Cutler Needs Consistent Playoff Appearances for Accurate Evaluation

Cutler Needs Consistent Playoff Appearances for Accurate Evaluation

The last nine Super Bowls have been won by six quarterbacks. Their names will be familiar to you. A couple Mannings. Brady. Roethlisberger. Rodgers. Brees. It is this trend of high-paid, statistical machine quarterbacks being exclusive holders of the Lombardi Trophy that has given way to the insufferable and utterly inconsequential "elite quarterback" debate.

I don't care if a quarterback is elite because I don't think the word "elite" is being bandied about in this case to do anything more than fill segments on First Take and the NFL Network. And I don't care if Quarterback A is better than Quarterback B or more clutch than Quarterback C. I care about one thing: is Quarterback A good enough to win a bunch of playoff games in a row and be walking down Main Street at the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World when they air the commercial come the ghosts of late February future.

In two weeks, in the Booze & Food Historical Theme Park known as New Orleans, either Joe Flacco or Colin Kaepernick will break the nine-game trend and become only the seventh active NFL quarterback to have led their team to a Super Bowl title. No matter which quarterback wins a simple debate will ensue: Is [Insert Winning Quarterback] Now Elite?

That conversation will segue naturally in Chicago to: Can Jay Cutler add his name to the championship list?

There are folks entrenched in the NO column. Thesy believe Jay Cutler is an arrogant, turnover generating coach killer incapable of being the kind of  on-field leader that wins the big one. If you ask these individuals a follow-up on Cutler they will also blame him for the face-tingling winds off the lake each January and for spotty cell phone service on the CTA.

There are also loyalists tied by chains to the YES pole in protest. They believe Cutler's problems have not been Cutler at all (or at least not mostly). Jay's problems have been the lack of offensive coordinator consistency, failure of the offensive line to protect either perimeter, the reluctance of pre-Emery management to add weapons on the outside and the lack of a no-fat vegetarian pizza option at Pizano's on State Street.

Both sides have fair points to make.

Cutler is turnover prone and has shown a reluctance to be coached in his post-Mike Shanahan NFL career. His shoving J'Marcus Webb, walking away from Mike Tice and relaying an angry "Fuck him!" to Mike Martz (below) have made folks across the league question whether he possesses the emotional maturity to capitalize on his alarming physical gifts.

Cutler is not without excuses, however. He HAS been forced to adapt to three different offensive coordinators in four year. He HAS had almost zero pass protection while lacking a short passing scheme to compensate for lack of care along the edge. And before the arrival of Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery in Chicago, who did he have to throw the ball to?

But Cutler ALSO taken the Bears to 7-3 (before injury) and 10-6 records over the past two seasons and almost by aligning of the planets - a silly tackle attempt and Adrian Peterson's magnificence -  failed to make the postseason in either year. One finds it hard to analyze the playoff potential of a quarterback when the quarterback is not in the playoffs consistently.

The Bears can win with Jay Cutler at quarterback. Take a breathe. They can win with Jay Cutler at quarterback. But in order for them to know the true potential of this quarterback they must make their way into the tournament and give him an opportunity to showcase his talents on the NFL's biggest stage. That was Phil Emery's impetus behind relieving Lovie Smith of his head coaching duties and bringing Marc Trestman across the American border. Five of six years outside the playoffs was not only a failure for the Bears organization. It was a failure for the development/analysis of the Bears quarterback.

Until Cutler is IN the postseason with consistency - like flavor of the quarterback month Joe Flacco - the jury remains out on his potential as a championship-caliber quarterback. Until that point it is all speculation. And don't we all watch and love professional sports to avoid speculation? Isn't guessing reserved for real estate developers, day traders and college football fans?

Cutler is 1-1 in the playoffs and he only played the first half of the second game. Six quarters hardly seems the requisite sample size to judge the potential of a quarterback with so much, well, potential. Cutler has his coach now and will have a consistent offensive vision in place for the next 3-4 years. It is time for the Bears to get into the tournament and win there. If they can't, I'll concede Cutler as a non-championship player. Until then I'll reserve judgement.


Leave a comment
  • First(?)

    The NFL has to love the SB matchup. While Kaep may indeed become a top-tier QB, he isn't yet. And Flacco will never be in my opinion. So what was a potential problem is now "solved". You CAN win a SB without a top-tier QB.

    And so can the Bears.

  • In reply to BillW:

    What more does Flacco have to do before you condsider him top tier? That dude has a constant flow of diareah dumped on him by everyone in the media. I don't get it. He's a damn good qb. 100% better than Cutler at this point. Who would you rather have? Flacco or Cutler?

  • I'm with you coach. I think Flacco deserves more respect... especially if he's critical in the ravens winning the SB

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • Flacco vs Cutler - I'll take Cutler.

    Neither one is/will be "top tier" in my opinion. Reserved for P. Manning, Brees, Rodgers, Brady (all of course in their prime.)

    Again - my OPINION.

    You can win with Flacco (obviously) and I believe you can win with Cutler. Doesn't make them "top-tier".

  • In reply to BillW:

    don't understand your logic here, but it is your opinion

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    OK - so maybe I don't watch the Ravens enough and I'm guilty of judging without enough evidence. I guess in my mind I don't see Flacco (or Matt Ryan and especially Tony Romo) worth the hype they got in the beginning of their careers. I just don't see Cutler as any worse than them and potentially better.

    But maybe Flacco has separated himself from Ryan and Romo. In any case, I think Jay can do the same or better - but ONLY IF he takes coaching and fixes his decision making. A reliable TE and another hal-second of pocket comfort SHOULD do the trick. If not - it was nice knowing you Jay. Have fun as a lifetime backup ala Grossman and Orton (who I'd trade a 2014 mid rounder for as a backup by the way.)

  • In reply to BillW:

    I can agree with most of that bill. I don't think romo belongs anywhere in the conversation.

    If flacco plays a big part in a sb win, you HAVE to put the guy in the elite bucket. Ryan is very close... romo no where near close.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to BillW:

    Flacco has had a line...Cutler, no luck...Same O-Lines, I'll take Cutty

  • In reply to 505 Bears!!:

    always the endless, boring excuses for cutler.

  • In reply to BillW:

    Dude ran for 182 yards in one game. That;s pretty much the toppermost tier of Quartebackus Mobilis .... 128 rating against the Falcons. Flacco was 106 against the Pats.

  • It took me a while but I got caught up on the posts over the weekend. Someone mentioned the fact that the top-tier QB salaries are bringing those team down to earth. Which of course is just what the league wants to happen as a result of a hard salary cap.

    SF made a quick turnaround; Ravens made the SB just when it looked like (maybe) their window had closed. It should not be shocking to see us win the division next year and compete strongly for the SB. Not saying we will, but it should not be shocking.

    Better protection; a real TE; continued brilliance by Marshall and further improvement of Jeffries could translate to 7-10 points a game more.

    With that kind of production, the defense will be off the field more and the drop off on points should be no more than 3 per game.

