of the stresses that can affect their game. While it won't be easy to be out in the NFL at least they aren't some poor kid who is not remotely equipped to handle the fallout.

    I just don't see that high of a percentage of the players being truly homophobic either. I think the majority of the "I don't necessarily like it but I'll deal with it because the game is the most important part" players will rule the day.

  • In reply to Susan Geissler:

    Welcome sister.

    The very best of luck to the first openly gay middle linebacker that comes out in the NFL, and so say all of us. Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.

    But let it be in San Francisco

  • "but their work place is almost like a frat atmosphere"

    I think you unintentionally just coined "fratmosphere".

    It will forever be in my lexicon along with "preparanoia" and "praycism".

  • Off topic but this irked me:

    "For the past decade FIFA, UEFA and a host of soccer federations have launched an aerial assault against racism both on and off the pitch"

    They really haven't. Eastern Europe is the worst, but even Central and Western Europe are really bad and there are essentially no penalties for fans being rascist. A great example of this is to look at the mess between England and Serbia a few months back.

    I would also recommend this article to you Jeff, up once a week and highlights all that's wrong in football


  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Good example from this piece from November:

    Clamping down last week: Israeli referee Orel Greenfeld, showing Hapoel Tel Aviv's Toto Tamuz a second yellow card for "crowd provocation" after the player reacted to Beitar Jerusalem fans throwing bananas at him and chanting "Give Toto a banana" by putting his finger to his lips in a "hush gesture". Beitar say Hapoel's post-match protest to the FA over the red card was just "an attempt to vilify the Beitar fans. Hapoel should restrain Tamuz, who provokes the Beitar fans every time the teams meet. It is about time Tamuz gets the punishment he deserves for his provocative behaviour."

    and from last week's article:

    €15,000: Inter's latest fine last week after fans aimed racist chants at Mario Balotelli, including "there are no black Italians". €15,000: Napoli's fine last week after a fan shone a laser pen at a referee.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    My point was the institutions in both cases HAVE launched those attacks. Before every major European match the players give anti-racism speeches to the crowd. None of it works.

    FIFA spent nearly $50 million on their anti-racism work prior to the South African WC.

  • In reply to Jeff Hughes:

    But that money hasn't really done anything. Their attempts at controlling the situation amount to a slap on the wrist, if that at all, to offending clubs. They mights as well have said that they weren't going to address it, rather than all the schemes they come up with.

    If the $50M figure you give is accurate, what exactly has it been spent on? Consider as well that FIFA rake in hundreds of millions at each world cup (apparently aiming for over $1billion profit at Rio), you could certainly argue that they should be putting in more cash than that to eradicate the problem.

    There are simpler solutions to......bans for clubs, massive point reductions, life time bans for fans found guilty, transfer embargos....none of these are done. But even if they did implement this, would UEFA kick, say, Barcelona, out of the Champions League, even if their fans/players were guilty of rampant rascism week in week out? Of course they wouldn't because then one of the golden geese of modern football would stop laying eggs.

    Football is too corrupt and it all starts with FIFA. It's an exploitative buddy system where everyone lies, cheats, bribes and it won't change because it's an easy buck for all involved. Heck, all of this deceit is one of the main reasons I started following the NFL in the first place...

    Right I'm ranting. I'll cut this off. I do enjoy the football chat though Jeff, always interesting to see different views from the usual folk that I converse with about it.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Beg to differ. I support Leeds Utd. Hadji -Diouf got called a racist name by a milwall spectator and they got banned from attending matches for 5 years.


  • You support Leeds? You poor poor soul.

    It's not the worst in the UK though. Take a look around Europe. Nothing gets done. Some examples:

    1) http://edition.cnn.com/2007/SPORT/football/03/26/lithuania.chants/index.html

    No real punishment given.

    2) http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/dec/13/england-under-21-serbia-brawl

    Ubsurd outcome.

    3) http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20770678

    Nothing done.

    4) http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2004/nov/19/football.spain

    Nothing done.

    I picked a few examples from over the last decade, but I could easily keep going on.

    I would like to highlight in particular link 3 given above, given that Zenit are progressing in the Europa league and doing well in their home league. A fine does nothing - Zenit are owned by billionaires. Thus, a severe points reduction or ban from Europe should be the path to go.

  • 57 days till the first round! I really dont care about mixing social issues with my football. I dont need to know, or want to know what Brian Urlacher likes in the bedroom. I do have my suspicions about Devin Hester, but all I really care about is if he can return kicks or not.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Precisely Murph. The whole reason we follow sports is to get away from the daily grind of social, political, and economical manure that is constantly shoved in our faces.
    As for Manti. Gay or not , his stock has slipped considerably beginning with the national title game. Aside from playing very poorly in the biggest game of his life, he's either an extraordinary liar or the most gullible person in the draft. Add to that, he's slower than several OT's and most of the decent TE's. Why bother with him? There are much safer selections available in the draft around where he will likely be selected. It's a non starter in my book. Who cares if he's into dudes if we can take a player with a much higher probability of NFL success?

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    The second guy ranked looks like a better bet anyway ... fast, hard hitter.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    why do you have suspicions? the man seems to be allergic to man-on-man contact.

  • In reply to evantonio:

    I could make a Knox lips-ass joke here, but I've been sophomoric enough for today.

  • Fairies of the Midway?

    Mincers of the Midway ......

    Mufties of the Midway .....

  • Ginny McCasky and the Chicago Bears franchise might be the most conservative in sports. I'm not sure her beliefs would allow her to accept a homersexual at Halas Hall. If Te'o came out and said he was gay, I'm sure Emery and Phillips would have to run it by the McCasky's for approval. Sad.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I don't know how you can possibly be sure of that.

  • Here's the thing...

    I listened to a radio show once around Thanksgiving season where they had someone from a vegetarian organization on to talk about Turkey substitutes. The person's position was essentially that the conditions at most slaughter houses are inhumane, and that we shouldn't buy Turkeys that aren't treated respectfully or slaughtered painlessly. Basically argued "eat Turkey if you want, but be decent about it."

    The host called BS. Kept asking hypotheticals. "What if the Turkey was treated humanely, do you have a problem then?" Answer: "But they aren't." Q: "What if they were?" A: "Well then they aren't slaughtered humanely." Q: "What if they were?" A: "Well then something else would be wrong." Q: "What if I told you that I had a turkey that followed every regulation you wanted and more?" A: "Well I would still suggest people consider trying some of the other options we have."

    Jeff said it, everybody understands it. The vast majority of NFL players are firm believers in a brand of xianity that does not abide by homosexuality. The media and similar organizations all say they aren't trying to change that religion - they just want tolerance of different views. But the players, the pastors, the fans, they call BS. These groups will not stop until we as a country hold the national view that homosexuality is a 100% normal and acceptable behavior.

    "The religious like I said shouldn't protest too much because they treat homosexuality like any other sin - I mean, how many adulterers, liars, boozers and wife beaters are on teams at any given time, and they seem to put up with them ok. " - 4ever85

    Butch writes correctly that homosexuality, for some reason, gets religious folks especially worked up. But I think the reason why a lot of players are resistent to efforts by groups like GLAAD is that they sense the real agenda. Just like the players believe that GLAAD's behavior is genuinely wrong; GLAAD's members believe that the player's religion is genuinely wrong.

    You will recall that Chris Culliver tried to be honest in how he felt prior to the Superbowl. He said honestly that he wasn't comfortable with having a gay teammate and that he wouldn't welcome one on his team. This sentiment is probably true of a large percentage of NFL players, but the media crucified Culliver. The organization said they didn't support what he said, that he would attend sensitivity training, that he wouldn't make such "hurtful, ugly, insensitive, derogatory" comments.

