Reverend's Rant & Analyzing the Important Sunday Games

Reverend's Rant & Analyzing the Important Sunday Games

My prediction for Sunday have things breaking quite well for the Chicago Bears.

Washington at Philadelphia

Bob Griffin returns for the Redskins and I can't imagine them blowing what has become a remarkably resurgent 2012 campaign against a lifeless Eagles team finishing out the Andy Reid string. The one wild card in the proceedings is Nick Foles - who is clearly auditioning for the next coaching regime as starting quarterback. It'll be closer than folks think but Redskins pull away late. Washington 31, Philadelphia 21

New Orleans at Dallas

I don't trust the Tony Romo Cowboys. And I am sensing a lot of confidence emanating out of north Texas. This one ends with Cowboys fans saying things like, "Of course they lost this game." New Orleans 34, Dallas 30

Minnesota at Houston

Adrian Peterson's stat line: 27 carries, 145 yards, 1 touchdown. The rest of the Vikings offense: no things. Houston 24, Minnesota 10

New York Giants at Baltimore

The Giants are the most enigmatic team in the league. They've embarrassed the Niners and Packers and been embarrassed by the Bengals and Falcons. They are capable of winning and losing every single game they play by 30 points. And their quarterback is just as likely to throw  four interceptions as he is to throw four touchdowns. But everyone believes the Giants are capable of simply flipping a switch and going on another Super Bowl run. That's why they are favored in Baltimore.

But I do not like this match-up for the Giants. They have struggled to stop the run all season and Jim Caldwell's ascension to the OC role in Baltimore was predicated upon handing the rock to Ray Rice. And when the Giants don't get to the opposing quarterback their secondary - which is not good - can be exploited for big plays and big yardage. Joe Flacco has struggled but when this offense is humming they are one of the better downfield passing groups in the game.

So I think Baltimore will score - just as each of the other teams in the AFC North did against the Giants. But will the Giants score enough? My answer? No. Baltimore 27, New York 20

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  • Props to the Rev. Best of the season so far.

  • Loved the fact that the Rev name-dropped Nate Silver...fucking hilarious.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Nate for commissioner. I want stats on the likelihood that on any given Sunday, officials will wreck a game.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Nate Silver. Ha.

    I also like how the incompetency award was named after Roy Williams.

  • First to say first comment of the first post of the new baktun (sorry Cananda).

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Crunch Buttsteak said 1 day ago
    In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Cananda? Canada.
    Why do I keep doing that?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    It's a curse. I've put the Hoodoo on ya!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    You cursed my "nands." Dammit. I meant to type "nands." Dammit. Give me my nands back, witch.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Witch is it? Better the nands than the nads.

  • The Bears dressed 43, including Toe and Bush - knowing neither of them could play a down with their injuries.

    I don't think I've ever seen a professional team dress injured players and then put them on IR the very next day. That's just.. well, it's incompetent. It screams, "we don't know what we are doing."

    It's aspects of the organization like that that makes me wonder if we can win in Arizona. Cards have a good D. Let's hope Jefferies can get that bullshit out of his head and play hard, we'll need him.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    this management team if fucking brutal. I certainly hope emery is sitting in his office shaking his head and wringing his hands just waiting for the right time to fucking bring some pride and honor back the this once-great franchise GP.

    Fuck me I am tired of being a fucking laughing stock.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    is... fucking IS!

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Is there some financial implication that might explain dressing them and then putting them on IR?

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I doubt it. Anyone we sign at this point will be for the minimum. IR guys get I think half their paycheck. We're talking about very small numbers either way.

    Worth pointing out - and this is important - Phil Emery is responsible for the 53 man roster. I think the decision to dress those guys is on him.

    If I had to guess, I suspect that they were waiting for medical results didn't come soon enough to sign anyone that could function in the game plan. Better to have Bush as the emergency back rather than nobody at all. But that explanation is really shaky.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Not exactly sure on the IR pay but I thought the players received full pay. Not sure how the salcap handles it.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    The Bears re-signed Unga two days after the Seattle game (in which Bush failed to convert on 4th and inches). The following week in Minnesota, Bush had only one carry (for 6 yds) . Unga has not yet been elevated from the practice squad, afaik.

    Bush and McCown were both inactive for the Green Bay game, but Bush suited-up. I guess he was the Bears emergency QB that day.

    Wonder if he can still throw? He was a QB in HS, and was recruited as a QB in college, although he didn't get to play.

  • From last thread:

    First... Mike, thanks again for your most generous gift... I never got to post directly to you my man. It was seriously awesome.

    Ok, want the full fucking story on the pizza front... which I am the main villain - I think doc is still mad at me for this one. Yes, it was kind of my fault. here goes, a full mea culpa...

    We were walking back from the game looking for the nearest lou’s, but all of our phones were either out of juice or the GPS wasn’t really working. Doc even pulled out one of MBP’s brother’s paper maps and looked. Nothing was working. I then asked a couple friends of mine who live in Chi about directions and they both said that we were crazy to go there after a game cause we’d wait 2 hrs for a seat and for food… and the place would be filthy with tourists and packer fans.

    So we decided to try another couple spots that they recommended… they turned out to be shit and we ended up back at portillos after walking about 4 miles. In our (my) defense, we did hit:

    • Portillos (twice)
    • Ditka’s
    • Lou Mitchell’s
    • Soldier field

    In the end, we kinda all said, “oh well, at least it gives us something to come back for next time.”