    In other words, what we expected THIS year can very well happen next year. Which puts us in the mix.

    Of course, there are porbably 5-10 other teams thinking something similar.

    The REAL problem is there are too many teams in the league.

  • In reply to BillW:


  • In reply to SC Dave:



  • In reply to bearfantillend:

    Fucking hilarious

    “I’d asked for Matt Forte, but seeing Mr. Cutler was cool too I guess"

  • In reply to bearfantillend:

    Awesome. "Maybe I'll see if the hospital can just tell him that I died."

  • In reply to bearfantillend:

    Ok there Ruxin

  • Ah back to the grind. Well here's some music to help along

    The second guy is a local and has a lot of witty and catchy tunes.

  • It's a dangerous gamble, but what other options do the Bears have? Alex Smith, Vick - trade for Flynn, Foles - take a flier in the 3rd for some developmental QB?

    Cutler looked totally rattled in that NFC Championship game. With the same exact personnel, Oline, WRs, and a lot less reps/prep, Hanie - HANIE - moved the ball better than Cutler.

    Insert reasons/excuses here, but that still resonates for me.

    Cutler is in that Romo-Schaub-Flacco range, and thus far only Flacco has proved clutch in the play-offs.

    Then again, Flacco has made more appearances.

    It's just disturbing watching rookies like Wilson, RG3 and Luck (under their first O-coord) look much better than Cutler.

    And by better, I don't mean just numbers (though there's that too. RG3s QB rating 102, Cutler's 81.3), but they look more poised, accurate and decisive than Cutler.

    Everyone likes to blame the Oline only, but Luck played behind a crappy one, and so does Rodgers (though perhaps not as bad). Our horrible O-coords didn't help either, but I don't know man...

    I guess I'm with Jeff and some others that for me, the jury's still out about Cutler.

    Of course I'm pulling for Cutler, but he's going to have to improve his decision making in my eyes (throwing the ball away, checing down, throwing it to someone other than Bmarsh, etc), and hopefully Trestman finally fulfills his potential.

  • In reply to 4ever85 (O Canada!):

    Cutler doesn't have the emotional makeup to win. he will be gone in one year.

  • Jeffery

  • In reply to toph:

    The giraffe?
    Bill Cosby's character?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    No way it's the giraffe. His name is the red-headed stepchild of all the Jefferies. I believe he spells his Geoffrey. What a loser.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    that's fucked up. One of our beloved regs shares that 'loser's" name.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    What are the odds? Foot, mouth, etc.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Wow. That unraveled on a stupid crack on a fictional giraffe I've hated since I was a kid.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    Anybody remember what Toys R Us was called before it was Toys R Us?

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    Really in reply to Albert's reply:
    I think it was called Children's Bargain Town. (I didn't look that up).

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    BargainTown USA

  • If Cutler is ever going to accept coaching and improve it will be this year. If he does, the Beloved re-sign him for $10-$15 mil/year for a few years. If not, he will become one of "those guys" and be a backup for $2-$3 mil/year. I'd love to see him make that step. If not, let him walk.

  • I think the Chiefs might be parting way with this guy:

    He's not Jake Long, but he'd be an upgrade over Webb.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    my right ass-cheek is an upgrade over webb.

    That said, he's one of the three that $ and NB have been pushing (Long, Clady, and him). I am up for any of the three at the right price I think if emery could somehow land clady that would be a fucking coupe... reunite him with cutty and BM.

    Let's do this.

    Oh, and I have to agree with Canada.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The secret is that you don't go for the splashy day 1 signing. You let someone else take one of the tackles for too much money and get all the press. Then you take the second best for something much more reasonable, and have the extra cash to sing elsewhere as well.

    Emery had the right idea this past year with Mincey. Buffalo and everyone else was throwing ridiculous cash at Mario Williams. The Bears were looking to pay about 20% of what Williams got to another solid DE. It would have worked except the Jags got him to stick around, but you see right there how the extra $80 million over four years gave us the flexibility to get a #2 running back, a #2 quarterback and the flexibility to trade for Marshall without having any cap casualties.

    Peppers has been wonderful for our team, but you look at what he costs us in cap space and you understand why there are people who think he needs to be cut.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Pepp got 10 sacks, but what goes over looked is that Wooten had 7 sacks, and Izzy had 7 sacks (Melton also had 7 sacks).

    Wooten and Izzy produced, and for much cheaper than Pepp.

    Then again, Pepp frequently plays against the LT (best Olinemen) and gets double-teamed or chipped.

    16M is just a lot of mula to pay for a player who is not the QB.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I also think I read somewhere that Webb actually ranked higer than Long according to Stats Inc/PFF.

    Not sure if someone here can verify that cause I don't subscribe to them, but it's definitely something to look at.

  • In reply to 4ever85 (O Canada!):

    EVERY. EVERY bears offensive lineman was ranked with a negative rating by PRO FOOTBALL FOCUS. Not one was even at the average NFL level. Need all 5 replaced.

  • Ok, now that we know that Lennai Kook-Kookua was fake but the chick was real, her name is Diane O'Meara and works in NYC, the only question left is: would you hit that?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Going strictly on looks, who wouldn't hit that?

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Te'o Manti?

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Man-Bi Gay-O

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I think she's better looking than Mila Kunis, personally.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    wha wha WHAAAATT!?!?!??!?!

    I could have chosen any of a number of VERY appealing photos of her all done up, but chose this more normal one to make my point.,0,214,314_.jpg

    btw, I thought picking her as the worlds most sexy woman was not right. That said, I do think she's very attractive.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I just don't get Kunis. Just do not get it.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I understand that... I don't get a bunch of really popular chicks.

    I don't think she's even remotely close to the sexiest woman alive.

    Like I think this chick is so fucking sexy:

    ...but not classically hot (a la candice swanepol or kate Upton). Maybe it has to do with the red hair, pale skin, and HUGE tits. Bottom line is that most chicks have one aspect that is hot. I'm trying to focus more in on that stuff personally.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I think CH is a babe but she does have a major caboose on her. That's one of the reasons I don't get overly excited about huge boobs. At some point their butts match the boobs.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    ahhh canada.. the marvels of modern medicine my man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I would eat Mila Kunis' butthole with a side of ranch dressing. mmm good!

  • I have a buddy that always used to say, "I'd eat the corn out of her shit just to get to her asshole".

    Pretty disgusting visual, but you always got his point.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB, Kunis has a FLAT ass! I saw her in person - you could iron your tie on her ass.

    Now, maybe she got butt implants or has done some major lunges/squats since, but I like curves!!!

  • In reply to 4ever85 (O Canada!):

    I'm a tiny ass huge tits guy maing... The other way around is baaaaaaaad

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I'm guessing if you saw her in person you might change your mind. They almost always look better in person. I don't think she's the sexiest woman alive but she's definitely a hottie.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I agree.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    She's a 7 ( in some shots, and a 5 (!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/omeara23n-2-web.jpg) in others.

    Since the 5 is more recent, maybe not.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That 5 picture is disturbing and makes me re-evaluate.