    To truly allow equality in the locker room, a player should be just as justified saying "Jesus doesn't want folks messing around with that stuff man" as a gay player is saying that "dusty old books and old men in the clouds need to leave me the hell alone." They can't start attacking each other, but they can't be attacked for saying how they feel either.

    Until everyone can be honest about how they really feel, this tension will never go away.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Excellent, NB, excellent. Hopefully, we will NEVER see the day when "we as a country hold the national view that homosexuality is a 100% normal and acceptable behavior."

    One could substitute a number of other qualities for "homosexuality" and/or change "behavior" to "beliefs" and it's still pretty much the same.

    The worst case scenario is a nation in which uniformity of thought prevails.

  • do you guys know what a herd of unicorns is called?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Italian wedding?

  • In reply to gpldan:


    A blessing GP, a blessing.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Please tell me you got a daughter!

    I wonder what a herd/flock of Dragons is called...probably something bad ass like a "fire-storm"

    Fact. Flock of Crows. a "murder".

  • Yes, I do $. But she has no idea what that is... I saw it on a commercial yesterday. Funny.


    a group of ravens is an unkindness.
    turkeys.... a gang.
    rihnos... a crash.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    No dragons, elves or angels, WTH!

    It's time for me to get banned from Wiki...

    Flock of Seagulls = "One hit wonder"

    Bang! Bang!

  • I think a group of dragons is called a 'fantasy'

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    An "Orgy"? Because it's so (wait for it...) Horny?

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    And we have a winner.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    bang bang al

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Get's my vote

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Charlieeeee !

  • not trying to sidestep this very interesting discussion, just can't get into it at this moment. Too heavy.

    Instead, how about horrific death by multiple sharks: http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/world/asia/new-zealand-shark-attack/index.html?hpt=hp_c3


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I can't speak for Joto, but I've heard there is no such thing as a shark attack. Or unicorns.

  • In reply to Shady:

    true... it's called dinner.

    And dragons are better 'animals' than unicorns. Unicorns can't be trusted.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Well Shady, Gilbert Arenas would definitely agree:


  • In reply to Shady:


    That phrase might not be so appropriate for this blog post... it's actually the Mexican equivalent to the English "faggot", but with maybe less Louis CK playfulness attached.

    Now, "fresita" is in the same vein, but much more light-hearted. Fresita is the "cracker" to joto's "white devil".

    Ah, Tucson call centers... thanks for the education.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Uh, Yonny?

  • In reply to Shady:

    Shady, you and my old mexican cook friend can call me Joto whenever you want.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    More people died choking themselves whilst masturbating than by shark attack last year. I get it....they're just fucking scary mang.

  • Yeah, but how many died chocking themselves while watching shark week!?

  • I've found the Elks Club throws better Fish Fries than the Catholics anyhow. Food is better.

    According to the Score this week, and I believe an SI article is forthcoming on this - teams have been essentially dancing right up to the homo question with Teo.

    I don't think they care as much IF he is a peter puffer, what they care most about is.... is he going to be the first OPENLY Gay LB in the NFL. I think they fear this guy may attempt to redeem his name by coming out once drafted.

    And that's kind of sad. The "well, let's not just not be the team that has to handle this problem" attitude. The chicken-shit way out.

    In truth, Teo is making it easy for them by showing up for weigh-in at 241 and running a 4.83. He's dropping down the board like a stone in water anyway, so I think alot of teams are happy to just kick the can down the road.

  • Bigotry is more likely learned at the knees of parents than the church. It may take a new generation to finally accept people without prejudging them because of race, sexuality, or religion.

  • Love this quote
    "We somehow forget how religious professional athletes are. We forget that an overwhelming majority of NFL players are African-Americans and rural whites - two groups that wear their love of the lord around their necks.

  • In reply to JessicaLaShawn:

    I think if he just put "rural" in front of BOTH African-Americans and Whites, it would have been more correct. After all, it's not a race thing, it's a stupidity thing. Stupidity, as we know, is color blind.

    In other news, the Cardinal in Ireland stepped down against rape charges and Benedict can't leave Vatican City, lest the possibility Interpol might ARREST him.

    Yay religion!

  • In reply to gpldan:

    The Pope's resignation is very strange indeed. God's envoy doesn't give his employer his notice,

  • We've been waiting for your conspiracy theory...

  • In reply to Shady:

    Are you conspiring to make it look like a conspiracy?

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Too conspicuous?

  • Also, this is a fight that should be led from the rear.

    (What I did there, you saw it.)

    Steve Young and Rice should just cop to what we know. That alone, two guys in Canton coming out - hand in hand even - that would be a rear-guard action (!) that would prevent guys like Teo from having to face the wrath of the universe at age 21 or 22. They can't do it. That's why Teo's answer to Katie was "far from it. far far from it." Not, unequivocally, "Katie, I eat pussy like a starving Ethiopian eats a bag of rice. Seriously, bitch, I get my feed bag on like a fucking STALLION!"

    Nope. Just "far from it". Far from what?

    Kid can't take on the fight that would ensue. Media would love that. Lots of people have an agenda in that. Teo wants to get some $ for his family. The kid is an unfortunate spectacle at this stage.

  • When I was growing up in Iowa people used to go out and beat up queers. The area was very redneck and it still has that element, only smaller. I would laugh at all the homo jokes and told lots of them but I never knew any gay people (some may have been gay but it never occurred to me).

    By HS it was obvious a few of the priests were gay. We made fun of them but for the most part nobody seemed to care. Gays were in the closet for the most part for their own safety. Over the years things have changed dramatically but very slowly.

    You can't legislate morals. Doesn't work. Never has, never will. I think young people are way less homophobic than my generation. I think it will keep going that direction and at some point people will wonder what all the fuss was about.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Yeah, well, they ain't there yet. Not in Iowa.


  • In reply to gpldan:

    Never said they were there. In North America the rural population is vastly different from the urban population. Conservative vs Liberal. Rural Iowa is very conservative and the larger cities liberal. Same here in Alberta. In rural areas anyone that is different sticks out like a sore thumb. In urban areas not so much. Almost all of it is due to stupidity and intolerance.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Canadian Rednecks. A fascinating concept.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    They own more guns too. No wonder they don't lock their doors.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • In reply to gpldan:


    wow that whole case was pretty interesting. Spoiler alert* His family and friends say he wasnt gay and the fight was actually due to an ongoing argument between the attackers 18 y/o Aunt and the victim and his friends.

  • fb_avatar

    Well put... Touchdown Jesus is loosing his mind...

  • In reply to John Feeney:

    Loosen your mind, and your butthole will follow.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    fucking LOL!

  • uhhhhggg... I know it's good for business Jeff, and it was a very nice piece, but enough with the drama already. Enough drama to cajole all the ladies over from Oprah's blog. Hiiiiii laaaaadiiiiiies!

    It's football, the bastion of manlihood (yes, I just made that word up). It won't ever change because the whole premise of the game is based on how manly your manliness is, man. Gay jokes will always be en vogue in the locker room, but I bet a whole lot of dudes don’t really give a rat’s ass about gay people’s private proclivities. As long as they’re not being openly gay towards them.

    My wager is that amongst the more intelligent/less brainwashed (i.e., religious) players, being gay isn’t a big deal as long as it’s not being thrust upon them (that one’s for GP). Kluwe and aban…abandej… abandawhateverthefuckhislastnameis are on the other hand, activists, and that’s fine too. But there has to be a middle ground where I’d say most players lie, just as there is society.