    That’s all I got.

    And you're welcome tobi... wish I had more/better for you sir.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Sorry I missed you boys at Ditka's. Coughing up green sputnum is no way to introduce oneself to people, I find.

    Does remind me of Ray Winstone skit, though

  • In reply to gpldan:

    gp, if you would have met us, you'd know we would have no problem with the green sputum. You probably couldnt find a more down to earth, mellow bunch of mutha fuckas if you tried. As long as the sputum was not Packer Green we would be good. Seriously, we were disappointed you couldnt make it, we all looked forward to putting a face on gp. Hopefully you can make it to the draft party in April.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:


    Packer Green.

    Sputum Green.

    One and the same?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    that was disgusting.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    It's not like you went to shitty places. I'm sure your friends were correct about the pizza joints being packed. I don't know about you but if I had to wait for 2 hours to get a pizza and listen to some Fudgie fans being assholes (sorry for the redundancy) it wouldn't end well. Good call. No doubt pizza should be at the top of the list next trip. Except for Doc. Sounds like the price of that trip went up exponentially once he got back. YIKES!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Well...right after a game is really tough guys...since everything nearby is usually packed..However here are a few choices you can hit next time...

    Giordano's - Many downtown locations Not my favorite Pizza in town but still very good.

    Italian Village - One of the oldest Italian Restaurants Downtown...a bit more expensive than Pizza but it won't be too crowded since only the locals know about it.

    Lalo's Mexican Restaurant - on Maxwell.
    Great traditional Mexican food and Strong Margaritas...Good Stuff

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Of course, after walking 4 miles and settling on portillo's again, we did discover a famous pizza joint one block from our hotel.

    You made it up for it, MB, with three of the most delicious taco's I've ever had.

  • Bang! Bang!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to give you a hard time about not eating Chicago pizza (well, not really anyway). It's too bad it didn't work out, but yeah, it does give you something to come back for.

    And I had to chuckle at the "Portillo's (twice)". When we go back (me, the wife and the kids) we'll end up having Portillo's for lunch, the Lou's for dinner. Then the next day we'll talk about where to go for lunch. Everybody looks at everybody else, and we head back to Portillo's for lunch. If we are there for 7 days we will probably eat at Portillo's or Lou's 5 out of 7.

    Hagen's Fish Market in Portage Park usually gets in there once for their fried shrimp. An a place who's name I can't remeber in Greek Town for giros.

    And don't get me started on Blues Bars...

  • Johnny, you should do a write up on the P coat story at Ditkas. I can still see you, vodka tonic, one in each hand, up in those guys faces! Damn good times!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    I will....and I lost that Pea Coat that night by the way. I have ordered a new one that will be here in time for xmas. yay!

  • In reply to Waffle:

    I'm so fashion ignorant, I discovered while in chicago, that I'm one of the last people on the planet without a Pea coat.

    But you know what? I'm okay with that.

    I was also the only person in Chicago donning a flannel.

  • I wear them because they are 200% wool and are warm as balls. They don't look half bad.

    Keep rocking the flannel. You're almost from Seattle and because fuck them that's why.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    and my coat costs 90.00 so I can keep re-buying them if they are stolen by strippers and other creatures of the night.

  • In reply to Waffle:


    creatures of the night.

    Fuck yes old navy!

  • Doc,I dont know if its any consolation, but I still wear the flannel. It was like 40 degrees Doc, usually Chicago doesnt break those out till 20 or under.

  • Shit Doc, I'd have been there with you on the flannel. I wore them a lot in the winters when I lived up north. Guess I did not pay much attention to the fashion aspect of them since about 1982 when I moved to San Antonio. Not much call for them in Texas or SC, but I still have a couple.

  • I had to look up Pea Coat to find out what it is. I wear a black insulated flannel as my casual jacket to the bars until the temps drop into the low 30's.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Years ago In my glory days, I bought a full length coyote fur coat. Between that and my hair at the time being half way down my back, I got more attention than I was comfortable with. Used it as a comforter on my bed for a while and then just put it into storage. Maybe I'll break it out if next year if there's another late season DBB Bears game/get-together. I'll say one thing, if the temps weren't in the twenties or lower, I'd sweat my ass off in it...

  • In reply to tobijohn:


    Things I never heard anyone say...

    "I bought a full length coyote fur coat."

    If you had a cane and brim rimmed hat, you'd be straight pimping Tobi!

  • Yup, my ex-wife said the same thing. In fact, her exact quote was " In New York City, the only men who wear fur coats are either pimps or queens." That's when it turned into a comforter...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I used to rock the hair half way down my back. Part hippy, part metal head. I cut it for a job and don't miss the work involved having long hair. Had a blue jean jacket with a huge Iron Maiden "Piece of Mind" emblem on the back. Needless to say, but that attracted more attention from the cops. Luckily the police back then didn't search you without real probable cause, since I usually had a big bag of medicinal herbs on me all the time. I got out of a lot of tight situations. You should turn that coat into a centerpiece of a great halloween costume.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Got sick of it myself and kept it at a conventional length for about ten years. Then in the late 80s said screw it, and let it grow out again....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Let your freak flag fly Tobi. Coyote fur coat. Awesome. Googling it now

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    There's a picture of me wearing it somewhere. Not sure if I have it or one of my sisters back in Chicago has it. I'll make a note to myself to dig it up. It's good for a few laughs...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    In the meantime, if you want to throw up a little in your mouth, here's one from the archives. I think I was about twenty at the time. And before any of you wise asses can ask, I'm the one on the left:

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Holy crap tobi, you had hair like one of my best buddies. What kind of music were you listening to back in the day? What do you enjoy now?