    That 5 picture says "I've discovered Burger King".

  • In reply to gpldan:

    my money's on KFC

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Too young, maybe her mom!

  • ‏@ChicagoBears
    LM: #Bears hire Mike Clark as their strength and conditioning coordinator, replacing retiring Rusty Jones.


  • Hello Rusty Jones, good bye rusty cars!

  • @ZachZaidman
    RT @ryanohalloran: Babich confirmed #jaguars will run a 4-3 front. Said he's "become a better coach" since coordinator time in Chicago.

    Made me laugh.

  • I think I just puked a little in my mouth

  • Oh sure, who wouldn't agree with that? Other than every Bears fan in the universe.

  • Things that need to happen TODAY:

    Gabe Carimi calls Mike Clark on the phone, asks "how do i get back to 320 lbs. with a bench of 30 reps @ 225. Cause whatever that is, I need to start TODAY."

  • @ProFootballWkly
    RT @BrianCoz: Jets confirm that Rex was in a car accident. He was not hurt. Rex declined comment.

  • Caused by paparazzi trying to get another tatoo picture?

  • In reply to BillW:

    Driving with bare feet again.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Was Manti's girlfriend hurt?

  • Jeffery

  • Manti

    No, wait!


  • Flacco is a great example of an average quarterback that has a great running game, a strong offensive line, and decent core group at the wide receiver position.

    Cutler is a great example of not having enough weapons and changing coordinators every season. Sadly, he has been the Chicago Bears "Alex Smith" for the past few seasons.

    With the exception of having a legitimate wide receiver, Flacco has an actual offensive line, better tightends, and decent receivers for the majority of his career.

    However, it's pretty apparent that Cutler can choose two paths. Cutler can either follow Alex Smith's path or Flacco's path. I don't really care. As long as the team starts to move into a positive direction.

  • Any QB that rolls through OCs is bound to falter.

    This isn't on Jay. It's on the Bears.

    And comparing him to Smith isn't good, either. The Niners are arguably this year's most talented team, with something like 9 Pro-Bowlers.

    Had Cutler been a 49er all these years, I don't think he'd have been pulled in favor of Kapernick, like Smith was. I think he's got more talent than Smith.

  • In reply to gpldan:


    He's my ultimate view on cutty....

    ...until we get the guy a fucking real oline and a real scheme for a couple years we'll never know if he's bi-polar or just stuck in impossible situations beyond his control.

    So, if emery/trestman get him a decent (not all probowl or anything, just not the absolute fucking garbage he's had) oline and the scheme is smart, versatile, flexible, and adaptive... and he thrives, we have step one or piece one of our answer and he deserves more time. If he regresses, we'll then that's not good.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    "If he regresses, we'll then that's not good."

    Oh shit, this made me laugh for awhile. I don't know why lol

  • you're welcome

    Here's another one for you Erik:!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Can I be quite honest? I don't find that girl hot.

    Maybe because she reminds me of a typical Southern whore or it could be that she reminds me of a girl that made fun of me practically through elementary and high school.

    Could be that second part the more I think about it..

    I did however like your choice below!

  • understood Erik. It's ok to be gay man... we totally won't judge.

    Just kidding man. I get it. That chick must have been a totally stuck up, insecure, cunt. At least you know you're a better person than her, and that all he teasing just lowered her value. not yours.

    Bang! Bang! lad.

  • "maybe because she reminds me of a typical southern whore..."


    Artoo likes atypical southern whores.

  • yes, i forgot to mention that i +1 souther whores.

  • Here you go Artoo, a nice old-fasioned girl (in a bikini, washing a car):

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Funny, how many years have Luck, Griffin, and Wilson have "in the system"?

    Same number as Jay. Soooo tired of that excuse.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Luck's numbers are pedestrian for how much they throw.

    Griffin and Wilson have absolutely DOMINATING run games.

    Dave, one of these days you are going to have to start paying attention. It's not just one thing that makes a guy perform well, badly or in the middle of the pack.

  • Yeah, you might want to try it yourself.

    Here's some numbers:
    Wash Total: 2709, RGIII rush yards: 815
    Seattle Total: 2579, Wilson rush yards: 489
    Chi Total: 1970, Cutler rush yards: 233

    Take off the QB runs, and we get:
    Wash: 1894 = 117 ypg
    Sea: 2090 = 131 ypg
    Chi: 1737 = 108 ypg

    So the numbers certainly point to Seattle as a much better running team, Washington not so much. Except of course, that RGIII outgained Cutler on the ground by a large margin.

    So far as team rankings, we have
    Rushing: Washington (1), Seattle (3), Chicago (10)
    Passing: Washington (20), Seattle(27), Chicago(29)

    Change from last year, total offense

    2011: 5387 yds, 16th in NFL
    2012: 6131 yds, 5th in NFL

    2011: 4861, 28th in NFL
    2012: 5610, 17th in NFL

    2011: 5026, 24th in NFL
    2012: 4969, 28th in NFL

  • Cutler is actually a perfect example of a player too immature and arrogant to fullfill his physical potential. He will be gone in one year.

  • ok GP, now this girl is stunning in the classic mould of super hot.

    There's def. a difference right

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    god I love Bond. I played this for my ex at our wedding:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    shit, wrong link. Here you go:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Well, as Carly SImon ballads directed at your bride, it beats this:

    (you know what's coming before you follow the link)

  • In reply to gpldan:

    that would have been more accurate unfortunately

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    A little too heavy on the airbrush for my taste.

  • check this out:

    Pretty amazing.

  • Fuck those insidious, microscopic proteins. Ruining football for us.

    I say genocide is the only answer. Protein genocide, god damn it.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    ONE fucking concussion... ONE??!!

    Wow, I am fucked.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Interesting read. The study doesn't exactly state how many concussions or level of concussions a player/person must accumulate for the tau to be found in brains. I would also like to know if drinking to the point of black outs would have a similar effect as concussions.

    The study also is hampered because there's a protein for Alzheimer that lights up too, but I'm not sure how this is a bad thing.

    I mean, I know that doctors want a specific diagnostic device to detect CTE, but wouldn't also finding a precursor to Alzheimer's be a good thing?


  • I've once again reached my breaking point with media and how they relate to the Bears:

    1. If I hear one more "would you rather have (random QB in completely different fucking system/scheme/team) or Jay Cutler who would you choose?

    You can say that you'd rather have Flacco or whoever than Cutler because the motherfucker you want would have had to play on our fucking team for the last 4 years. If Flacco is in our system he :

    a. dies on the field
    b. gets run out of town for being the next Jonathan Quinn.
    c. gets tremendously hurt and underperforms

    2. You can't start your comments by pointing out all of the reasons why Cutler hasn't achieved consistent success THAT HE HAS NO CONTROL OVER and in the very next breath say "I know all of the previous things are the case...but I just don't know if he can lead us to the superbowl."