    The bottom line is that people naturally make fun of what they aren’t/don’t understand, and much of the time I would guess it’s done not to offend the group being made fun of, but just as a tool for jest. Have we really become that fucking PC that I should punch my friend in the face for messing with me for being Jewish? Or my CEO should file suit against me for always teasing him about being a dirty, untrustworthy Ozzie (they are you know, all of them spawned from a wretch of prisoners). It’s getting silly. Don’t ask, don’t tell works perfectly in the NFL, my god, let sleeping dogs lie. The NFL doesn't need a coming out party. the players can do what they want in their private lives and play football for a few months a year, the pay is good and it's well worth it I'd imagine.

    btw, I am 100% in support of gay marriage and couldn't care a less what gay people do in their private lives. I'm not a homophobe and I believe everyone should be allowed to live their lives howevertheydamnwellchoose... as long as it doesn't hurt my family or society.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I know it's early still, but I would also like to nominate this ditty of GP's as blog quote of the year:

    "Katie, I eat pussy like a starving Ethiopian eats a bag of rice. Seriously, bitch, I get my feed bag on like a fucking STALLION!"

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    +1. How could any woman resist?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Credit where credit is due, I stole line two from Louis CK.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Got the idea from Manny in Scar Face...


  • 1. acquire currency
    2. become puissant
    3. fornicate women

  • In reply to gpldan:

    +1 for puissant

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    You mean like this?


  • oh, and Jeff... I think Jessica is calling you a racist. Whoops.

  • I remember when we drafted a middle linebacker a little too slow, a little too short, lacked a little in the jump. Seems like he did ok, ended up in the HOF and one of our all time favortite Bears. All the other drills Teo did really well in. Terrrel Suggs had a horrible combine in some of his drills, seems hes doin all right in the NFL. I'd take Teo before other guys with better combine stats and a lesser college career. Our consensus "sure thing" picks of Chris Williams and Gabe Carimi haven't panned out too fucking good!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    you don't want to talk about gays and the religious zealots (I'm looking at you adam) Murph?! Fine!

    I personally think te'o is going to be a damn good football player in the NFL. If he falls far enough and comes cheap enough I would take him in a heartbeat. 40 times and cone drills don't mean shit in the nfl in the end (look at Brandon spikes). Did the Bama game put some doubt in my head about him, yes... but that team's done that over and over again every year to great teams and great players. The boy’s got field skills, period.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Amen MB, If the Bears couldnt keep Barret Jones off of Urlacher we would have seen the same result!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    I agree. But I'm still not sure I'd take him at 20.

    Now, if we can get someone like Johnson, Fisher or Warmack in the first round, I would be in favor of a similar move to what we did for Jeffery.

    A solid OT prospect, a new MLB and two mid-round BPA pickups would be a small draft class, but would fill needs nicely.

    What would I prefer?

    I'd prefer Texas to move up and take Ogletree. Let us drop back and pick up a third and maybe also a seventh. Then take Te'o at 27. We could still get a solid guy like Barrett Jones in the 2nd.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    The proper lesson, IMO, is that we need to draft Barrett Jones.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    It really depends in what system Te'o ends up in MB.

    'Lach wasn't known for shedding blocks or bringing the hammer, but that's ok in our system where the Dline sorta pushes the garbage toward the OLB, esp at Briggs.

    Lach's speciality was dropping deeper than deep and patroling the middle like a LB which along with his 6'4 height, made it really hard to attack the traditional weakness of the cover-2 (IF there was a pass rush).

    Te'o didn't look like he could shed blocks in that 'Bama game, and that didn't bother me as much as being 6'1 and running 4.8. Te'o actually does display good ball skills and instincts, but if you thought TEs damaged the Bears in the past, imagine when there's a slower, shorter less agile, no vertical MLB manning those zones.

    Teddy Bruschi himself said that if Te'o doesn't improve his 40time, that teams will have to relegate him to sub-packages for strictly run and take him out on nickles and dimes, which is played what, 40% now adays?

    That's definitely not a 1st rounder.

    I personally believe Te'o might be better suited in a 3-4 used like Ray Lewis. I'll tell you this much, I wouldn't want Te'o and Matthews on the same team.

  • * patroling the middle zones like a S

    Oggletree would have been pefect for us, but he's a headcase.

  • I thought that he did his best work in coverage? Didn't he have a lot of INTs this year? I thought his strength was quickness in pass coverage?

    Also, comparing him to lach of old isn't quite fair... I'd fathom a guess that he's better than lach's been for the last 3 years... just physically of course.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Te'o has great ball skills. Something like 7ints which is more than a lot of CBs.

    But in the NFL, TEs and WRs in general are much faster. And in a cover-2 the MLB must be pretty fast because he must drop in zone, and if it's a draw or the QB sprints out, Te'o's going to have to cover a lot of ground. Lach was fast enough to just always be omnipresent, and while not fair, that's what ANY MLB is gonna have to contend with for the next decade.

    When the ball is near Te'o, he plays it well. But in the NFL the windows are so small, that .2 seconds might make the difference between getting a finger on it, tapping it in the air, and getting an int, or watching someone score a TD on a slant right behind you.

  • great ball skills.... I see what you did there.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yes, Te'o has stick-em hands when it comes balls...

  • Unfortunately, he has no experience covering the tight end.

  • All I can say, is it's a damn good thing Trac isn't here. Holy blasphemy!

    And where'd all the women come from?

  • oprah's blog. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Laaaaaaaaaaadiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeesssssssss!

    Hey Doc, you should be a packers fan: http://www.packersnews.com/article/20130226/PKR07/302260407?nclick_check=1

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Not sure I see the connection.

  • isn't one. I was just fucking with... call me a hippy/maths bigot.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Good. I thought you were calling me gay. NTTAWWT.

  • I was.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If there was AWWT I would be pissed.

  • oh gawd yes... Trac would light this shit up!

  • In reply to Fresno,Ca Bear Fan:

    I think Jeff was baiting him to see if he's still lurking in the corner somewhere.

  • btw, rodman's doing a great job: http://twittersportsrundown.com/dennis-rodman-assumed-psy-was-from-north-korea-psy-is-not-pleased/

  • All I can say is " GET THE FUCK OVER IT"!!!!!

    .....nice post blogfader.

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    I think this is a much more powerful and poignant topic anyway lobo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pii4G8FkCA4

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • Alex Smith to KC for:

    2013 2nd round

    2014 2nd round

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    framework ...not done yet,,,think it's worth it?

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    yes, it's like they get to do the Cassel deal all over again.

    Jesus. smh.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I think Goo Goo Ga Joob Walrus Reid is about to find out that Smith is just Cassell with a haircut.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB...how the kids????

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    For them, yes. Huge piece of the puzzle. He's not flashy but he's a middle of the road starting qb which they need badly.
    "Worth it" always depends on the
    GM for me. When Angelo traded for Cutler I was thrilled. Cutler was a bonafide starter and the picks Angelo traded away were going to suck balls if he used them. In essence, Angelo gave up Gabe Carimi and Mark Bradley types to get a real quarterback. Take a team like the Patriots and the answer is probably no. They have no trouble finding talent. I always handicap the GM when I think about reciprocal trade value.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:


  • In reply to Johnnywad:


  • I don't care about the whole gay thing but we don't want this dude on our team. He's not that good. He was exposed against Bama who is more like an NFL team then anybody else ND played. If we're striking out on a 1st rounder at least let it be for a position of real need.

  • In reply to JerseyBear:

    dude, homeboy ain't going in the first. And everyone gets exposed against bama, because they are indeed most like an NFL team... as in, they could probably hang with the browns.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I think he may go in the first, I dont think the Ravens pass on him.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Before the championship game he was thought of as a top 10 pick. I just think there is no upside with him. He also seems a bit wackadoo with the whole internet girlfriend that he never met and publicly talked about. No thanks

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If Bama played a pro team a kid from Bama would die on the field or never walk again.

  • I said the Browns.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The Browns are full of players that were top level college players, just like every other NFL team. Plus, those same top players have been getting bigger and stronger every year since leaving college, they've had NFL level coaching to make them sharper and faster and more complex in the scheme they run. And they do football 24/7, more than college guys for sure.