  • Fashion ignorant is fashion forward, Doc.

    I've been telling myself that for 20 years.

  • sleeveless flannels
    cut off bibs
    that is beach attire
    in swfla
    wool is good
    in a trench coat
    pea coats or trench
    could be had in the 60's
    for $3.00
    at your local 2nd hand
    delivered a catalogue
    to my 1%'rs that had
    said pea coat for
    on the pizza thing
    it all tastes better
    after a W

  • I don't know why I love these so much, alas....

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I know why. They're fucking hilarious. Almost makes me want to get a cell phone with auto correct turned on high. Actually laughing at that stuff. You know, lol-ing.

  • hahahaha... I actually had tears this morning.

    The mom one about her pussy was so fucking bad. damn.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


    and "Is that Kim Jong Il"
    "No, it's Brittany Spears"

    too much

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • REV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    best rant of the season...I think I just shot hot coffee through my nose laughing so hard!!!!!


    p.s. you may want to keep some baby Bayer aspirin nearby just in case of heart palpitation's brah...I'm just saying..

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    +1 Was definitely a great rant!

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    Definitely the best rant of the year. I played a bunch of the Rev's rants for my old man and he was laughing his ass off. I'll be sure to play this one for him on Christmas.

  • I'm heading out for the weekend and may not have a chance to jump on the blog before the game this sunday. I want to leave you with 2 thoughts and 2 thoughts only.

    1. Lindley, whoever the fuck he is, Dead.
    2. Playoffs and Beyond. You gotta believe.


  • In reply to Waffle:

    I believe the Bears have a very good chance of finishing 10-6. Minnesota, not so good at all.

    But the Bears really (really really really) need Baltimore to beat the Giants this week. If the Giants win, they will finish 10-6 (they are not going to lose to Philly in the final week of the season with the playoffs on the line).

    If the Giants finish 10-6, the Bears chances of making the playoffs hinge on some highly unlikely outcomes.

    Go Bears/Ravens.

  • So, was yesterday supposed to be the end of the world, or is that today?

    So far, status quo....

  • That'll be Sunday, if he Bears lose.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:


  • Have to say I did not pay any attnetion to the tiebreaker scenarios that leave the Bears with a real chance at missing the playoffs at 10-6. I asumed all along they'd lose to GB but would get in with the next two wins (not that they were gimmes by any means).

    How discomforting it must be for the players. I guess that's why Lance said it was his worst nightmare. And it really strikes me in a bad way - two of the losses (I think Seattle and Minn) Lovie acknowledge not being ready to play. Whose is to blame is not material - it was clear they weren't and that's on the players too.

    So I have to wonder if they saw this tough stretch and had no sense of urgency since they figured 10-6 would be enough. Not consciously of course, but sometimes you wonder if in the waer and tear of the season if players do in fact let up without being aware of it.

    In one way, the Bears season is already "over"; they lost their last chance to beat a good team, and so even at 10-6 the reality is they have no signature wins. Luck's first game and the Cowboy game don't count - nor does that one win against Minn. In retrospect, it would have taken a win against GB, Houston, or SF to shake that "can't beat the good teams" lable.

    Unfair as it is, had they beaten Seattle and assuming Seattle loses to SF, no one would have considered that a win against a good team. I know the circular logic I just exposed, but that's how it works.

    So I still feel Emery already has decided he needs to go in another direction, and I sincerly hope it's with an offense minded coach. I think the defensive coordinators getting HC jobs is going to slow down if not stop - for a while at least. Lovie and Rex Ryan together have exposed that as a risky if not failing strategy.

    By the way- anyone make it out to Payton's Hill?

  • In reply to BillW:

    lighten up francis.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Awesome Stripes reference!

  • In reply to BillW:

    Isn't Belichick from the defensive side of the ball? No matter, your point is valid...

  • In reply to BillW:

    Nope, unfortunately trip for sure.

  • *who's to blame...

  • Yes, I know. You're welcome.

    If this isn't THE definition of value I don't know what is... Doc, yes. look at this one.

  • guess it can always be worse:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Benny Hill makes everything better.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Love that tune too, as well as all the sexist overtones. Just good clean comedy

  • In reply to gpldan:

    so true GP, so true

  • I'll be in AZ for the game cheering on Da Bears, keeping expectations low. But man, if we lose to the Cards, that would be pretty terrible.

  • Tim Tebow for the Bears

    Yes, I hear your collective groans, but before you turn me away like a Jehovah witness on your front steps, give me a chance to make the argument.

    1. The Bears don’t have a long term 2nd QB.

    Jason Campbell is only on a one year contract, and who knows if he’ll be back next year. Not only that, but in his limited opportunity to shine, he hasn’t. True, maybe some of that had to do with Tice’s anemic scheme, or lack of preparation, or going against a top 3 D in SF, but bottom line, he didn’t get it done, and releasing him would save the Bears a few million bucks to pursue a LT or TE.

    Even if Campbell does return at a drastically reduced way, the Bears can always stash Tebow as their 3rd QB.