    The Chicago Bears have very specific circumstances that have led us to where we are right at this very moment:

    a. Angelo missing on almost every top 3 draft pick for 8 years straight.
    b. Angelo missing on almost every 4-7 pick for 8 years straight.
    c. Angelo missing on almost every OL acquisition whether it be draft or FA.
    d. Angelo not drafting or acquiring any #1 WR threat like almost every other team in the league even though he brought in a QB that could throw it to them.
    e. When we had a PRO Off Coordinator we had no weapons, when we had weapons we had no PRO Off Coordinator.
    f. Lovie not having the balls to force Angelo to bring in more OFF LINE talent.
    g. Angelo getting rid of the kind of pass catching TE that every team in the league is now looking for.
    h. The Bears Defense fucking sucking cock in 09 when we lost our starting MLB and SLB in the first fucking game and our top OL quit /retired right before the season.
    i. Lovie unable to bring in an innovative and relevant OC besides Martz who was only there because the managment of the Bears created a lame duck situation where no OC worth a shit wanted to play for a coach without a contract. Martz still did OK even while being the most stubborn fucking asshole never to mold part of his playbook to the pieces we had.
    j. the lack of offensive scheme/continuity/gameplanning/cohesiveness

    There are very real circumstances that exist on this team that would most likely cause any QB that came in here to experience disaster.
    Manning on our team? Fucking neck broken on field.
    Brady on our team? Fucking verbally destroy our shit coaching staff and managment for fucking up constantly. Actually, his agent would never even let his client fucking come here because of the shit show that was the coaching/managment scenario.
    Rookie phenom on our team in our system? FAIL and labelled a bust.
    Flacco on our team? Dead...from fan killing him or him getting his weird shaped head chopped off by Jared Allen or Matthews.

    Give me a fucking break on this shit.

    3. If I hear one more comment about Cutlers "demeanor" I'll drive my car into a wall. Talk about lazy reporting, analysis, et

    a. coach killer? Do you know who killed Shanny's career in Denver? His deplorable defense that was almost replaced to a man in 2008.
    Do you know who killed Ron Turner's career? Fucking Ron Fucking Turner and the fact that he is the coach for fucking Florida International University and WILL NEVER BE AN OC IN THE PROS EVER AGAIN because he fucking sucks and couldn't even stay on as a QB coach or WR coach.
    Do you know who killed Mike Martz's career? Mike Martz did. This guy is so fucking brilliant that he took an offense from the 90's that needs pro bowlers/hall of famers at almost every position and with a first year utilizing it with the Bears and helped get them to the NFC Championship game by utilizing the RB in the pass game and somehow attacked defenses with the limited weapons we had. His downfall? The stunning level of stubborness that could not allow him to find a way to keep Greg Olsen involved, the acquisition of Manumanumanu who's fat ass was coming off of knee surgery and was a waste of life, the complete disregard for the quick passing game in key situations and his desire to always come back to the 7 step drop at the most inopportune time. Oh, and he was a complete dick face as well.
    Do you know who fucking killed Mike Tice's career? Mike Fucking TIce. Mike Tice is not an NFL caliber coordinator and was outcoached at every turn. It certainly didn't help that his offensive line sucked balls, his rookie WR was hurt most of the year along with mr hands Earl Bennett, his TE Kellen Davis turned out to be the biggest fucking waste of a position in recent memory and Forte has the ankles of an 80yr old italian grandma not to mention that we average 1.7 yds on first down. (by running). Tice will never coach again in a meaningful position like OC because he is simply a position coach.
    Do you know who killed Lovie Smith's career? Lovie, Shea, Turner, Tice, Martz, Angelo, any and all McCaskey's, 9 years of focusing on defense and not knowing a fucking thing about offensive football, the inability to make in game adjustments or intergame adjustments with certain players, etc and finally and in the most tragic fashion the final straw that cost him the job was dropped TD's by Hester, Marshall, Bennett in combination with a 97 yd drive fueled by 2 obvious OPI penalties conveniently not called on Seattle, an inexplicable 3 OPI's called on one WR for the first time in the history of the league and Adrian Peterson shredding the fuck out of GB in one of the greatest performances i've ever seen.

    Yeah, Jay is a coach killer. That makes sense. His record is 7-9, 11-5, 7-3, 10-6. Learn fucking football you fucking morons.

    Jesus. Christ.

  • yeah! what he said!

  • +5 blog points for Manumanumanumanu.

    He was so fat, he needed at least 4 Manus.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That's what I'm talking about!!

  • I keep going back to that night game in Detroit a few years ago where he almost single-handedly won it, despite everybody else on offense doing just about nothing. Even the announcers were incredulous. That game keeps me on the Cutler bandwagon...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    That game.. makes me believe that he can be every bit the franchise quarterback we traded for. We all know though.. one game doesn't mean squat. Even if it's a big squat.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Right on, Artoo. It was the best game I can remember a QB playing. But then there is the constant bed-shitting against the Packers.

  • A-fucking-men, mang!

  • Johnny you make great points and I agree with most of them. However, you give Cutler a pass on a lot of things. We lost to GB the second time because he threw a horrible INT and blamed Hester (he later accepted blame when Hester wasn't going to put up with the wrong route bullshit). His 2 picks against the BiQueens were killers. His horrible mechanics lead to INT's and tons of incomplete passes. His life would be one hell of a lot easier if he'd quit being a stubborn jackass. Fighting with the media and refs is beyond stupid. His refusal to slide is idiotic. For some reason he has a fundamental issue with throwing the ball away. All of this shit is on him. Not the coaches, not the shitty skill players and not mgmt. Can he fix all of these problems? Without a doubt. Will he? Who the fuck knows? I want him to make the next step this year at least as much as you do. I don't dislike him at all. I respect his toughness and think he's a good person. Mgmt enabled him by bringing in Bates. That didn't work out. Mgmt hired Trestman hoping he can get through to Cutler and straighten him out. This is Cutler's last stand (see how I did that?).

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Throw. The. Ball. Away.

    It's all they have to get into his head.

  • Cutler needs to be reprogrammed Clock Work Orange style.

    Make your audibles and adjustments.
    Keep the ball shoulder level.
    Read your progressions.
    Throw it. Throw it away.
    Or run but SLIDE (unless it's a really important down).

    Get up.


  • Good god, another few hundred lines of excuses for Cutler.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    So far as (g) is concerned, I said getting rid of Olsen was a horrible at the time. Got mostly berated for my position on that move.

    And we got Brandon Hardin for that pick. Nice one, Bears.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Dave, I'm not excusing anything. I'm pointing out what the standard fucking mindless idiot who watches football but doesn't understand the game spouts from his cock intake valve.

    No one can sit there and predict how anyone else would play in our shitty assfuck of an offensive system over the last.....30yrs.

    To do so is laughable. To judge a guys talent based off of situations out of his control yet that influence the outcomes of games is also laughable. Does Steve Young win a super bowl, ever have a winning record or go to the hall of fame if he stays on the Bucs? Does Russell Wilson thrive in a pocket passing attack? Does Brady lead the Pats to impressive seasons if Mike Tice is the OC and Webb instead of Solder is blocking for him?

