The Most Telling Moment of Sunday's Opener

The Most Telling Moment of Sunday's Opener

It was the strangest of moments.

The goalline was pure steel and Jay Cutler seemed to have magnets in his ass pockets for the first half of the first quarter. The first drive was unique. Kellen Davis whiffed on a Robert Mathis block and Cutty was sent hard to the turf by the ageless pass rusher. Roberto Garza followed the sack by ten-pinning a snap and it was over before it started.

Cutler wasn't having that on the second drive. With one swing of his mighty arm he complete - to Jerrell Freeman - one of the worst interceptions of his Bears career. 7-0. Colts.

Josie Woods went silent. My palms went sweaty. The half-pint of Coors Lights went down my throat. Then I had the most amazing of thoughts. It was one of those thoughts I never thought I'd have in my Bears fan life. I thought, "We're going to beat this team by 30."

And I believed it. Without ever seeing this new-look offense complete a pass I was fully convinced the franchise quarterback and Phil Emery-constructed receiving corps would score. A lot. I started remembering the 2005 season - a time when a seven-point hole was insurmountable. I started remembering the mid-90s under Dave Wannstedt - a time when a one-point hole was reason enough to turn off the television or head for the exits.

And I smiled. Because the Bears can score points now. A lot of them. At will. This might not be a revelation on par with some of Einstein's better work but damn it if I didn't think it a miraculous moment.

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  • Who cares - IT'S PACKER WEEK!

    Rodgers. Fucking Dead.

    On the first play.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Okay, I didn't even read it prior to that post.

    Got excited.

    Jefe - Coors Lights? What happened to the Banquet?

    During my ingestion of Harp (which still isn't as good as I remembered) I got the shivers... the kool-aid diabetic coma shivers.

    The kind of worry that sends a guy off a balcony. Thankfully, I was in the basement.

    I worried that all the hype surrounding our team was just that. That all my irrational confidence in JC was just that. That we still had a gun-slinger who is prone to bad decisions. That I would have to call my Dad at halftime and make gallons of excuses (a la Derrick Rose) in favor of my unwavering love for another one of Chicago's fallible superstars.

    Thankfully, I didn't have to.

    I wish I had your faith. That pass made me spill my kool-aid.

    I made another batch.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Always light beer on Sundays. Marathon.

  • In reply to Jeff Hughes:

    Well, kudos sir.

    I thought I was the only one to admit to being a Coors Light fan.

    Of all piss beers, I find it the least offensive. When downing batches in my earlier days in blackout-induced beer pong blowouts, I always found the bullet to be quite drinkable in it's warm and flat, 30 minutes of open-air "breathing" state.

    Much more so than Bud or Miller's "light" variations, that is.

    Turns out it's even better cold... and chased with some hamburger helper.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    100% boys. When drinking shit... american shit... it's always the bullet.

    Mexican shit can be a multitude of shitty choices. But XX is the best option of course.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Dos Equisetum, lager for me, is a purty good choice... In fact, I prefer all Mexican shit over it's American counterpart... Except maybe Sol.

    When in Mexico, Tecate all damn day.. Todo la pinche dia, huey.

    Anyone remember Tequiza? They still sell that crap?

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Life's too short to drink piss.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    lol on the basement thing Willie. Damn funny, my man.

    I thought about that play before the first replay, and had he done a little pump fake and then lofted in about 8 yards ahead of Forte, he could have run under it and gone for 95 yards and a TD. I think they need to put it in the playbook

    Of course, I have no idea where the Colts safeties were, but you might remember than Bob Sanders did not help them much on that only play.

  • 2nd and short......

    to say" FU" Fudgepecker's!!!!!

  • From previous thread...

    Is the concrete behind the end zone slippery? Jeffery and his defender both almost fell on their ass after that play.
    I know it is nit-picky, but they might consider some carpet or astroturf there. How pissed would we have been if Alshon sprained an ankle or knee after that catch?

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    or broke his tailbone. Can't cast that.

    My pal went snowboarding once. He was almost a pro in skateboarding, so he thought, "how different can snowboarding be?"

    Well, he found out. Trying to do some Tony Hawk maneuver, he fell an broke his ass - or at least his tailbone.

    What was funny (I wasn't there - wish I was) is that he said that he drove up there, so he had to drive down the mountain with his add mid-air since he couldn't sit on it.

    Got to the doctors and I think they gave him one of those hemerroid butt pads to sit on till it healed cuz medical science hasn't designed an ass cast yet.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Cleats on concrete at speed. Might as well be on ice.

  • I was more worried that the Colts felt "disrespected." It's cliche, but it happens.

    Imagine if you were on a 1 win team and everyone on the media just assumed you were going to lose 8 months in advanced.

    And Urlacher let it out that they already have their game plan set - FOR THE PACKERS, like two weeks ago.

