When the Bears Win... [Original Song]

Thanks to my girlfriend Sarah's bongos. And her drums.

I will have a something resembling a full recap of this afternoon's game either late tonight or first thing tomorrow morning. It will involve Tim Jennings quite a bit. Then we begin the quick sprint. Because remember kids...

'Tis Packer Week.

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  • First to say 1 down. Can you guys coordinated your D and D games off the site? It's starting to take away from the luster of the blog.

  • Thanks to my girlfriend Sarah's bongos.

    Your 8" penis closes the deal, there, blogfather.

    Heading to my Lexis now...

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I meant Lexus. Doh! I don't have a Lexus.... sigh...

  • We win!!!!

    And no Crown, we can't.

    This blog is multi-purpose. I for one used to love hearing stories of your sexual escapades, even if this isn't a Penthouse Forum. I hated hearing Trac's religious based hatred, so I skipped over them.

  • Well then game on playa.

  • Why is it when Christians express their beliefs, so many call it hatred? I'm *not* Christian, but I really just don't get it. Is it because I was raised in a non-religious household and I don't have all the baggage?

    Seriously, sincerely... I just don't get it.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    There were several particular posts, that I'm sure you would agree, were hate filled. Several aimed directly at me. Trac was an opinionated bitter dude. I don't consider christian musings to be hate based in general, just the ones that are hate based.

  • Really? Was that really Trac, or was it you?

    I'm not accusing or taking sides - it's just something to think about Doc. Sometimes I have a hard enough time understanding my own motivations, let alone those of others.

  • In reply to SC Dave:


  • In reply to SC Dave:

    When I said, "not there's anything wrong with that" in response to somebody saying somebody else was gay, Trac called me a scourge. He said that I am an Apostate and that I should not be a teacher.

    If that aint hatred founded on religious principles, then I don't know what is.

    Yeah, I was just being sensitive. He's had similar tyrranical posts to others. Maybe that's his way of showing love. Thanks for opening my eyes to that, Dave.

    Trac was a dick. Period.

  • I've often wondered myself about the devout. While on the surface unforgiving and (to use your excellent choice) tyrranical, there are times I have wondered about what's behind it.

    Many of them believe in all sincerity that you are going to be damned and that they are trying to save you from it. Whether or not you or I think it is bullshit does not affect their motivation.

    But maybe I've just to optimistic. The whole notion of original sin has never sat well with me. I believe our species got where it is primary because we are inherently cooperative and good. But again, maybe it's just that silly optimism of mine.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    or at least *seem* to believe...

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    It wasn't the particular Christianity sect dave, just the whole forcing religion down our throats. For example, the swarm of locusts that would excapsulate us if we committed blasphemy.

  • In reply to Crown:

    I thought he said a swarm of Lotus!

    I kept swearing but never saw that Exige in my driveway.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • In reply to gpldan:

    +1 gp

  • Jennings impressed, and while i thought about and wish i had mentioned mayer's uncharacteristically ballsy call out of jennings for impact player, he was on the money. wtg, tim!

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    ahem... daaaave... and who on the blog has been on his bandwagon since last year?

    (holds both thumbs up)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Okay, I'll give you that one MB. But I still got Earl (from about three years ago) and Alshon (from before draft day) that I'm keeping in my vest pocket :-)

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    look to your right Dave. right there wiff you on both

  • goodsonya doc... in all fairness crown, we are having discussions, not promoting or selling anything. Although if you want to buy some nigerian municipal bonds, I can indeed help you.

    I am enjoying watching the packers get their asses kicked right now btw.

    Hey doc, wtf happened with your tickets?!?! What are we going to do now maings?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'll buy that lone ticket in the same sec/row you're in and hope for the best. I just need to have them shipped to rabbit's brothers house in Chi because it says on stubhub that I can expect them by the very day we're flying out of SD. Hence, I'm waiting for said address. It'll be alright mang.

  • I'll be watching many a play from this one over again on dvr. Nice to see the pack losing as well.

  • In reply to ben in norcal:

    they are getting spanked

  • 10-0 San Francisco. So far, so good. Solid Bears win, without really trying very hard. A great Sunday so far.

  • can AikFuck go any deeper on sucking FuckDodgers dick????


  • In reply to lobotobear:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB..are you sure...because he's working hard....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    yeah, he is... that dude is so disgusting. Gross

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    EVERY announcer goes nuts over Rodgers, Brady, Brees, both Mannings, etc. it pisses me off to no end the way the announcers have a script to follow for every game. They stick to that script no matter what is going on during the game. Once in a while a color guy will point out the obvious if the script is full of shit but usually not. Just keep hyping the same guys whether their having a good game or not.