    Use your head. I'm not making excuses for the things Cutler can control and work on. I'm talking about the things that keep us from the top tier of offensive teams AND IT'S SURE AS FUCK NOT THE QB.

  • You wrote:

    "Manning on our team? Fucking neck broken on field.
    Brady on our team? Fucking verbally destroy our shit coaching staff and managment for fucking up constantly. Actually, his agent would never even let his client fucking come here because of the shit show that was the coaching/managment scenario.
    Rookie phenom on our team in our system? FAIL and labelled a bust.
    Flacco on our team? Dead...from fan killing him or him getting his weird shaped head chopped off by Jared Allen or Matthews."


    :"No one can sit there and predict how anyone else would play in our shitty assfuck of an offensive system over the last.....30yrs.

    To do so is laughable."

    So what is it?

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    At what point did I predict how they would play. I didn't discuss numbers, etc.

    I pointed out simply that an old immobile QB like Manning could certainly not take the pounding that Cutler took as you can agree.

    I pointed out that a player like Brady would never nor his agent ever put him in the position that Cutler found himself in while playing in Chicago.

    I pointed out that a rookie QB thrown into a system as incoherent as ours without the benefit of a rushing attack, the read option ability and OL pieces would certainly not have the kind of headscratching unheard of TEAM success that Wilson and RG3 saw this year.

    I pointed out that a QB like Flacco with little mobility, no Ray Rice, no Dennis Pitta, no Anquan Boldin, no Torrey Smith, no OL, and a limited skill set not even on par with Cutlers would not have the same types of options available to him here in Chicago yet we have guys here and on the radio pining that Flacco was selected 4 picks after Chris Williams. As if Flacco, in this scenario would fare any better.....

    you can't disagree with these points can you???

  • This is my other account. Post of the year so far.

  • you are incoherant. you have to cuss every other sentence. more immature than cutler.

  • In reply to catfish44:

    Who asked you catfish you fucking simpleton? Learn to fucking spell and how to put together a sentence structure with an actual idea.

    What point was incoherent to you? What would you like me to cook, cut into little pices and serve to you like a little child you dumb motherfucker?

  • Thank fucking God.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    she's hot, but she has a little bit of man-face.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    And, unfortunately, her breasts aren't real. Sorry...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    sad tobi... very sad

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Look, I suppose if the deed is done doggie-style so I don't have to focus on their gravity defying characteristics, I might be open to that. OK?

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    oooooooooook. My god, embrace the beautiful science Tobi... and by "embrace", I mean 'motorboat'.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I'm with you Tobi. I could overlook it but I'd rather they had small boobs than fake boobs. At my stage in life it's pretty easy to stand on my principles. It's not like any hot women with fake boobs are going to put me to the test.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:


  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Don't weaken Tobi ........ gor I stand with you brother ... let us shake our brothers free from their shackles and climb towards the light //// let us tell the world together THAT WE DON'T LIKE FAKE TITS!!

    Be proud of it Tobi - no more slavery to hair extensions, false nails, eyelashes, padded bras, makeup, fake tan, fashionably tailored contact lenses, tattoos. pierced nipples/bellybuttons/clits, wigs ...... or any other useless expensive shite that misrepresents the person beneath it.
    All natural. Get your pants off let's fuck.

  • +++

  • So, you like 70s bush?

    Thanks, but no thanks, Irish.

    I'm not an O-natural puritan (can't be if you ever want to get laid in L.A.), but fake boobs is where I draw the line.

    Fucked a stripper once who had fake boobs, and while I couldn't complain, it could have been better. They don't bounce. They're not soft to the touch (They're like feeling up a flexed rubbery bicep). Sucking on them gets me paranoid that I'm gonna ingest silicon and die whilst fucking.

    It's like driving a Ferrari with the plastic seats: nice to look at, but the ride isn't as great.

  • And I suppose if she had a moustache it would probably be alright, as long as it was well trimmed. But I have to be careful with that, I have sensitive skin...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    "pussy aint got a face!"

  • bang bang

  • Or as my acting teacher once told me, "Women...turn them upside down, and they're all the same."

    It was especially funny because he said it in front of some other actresses who were mortified but couldn't tell him shit.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Have to agree, MB

  • I cannot..stop..laughing.

  • Have you guys been following Tim Brown's desperate pleas for attention? His rant about Trestman costing him a 1,000-yard season made me laugh. Esp when he said he wasn't being selfish or bitter. If that wasn't enough he goes on a rant about Callahan throwing the SB because Callahan and Gruden were buddies. I guess Te'o isn't the first headcase to play for ND!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Here's what Bill Romanowski had to say about it:

    “I’m absolutely flabbergasted,” Romanowski told Tony Bruno and Jon Marks of 97.5 The Fanatic in Philadelphia. “Is he trying to be relevant for the Super Bowl? What is he trying to do? He absolutely couldn’t be further from the truth. So you’re saying that a man has a chance to cement himself in history with winning a Super Bowl and he wants to hand it over to his buddy? Give me a break, OK? It couldn’t be further from the truth. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And I’ll tell you what, I’m blown away that something like that would come out of an intelligent man’s mouth.”

  • here's an interesting tidbit from the Sun-Times:

    " Marc Trestman’s coaching staff is not complete, but he’s made more than enough hires to see one big difference between him and Lovie Smith — a much higher level of NFL experience on his coaching staff.

    When Smith was hired in 2004, the knock on his 16-man staff was that it lacked experience. Only four coaches had prior experience at their hired position (and two of them for only one year: linebackers coach Bob Babich and offensive line coach Pete Hoener). In all, Lovie’s first staff had 29 years of NFL coaching experience, nine at their position.

    With five or six hires to make, Trestman’s staff already has 91 years of total NFL experience and 71 at their hired position. If experience counts, Trestman already has a leg up on the previous regime."

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    After the ridiculous contractor search to come up with JA, Lovie was hired after everyone else. All he had to choose from were leftovers.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    The question here will be is what will the players be willing to do to learn from all this experience, and will they listen. Some to keep their jobs I'm sure. But having been under the same regime for 9yrs for a lot of them may not work. Should be interesting.

  • In reply to MaddBearfan:

    Very good point. You get into a comfortable routine and you don't want it to change. I remember it well from my corporate IT days. New department head comes in with new ideas and some entrenched old-timers really start to grumble because it means that they might actually have to do some real work for a change. Others though, will be re-energized, recognizing that before things really weren't getting done all that well, and in fact, were really kind of stale and this is a chance to get a little excited again about going to work. I think we'll see both types of responses but think most of the players realize they had gone as far as they were going to under the old staff...

  • Not to defend Lovie, but this article is just stupid:

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Consider the source

  • In the space of three minutes this morning, the owner of my favorite coffee shop said he didn't like Trestman because he's Canadian, Lovie deserved to keep his job but Singletary should be the HC, and the Cutler should be cut because he's not a leader of men. His plan? Tebow. Because he's a true leader.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    sounds like you need a new coffee shop maings. that dude's a fucking maroon.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    He should run for Congress. He'd fit right in.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    His coffee is spiked with holy water, though.