    2. Bears need a short yardage/TD threat.

    How many 3rd and ones have the Bears failed to convert? How many field goals instead of TDs have the Bears settled for? These have been part of the reason why their O has ranked around 30. Bush is good, but he’s been injured.

    In comes perhaps the best short yardage/TD threat in the league. Tebow! Tebow! Tebow.

    Unlike Bush, Tebow doesn’t need a good oline to get yards. He simply barrels through the first tackler, which is good, cause we get no push whatsoever. He would also be a threat to throw it, and Tebow is actually not bad on short/medium routes. Besides, how accurate does Tebow have to be to chuck it up to Marshall/Alshon for 5 yards?

    The D would be forced to prepare extra for the wild-cat. And with Marshall, they couldn’t put an extra man in the box to stop Tebow, leaving a hungry competitive 240 pound HB charging at the line.

    3. No distractions here.

    One thing the Bears excel at is keeping everything ho-hum. Tebow wouldn’t become a distraction on this team because Cutler is the unquestioned #1. Looking at Cutler rifle it 50 yds through triple coverage should end any possible debate about that.

    4. Cutler concussions.

    It’s sadly almost inevitable. Even if we do dramatically upgrade the Oline, it will still take some time for them to gel, and in the meanwhile, Cutler will once again be running for his life. Well, if he does go down, we would have another QB who actually excels at running. Our bad oline actually would be a good fit since Tebow usually makes the biggest plays when the line breaks down (and does it ever in Chi).

    He’s good at improving, and so is Marshall. When the Oline breaks down, Tebow could make a run for it, or chuck it to Marshall, or even dump it off to Forte/Bush/Bennett.

    One of the reasons Campbell struggled is because he’s not a scrambler. Also why McCown (who could scramble) seemed more effective than Campbell.

    5. Sum.

    Tebow by now should accept that he’s a back-up QB at best, and as such, shouldn’t expect too much or demand high money. He’d come to a play-off contending team with a stable locker room, that oh btw, is coached by another devout Christian (Forte and a few others seem to be pretty religious too, for what that’s worth).

    Tebow could fill the role of back-up QB AND power-rb. Hell, maybe the Bears could put him at TE/FB in the ultimate “Joker’ position. And imagine what Toub could do with him on SP teams. God knows we need help in all those areas.

    There is also the added benefit of Tebow’s fiery attitude which could spark our O when we really need it. Just imagine that 3rd and 1 against SEA which would have closed out the game, or when the Bears were at the 5 against the Packers…Tebow comes in…you honestly think the Pack could have kept Tebow out on 3 straight tries from 5 yards out?

    Tebow should be on the Bears.

    (Ducks head…)

  • I didn't read past the first sentence.

    Are you fucking crazy!?!?!?!??!!

    ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!?????????

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    In the perhaps the biggest cliche of all action movies...

    It just might be crazy enough to work!

    Let's face it - the wild-cat, read-option, pistol makes Os more dynamic, and how could Tebow hurt us? Drop us from 30th to 31st O in the league?

    Bang! Bang!

  • how about getting someone to run it who's not total and utter dog-shit? Just askin

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Open Mind MB! Everyone seems to fixate on his poor mechanics. I saw Billy Kilmer play for the Redskins, he threw more wobbly ducks and ugly passes than anyone I have ever seen. Bottom line, he won. He lost the Super Bowl to the undefeated Dolphins. Tebow threw well enough to win a National Championship and turn Percy Harvin into a first round choice. I say give him a shot. Keep McCown and give Tebow a shot for the right price. I'm with ya 4ever!
    MB, we can settle this arm wrestling! hahahaha

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Tebow also threw for 300 yards and beat the #1 D in the Steelers last year in the playoffs. He can win a few games when needed.

    Also, who has worse mechanics than Cutler? He basically keeps the ball on his hip, waiting for Marshall to get open. Also, I've seen more than a few wobblers thrown by Peyton this year, but they always get where they're supposed to go.

    MB30s just Hater-ading!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    my god you two.... my GOD!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    (see how I did that)

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Tebow reminds me of a more athletic Joe Kapp.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    ^^^^^^ THIS!!!!!

  • Sure, why not? If one can think outside the box, that could actually work (except for the permanent #2 QB backup part). Of course, it will never happen....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    All our backup QBs have lost, Tobi. The last one who actually won was Orton, and I'd be more than OK with signing him back as #2 and Tebow as #3, but honestly, I think I'd prefer Tebow because he has proven he can win on short notice.

    Ideally, I would want Tebow as #2 and Blanchard as #3 - Blanchard looked good in PS, and we need to start developing QBs like the Pack and Pats.

    (Also, I meant that Tebow and Marshall are good at IMPROVISING - not improving)

  • How many years is Orton's deal with the Cowboys? Will he even be available next year?

  • we shoulda kept
    mat blanchard
    the gunslinger from
    wisc. whitewater
    everyone else had
    great rookie QB play
    why can't we ever
    find that diamond

  • The Packers haven't really been busy developing qb's. They had a Hall of Famer forever and drafted Rodgers in the first round. He learned under Favre but was going to be a star no matter what. So who have they developed? Flynn? He couldn't win a starting job in Seattle over a 3rd round rookie. How about the Pats? Brady's it. Has been forever.  Matt Cassel? No thanks. I just don't see what you mean by developing QB's 4.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    All those guys are better than any backups we ever "developed".

    Unlike our guys, they actually won games.

    Cassel won 10 of them. Developing is taking guys and putting then in the right system.