  • I imagine the Packers will score at least 30 points today. But I'm *not* watching the game.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Well, so that was seven already. Packers will beat the Niners today.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Gee... okay, so I'mll of likely full of shit, since it's nearly halftime and they only have 7

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    they're getting their asses kicked Dave... that's the game they're playing in SD today.

    It's awesome to watch.

    Of course, you can never turn off a game early on that clown rodgers. I hope this continues and they get stomped.

  • I get Hawks-Cards, yippee!!!

  • doc!?!?

  • That's what we get my I coughed up the the $9 a month to DISH for REDZONE.

  • Players today IMO:


  • In reply to SC Dave:

    You forgot Cutler.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Cutler was so amped up to start the game he was horrible. Once he calmed down, Yeah Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    He was a jag early. Freaking out at the crowd for being a little loud at the goal line. I chalked it up to Jay being so amped early. He would probably be one of the last bears i'd like to chill with.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    No, I omitted him intentionally

  • From my brief viewing, I gotta say that the replacement refs are working in the 49ers favor so far. And since I hate the Packers, it must really be bad.

  • In reply to SC Dave:


  • In reply to SC Dave:

    You mean besides that blatant block in the back on the return for a TD?

    They just don't know that they're supposed to be throwing flags for the Fudge.

    Must have missed that memo.

  • I couldn't believe that. They threw a flag on the return, and then after talking about it, I guess they decided it wasn't blatant enough.

    Either that, or some Green Bay fans promised free cheese & beer to the refs if they threw a call for the Peckers.

    Just casually watching the second half of that game, there were a ton of crappy calls, mostly favoring Green Bay.

    Made me grateful for the refs doing the Bears game today.

  • I am now curious after seeing that Akers kick. If you had a really tall guy to jump up and slap the ball away from the crossbar (i.e. at the end of the kick) would it be a legal block?

    I would think so, but I don't know.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I'm pretty sure that would be legal. Cobb is 5'10" so he should have had enough hops to hit it if his timing was right.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    It's not legal. Just like goal-tending in basketball, the field goal would count.

  • In reply to Ufficio:

    Leaping at/near the crossbar is illegal. It's either an illegal procedure or an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty--I forget which--and so the kicking team would, at the very least, get to kick from 5 yards closer.

    Stupid rule, if you ask me.

    In the NCAA, it's illegal to try to block a kick by leaping from the end zone. In the NFL, a kick can only be legally blocked "as it's coming off the kicker's foot" or something like that--meaning, near/before/at the line of scrimmage.

  • It's under the Unsportsmanlike Conduct heading (Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1):

    Goal-tending by a defensive player leaping up to deflect a kick as it passes above the crossbar of a
    goalpost is prohibited. The Referee could award three points for a palpably unfair act.

  • Great field goal by Akers, the bump and bounce. Go 9er's!

  • Don't know if you guys are watching the Fudgies but Finley stepped right over a 49er on the ground to cry to the ref. The guy on the ground stood up and flipped Finley on his ass. Then stepped on his ankle for good measure (although I'm pretty sure the ankle thing was unintentional).

  • Packers defense really does suck, doesn't it? We should put 50 up on those bitches!!

  • In reply to SC Dave:


  • 23 -7 9ers

  • oh yeah, and vernon davis is a fucking STUD!!!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Even if he can't spike a ball over the crossbar!

  • Yeah Niners!!!!!

  • It kills me to root for the forthy whiners but I'll make an exception today. OH YEAH!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:


  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Gawd, no shit. Almost like rooting for the Redskins. '86 and '87 still leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

  • Not the 98-3 I perdicted but close enough, offense look pretty shaky at first but dam we've got some recievers now bitches, so I go to the wife before halftime an say wait for the half time show ...she says really who's playing , and I go bear attack in the bedroom...


    And had me some HONEY

  • In reply to CRAZZYBEAR:


  • Major wishes he had Artoo's Ditka

    Erik wishes he had Doc's team.

  • let san fran and cheese goo gobblers beat the shit out of each others,

  • Wow what a horrible call giving GB a TD. Clearly a block in the back and they pick up the flag. Fucking Fudgies!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Did not see it, but there will be a lot of missed calls this season.

    The smart (e.g. Belicheat) will use it to their advantage.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    no kidding

  • another tid bit

    The Bears’ history in home-openers had been encouraging. Their 52 season-opening wins (52-35-5) tied them with Green Bay (52-36-3) for the most in the NFL. The Bears also entered with 63 home-opening wins (63-25-4) to top the league.