    Browns 77, 'Bama 3. Trent Richardson alone would run for 300 yards. Weeden would look like a probowler. 'Bama would be lucky to pick up 100 yards total offense.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    guys, guys... it was a joke. I was making fun of the browns.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The Browns would absolutely DESTROY the Crimson Tide.

  • Is Delanie Walker a UFA? I think he is.

    That's Emery's guy, right there.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    thank you. I said that about 6 threads ago. I know he had drops, but dude was a walking (you saw what I did there, right?) highlight film at the end of the season.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm condemned to be 6 threads behind MB for all eternity. That's God's punishment for trying to go backdoor on Katy the nursing student in '94. I got slapped then, too.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Hahahaha... you are just on fire with the behind comments today GP.

    I'm more hurt that you lied to me... and plagiarized. You Australian or something?

  • Damn..SF has a sheite load of picks.....

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    They are gonna run into a big salary hit down the line though...think of all the guys they will have to resign/extend. They currently have around $6-7M in cap space for this season.

    This Off-Season Notable FAs: Goldson, Walker, Moss, Ginn, Sopoaga, Francois. They need WR, DL, probably CB, backup QB, K. Not a lot of money to meet that via FA and the Draft.

    Next Off-Season: Justin Smith, Whitner, Goodwin, Manningham. Can't see any of these guys returning. Maybe Manningham. Tough to replace J Smith as well. This is also the start of negotiating for a lot of big names for them for next year....

    2015 Off Season: Aldon Smith, Mike Iupati, Anthony Davis, Kaepernick (set to make less than $2M over the next to years), Crabtree, Gore. WOW. Essentially all pro bowl candidates. Kaep and Smith will be really expensive, alongside two of the best OL in the league a receiver starting to blossom and a top RB who will be 32.

    If you combine that with a lot of draft picks, you could get screwed. They perform well you gotta pay through the nose again and if they don't then you have depth problems.

    Good problems to have mind.

  • Who would be gay on the Bears roster?

  • In reply to Fresno,Ca Bear Fan:


  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    I dunno if he's gay, but Hardin is awfully fragile.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    He's got a couple of kids and has been with the same woman for a long time. Not saying he couldn't be the pivot man in the daisy chain but it seems a little unlikely.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Pivot Man would make a good name for a Trac sock puppet.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    He's way tooo sensitive! The kids and woman are either cover or he's the pivot man. hahahaha

  • In reply to Fresno,Ca Bear Fan:

    Judging from that NFL gear ad with Jay you could make a case of it being Garza...

  • In reply to Fresno,Ca Bear Fan:

    Greg Olsen ... if he was here.

  • For the thread:


  • Looks like you don't care about anything. That being the case, why did you write this article?

  • In reply to CBurton:

    and why did you post (and around and around we go)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I think he retired from doing magic.


  • In reply to gpldan:

    Man doesnt anyone read all of the follow ups to these things. Looks like he's at the Flamingo.

  • In reply to CBurton:

    Troll, troll, troll your boat...

  • J'Marcus Webb arrested for drugs. This explains a lot! searching for link now, reported by the score.

  • Now they have to replace him. Bad for JWebb. Good for me.

  • http://chicago.cbslocal.com/category/sports/

  • I wonder if his bong says "Webb Nation" on it.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    tee hee hee

  • I didn't know if his Urkel eyes were due to genetic factors or environmental.

    I guess we answered that one.

    $10 bucks says Jay dropped an "anonymous" tip.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    genetic... it's the basic look of eastern northern African peoples (Ethiopians, Somalis, etc...).

    Fucking racist.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm blind to color. You're blind to facial features.

    Nobody on that whole google search has them Jaleel eyes,

    Though, Redman here is displaying your "eastern northern" (northeastern?) African eyes. And he's from Jersey (the Bricks).

    In summation, Jamarcus and Jaleel are always high. Redman, just mostly.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    I was thinking MB planted the stuff and phoned in the tip. Kellen Davis is next.

  • JWebb Nation is ... jammin' .... we're jammin' ... I wanna jammit witchoo ....

  • I'm making $86 an hour working from home. I was shocked when my neighbour told me she was averaging $95 but I see how it works now. I feel so much freedom now that I'm my own boss. This is what I do, Fox79.com

  • In reply to JessicaParks2:

    $86 an hour isn't that much, for being a whore.

  • Coach,

    Is Fox79 code for some act? Like, do you say, "give me the Fox79"?

    Maybe the broad dresses up as Farrah Fawcett then.


  • I would be a whore for $86 an hour.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    That's fucking cheap.


  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    I saw what I did there.

  • I doubt that combine scouts and coaches are even allowed to ask the question of whether someone is gay or not because they are potential employers. This means that by federal law, he is protected from being discriminated. Nothing will be admitted until after he is drafted because really, it's about football at the end of the day. Once he is drafted, then anything that other players do will definitely be under scrutiny to see how the team and opponents treat him and I am sure that no one will be the first guy to be put on the spotlight for discriminating or doing anything wrong against Manti if he is to be gay.

  • In reply to burntorangenavyblue:

    Given how inexplicable personnel decisions in the NFL sometimes seem to be, I imagine it would be virtually impossible to prove discrimination when the time to trim the roster to 53 comes around.

  • awwwww, sooooo proud!


    Too bad the Mayans weren't right. My god man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Of all the horrible things going on in the world, this doesn't bother me one bit.

    I might be a bit annoyed if the girl was all tatted up herself, but what's the big deal? The customers obviously see what she's doing - they probably think its awesome.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    interesting. Haven't figured you out yet NB.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Agree with NB. I don't think it's a big deal as long as her Dad is there making sure it is done safely.

  • In reply to The Fifth:


  • I have this thought that NFL Scouts are doing Rorschach tests with Manti, and every image looks like a penis, and they say "tell us the first thing that comes into your mind."


    In case you didn't know, it's illegal for ANY employer to ask a prospective candidate questions about sexuality. The NFL does not get a pass on this. And, since it's been going around that his interview questions are going RIGHT THERE, there is now some lawyer blowback going on:


  • I'm going with Fisher as a surprise 1.


  • In reply to gpldan:

    Over Joeckel?

    I think they shop the pick. Can see a Cassel + 1st overall for Cardinals 1st round pick this year and whatever picks make up the rest of the outdated points system they use. Kolb then gets shipped to the Jags or some other cesspit of the NFL world.

  • Redksin fans HAVE to be apoplectic over this Patriots/Brady shell game, no?

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Meh. The problem was the media reported the deal wrong.

    The real story is that Brady got a contract that will allow him to retire a Patriot. In doing so he is earning just north of $15 million a year, which is slightly below market value for a quarterback at his level. The team is framed in a cap friendly way, so he's helping out his team. And the net gain to him this year is that he'll make $3 million more than he would have previously.

    No shell game there. Just solid work on all sides.

    The problem is, the media first reported that Brady was making less than $10 million a year for the rest of the contract and only taking a $3 million bonus. They didn't get the part about the other $30 million signing bonus (which isn't huge by modern NFL standards) that was converted from the bonus he would already have earned this year.

    So because the media screwed up three things (base salary, signing bonus, previous contract) the Patriots are evil again?

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Patriots are always evil.


  • Bahahaha! I freaking hate that group of cheaters!

  • the rose bowl one made me lol: http://www.sportspickle.com/opinion/15566/negative-yelp-reviews-of-stadiums-and-arenas-are-awesome

  • there's something really endearing about her, can't place it though: http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=89300

    She's like a hot, non-man-faced catherine webb

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    dude, man faced? lol, stop yourself.

  • I'll stop if you go do this with me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdJc1_IBKJA

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    and yes, man-faced.


    she's still hot, just a bit too much grill for me.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • Charles Haley used to just whack it like crazy in the locker room and in meetings. Perhaps he's a homo?