    I was a little concerned about the dreaded "trap" game, which would be a first for an opener, but that Thurday Night game is just so omnipresent. Add to the mix the x-factor that we had little idea how a Tice O would look, or how impressive it would be.

    Stranger things can happen. The Chiefs beat an undefeated juggernaut last year with a just signed QB. The hapless Rams and Browns nearly upset some superbowl favorites in the Eagles and the Lions.

    This is the NFL. Shit happens.

    I'm sort of happy they did start of flaccid yesterday because they showed true grit in overcoming the nightmare start.

    To me, that reveals veteran leadership and confirms the motto of Da T-shirt.

    "On a mission from god."

    Now on to make the Pack 0-2 and avenge our honor.

  • There ARE no EASY weeks. Ask the Eagles or the Saints.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Ask the Lions, too.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Exactly. There are no gimmes in the NFL.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Words to live by from golfing legend,
    Slammin' Sammy Snead:

    1) Watch your nickels and dimes.

    2) Avoid whiskey.

    3) NEVER concede a putt.

  • So, in the end... did we stay vanilla?

    What was the blitz rate? Did we run any screens?

    Sure, we did our Hester end around... but where was the flea flicker? Where was Forte throwing it 25 yds? Where was the 46?

    Thursday - fake end around to Hester, toss to Forte, Forte to Marshall touchdown. Next play, blitz Jennings and Rodgers fucking dead.

    Bang bang.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    My father was laughing his ass off during that play. I kept yelling at the screen "Throw it Devin! THROW IT!!". Haha Willie, I wouldda shat myself if they did some crazy play like that.

  • I am very excited it is Green Bay Packers week! Though I am worried that the Packers will rebound in a strong fashion from the crushing defeat they took at the hands of the well rounded San Francisco Fortyniners and the resurrected legend Randy Moss #84! What a comeback for the old timer!

    Surely we will need to play much more tight defense at the historic Lambeau Field than we did against the weakling Indianapolis Colts yesterday. I think that RB Cedric Benson will play better this week and the mighty Brian Urlacher #54 will need to play more than just 1 half.

    I am so excited!! I wish the game was on Wednesday!

  • In reply to BlitzKrieg:

    Fuck the Packers.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Yeah. And fuck the Lions too. Talk about an overrated team. Our offense matches up with the Packers and its better than the Lions. The defense is better than both. Just gotta keep shit together on game day. And you know what else? I hope the games are close. Every tome Lovie gets a comfortable lead he goes to that shell of a defense and lets them back in. I can't take much more of that. Especially against a real NFL offense. At least if its close, I won't be waiting for that soft bellied, saggy ass D to show up.

  • In reply to BlitzKrieg:

    If it writes like a Wisconsiner (4th grade level, uses words that he looked up in Webster's incessantly, like mysogynist), if it has the social skills of a Wisconsiner (can't even make friends over the Internet), it probably is a Wisconsiner.

    Fuck the Holiday Inn
    Blitz is working hard, playin hard at the Four Seasons
    He bates with a hand puppet, his moms looks like Jimmy Buffet
    Nothing else to do but troll real hard, on the finest of the all, da Bears Blog
    While I flog his mom, his dad watches gay porn
    While Blitz is at the shareholder meeting repping his 5 dollar stake, I'm banging his sister making his trailer shiggidy shake
    We're 2 and 0, you're going 0 and 2
    I'm gonna do the Raji dance on Roger's jersey while I take a poo
    Bang Bang bitches. Bang Bang. Bang Bang bitches. Bang Bang

  • In reply to Crown:


  • In reply to Crown:

    You are at the Holiday Inn with Mike Brown Posse reading Harvard law review and bagel dogging it you trac troll hand puppet. You talk about going to Harvard and then you write like a product of the Chicago Public School system.

  • In reply to BlitzKrieg:

    Went back and forth on whether you were trac or a packer troll. You have revealed yourself as trac. I'll no longer repond to you as you're getting even more dark than you were before and it feels like you're transforming into the next batman killer.

  • In reply to Crown:

    Haha... coming from the creepiest troll on the internet, I take that as a compliment. I have been reading your posts and I think you are a Dahmer like serial killer.

  • In reply to BlitzKrieg:

    Staying true to your character, it really should have been "Randall Moss".

    This schtick jumped the shark at inception.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    so fucking painful. so brutal.

  • Yes, if the O-Line, TEs and RBs can block the Bears offense can put up ponts. We know that.

    Can they block consistantly for 16 games? That remains to be seen.

  • How about this for a telling statistic:

    Last season - 8 Drives of 80+ yards.

    Yesterday - 3 Drives of 80+ yards.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    I was telling my kids about that during the game. There was a 95 yard drive, and I think I've maybe seen a dozen of those from the Bears in my life.