  • I didn't know finley use to be a soccer play because that was some dive ...acting thingy with the ankle,

  • These douches talking like there should have been a flag on smith's slide. Please.

  • here we go... game

  • GB just lost at home. fucking awesome

  • it's been a goooooood weekend. if only the lesbians would have lost

  • Wow... Rodgers sacked by the face mask and no call...

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    But the Fudgies lose. :-)

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    meh, it was for a split second and was incidental

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    There is no such thing as an incidental face mask in today's NFL.

    I can only imagine all the vehement posts on this blog had the exact same thing happened to Cutler today.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjvXxwvg8mc


  • the refs just gave the seahawks a free time out that they didn't have... and they're on the az 5 with 30 seconds left. WOW

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    will it be enough to make the owners throw out some nickles the regular refs?


  • Unlikely.

  • My MVP was the o-line as a collective unit.

    And, this just in: Kellen Davis still can't block. Im making Adams for starter pins.

  • Huh....

    ...no packer trolls. wonder why? Pretty quiet around here.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Good point. Someone here needs to volunteer to be the Designated Packer Troll...

  • Anyone betting how long Manning lasts tonite? It's gonna happen, odds are too good that the neck goes. Just hope it doesn't cripple him.

  • In reply to MaddBearfan:

    I think he may get a few game in... and that animal harrison is out tonight, so that'll help.

    God it's fucking awesome football's back.

  • fb_avatar


  • Where are the Packer trolls? Frozen??

  • And the most impressive player league-wide for me was RGIII. That kid is extremely smart on and off the field. Extremely eloquent speaker. I bet you that kid could pass the IL bar.

  • In reply to Crown:

    He's definitely smarter than the TOTUS. (Tele-promter of the US).

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    And its teleprompter with a p.

    Jesus H Christ. Obama shits corn kernels smarter that you.

    Shit, the workers at Weiner Circle would run circles around you.

  • In reply to Crown:

    Gotta call a penalty on The Crown. You correct the teleprompter with a P and then spell Wiener wrong. 5 yards for illegal procedure!!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Fair enough, Murph. Fair enough.

  • You don't like him just because he's black. It's amazing how middle class (if you're even in that tax bracket) country bumpkins like yourself think you'll get a better deal with Romney. You must be getting up there in age Fifth. Good luck with taking your 8k voucher to the free market after your hypertension from eating too much deer and sausage gets exacerbated. Oh yeah, and Govt Mule sucks dick. Free Bird!!

  • In reply to Crown:

    ??? I watched the game today with some "black dudes". You are dumber than a box of rocks. Were you "moved" by all the speeches at the Democratic National Convention about the "War on Women"? We all know your opinion of women. They are there to suck your dick and be cum dumpsters. I don't recall any other posts that would prove me wrong. I've never read a post where you talked positively about a person of the other sex. It sounds like you have a major problem. If you were not so stupid, and actually read the blog in the recent past, you would know I would never vote for Romney. I wish I was having a conversation with you in person right now. I might be able to set you right.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    You're writing is grade school level at best and is painful to read. I would house you. Why did you put black dudes is quotes? Just because I've had women who please me sexually doesn't mean I view them as cum dumpsters. I've never used that derogatory term in my life. The Bears won. Why couldn't you just enjoy the day without getting divisive?

  • In reply to Crown:

    And if you don't think the Republicans are reverting back to 1950s like social policy regarding women's rights you're an idiot.

  • In reply to Crown:

    Cum dumpster was over the line. All your posts about women involve suck and swallow or suck and spit. Sorry I "disrespected" you. Only really cool dudes post stuff like that on blog sites to show how cool they are. I used to be really impressed by statements like that 22 years ago, when I was 18. You must be really cool.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Now you're in Promise Keepers, right?

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Where are you getting this swallow and spit talk from? You seem to be focused on the mouth and vagina as a container. I've never said anything like that. To each his own. Bears win. Bears win.

  • In reply to Crown:

    Why did you put black dudes is quotes? What does that mean? I think you need a remedial course in English composition.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Were the "black dudes" at the same depressing, chintzy bar you watched the game at? That doesn't count.

  • In reply to Crown:

    Strangely, this was the sign over the bar. In Joliet.


  • In reply to TheFifth:

    I wish you would stop insulting my little friend. He's really not that dumb.


  • In reply to Crown:

    "You don't like him just because he's black." ????

    Shame on you, Crown.

    Thought better of you.

    Typical Democrat respone to those who disagree. Call them a Racist or, like the chair of the California Democrat party recently, call them a Nazi.