  • I guess no one told Haley you can't get a section 8 in the NFL


  • I remember reading that at the time. Uh, don't shake hands with Charles.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    When I started my landscaping business, the first few years I worked insane hours 7 days a week. I hated wearing gloves, so I had huge calluses all over my hands. People, male and female, would comment on the nastiness of the calluses. My standing joke was, "you think that's bad? You should see my dick."

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Good One! I love it when you can get off a good line and the other person has no idea how to respond.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    And that's why that crazy bastard isn't in the hall of Fame

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    No kidding!

  • http://www.csnchicago.com/blog/bears-talk/bears-webb-arrested-drug-charges


  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    MOUND CITY, Ill. (AP) - A prosecutor said Wednesday he will not pursue marijuana possession charges against Chicago Bears offensive lineman J'Marcus Webb, who was charged after a traffic stop in southern Illinois over the weekend.


    Can we call J'Marcus Mound City from now on? This guy needs to be riding pine at best.

  • In reply to Shady:

    see my comment to canada below

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    btw, I'll be on after I put the kids down at around 8:15 my time tonight... you know, if you want to redeem name.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Thats all right Shady, the spotlight is on and thats what counts. Hopefully they look at him with a more critical eye now.

  • Had to laugh about Webb. 11 mph over the speed limit and they search his car. Unless he was high as hell (they didn't charge him for that), the car was full of smoke, it smelled like a skunk's den or he was a complete ass (very likely), this looks like a prime case for racial profiling, I had to laugh at the comments in the Trib article. People act like he was Tony Montana on a rampage. No matter how it ends up, really stupid on Webb's part. At least it was in the off season and it was a small amount (2.5 grams).

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I only wish you could be arrested for turrible-ness... many multiple offenses. I think the DA should stack his charges.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Just be happy there was no purple drank.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Turrible, Turrible,Turrible!!! Multiple felonies!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Racial profiling, or bad Bear profiling. If I was a cop and saw him driving, I'd pull him over first opportunity he gave me in hopes of finding what they found.. Whoever those cops were, I'll take 2 tickets to the ball!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    No doubt. The most troubling part of all this is Webb was probably the best OL last year. It's between him and the Chief. Webb takes way more shit on here than Carimi and he was way better last year than Carimi. Sad but true.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Jeez, I just don't get it. These guys have to know there's a target on their backs and they'll be hung out to dry for the most picayune thing. You didn't light up all season (mandatory drug testing, right?) so just wait a bit longer until you get to where you're going. Keep your nose clean, make your money and then once your NFL career is over, discretion can go out the window...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    It's not all that difficult to pass a drug test even if you have smoked some weed. As long as it's a flash and splash and not a hair sample. 2.5 grams is really insignificant. The sherriff's dept have since dropped the charges. I'm guessing it a was a Barney Fife type deputy and the case was full of holes. My favorite comment so far was "he should have been arrested for impersonating an offensive lineman". Boo-yah!

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Unless there is some prior history I think they only get tested at the start of the season. Not sure on that one.

  • Jeff,
    You have little creditably given your statement about two poor fools getting married. You show you are bigger bigot than the people you aim this article at. Unfortunately you are arguing against mother-nature. Clean up your articles and gain some cred..Stop telling people how to think.


  • In reply to gdee:

    So um, how da like dem Bears?

  • In reply to gdee:

    ease up there trac

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Creditably? WTF is that? The ability to overdraw your credit card?

  • In reply to gdee:

    If Mother Nature had any sense she'd make a lot more of us gay.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    that is one odd comment Crunch. Surely you are joking.

  • No, not joking. There are too many people.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I'm on board with this. How about culling by IQ?

    Too controversial?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Maybe we could somehow combine that with your idea to psych test all prospective gun owners.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    OVERPOPULATION: #1 problem on earth.

    When the news says, "Not enough jobs" they should also be contractualy obligated to add "too many humans". "Not enough resources"..."too many humans." "Too much pollution"..."too many humans."

    We should still be able to send our undesirables to Australia.

  • Also TOO MUCH IGNORANCE and Austrailia has VERY tough immigration laws.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    A large cause of ignorance is bad or little education.

    Large cause of bad education is TOO MANY STUDENTS crammed into classes, not enough resources because not enough money because TOO MANY HUMANS with not enough jobs because TOO MANY HUMANS, and when there's not enough jobs crime rates soar, thus raising taxes (siphoning $ from education) to keep the highest rate of incarceration (Who strain the legal and medical system) in human history because...TOO MANY HUMANS.

    And I was just messing around with the Australia solution...sorta...

  • Here's a 2min summation of my stance via "Idiocracy".


  • hahahahahaha... bingo!

  • +100 on the idiocracy reference.

  • In reply to gdee:

    Mother-nature you say?

    "Homosexual behavior in animals refers to the documented evidence of homosexual and bisexual behavior in various (non-human) species. Such behaviors include sex, courtship, affection, pair bonding, and parenting among same-sex animal pairings. Homosexual behavior has been observed in close to 1,500 species, ranging from primates to gut worms, and is well documented for 500 of them."


    Don't believe me, just look at your male dog humping another male dog. "Oh, it's for power, and not sexual gratification." So by that definition getting ass-penetrated by another male would be contingent upon motives, so let's just simplify it and call it "gay activity".

    So, here goes the syllogism:

    Major Premise: "And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was GOOD. God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day."

    Minor Premise: At any given time, gay activity happens in "Mother Nature" (This is an UNDENIABLE EMPIRICAL OBSERVABLE INCONTROVERTIBLE FACT.)

    Conclusion: (I'll let you decide).

  • pretty amazing that pretty much everything in life can be found on southpark


  • In reply to MB30SD:


    Little known trivia. Who played the gay dog?

    Hint: he won a few "sexiest man alive", oscars, and just about every other award.

    George Clooney!

  • I actually knew that one.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    remind me to take you to trivia bars where animated gay animals are the theme.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


    Am I allowed to give out 200 points on one thread? South Park kicks ass. I love the Big Gay Al episode with all the gay animals.

    Here's another good one. The sex ed. episode. The whole episode is hilarious. Love it when Mr. Garrison and Ms. Chokesondiks get it on. And the Road Warrior scene against the boys and girls.


  • Jeff Hughes, don't hide behind Katie's skirt - as tempting as that once might have been. No one needed Couric to raise the topic.

    Any time a young man in the prime of his life chooses an online relationship instead of a real live one, "the issue" has been RAISED TO THE HEAVENS. It doesn't take Katie to ask a question.

  • In reply to TelltheTruth:

    ease up there trac

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I told the joker to use "Pivot Man" as his sock puppet's name this time.

    He never listens.

  • The Niners have a dozen draft picks. 12. Crazy.

    They would also be a potential trade partner for the Bears if a top DT falls to 20. I think if a guy like Sharrif Floyd, Sheldon Richardson or Star Lotulelei is available at 20, they can trade down and pick up the 74th overall pick (early 3rd) from the Niners which they got from Carolina.

    At 31 the Bears draft Manti Te'o and a collective groan rises from the streets of Chicago.

  • In reply to Shady:

    2nd round: OT/G Kyle Long
    3rd round: OT/G/C David Quessenberry
    4th round: TE Dion Sims

    To be continued...

  • In reply to Shady:

    Can we please pick up Barkevious Levon Mingo

    The name alone is worth our 4th

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Baby, the Mingo ate cho baby.

    I'm partial to Cornelius Wahington myself. Sounds like a name Doc would use for his hash pipe.

  • In reply to Shady:


  • In reply to Shady:

    If Emery could get the 74th and also a 5th rounder, I'd make that trade.

  • fb_avatar

    I don't agree with your statistics. If the U.S. population is 6% gay, then football is likely half that. I think the self-selection bias would lower the participation rate.