    Something we fail to do.

  • I'm actually OK with that.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I think it all depends on if Tebow accepts his role as a back-up QB and "Joker: (FB/TE/HB). If he does, then this could work, and add a much needed dynamic to our O.

    I just wonder, if Tebow were to be released by the Jets right now, I can almost guarantee that the Pats would pick him up if possible and instantly make him a threat somehow.

    The Bears have got to start getting creative.

  • Maybe I'm not headed to AZ, flight just got delayed 3hrs.

    Guess I'll have to go hang out at the newly opened Buffalo Wild Wings for a bit.

  • In reply to ben in norcal:

    Ben, you flyin' out of SFO? My daughter almost got stuck there last night on the way to AZ to see the game (and in-laws).

    You can't fly direct from southern Oregon to anywhere except SFO, Portland, or Seattle. So she hops into SFO 40 minutes delayd from OR. No problem, still 20 minutes to get to the next gate. Nope, plane sits on the runway for 15 minutes because all the gates are full. She misses the AZ flight of course. They tell her there are no more flights to Phoenix with open seats until Saturday! She finally did find a flight and got into AZ at 1:00AM.

    All reasons why I *never* fly over the holidays.

    Hope you make it there man.

  • good luck ben

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Jesse, are you the one who used to reference the Trailer Park Boys? Damn, I love that show since I started watching it on Netflix. I'm pretty sure you got me into the Jerky Boys, and maybe some all star wrestling sagas.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    I can neither confirm nor deny these (and any and all) allegations brought against me here, or anywhere else Corm.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm a history buff MB. I'm pretty sure you led me to an epic link about the history of Hulk Hogan vs Randy "Macho Man" Savage a few years ago. You also inadvertently turned me into a Jerky Boys fan and The Trailer Park Boys. I thank you for all the entertainment I've received since then. I don't watch much TV, but I do have Netflix on the computer. Thanks for getting me into those shows and all the hot chicks. You have good taste in women. Call me old-fashioned, but my favorites are still Raquel Welch, Sophia Loren, and Kathy Ireland.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    TPB is from Canada. It truly represents Canadian humor. it's dumb as hell but almost impossible not to laugh. the little town where we have a house had Mr Leahy and Randy appear. Completely nuts but funny. Unfortunately Mr Leahy in person is not that much different than on screen. he got completely hammered.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    and I believe it was actually you who lead corm to TPB canada... I can, or may not, take credit for the rest.

  • I'm trying to imagine Tim Tebow with joker's whiteface, saying "this town needs a better class of quarterback.... and I'm going to give it to them...."

  • She looks like Ozzy with (slightly) bigger boobs...

  • In reply to gpldan:

    meh, I'd fuck her.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    How's this GP:

    I think I'd be more than a little scared.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ok, ok... so this is MUCH more my style:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    And I like your style sir.

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    thank you sir. And I, yours.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Laaaast one.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    you're welcome.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Also, a reposted reply to your Epic Quest for Pizza story above.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to give you a hard time about not eating Chicago pizza (well, not really anyway). It's too bad it didn't work out, but yeah, it does give you something to come back for.

    And I had to chuckle at the "Portillo's (twice)". When we go back (me, the wife and the kids) we'll end up having Portillo's for lunch, the Lou's for dinner. Then the next day we'll talk about where to go for lunch. Everybody looks at everybody else, and we head back to Portillo's for lunch. If we are there for 7 days we will probably eat at Portillo's or Lou's 5 out of 7.

    Hagen's Fish Market in Portage Park usually gets in there once for their fried shrimp. An a place who's name I can't remeber in Greek Town for giros.

    And don't get me started on Blues Bars...

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    Pizzano's was Murph's suggestion Mike.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Mine too..

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    next time i'm going tobi

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Hopefully, I'll meet ya there, MB...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    indeed tobi!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Pizzano's is excellent. I prefer Malnati's.

    Any good Chicago Pizza joint is in another universe from anything I have ever had anywhere out here on the left coast.

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    Lou Malnati's is excellent stuff too. I don't know if it's coincidental or not but the guy who started Pizano's is named Malnati and his father co-owned Pizzeria Uno which years ago was the place that put Chicago deep dish on the map. Wonder if it's the same family..

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    Mike, I take it you're originally from Chicago. If I may ask, whereabouts?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Gosh, those tattoos are so tasteless...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Tastelessly sexy… as all hell.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I've got a bit of ink so I'm certainly not anti-tattoo but I just don't get those script tattoos. Usually you have to stand on your head and it takes about 5 minutes to read them. After you read them it's usually WTF? I used to hang out in a tattoo shop for a few years so I've seen it all. I'm constantly amazed by people getting tattoos without putting any thought into it. You're going to have it for the rest of your life so think about it. And for god's sake don't get a discount tattoo. Nothing good can come from that!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Tattoos remind me too much of marriage. Very difficult and expensive to reverse the process...

  • OK, back to Bears football for a moment. From Dan Pompei at the Trib. Take that, all you Mike Tice haters:

    Based on the heat Mike Tice has been feeling, you would think he has been the one who has been giving up the sacks, committing false starts, throwing the interceptions, running the wrong routes and plowing into the backs of blockers.

    The Bears offense has a lot wrong with it.

    But seeing Tice carries a clipboard rather than a wizard's wand, there hasn't been much the offensive coordinator could do to make it better.