    So he's got that going for him...

  • Musical coordinators and bad offensive lines are KNOWN quarterback killers .

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    The combination of the two is ESPECIALLY lethal.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    I wonder if David Carr would like to chime in on this?

  • Fun fact:

    November 12, 1995. Where were you? Motorboating some atypical southerner? Passed out?

    Niners v Cowboys.

    Seifert tells the team during practice that he knows Deion, via his agent, has laid down the law to the Cowboys organization about playing inside. He will NOT do it. Sounds like Hester's agent and the slot.

    Seifert hears this, and game plans on the opening drive to move Rice into the slot. GrrrrrBac hits Rice on a seam route for 81 yards and the score, making the Cowboys pay for Primetime's vanity.

    Unheralded moments in football, brought to you by Natural Rack, the website that eschews balloons and silicone.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Niners win, 38-20, btw.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Interesting story, GP.

  • Tobi-

    In all, Lovie’s first staff had 29 years of NFL coaching experience, nine at their position.

    Here's my take on this: Lovie was a weak man, a vain weak man who couldn't stand to be challenged nor did he truly have the conviction of his ideas. I've met guys like Lovie.

    It's why he ran Rivera out of town, because Rivera told Lovie he was wrong, in front of players.

    Trestman is confident in his ideas and can stand to be challenged in the locker room. Therefore, you see a HUGE discrepancy in the evel of assistant coaches willing to work with him.

    In the end, we will write down the Lovie era as being the Steward of Gondor, an era marked by being led by lesser men.

    (my kids are really into this LOTR thing right now)

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Don't agree at all. Lovie's original staff sucked because he was the last HC hired that year by about a month. Nothing but leftovers. None of us really know why Rivera wasn't re-signed. It was a mistake for sure but nobody's talking. If Lovie was so insecure I doubt he would have had 3 ex-HC's on his staff. Granted none of those 3 are ever going to be a HC again but if he was that insecure I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have had them on staff. Lovie's major flaw was he didn't know offense and never made the correct hire for OC.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    I disagree with your disagreement. Martz was a wash-out, a guy so egotistical and whack that he was not getting another NFL gig. What Lovie did is old-boys club from the guy who gave him his props on the Rams as DC. That was favor payback for a guy who will never even smell another NFL job.

    Tice - same thing. A wash-out. A guy who was languishing in the NFL as a line coach, a guy who Vikings fans know did nothing with a team that had the talent to win it all. He comes here, he fights with Martz - Lovie has to settle it, he settles it by going with Tice because Cutler hates Martz, and then you get last year's disaster offense.

    Lesser men. The stats Tobi brought up don't lie.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Obviously I'm with gp on this one... But you could have just stopped at "lesser man"

  • In reply to gpldan:

    You can be incompetent and have nothing to do with your manhood or character.

    We ended up with Martz and Tice because of Lovie's lame duck status.

  • This is the Butch QB Tier:

    Elite: a QB who wins and produces great stats (high QB rating) annually in the regular season and who has won at least one SB. Their franchises are set until they retire.

    Good: a QB who either wins OR produces great stats annually, but hasn't won a SB. This relates to a whole lot of contenders who are either strung along for years or rewarded one year.

    Bad: a QB who neither wins nor produces great stats. Franchises try to replace them within 2 years.

  • In reply to 4ever85 (O Canada!):

    I think my criteria can explain a lot of the "debates" about "elite" vs "non-elite." Really, what they're arguing is "HOF" vs "Non-HOF".

    Eli and Rothlisburger are perfect examples. They definitely fit the latter criteria about winning at least one SB, and in fact, have each won 2.

    They also win during the regular season.

    HOWEVER, they don't exactly light it up when it statistically like some of the other slam-dunk elite QBs (Brady, Brees, Rodgers, Manning), and this is where the debate starts about whether they're elite or not.

  • I'd like to see a congressional committee pull all of Bill Calahan's tax records for the last decade and go hunting.

    Brown and Rice are accusing an ex-NFL HC of throwing a Super Bowl. I expect there to be alot of closing of the ranks about this, but the way to get to the bottom of all of it is follow the money.

  • Today's trib -Pompeii on Mel Tucker:

    MOBILE, Ala. — "Relentless equals high velocity, nonstop."

    That coaching slogan sure sounds like it could have come out of the Rod Marinelli book of wisdom.

    But it didn't.

    It is the motto of the new Bears defensive coordinator, not the old.

    Those who know Mel Tucker well say those are words he coaches by and lives by.

    They describe him as a highly energetic, dedicated, bright coach.

    That is why the 41-year-old has interviewed for head coaching jobs four times over the last six years (three in the NFL and at the University of Wisconsin). That is why he was a defensive coordinator candidate for the Browns and Bills this year as well as the Bears.

    He was the Bears' top choice even though he has virtually no ties to the staff, other than playing college ball with director of pro scouting Chris Ballard.

    "He's an excellent coach, a really sharp guy," said Jaguars linebackers coach Mark Duffner, who worked under Tucker the last four seasons. "First and foremost he is a high character person. He is a very organized, very detailed rising star in this game. He has a very good depth of knowledge and a hungry mind to learn more."

    Tucker, who essentially is expected to be the head coach of the Bears' defense, keeps a relatively low profile, more like Marinelli than Buddy Ryan.

    Tucker is like Marinelli in other ways too.

    "There is some carryover to his philosophy and what they have done previously in Chicago," said Vikings head coach Les Frazier, who attempted to hire Tucker in 2012 to be his defensive coordinator. "What they did in Jacksonville was similar to what they have done in Chicago."

    The Bears are keeping Tucker off limits to the media at the Senior Bowl, but word is he will keep the status quo with virtually all facets of the defense. Even though Tucker has experience in both a three- and four-man fronts, he is not expected to make any radical changes in Chicago.

    In fact, a source said he even is retaining Lovie Smith's terminology, meaning he will have to adjust more than his players.

    Some coaches might have shied away from the challenge of following Smith and Marinelli, who were successful and revered in the locker room.

    By all accounts, Tucker is undaunted.

    What does a Tucker defense look like? It is part Barry Alvarez (his college coach) and part Nick Saban (he worked for him at Michigan State and Louisiana State).

    "What they did in Jacksonville is similar to what Lovie did, but they had a different way of getting to it," said Panthers offensive coordinator Mike Shula, who worked with Tucker in Jacksonville and has coached against him. "He tries to make defenses go the long way and it made it a lot harder for offenses to score because a lot of them aren't disciplined enough to do that. Yet there is an attack style. He has a sneaky blitz package that you have to make sure you are prepared for."

    Tucker's 2012 defense played a lot of Cover-2 and a lot of quarters. The undermanned Jaguars did not blitz much.

    Duffner, a longtime college and pro coach who has been coaching NFL linebackers since 1997, said Tucker does not blitz just to blitz. He will do it only if he thinks it can take advantage of a protection. -

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Thanks al.