  • In reply to Bob Parkman:

    You have to factor in the worried fathers who force their effeminate sons into football to toughen them up. Then there's the straight kids who turn gay on account of the constant gay-talk in the lockeroom. The obsession with male musculature, the smell of testosterone, etc.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


  • In reply to gpldan:

    Nice blast from the past!

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    So Buttsteak, do you lik girls?


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ooooh, a probe.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I thought you meant this kind of probe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS-h6ok6LcA

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I thought that's what CNN meant when I read the url. "NFL Sexual Orientation Probe" - you'd think it would have to be anal.

  • In reply to MB30SD:



  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    wow. uhhhhh... wow.

    MB, can you please come up to the board and finish this problem please...

    ....uh, not thanks, I'll take the F.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    For all those guys that don't think Mila Kunis is hot, you might want to reconsider.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Nice try Crunch, but honestly don't think football appeals to gays (at least, not playing it). I really would be surprised if that number is 1%. Very surprised (at the NFL level).

    Now interior decorating 99% gay, 1% straight.
    Fans of Madonna, mimosas and parades is up there too.

  • does it count that I HATE tomatoes and thus can't stand bloodys... but have to have alcohol?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Bartender, "What do you want, chief?"
    MB, "Bloody Mary, hold the tomato."
    Bartender, "So, you just want a cup of Vodka with some worchester, salt and pepper, and celery stick stuck in it."
    MB, "who said anything about worchester sauce, or salt and pepper?"

  • I would guess football is very appealing to gays who think they're straight, or who insist on being straight. There are a lot of those.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    the sarcasm is strong in you young Paduwan.

  • A bad habit I picked up trolling right-wing blogs.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    umm, ok.

  • We're all set then.

  • MB - nice pick. Really nice.


  • In reply to gpldan:

    welcome GP. Agree. insane.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    how about a follow up: http://brosome.com/lauren-budd-in-sexy-little-outfits-yes-please/

    (and she's british, so she's a filthy whore)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    whaaaaat... I'm kidding. jesus.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    So photoshopped

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I know... terrible!

  • Oh My!

  • http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/on-faith/pope-live-ready-for-departure-final-meetings-for-pope-benedict-xvi-before-retirement/2013/02/28/100c470a-818c-11e2-a671-0307392de8de_story.html

    You can watch live as the Pope choppers out of the city.

    It's like the fall of Saigon.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    So, Cardinal Odilo Pedro Scherer, do you like girls?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


    No. He doesn't. Little boys though....

  • The Niners have 15 (!) picks in this year's draft.

    One way to address this, is to swap some of them for Revis.


    Always fighting last year's battles, but one way the Niners could have shut Boldin down from those key catches is to put Revis on him. The Niners CLEARLY need help at corner, safety I think is okay but their corners were awful.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Can the 9ers afford Revis though? He's getting, what, 16M this year?

    You know what's odd is that the 9ers in the regular season were ok in the secondary, but in the playoffs it seems that every secondary just got shredded (including the Broncos).

    I'm not exactly sure why.

    Also, a lot of picks don't translate to SBs (just look at the Pats).

    The 9ers have to recognize their window is now. Not because they're old, but because they have a lot of good young players on rookie contracts right now and will become a victim of their success in 2 years when they won't be able to re-sign a few of them.

    If I were the 9ers, I'd trade a 1st and a 3rd to move up and draft a play-making WR like Patterson or Allen (possibly with us). I would then trade up again and draft the best safety available, S Vaccarro or S Cyripien.

    Then, I would definitely get QB Emmanuel as insurance for Kaep, and Matihiue later, again trade up maybe a 4rth and 5th for him if need be.

    The rest of the picks I'd just go BPA, but those first 4 moves ought to strengthen their roster immediately.

  • The Niners got a top 10 receiver a couple of years back. Michael Crabtree. Worked out great. This is not the year to sell out and move up.

    The Niners have too many picks because they have a very talented, young roster. A lot of the developmental spots are already taken by guys that will hopefully replace the playmakers that leave for bigger contracts. I could see them trade up here or there, but trading picks for a big time FA this year would be a smart move.

    The Niners are about $700K over the cap and the Smith trade will process after they need to do something to shave off that extra spending. I suspect the Niners will cut at least one player to make that happen, but they could also restructure. They do not have the cap space right now to pay Revis, except that the $9 million from Alex Smith will help them get started clearing the room.

    In the long term, what they need to look to do is front load some key player contracts so that they have the space they need to absorb what will likely be a $15 million cap hit when Kapernick's rookie deal expires. Signing Revis for a year while they build their secondary through the draft is the way to do that.

    One other interesting move they could try? They could cut David Akers and his $3 million contract. There are two solid field goal kickers in the draft. Possibly both will be available at the bottom of the 5th or even the bottom of the 6th. Caleb Sturgis and Dustin Hopkins are the names.

  • As pick-up lines go .....


  • That's funny!

  • nice one Irish.

    This is quite possibly the best video bomb I've ever seen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKbEwB3dfTI

  • People were wondering what the new NFL 2nd test was, well, here it is.


  • You know, I have a pretty funny gay bears football story. How is that for topical?

    So the gal who I go out with LOVES disco songs and electronica. She won't listen to it around me (cause she knows better), but I know she'll pop it in as soon as I leave. She especially likes the Bee Gees and Diana Ross.

    Anyhow, not many straight clubs still play disco, HOWEVER, gay clubs has a heavy rotation of it, so from time to time, she likes going to this gay bar in West Wood and dancing to it.

    It's a very hip place, and is more like a chic club with a lot of gays. Sorta like Studio 54 back in the day, but not as wild.

    Anyhow, she asks me if I wouldn't mind going with her. I say, "Sure. I don't care. As long as guys don't come up to me and grab my crotch," which she assured me wouldn't happen. So, we get there in the afternoon (cause it's also a nice restaurant), and she has some mimosas and I try a bloody mary which they're known. Anyhow, I was talking to her about the Bears (that's right), just a little nugget, not much, and some blond haired blue eyed guy (who doesn't look "gay" at all) sorta just turns around and says, "Can you believe Cutler?" and we start talking Bears football.

    It was pretty funny because he knew everything about the Bears. In fact, he even started asking me about the Cubs, which I then had to say, "Sorry, I stopped following baseball a while back." So he actually out-straighted me with sports trivia.

    He said, "Sorry. I'm visiting from Chicago and haven't encountered a Bears fan, so I had to butt in. Cool talking to you."

    And that was that.

    When he left, the gal I was with said, "Did you see what he was doing? He was trying to figure out if you were gay." And I replied, "Eh. I find it funnier that he thought Cutler sucks."

    So, see, the gays just like everyone else (sorry Johhny).

  • He had to butt in.


  • yeah, a girl in my office thinks Cutler sucks too. When I asked her why she said because he whines and quit in the NFC Championship game.

    I asked her for an instance when he whined or threw anyone under the bus. She couldn't say. I asked her how she knew that Cutler quit when he had a knee injury. She answered "because that's what my husband said and he follows football".

    I asked what team he rooted for. "Packers".was the reply.

    shaking my motherfucking head.

  • packer fans are SO awesome.


  • smmfh indeed.

  • Zubaz are BACK!


  • Getting Tuiossosoppo'ed - a synonym for getting Catfished. Getting scammed in online social media by a fake persona.

    Getting Teo'ed - To be asked in a roundabout, vague way about your sexual orientation and if you like the ladies.


    Getting Meriweather'ed -


  • In reply to gpldan:


    here's the original on SWOOOOOOLLLLEEEEE


  • In non-gay related relevant news...