    The Tribune asked three opposing coaches who have gone against Tice's offense this year and two front office men about Tice's game planning, play calling and use of personnel. None of them thought he has done poorly.

    One defensive coordinator said he would "bet his life" Tice is not the problem with the Bears offense.

    "I know Mike Tice is one fine football coach," he said. "Hell, they changed from Mike Martz and said it was his fault, so now they have Mike Tice and now it's his fault. It's easy to tag Mike Tice."

    Said one head coach, "I really like the way they try to do things on offense. It just hasn't worked the way they wanted it to."

    The offensive coordinator admittedly had two bad games — the road losses to the Packers and 49ers. In both, he didn't help his offensive linemen enough, and against the Packers he was too dependent on the pass. Tice, however, was guilty of having too much confidence in some of his offensive linemen.

    Other than that, Tice has been pretty consistent and pretty solid.

    The most commonly heard criticism of the Bears offense is it lacks rhythm. And it's true.

    But it's difficult to have good rhythm when you are the second worst team in the NFL on first downs. The Bears have gained four or more yards on those just 40 percent of the time. Only the Cardinals, at 39.5, have been worse.

    The Bears have run a play that has gone backward 11 percent of the time. Only two teams have had more plays for negative yardage. And that's not including penalties. The Bears offense has been penalized 52 times, fifth most in the NFL.

    That's why the offense frequently is in second-and-long and third-and-long, and that's why the offense has no rhythm.

    "When you don't do well enough on first downs, it's hard to find a rhythm on second and long," Tice said. "Do you go to get it to third-and-medium, or try to get the first down, or take a shot?"

    Negative plays have led to being too reliant on deep balls. According to STATS, 13.1 percent of their pass attempts have been for 21 yards or more. That ranks sixth highest in the NFL.

    And Jay Cutler and Jason Campbell have managed to complete only 28.6 percent of those throws.

    One defensive assistant said the Bears could benefit from higher-percentage passes. But that's on Cutler as much as Tice because the quarterback often is reluctant to check down.

    "Tice must create game plans that allow more passes to be completed with less stress so that Cutler doesn't feel that he has to force the ball into tight coverage," he said. "Great QBs have the confidence to throw into tight windows for the high risk/high reward play but they also need to have enough success to allow them to feel good about taking those shots downfield."

    The Bears have neither the offensive linemen nor the receivers to have a dynamic deep passing game.

    "Early in the year they had good plans," an NFC front office man said. "They used a rhythm, passing attack and got rid of the ball quickly. But they changed that lately because of their line. It's hard to be flexible when you don't have an offensive line."

    The issues with containing edge rushers have led to the Bears keeping Matt Forte in to chip more than Tice prefers, and also have prevented tight ends from running pass routes. All of which has made the passing game more dysfunctional still.

    The opponents who were polled noted Brandon Marshall has been the only consistent offensive threat. The head coach said his team knew the ball would be going to Marshall a lot, so he adjusted.

    But none of them found the play calling predictable.

    "There have not been glaring tendencies that tip you off," the NFC front office man said. "I wouldn't bash their game plans."

    The defensive assistant said he would not call the Bears offense predictable, but he said teams can try to take away Marshall and make them play "left-handed," or not to their strengths.

    It is true Tice has not been able to get this offense humming.

    But nobody could — without pixie dust.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    define coordinate

    Bring the different elements of (a complex activity or organization) into a relationship that will ensure efficiency or harmony.

    I ain't seeing Tobi. We can't seem to get the plays called in time for Cutler to get the damned play off, before the play clock disrupts our efficiency and harmony.

    Not hatin. Just sayin.

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    >I ain't seeing it Tobi.<

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    I don't know enough about that aspect of the game to even be entitled to an opinion. I just threw it out there to see what stuck. I have to respect the opinions (but necessarily agree with them) of those who have far more familiarity and observational experience...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    tobi, If I was a DC from another team, I'd say I thought Tice was great too! I'd sleep better on Saturday night before I played them. He does bear responsibility for the penalties, false starts, poor technique and everything else. He was the line coach and our line last year was nothing to brag about. He has major input on the decisions of who stays who goes, whoa starts and who sits. For some reason he didnt want to play Williams, he cuts him, and we have no one that plays left guard near to how he performed last year. All the mistakes we make, its all in the practice and preparation. It's on him!! You see how Harbaughs preparation and coaching changed basically the same players Singletary had from losers into winners. Is it all him? I dont know, but I feel he is responsible for most of it. His lack of experience shows and he has been plain out-coached on many occasions. I feel so fucking frustrated with this whole situation.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    You might be interested in the following. It was posted one day prior to the Bears-49er's game:

    Bears-49ers matchups: Part V – Vic Fangio vs Mike Tice
    Posted on November 18, 2012 by Grant Cohn

    This matchup isn’t even close. It’s like Mike Tyson vs. Michael Spinks. Fangio is a good defensive coordinator and Tice is not a good offensive coordinator.

    Tice isn’t going to have anything creative or unusual in the Bears offensive game plan. He’s going to be ultra-conservative and predictable without starting QB Jay Cutler.

    Fangio’s going to know when to play the run and when to play the pass, and he’ll stop both. He’s going to get a ton of pressure on Jason Campbell.

    Fangio will have Tice all figured out by the end of the first quarter at the latest, and Tice will not be able to adjust.