    That sounds pretty positive and should assuage some of the defensive chicken littles fears (yes, I'm looking at you shady)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I thought so too, MB. Players should embrace the "retaining Lovie's Smith's terminology". I see that as "I'm not here to reinvent the wheel" or "I only fix what I see as being broken."

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I have to admit that bringing in a guy that will use some the best parts of our D and introduce his own wrinkles is very appealing to me. Very. Appealing.

    like this:

    boom. throwback boner!!!

  • Yummy

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    There's a lot to like about that.

    "He was the Bears' top choice even though he has virtually no ties to the staff"

    No more Tampa-Rams retreads, Hurrah!!!

    "In fact, a source said he even is retaining Lovie Smith's terminology, meaning he will have to adjust more than his players."

    This shows flexibility, which should be an asset when scheming for games.

    "What does a Tucker defense look like? It is part Barry Alvarez (his college coach) and part Nick Saban (he worked for him at Michigan State and Louisiana State)."

    Alvarez and Saban D? Yes, please.

    The only small concern I have is that he's more Lovie than Marinelli, and by that I mean that Tucke'rs less aggressive, esp with formations and blitzes, but maybe he had to play it more conservatively in JAX cause their personnel sucked.

    As long as I don't see the Lovie prevent, I'm cool with the hire.

  • In reply to 4ever85 (O Canada!):

    The hawks played the lovie prevent beautifully that last game didn't they... So perfectly executed... For the loss.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The dreaded 3 man rush.

    Is a defense killer. Send 5 and maske the QB dump it early so he doesn't have time to get a guy out 15 yards downfield.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    You guys have got to be kidding.

    Jacksonville's points against were 29th in the league this season! HOW DO WE CONSIDER THIS GUY AN OK HIRE? Who cares about any stat other than points against and points for - those are the only stats that determine the big stats. Wins and losses.

    I mean, really? Am I missing something here? I know the Jags were bad all over, but if he really was that great, their D should have been middle of the pack...

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    Uh... bad field position?

    I don't know... why must you throw out stats when I was flying mighty fine on DayQuil, pop-tarts, and Tucker is the man?!

    I'll stick with my bad field position theory.

  • From Jack Bechta over at National Football Post, item about the challenges of scouting college all star games

    i thought everyone would be interested in this bears nugget:

    Different styles/methods: The Bears staff has a private conference room for interviews and internal meetings, most of their scouting staff is here and are covering this game like their lives are at stake. Other teams will track players down and interview them in a hallway. Last night, Packers GM Ted Thompson was here keeping a low profile but intensely focusing in on a handful of players. (He most likely is stepping in for new Chiefs GM John Dorsey who is usually a fixture at these games.) The Saints, who for the last five years have feasted on finding productive undrafted free agents, also had a regalia of their top scouts here. The Titans top brass, including GM Ruston Webster is also here with a very focused list of players to watch and interview. On the contrary, some teams have just two young regional scouts here covering 116 players.

  • as is usual, I try to bring more than just football to the blog.

    This looks like a cool book that I am going to buy:

    Not sure if you ever caught his "The Wild Within" show on the travel channel, but it was very cool. I'm going to try and teach my kids to hunt/fish/camp/survival when I can. I wish my dad had done it more with me when I was a kid.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Have you looked into the Boy Scouts? I got my love of camping from them. I had a Scout Master that loved to camp. We went once or twice a month about 8 months of the year. It was awesome. Some of my fondest memories of growing up.

    If you and/or Doc have any interest, this is what I'm doing this summer. It's a one-week bike ride that starts and ends in Couer d'Alene. I'm going with 2 of my bike buddies. Both of you guys are more than welcome if you get the urge to merge.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB can't say this enough. I got my 11 year old daughter a compound bow for Christmas. Now she's shooting every Saturday in a youth league. It is the coolest thing. This is a kid that plays basketball and soccer at a very high level for her age so I was concerned she would find it boring. It's been quite the opposite. The beauty of it is that while it is a physical action, it requires very intense focus and concentration to do well. And its another thing she can do that isn't electronic so that's a plus. I don't know if she'll ever actually hunt, but she wants to as of now.
    It's great for kids to learn that food does not have to come from the store. Artoo, this is a good one to copy and keep. Get your future kids into all of the outdoor activities you can.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    Way to go, Johnny. Keep at it, and get your ass out there too.

    I started way to late (just got into backpacking the past year or so), but better than never. Perhaps someday I'll do the AT. Hopefully the majority without shoes.

    Haven't actually read this yet, but most of my hiking is without shoes. Helps that I'm in the south :)

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Dave, speaking of walking the Appalachian Trail, you should pick up A Walk in the Woods by Billl Bryson. I think you'd really enjoy it:

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Thanks Tobi. Listened to it on CD when driving to see my parents in Fla over Xmas :)

    You are right tho... I definitely enjoyed it

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm pathetic. I'll venture out into the wilderness only as far as the length of the extension cord. If I had been born in the 19th century, I wouldn't have made it past fourteen...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    You go MB. I wish I had learned it too.

  • I think I just found our backup QB. Purple Drank!

  • Two Jamarcuses... Score!

    An orange peanut... fo me!?

  • Did you see in the article that he's down to 308 from 320? WOWZA!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:


  • and yes, she looks young, but wow. Beautiful girl:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Hey 19

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I see your steely dan, and raise you....


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ha ha. I kind of liked that. I thought I remember hating Winger.

    But you can't raise me with that. Hey 19 is about an older man looking at a young woman and mourning the loss of youth. Your song is about banging a 17 yo.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Oh I see. I fold.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    oh, and the guy on the right is how I picture you look Buttsteak:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    HOW DI YOU GET THAT? I'm taking everbody's camera's next time.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    hey, you're an opportunist. I like that about you.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I was going to raise both of you with Jimmie Dale Gilmore's Jailbait but I couldn't find it on Youtube. When he's in front of the judge he says he "was so high he could hunt ducks with a rake". Great song.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I unfold and see you with this...

    It's my own keraoke version (yes, I have a slight speech impediment).

    ...and raise you with this:


  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    that last one....


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Btw, this is what made me think of karaoke:

    Scarlett Johansson was Ms. Palvin's age (19) at the time she made this film. Bill Murray resists her amazing fuck-me looks, but is that realistic? I'm ashamed to say that I am not one-hundred percent certain I could have resisted Scarlett Johansson even back as far as The Man Who Wasn't There.

    Not that teenage supermodels are throwing themselves at me, but if they were, I would have to pluck my eyes out. That's how I handle the situation in real life. As soon as something like a Barbara Palvin enters into my periphery, I look away. I feel it's my duty to their father's and myself, because there's nothing more pathetic than a middle-aged man ogling a young women (in real life - it's ok on a computer monitor. Isn't it?).

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Maybe I'm the odd man out but young girls just don't do anything for me (nor do young boys for that matter). Late 20s/early 30s is the minimum for me to start thinking "Hmmm" My sweet spot would be late 30s/mid 40s. Besides, I'd be creeped out going after someone young enough to be my daughter. What would you talk to a teenager about anyway?