    That is soooo weak.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    ...response to...

    Guess i better correct my typos.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    The GOP doesn't hate Obama because he's Black. After all, they had Condi Rice and Colin Powell, right?

    TheFifth doesn't hate Obama because he's Black. He hates him because Fifth makes over $3M a year, and doesn't want to see the changes to the tax code take place.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Good one Gp. I'm an equal opportunity hater. I'm one of those nut jobs that has been active in the Libertarian Party since 1998. I don't like Romney or Obama. The two people I was most afraid to be President were Gore and McCain. Both of those charlatans would have got us into unnecessary wars. I don't see a lot of difference between Romney and Obama. It will be an extension of the status quo.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Libertarians are too pussy to admit they are Republicans or at least want to pretend they are different.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    I don't remember you saying anything near moderate on this blog. You're always hating far from the right. But seriously fifth, what asset shell company do you use to manage your ice fishing winnings in loophole-ridden Bermuda?

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    If you don't think Obama's race plays a huge role in how people view him then you're not looking hard enough Al. In many cases, it's not about his policy at all.

    Not too long ago, the Washington Post polled almost half of the Tea Party and other like minded groups right wing groups (over 650 groups). 11% ADMITTED that Obama's race, religion or ethnic background was either a very imporatnt or somewhat important factor. They willingly conceded this. Yes, the Tea Party are considered very right, but the republicans have become so extreme that the majority of their views allign with such groups. Maybe you don't want to admit it, but his race fueling anger and activism on the right. Objective polls of racial attitude prove this is fact.

  • In reply to Crown:

    Not to get in between you guys because I enjoy both of your posts but that's one reason why I hate talking politics on the blog. Especially on a game day when everyone is amped up and possibly popped up. None of us will change anyone else's mind on politics. We believe what we believe. I read stuff on here that makes my blood boil but so what. We're all part of the Bears Brotherhood and that trumps all this other shit. FWIW, Fifth and I correspond away from the blog about music and he's sent some CD's my way. Crown and I have had numerous laughs and posts about music. Forget all this other stuff and remember what's important. WE FUCKING WON TODAY AND THE FUDGIES LOST! FUCKING A!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • In reply to Crown:

    I agree completely with your point that there are certain percentages of people in both major parties that base part of their voting decisions on race.

    some choose unions as their sticking point
    some social issues
    some economic policy
    some foreign policy

    As a fairly educated guy I'd be fucking tickled pink to poll random chicago citizens on their views to find out why they are voting for a particular candidate. I think if it were to be filmed it could possibly be made into the funniest, saddest, scariest most entertaining movie of all time.

  • In reply to Crown:

    None of that changes the fact that, albeit in a left-handed way, you called him a Racist. Incredibly weak.

    I'm no tea party guy. I do not believe you can govern this nation from EITHER extreme. But the rhetoric spewed by the likes of Nancy Pelosi and ignorant celebs such as Babs "Republicans are Evil" Streisand is EVERY BIT as DIVISIVE and HATEFUL as the garabage spewed by the far right.

    As for those "Objective polls..." you cite, you'll find one of those right beside the next UNICORN you come across.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Absolutely right, Al.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Don't forget about "hatred", Al, the lowest of all their "arguments".

    In far greater percentages that I ever remember, supporters of the current President are convinced that it is impossible to disagree with him for any reason other than hatred.

  • Law Review at Harvard law. Do you know what law review is?

  • My thoughts about the game.

    Take Jay's starting 1-for-10 streak away, and he ends up 20-for-25 on the game. Marshall had a couple drops he shouldn't have, and Earl even had one he should've come down with... but come to think of it, a couple of those drops might've been during the 1-for-10 streak. Anyway, that 20/25, even against the Colts minus Freeney, is damned impressive, especially in Game 1.

    This is a good start. Yes, the Colts defense is weak, but great googily-moogily, the Bears put up 41 points despite the QB having an awful 1st quarter. The offense is going to get better. Think on that for a minute. What we saw today is not an aberration; it's the new normal.

    Confidence breeds confidence. Right now, everyone on the offense is feeling good. Marshall get yards and a TD. How many different guys did Jay throw to? Jefferey--the Red Zone jump-ball threat, not the deep threat--caught a 42-yard TD (which was more like a 60-yard frozen rope). ERod made some blocks.

    So, offensively, this is just the start of something good.

    Now, defense. Peanut got nicked, and hopefully he's back soon, but Hayden did very well backing him up. #54 didn't look sharp, but I'm chalking it up to him not wanting to overdo it in his first game back.