    The truth hurts.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    That's a good point regarding Jim Harbaugh. I had forgotten about how last year I wondered how SF could be so much better than they were the year before with basically the same roster...

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    100% with you Mike.

    I call bullshit... not on you tobi, but on the article.

    Tice is the one that needs to fucking figure it out, it's his responsibility.

    Doubling the blame, is't he the asshole who told emery and lovie that 'he can make what we have work. I believe in the guys we have."?

    In my mind, he should be toast just on that alone.

  • I was at the game on Sunday against Green Bay. I just started re-watching the game on DVR, no matter how painful.. At the game, live, my cousin started yelling out "Hester's calling a timeout" way before the ball was snapped. He said it several times in the upper north end zone way before the ball was snapped. Green Bay was given a first down. Bears D stopped them.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    I thought the entire section was going to have a coronary when that happened.
    We were SO fucking hot at that point at the refs.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Rabbit probably wanted to kill me when that happened....

    I was screaming and saying what the fuck over and over hitting him.

    We were right there (next section over from corm). Hester fucking shouts over to the ref who was literally 10 feet away from him and was making the timeout signal litterally 15 times... right to his face. The ref does nothing, then they kick it... THE SAME FUCKING REF steps back, pulls out his little yellow flag, and throws it at hester.

    I was literally in fucking shock. What in THEE fuck!?!?!?

    Again, we lost that game, but the refs LOVE the packers man. We got fucked MULTIPLE times that game.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Glad I don't have a dvr.

  • I can honestly say that in my short time of being a member of this blog, I think we have covered every topic known to man.

    Wouldn't have it any other way.

  • At risk of starting something I'd rather not be part of, I don't recall as yet an involved discussion of bestiality.

    Before an discussion immediately devolves, I will point out that the Merriam Webster online dictionary provides three definitions, viz.

    1: the condition or status of a lower animal
    2: display or gratification of bestial traits or impulses
    3: sexual relations between a human being and a lower animal

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    by definition Dave, I'm fine with #1 and #2...

    ...once you get to #3 you're talking about being a packers fan, so no thanks.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    In my opinion, That putdown ranks right up there with Lloyd Bentsen's:,_you%27re_no_Jack_Kennedy

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Oh I don't think I deserve to be in that venerated company, but thanks Tobi.

  • In theory, the last thing our offense needs is the disruption of having yet another in a long string of OCs, come in with new playbook, new styles etc. In reality though, it just seems like that is where the dysfunction is right now.

    I would *really* love to hear what Jay would say on the subject. Not what he would say to the media, what he would say to his friends, to Marshall for example. He would be the player most directly impacted by any change in OC. Getting a new one would have serious downside risk for him, but I can't help thinking he would be the first to board the new OC bus.

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    Totally agree Mike. I'm glad that Cutler isn't getting killed as bad with Tice vs Martz but that's about the only upside to Tice's O. Fuck we stink. I'm not going to absolve Tice but there is some truth to that article. We truly have a bottom 3 OL. Other than Lance not one of those other 4 start on any other team.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    All of which makes the Cookie thing so inexplicable.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Totally agree. The only thing I can figure was Cookie was so low intensity it drove the coaches crazy. Although Webb is a pretty low wattage bulb in more than one way.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Ya mean like...I don't know....LOVIE?

  • Yeah, kinda like that.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Canada, Cutty is getting it worse from Tice than Martz. Last year Cutty was sacked 23 times in 10 games for a 2.3 per game avg. This year he has been sacked 35 times in 13 games for a 2.6 avg per game. So your perception isn't the reality. Tice IS sucking big time!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Can't argue with the #'s. With Martz it seemed like he was so stubborn that when it was obvious the OL couldn't handle the job he wouldn't change anything (the Giants game). Tice tries to protect Cutler by keeping the TE's and RB's in to block. With no safety valves it seems like Cutler stands back there, refuses to throw it away and then gets sacked. To me it seems like Cutler is at fault for a lot of the sacks under Tice. Not so much with Martz. Don't get me wrong, Tice blows.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Your point has merit, but I recall yelling for Cutler to throw it away a whole lot last season and the one before that.

    I don't know what it is about Cutler. Is it lack of faith in his teammates that he can't say, "fuck it, I'll live to fight another down", and just chuck it?

    If I were a QB in the NFL, I would study film of guys like Joe Montana and Brady and yes, even Rodgers. I'd look to see what it was about their game that made them great. And if I did those things, I would surely notice the poise and savvy of a leader willing to throw the ball away.

    Rodgers learned that part of his game by watching Favre do the opposite (it's been said). It seems if Cutty does do this, study tape of the greats I mean, he must only study Brett Favre tapes. Even studying his own game tape should tell him that he needs to throw the ball away more.

    So what is it about Jay Cutler, that he doesn't see it? Is he that arrogant? Does he think he's so much better than all these proven greats that have come before him, that he shouldn't learn from them? Or is he just lazy? Does he not spend hours watching tape? I would think a minimum of three hours a week, the amount of game a mediocre level football fan would watch, would do the trick. It really is a puzzling mystery.

  • His quarterback rating is pretty consistent every year of his career. The "gunslinger" tag fits. At this stage in his career, I'm afraid he's not going to change.

  • I get the feeling he thinks if he doesn't get it done, it won't happen. Probably some merit with this terrible offense. He gets beat up needlessly by always trying to make something happen and his refulsal to slide/throw it away. It seems like he's regressed this year. Martz was an a-hole but he made Cutler toe the line. Tice and Bates seem like they don't hold him accountable. Who knows?