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Which is exactly what I've been talking about. Except beautiful young women do indeed do something for me, and I don't believe you're being honest when you say you don't find many of them very attractive.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Actually, doing the math, any teenager would be theoretically young enough to be my granddaughter. Now that's pretty pathetic...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Talking? I think you might be missing the point, tobes.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    In response to below: I'm not saying that they aren't pretty or attractive, just that I couldn't imagine having sex with them. Maybe I'm just repressed when it comes to that but it doesn't arouse me in the least, really. However, that being said, check back with me after I've been stranded for a few months on a desert island with one....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I mean in response to above...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Ha ha. Well tobi, you have no imagination.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    A man should have a pair of imagination, I don't care how old he is.


  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Ha, EUNUCH! That would be a great vanity plate except I've already got one:

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I see you're actively trying to repel females of all ages. Do you really think you need that ID plate? I would think an older man with a glam-rock hairdoo and a car that screams midlife crisis would do well enough without the plate.

    : )

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Crunch, I'll consider that as officially being put in my place...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Oh my!

  • Fair to say that, for all his talent and records, Dan Marino got to one Super Bowl, EARLY in his career and the stories you hear now are that he was kind of a "I'm gonna do things MY way" jerk. An attitude that did not necessarily serve the Dolphins all that well in the long run despite all the tards and TDs Danny racked up?

  • Since we're discussing random things ere - I'm late in reading/responding to Doc's musings from a thread or two ago.

    I'm married over 30 years now but can't say it better than has been said. However, one thing i've thought of is how SLOW evolution is. Why in this age men are still wired to admire feminine beauty throughout life. And women are still wired to look for and then protect the security they get from a man.

    If women coudl only get that fact, we'd have happier marriages. Not less divorces, but less people feeling like they are dicontent but don't want to divorce. A guy admiring another woman doesn't imply ANY level of dissatistfcation with his spouse. Of course, guys have to "get" the fact that women need to continually feel secure.

    Obviously these are generalizations and dont' fit everyone. But I'm convinced that men's unhappiness that lead to divorce stems more from women being unwilling to accept the natural urge for men to "look".

    Physical or emotional involement is off limits of course. But one of you said having a relationship with a woman is not worth the trouble. Maybe true, maybe not. But having a relationship with TWO women is CLEARLY not worth the trouble. (Don't ask me how I know).

    Finally - Doc, your story brought to mind an old Steven Wright joke:
    "I'm in love with my dentist's assistant; I think she's very beautiful. Whenever I go for a teeth cleaning I first eat an entire bag of Oreos."

  • In reply to BillW:

    My case was pretty much the norm. Got married too young, grew apart, still friends but not much sex, bingo, bango, bongo, you're single.

  • In reply to BillW:

    Good shit, Bill.

    Yeah, I tend to agree that 99% of trouble in a marriage has to do with people not allowing their partner to just be themselves. Whether it be a man's desire to admire, or a woman's itch to bitch (I keed, I keed) You just have to let them be them. I think you're right, though, Bill. Understanding goes a long way.

  • Gp....


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yep. KFC. Talk about Facebook misleading.

    I give Megan Alexander a 6 though. At least what's seen of her.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Of inside edition? that's a 7.5... at least.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That's a chin-killa right there.

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    Chinzilla. In a wig and eyeliner it looks like Snookie's transvestite father.

  • Whatta blockhead

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Linus needs to step in and remind him of the true meaning of tits.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    If Lucy would have just let him kick the damn football, all this could have been avoided.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think the constant rejection from Peppermint Patty might have had something to do with this. And always calling him Chuck probably didn't help matters either...

  • I never meant to cause Raidah Nation any sorrow.
    I never meant to cause them any pain.
    I only wanted to one time see them cheering.
    I only wanted one more 40 ouncer of the purple drank.

    Purple drank, purple drank.
    Purple drank, purple drank.
    Purple drank, purple drank.

    I only wanted to see me bathing in the purple drank.

    I never wanted to be your draftday bust.
    I only wanted to be some kind of superstar.
    Lane Kiffin baby I could never steal from you.
    It's such a shame our friendship had to end.

    Purple drank, purple drank.
    Purple drank, purple drank.
    Purple drank, purple drank.

    I only wanted to see me underneath the purple drank.

    Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing.
    It's time we all reach out for something new,
    That means me too.
    You say you want a leader,
    But you can't seem to make up your mind.
    I think you better choose me to come back,
    And let me guide you to the purple drank.

  • you have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Oh yeah, I noticed THAT sock thing right away and was deeply offended.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Fined as he should have been. Major fashion faux pas. Made his legs look stubby and threw off completely the proportions of the uniform...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Thus spake Ms. Blackwell.

    "Learn it. Know it. Live It."

  • Ok, so bottom line is can we draft a franchise QB, or do we pay Cutty...Given we should give him a line, but what is the call? I say lean on #6. He does need some leadership skills, but if I was getting hammered back there, I'd be bitch slapping my line/OC too.

    Bottom line, Cutty is the face of the franchise, whether we like it or not, with Lach injured and possibly not in the mix next year. They have to re-sign him. No doubt. What other FA/Rookie Qb that is coming out, or available in the next 2 years you would want...and be feasible....

  • In reply to 505 Bears!!:

    My spelling/grammer sucks in this one, but it is damn late..Take me to Judge Judy!!!

  • In reply to 505 Bears!!:

    Seems to me if you give any QB enuf time in the pocket they can make good throws. But what was so frustrating to me were the number of dropped passes this year. Jay can put them right on the mark but damn, these receivers have to make the catches. Hopefully Jeffery, and KD improve on that this year.
    But the biggest thing is QB protection, and Jay to make better decisions and not try to make something out of nothing at times.

  • In reply to MaddBearfan:

    If KD is a Bear next season I will shit a solid gold brick.

  • In reply to 505 Bears!!:'re still on the "ignore all of the reaons why other QB's were successful on other teams and ignore all of the issues on the Bears while focusing on the QB and whether he is the most pressing issue tangent?"

  • "Jay Cutler is our QB."

    In other words, what other teams do is not the point. What do the BEARS do to become successful. Giving up (now) on an admittedly talented QB doesn't help. But shortening the lease to one more (full) year will - I believe. In private, telling him or at implying clearly that the expectation is that HE rises above WHATEVER adversity the team has. And credibility of the coarhing staff and management in a real COMMITMENT to improve the offense is ALL Jay can expect.

    The reality is the Bears threw pieces at the puzzle rather than trying to solve it. First Cutler. Then Martz. Then Marshall. All the time having Forte. But never a COMMITMENT to putting it together.

    We need OL help and a TE. But I suspect Emery dumped Lovie because he saw even with those pieces there would be no COMMITMENT to putting them together in a productive and reliable way.

    That's the culture change that strips away all the excuses. If Jay can't perform at a high level in that atmosphere - even with dropped passes and protection breakdowns at times - then he has decided his own fate as a perenial backup.

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