    What worried me most about the defense--other than inconsistent line play and over-pursuit--was that without a full-speed #54, there is a gaping hole in the Tampa-2, and Luck was completing pass after pass there. Rodgers will be even better at exploiting that.

    So, I'm hoping that LDL gets out of the Tampa-2 more.

  • Hayden is a solid corner.

    Peanut is having issues. He looked run down and slow against the Giants. I think years of battles have taken their toll.

  • Oh, and fuck Philadelphia. Not that I like those overrated underachievers, but for fuck's sake, when I pick you to beat Cleveland by 9, don't suck it up the entire game and lull me into thinking that despite losing my pick, at least I'll have Philly schadenfraude... and then fucking pull out the fucking win.

    And dammit, St. Louis... couldn't you beat those damned Lions? So close.

  • I feel you bro. I went with a big Chicago/Philly double, predicting two rook QBs to have issues. Didn't predict Vick having a 4 INT meltdown though. Could have easily taken Houston. Thought STL and SF were great value too. Might be best to go with teams who get a head start

  • Oh, and one last thing.

    It happened twice today, and I'd like to never see it happen again. On punts, when the punting team touches the ball--like on the first punt, when the gunner batted the ball out of the endzone--a Bear on the return team needs to go grab the ball and try to return it. Because even if the return goes to hell and the returner fumbles the ball away, shits his pants, whatever, because the punting team touched the ball first (a so-called "illegal touch" if the return team actually attempts a fucking return), the worst thing that can happen is that the Bears get possession at the spot of the touch.

    When it comes to punt/returns, the return team always gets the best possible spot, which is why when a guy from the punt coverage team touches the ball at the 1 and the ball rolls back to the 3, the return team gets the ball at the 3 instead of the 1.

    So if I'm Devin Hester, I wait for the cover team to touch the ball, then I go grab it and take off running. Worst case scenario, you get the ball back where the cover team touched it. Best case scenario, 6 points.

  • +1

    Didn't see much opportunity on the first one, but that second on, for sure, needed to be scooped up.

  • Only when you're sure you can pick up the ball safely without getting clobbered and injured.

    Also I'm not sure there is a "spot" on a touch like the 2nd punt... where he jumped from the field of play to touch it over the endzone. In that case, it may not be safe to risk picking up the ball. I'm unclear on the exact rules governing that case.

    But I agree with you completely in general. As long as it's not an injury risk to pick up a loose ball after an illegal touch (and you are also 100% sure a touch actually happened), you absolutely should go for it. However I am certain Toub coaches up his ST and especially his returners to do that -- I know I've seen it on at least one occasion.

  • Man, when Cutty has a clean pocket he's as good as anybody.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    There were several times that the pocket broke down, and Cutler's lateral movement was as good as anybody in the NFL's. That was good to see.

    When it all goes to hell is when he starts backpedalling and firing off that back foot. In fairness to him, most QBs in the NFL can't do that, and he made impressive throws out of nothing doing that. But it's also when the ball sails.

    He hung Marshall out to dry on a couple passes. He's gotta keep that ball down.

  • *Ahem* Sal Palantonio can go fuck himself now. That is all.

  • In reply to Shady:


  • In reply to Shady:

    Well put, but he's a Philly boy, Shady. The correct term is

    "Go Phuck Himself".

  • 50 Years and I have NEVER seen a Bears' offense with this much firepower.

    Watching 1965 with Rookie Sayers, Johnny Morris, Ditka and Rudy Bukich leading the league in passing was fun but
    wow, Forte & Bush, Marshall & Jeffrey, Hester returning and Cutler throwing darts trumps that '65 team easily

    Stay healthy, boys.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Every time I read Rudy's name it just isn't the same if it isn't precede by Rifle Armed. Gotta agree with your post. When Jay steps into a throw, it's definitely a thing of beauty.

  • So, who do you guys have winning tomorrow?

    Gems or Dragons?

    Oh, and I think we'll have a new Kellen in town if 87 doesn't get his shit in order on Thursday... One block, which was more cool looking than actually impactful, and countless whiffs won't cut it.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Gotta go with Gems.

  • Pretty cool that Butthead's kid is the Steelers punter.

  • holy shit, Marshall is on channell 5 all dressed up with some news guys like Lawrence Holmes, Mike Adamle and Dan Hampton and he is fucking gigantic. i think we all hear 6'4 230 and think that it sounds pretty big. He makes Dan Hampton look small next to him. he is that big.

  • As expected.

    Tice got the line together ... we can run it or throw it at will.

    Lovie loves his deep safety cover two no matter what.

    We can beat the Packers cos they ain't all that.

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