    "Giants re-signed LT Will Beatty to a five-year, $38.75 million contract.
    The deal includes a $12.5 million signing bonus, and $19 million guaranteed. It's a nice haul for a player who finally stayed healthy last season after missing 14 combined games between 2010-11. Three days shy of his 28th birthday, Beatty allowed just three sacks and 22 hurries in 967 snaps last season. He was never expected to reach free agency. With Beatty locked up for $7.75 million annually, Branden Albert and Jake Long will both target at least $8 million a year. - Rotoworld"

    I explained before that without a Pepp restructure and Melton tag (along with some releasing and re-signing FAs excluding Lach), we'd have roughly 2M in cap space for an OT/TE. Now we know approx how much we'd have to free up to get Long, Albert or even Bushrod (most likely cheaper).

    With certain players restructures (Pepp, Peanut come to mind) and Melton signing a contract, I can easily imagine the Bears freeing up an additional $10M, but those are big IFs and we'd only be putting ourselves in a real cap crunch next year.

  • Rapekit.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Oops... this was meant for my Amazon search.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I know, I know. It can't all be gold.

    Can I blame sleep deprivation? How about lack of nicotine? I've been off the patch for 3 weeks and I'm freaking out.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Awesome. Well done man. Keep it up. Smoking sucks and is terrible for you and everyone around you... espeically your little girl.

    You're next Rabbit!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Smoking is fantastic. That's where you're wrong.

    But you're right on everything else.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    You go man!!

  • speakin of poundin ass: http://entertainment.msn.com/videopreview/?channelindex=2&from=en-us_msnhp#/video/365da3c1-3815-4b43-a934-ea4c7c33b735

  • no one's mentioned how funny that pic is btw

  • "Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has been one of the NFL's most vocal supporters of gay rights and he thinks that an openly gay player in the league is something that's going to happen in the near future.

    'I think it's going to happen really soon ... In the next year or the following year,' Ayanbadejo said on MSNBC's The Ed Show Wednesday, via SI.com. 'I feel like we're going to see our Jackie Robinson, our pioneer for gay rights and equality and we're going to be there to support that player and make sure he has a support group around him.'"


  • In reply to Shady:

    so why is he so invested in this cause? Does he have a family member who's gay? Anyone know?

  • you guys see the market today... fucking shell game.

    Wish I had the inside track... or my own computer trading company.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    pump! pump! pump!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I primarily follow Forex but I think the S&P 500 is due for a pretty good correction. I'd short the market here with a protective stop over last week's highs and look to take profits around the 1430 level (+/-20pts)...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Screw the market. Bunch of thieves.

  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/26/kenneth-faried-denver-nuggets-gay-marriage-two-moms_n_2552462.html

    This guy is a baller by the way.

  • shady, get your ass online now punk. Rematch!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Got a date with Cornelius Washington. I'll be own soon.

  • In reply to Shady:


  • In reply to Shady:

    you have to go out and see 'your guy downtown' or something!? sheesh.

  • my bitches.... will be in town April 2and 3. Who's taking me to dinner then out hunting?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Hunting might be a stretch, but I might be game for dinner. That's right at the end of Passover though, so you might get cut in favor of G-d.

  • Salary cap set at $123 million. Increase of $2.4 million.

    That is approximately 2% growth.

    That might be a shade under the national average (around 2.5%) according to this link I found in approximately 20 seconds of google searching: http://www.aon.com/attachments/human-capital-consulting/2012-2013_US_Salary_Increase_Survey_Highlights.pdf

    Interesting case study about wealth concentration...

    The total salary cap goes up 2%. The base salary for all players goes up exactly 0% except for players who negotiate vet rates to increase per the union. Players with lower end contracts are essentially interchangeable because of those minimums. Players with top end contracts are pushing for nearly all of that extra 2%. On most teams that represents a single player (e.g. Flacco, Melton, Long, Bowe). And who gets squeezed the most with "pay cut or leave" ultimatums and strategic cuts? The Middle Class: players with the $2-6 million a year deals.

    Reduce Peppers' deal by just 10% and you save around $2 million in cap space. People would rather cut Bennett, who would not save us that same $2 million if we cut him completely, than reduce Peppers pay. Why? Peppers has the negotiating power in this marketplace. I'm not judging, just making the observation.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Yeah, I read that salary bump, but wasn't sure if it was "official".

    When I was doing my salary cap for the Bears I was also going by the "avg" draft class cost of $5M, but I read that the closer cost to the Bears (given position and missing a 3rd and 7th) would be $3M.

    Combine that with the extra $2M that the cap rose, and we have an extra $5M to go along with the $2M I projected.

    Soooo...conservative estimate.

    We'll have approx $7M for FA.

    (And like I stated earlier, we can easily restructure a few contracts and free up another $10M if need be).

  • I'm really hoping we don't do any "kick it down the curb" restructuring to bring in more players this year.

    Between the Cutler contract and whatever deal we give Melton, we can't afford to set ourselves us for an even bigger cap crunch in 2014. If that happens, we most likely will be forced to cut Peppers.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    I'm with you. $7M should be enough to get an OT (Beatty went for $8M/yr), though we'd be cutting it close. We'd just have to get a TE through the draft (or vice versa).

    I think everyone's restructing because teams expect a Cap hike in 2014 (due to new tv contracts), but I keep hearing different opinions on that.

    And if Cutler has a Flacco-ish season, then what? $20M/year right there alone.

  • When someone mentions the mere thought of getting rid of Bennett I laugh and realize that not everyone truly understands football. It's not fucking Madden dude, you can't have Marshall, Fitz and Megatron on your fucking team. Sometimes you need a guy that doesn't cost 10 M a year but that can still make plays...and that is not a rookie making a couple hundred thousand....just like Bennett. Fucking. Stop. It.

  • Who mentioned dumping Bennett? That is stupid. He's in the middle of his big deal with guaranteed money anyhow - so it would also be financially stupid.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    a couple pf people mentioned it awhile back and then New Bear mentioned it again in reference to Peppers having negotiating power in his own cap situation. New Bear wasn't advocating Bennett getting cut but it still reminded me of when people actually brought that asinine point up and i got re-mad.

    Definition of "RE-MAD"
    - The act getting super pissed off all over again when thinking that an issue that had been put to bed because of it's insane nature resurfaces again for some reason whether on accident or on purpose.

  • +++

  • prety fucking awesome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmO3jeQTJI0

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    the first thought I had was, what if the frame came ripping down through his shute?

  • jack welsh is a bad ass... but he's a fucking dinosaur. Wrong, old, silly, attempt at a fix that belies a MUCH deeper issue @ yahoo.


  • Kenny Vaccaro. Safety. Texas. If he's available, top lineman are gone, do the Bears pounce? Not sure I trust Conte/Hardin and this kid could be a difference maker from day 1.

  • In reply to Shady:

    ooohhhh heeerroooooooooo.

    You know what I says.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to Shady:


    I'll give you $5 to stand up with your arm and pointing finger extended into the air as you scream that as loud as you can at work the next time you put in a successful order.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    And be escorted out of the building? No thanks.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Fun fact: He's Brenda Vaccaro of the cigar voice's grandson.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I'm wondering the same thing Shady because it's a very real possibility.

    Vaccaro is already everything Hardin is striving to be.

    Fast, athletic, instinctive, playmaker who can play both FS/SS and become the new Mike Brown to take over the leadership from Lach (going full circle, Simba).

    Neither Wright nor Conte or Emery's guy, and both have a history of getting injured (to be fair, all safeties seem to get injured).

    If Vacarro is still on the board that'd be great for us because that's the most likely scenario for us to trade down with someone like the 9ers (Broncos, Pats) who will be looking for a S.

  • any interest: http://aol.sportingnews.com/nfl/story/2013-03-01/atlanta-falcons-cuts-abraham-turner-robinson-salary-cap?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl14%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D277149

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Is that a "maing" in there?