  • Trauma does awful things to people. Molestation victims sometimes become sex addicts, combat vets seek-out danger, hostages sympathize with their captors. Cutler ultimately just wants to be hugged.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Joking, of course.

    I think Cutler gets a lot of crap for contributing to his own sack count, but little credit for his ability to dodge defenders. A less slippery QB who frequently bails would be sacked as often as Cutler, imo.

    Remember that 56 yard pass to Brandon Marshall in the final seconds of the Seattle game? Cutler avoided a couple of sacks on that play:

    There are many more (and better) examples but I don't have the links handy. The point is, Cutler turns sacks into gains, in the air and on the ground. Yeah, he turns sacks into incomplete passes and interceptions too. He often takes sacks rather than wasted downs. But if he didn't try to make things happen on broken plays, with the pocket collapsing all around him, he'd never get anything done.

    So I agree with Cananda that Cutler believes "if he doesn't get it done, it won't happen," except I would say Cutler is absolutely correct in that belief. He is also correct in the belief that Bears fans would run him out of town if he bailed as often as he should.

  • On the Tebow discussion. A few points:

    1) Tebow is a great athlete and I don't think that he would create controversy if put on a team with stable leadership. The fans might make trouble, but the locker room would be solid.

    2) This notion of playing Tebow as a "joker" all over the field is silly. He wants to play QB. He's built like a very strong QB, or a very small RB. If you want a 3rd and short guy, get a true full back. Get Tyler Clutts.

    3) Tebow is not a good backup to Cutler. While Cutler might not be the best QB in the league, the passing offense is built around his cannon for an arm. An offense built around Tebow doesn't look for those kinds of throws - which Cutler, you want a backup who can run a lot of the same plays. Tebow is not that guy.

    4) The whole "imagine the possibilities" and "defenses will have to prepare for the wildcat" thing sounds a lot better than it is. The triple option offense works very rarely in the NFL because the defenders are really really good. They are too fast and too disciplined to fall for trick plays except in rare circumstances where there is a clearly identified weakness. You can't build an offense around a trick play guy - even an offense that take 5-10 snaps a game. I know it worked for Miami for a season, but generally speaking the teams that have tried it since then have failed.

    5) Even if we did bring in Tebow to run the wildcat. Do we really have the personnel to make it happen? Our WRs are definitely big enough to block, which is nice, but I don't recall us getting a lot of mileage out of the draws and playactions we're trying this year. Before we do the deception stuff well, we need to get better at the simple bread and butter plays. Short to intermediate passes, obvious runs, even the seven step drop. If we can't sell those, the trick stuff is just tricking ourselves.

  • How good is the NFC North this year?

    The Vikings have arguably the best running back of all time. Along with a bunch of other records, he is threatening to break the all time single season rushing record.

    The Lions have arguably the best wide reciever of all time. Along with a bunch of other records, tonight he broke the all time single season receiving record (with a game to play). He may be the first WR to go over 2000 yards in a season.

    The Packers have one of the best offenses in football led by Aaron Rodgers. In what some consider a down year, Rodgers has scored 32 touchdowns and carries an average rating of 104.7 for the year. The rest of the team isn't bad either.

    The Bears have one of the most dominant defenses in football. Charles Tillman set a record by causing 4 forced fumbles in a single game (as a cornerback). Tim Jennings, who has been injured for a few weeks now, still leads the league with 8 interceptions. And this is without mentioning Brandon Marshall leading the league with 107 catches.

  • Got my shirts today, and they look great. Thanks Jeff. Can't wait to show it off at the bar against Detroit.

    The Cardinals suck. Detroit has lost 7 straight. If the Bears don't win both of these games, I say give Lovie the boot. I want to see the Bears get the 6 seed and get one more shot at GB. Fuck those assholes.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    With ya all the way, brother. If nothing else, I'd love to see someone on the D-line ruin Rodgers' day. Not to mention possibly seeing Marshall run Woodson into a goal post. I'd settle for Mathews getting high/lowed and doing pelvic thrusts into the turf. Other than that, I'm not bitter.

  • Hey Tobi, I tried to answer your question above, but the gnomes stole the reply button from you post. Yeah, I grew up in Chicago on the south side in a kinda tough neighborhood called Morgan Park. 111th and Hale ave. alongside the the Rock Island tracks. Left for California in '84

    I know one of the regs on here is from Beverly. That's the nice neighborhood next to Morgan Park. Which one of you guys is from Beverly?

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    I know the area well Mike, surrounded by Roseland, Merrionette park, Beverly. Johnny is from Beverly area. Where did you go to school? Morgan Park academy?

  • In reply to MikeV in OR:

    I grew up in the north suburbs (Deerfield/Northbrook) but all my relatives on my father's side lived on the south side and ended up in the Oak Lawn/Evergreen Park area after being uprooted when they built the Dan Ryan. That south side connection is I think why I was one of the few White Sox fans north of Jackson Blvd. Lived in various parts of the city (mostly downtown) from my early twenties on. Spent the better part of the nineties in NYC and moved to South Florida about ten years ago (ex-wife's idea, as are the eight cats I got stuck with when she moved on). Despite the winters, if the opportunity presented itself, I don't think I'd have a problem moving back to Chicago. This place isn't the paradise everyone up north seems to think it is....

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