  • In reply to Shady:

    ha HA!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Have you seen this new show on TV? I think it's called the BANG BANG Theory.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I'd like to banh bang that chick... although she's gotten fat in her most recent orbitz commercials.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The other blond with the squeaky voice is hot IRL. Solid 8, to me.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • In reply to gpldan:

    yeah, she's got a cute mousey look about her. Looks like she's a little big around the midsection from the pics I've seen.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    i.e., little thick around the middle for me: http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/melissa-rauch-premiere-in-time-01.jpg

    To be an 8 you gots to have a slammin body GP.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    THIS is much more my style: http://content7.flixster.com/photo/13/87/66/13876661_ori.jpg

    Although she prolly don't look like that no more.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    None, Maing!

    MBs becoming viral, like the Harlem Shake...


    Turner is like Lynch, except he's old, can't catch, can't run and can't gain more than 3.2yds.

    Abraham is just old (34). I'd rather re-sign Izzy who got 7 sacks and can move around (not to mention younger).

  • One word for you all.....

    Lazlo..... Hollyfeld...


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    One of my favorite movies... Did you know Lazlo = Uncle Rico?

    He's a real genius.

    Best song - Number One from Real Genius soundtrack.

  • So much for trying to get Olsen back for next year's 3rd...

    "A league source tells PFT that Olsen, who was initially owed a $3.75 million base salary, will now get a $3 million option bonus and a $750,000 base salary. The option bonus will be due between the first and 10th day of the league year, which begins March 12.

    The move will save the Panthers $2.4 million on this year’s salary cap.

    Olsen, who also restructured his contract to save the Panthers some cap room last year, is coming off a 2012 season in which he started all 16 games and had a career-high 69 catches for a career-high 843 receiving yards."


  • Hey, since this has become the de facto gay thread, I thought you guys might enjoy this very interesting article on why homosexuality exists in species (specifically humans) when the stated goal of evolution is to procreate.

    I suppose if you're a fundamentalist then the answer is simple, but for others, this is a worthwhile read, and you'd be the hit of wine and cheese tastings!



  • I want a scientist to do a study of live participants and find out how gay guys view themselves and their place in gay society. Do they view themselves as regular men but in a feminine role within a relationship or men that just happen to be attracted to other men? Why certain gay men take on extreme almost cartoonish representations of sexuality, etc.

    If this comes off as boorish I apologize. I work with a handful of gay guys and 4 out of 5 of them are what would be considered "divas" or "queens". One guy would be what is considered a "bear". One of the 4 "divas" is considered a "twink".

    It's pretty interesting really but it does make you think less about the science regarding homosexuality and focus more on what a gay man in america thinks he has to act like to be accepted in the gay society and in the larger society as a whole.

  • what's a twink... I'm scared to google it.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    was kidding, already googled it. Intertesting.

    So Shady could be considered a twink huh?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I wouldn't know I've never met him. He doesn't have the look of a twink though. I could see him in leather asking to be whipped by a huge norwegian dominatrix though. I don't know why I imagined that.

  • I can't stand being dominated. Don't like whips, getting spanked etc. As best man last summer I was in charge of setting up our group at the local strip club near Foxwoods. Part of the offer included a humiliation package (not to be confused with MB's junk) where several ladies would take the bachelor on stage and whip the shit out of him while verbally degrading him. At the time I felt bad for him because it was incredibly humiliating, but afterward he said it was the best part of the weekend. Who knew?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Physically I'm closer to a bear than a twink I think. Damn it, why am I even taking part in this conversation? smh

  • In reply to Shady:

    Dude, I don't even know.

  • In reply to Shady:

    BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Love it. So awesome.

    Naw, not into kinky shit like that. Love it when chicks are aggressive about wanting it and being the one to take initiative (i.e, BJs without being asked, seduction, just showing up naked and horny, etc...) but not into any leather whips domination any of that creepy shit. To each his own, but just not my style.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    kind of like the guy who is diminutive in stature, takes the extreme feminine role sexually, is there to be the toy or the partner who is dominated. It's crazy shit man. I've learned more than I want about it from my gay work friends.

  • I'd imagine "roles" in any society is more, well, social.

    I've dated ALL kinds of women, and some are more "girly" than others.

    Some can't stand sports, at all, are really into fashion and brands, take hours getting ready to go out, and do a lot of the other typical "girly" activities, while others were more tolerant of sports (some even had fav teams), didn't care about high fashion or brands, liked to drink beer and usually hated other women.

    I imagine it's the same within the gay community. The Bitch and the Butch, or the Lipstick/Lesbo, Top/Bottom dichotomy.

    I think that has a lot more to do with preference than biology, though I'm sure a little of the latter.

    You should ask them Johhny and get back to us with your survey answers. I'm curious too (no, not in that way.)

  • Took an evolutionary psychology class in one of my 10 years of college... It was probably one of the most interesting classes I took.

    Essentially breaks down ALL human behavior as related to survival/reproduction in the environment of evolutionary adaptation (African savannahs back in da days). Either directly related to or a side affect of that attainment.

    One of our guest speakers attempted to analyze homosexuality (he was gay himself) from the standpoint that it was actually a side affect of a characteristic that allowed males to gain more mates. Basically, having a bit of an effeminate side allowed the male to understand the female mindset better and use it to get all up in they heads and allow for entry. Those ass-tappers' genes moved on as they made mo' babies.

    Eventually, like the malaria resistance causing sickle cell, too much of that effeminate genetic genotype causes homosexuality - which is most definitely not a characteristic that exists to further the survival and repoduction of one's genetic strain.

    My teacher just shook his head throughout the entire lecture. He wasn't having none of it... I, however, fond it to be an interesting theory.

    Because according to evolutionary psychology EVERYTHING we do now, in some way, helped our ancestors make babies. And being gay doesn't make babies. So you have to explain it somehow.

    Anyone got a smoke?

  • guys, so....what free agent moves are we fucking making this year??? Who's with me? AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

  • and of those moves, which one would you bang?

  • Which one won't tell anybody?


  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    I just imagined you saying AMIRIGHT? Like a mixture of Billy Crystal and Mel Brooks but kind of yelling it like a stereotyped rabbi.

    I just snorted water out of my nose while on a conference call.

  • this is what I imagined: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JEryd3Y_G8

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • So what are the benefits of being sick you ask… lunchtime with:
    • Police academy on TV
    • My first Carne asada burrito and rolled tacos with guac in about a year
    • MW3

    The way the riot starts is hilarious.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    that movie is when i fell in love with huge real boobs.

    so am i correct in assuming you ordered take out Burritos delivered to your place like a fatty, you're in your bears jammies and you've got your headset on and are swearing at 11yr old portuguese kids that are kicking your ass in Kill Confirmed?

    That's not being sick, it's called being a pot head.

  • Hahahaha...

    Very close! Alas, I don't smoke the ganja maings. Also...

    * No one plays KC any more, can't find a damn game... pisses me off.
    * I never do order in, sign of weakness... besides, it's fucking 77 degrees and not a cloud in the sky outside. The surf looks FUUUUUUN, pissed I'm sick
    * Not portuguese, but last night shady and I squared off against a guy with the callsign "Hezbolla" and a clan "HMAS". I did my arab voice for like 45 minutes, just destroyed him. Cunt.

    btw, this could all be yours for a few days johnny. Comondown!

  • fb_avatar

    You deserve an award for this article. Awesome.

  • Great piece of work. I agree with you on this but you started a paragraph by stating that "We somehow forget how religious professional athletes are".

    Ehh, maybe it's just me but almost every game has Jesus or My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ brought up and if it doesn't then ESPN is spending 23 hours a day on Tebow or Notre Dame. I don't think we forget maybe we just have become so numb to it being said or shown that its just accepted. The argument then becomes is that a dangerous trend or just one that people are too comfortable with?

    PS: Love the Mario Cantone reference and he's hilarious. The Bears could use the humor.

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