    Now, I'm almost hoping for coffin corners once or twice a game by the other guys so that our guys can do some stat-whoring. Gracious, who WOULD have thunk it from a geezer Bears fan!

    Better pass me a glass of water... my Kool-aid blood level is getting too high.

  • Well boys and girls..gonna take the same attitude I've taken the last 3 yrs...WAS...Wait and see....I will admit I liked what I saw Sunday...buuuut...lets see how they do about week 9 or 10. Then I can get giddy if they're still hanging in there.

  • In reply to MaddBearfan:

    you do seminars with tony robbins on the side don't you madd?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Lets see: "Rex is our Quarterback"...Caleb Hainey can play..."The Mike Martz System" Roy Williams...Sam "The Druglord" Hurd, Cutler spends more time on his back that a $25 hooker!
    Are we improved? Yes...but I'll wait and see Thank You

  • In reply to MaddBearfan:

    I know comparing this year's team to last years is apples to oranges but i remember how giddy I got after we trounced Atlanta in the 2011 season opener. There was a bit of wandering in the desert the next several games so I'll savor yesterday's win but will try to curb my enthusiasm for a while yet....

  • Game balls:

    1) Tim Jennings. Man, he plays bigger than 5'8. May be a bit harder for him on thursday, but he seems to have really put it together since he sucked it up in Oakland.

    2) Brandon Marshall. Yes, Jay got locked onto him early, but seeing him out there was a wonder. The catch he got down the sideline where he knew the safety was coming and slid as he caught the ball was amazing. Knox would have pissed himself.

    3) Vontae Davis. Colts better hope he picks it up cause he got abused all game long by Marshall and co. The deep bomb to AJ summed it up. Kudos to Jay as well for bombing it in there.

    Shout outs to Melton, Hayden, Jay Christopher, David Akers (what a kick!) and Jim Harbaugh.

    Oh and Jeff, you think Flacco can throw it harder than Jay?

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    on #3: apparently Davis said that he was going to try to get into Marshall's head; that he knew ways to knock Marshall off his game.

    Either he talks a lot of shit, or Marshall's more comfortable in his head than he was in Miami, and didn't care what Davis was saying/doing.

  • He should maybe use his own before he opens his mouth in future. He should be fine in that division (other than HOU), and by the end of the season he should well improve, but first impressions are difficult to shake for some fans and he may have lost a lot of support after being burned so frequently on Sunday.

    Marshall also knows what kind of guy Davis is (throwing the ball at his drunken ass yadda yadda yadda) and it's highly doubtful the CB would bother Marshall in anyway, heck even Revis didn't bother that much.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Ben Rapetheburger maybe? They were talking about someone who'd worked with Elway and he said Cutty's was stronger.

    Looking at Peyton Manning, he's got maybe the SLOWEST arm .. certainly now. His balls take all day to get to their destination. Infer from that what you will.

  • I guess we should infer that his vision and accuracy are second to none - if his arm is that bad, he must be throwing the ball in the right place very often to have completed all those passes in his career.

  • Great stat Al.

    The Bears offense will exploit the GB secondary, especially cornerback Jarrett Bush. The guy flat out sucks. Cutler should test him early and often until he proves he can cover anybody.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Have to credit Jeff Joniak for the stat, Fifth. Stole it from him listening to the Bear broadcast today.

  • You know the o-line did a great job when there isn't one comment the day after a game to the contary.

  • god I love Anquan Boldin. Fuck can you imagine that dude on our team too?

    Holy shit.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Tough S.O.B. Would certainly have helped to man Knox the fuck up.

  • In honor of our pet troll I served bagel dogs as one of the appetizers at my game party.

  • From an article on ESPN: Cutler on how many times he audibled against the Colts: "A lot. We got out of a lot of stuff. Little things as far as changing routes, protections, changing a run from side to side. We did stuff a lot, 50-60 percent of the time.

    "That's what it's all about. It's hard for an offensive coordinator to dial up each and every play, and it's going to be a perfect defense. It's hard to do. It's almost impossible to do. Every once in awhile he's going to dial one up. He dialed up the touchdown pass to Alshon (Jeffery). That was straight up his call. Great call, perfect call. We got the perfect coverage, and it worked. Most of the time there has to be some little adjustments by players, and that's what we get paid to do."

    What a difference from last year where they were stuck with what Martz called. I like the statement at the end "that's what we get paid to do".

  • Let me preface this comment by saying that I think John Harbaugh can REALLY coach. Brother Jim, too.

    But I also think John was being a complete BUTT-WIPE when, while up 41-13 in the 4th quarter, he called TIME OUT just to very publicly BERATE, DEMEAN and try to INTIMIDATE a substitute referee who HAD , in fact, MADE THE RIGHT CALL!

    Screw you, Harbaugh. Ladarius Webb lowered his head and SPEARED Andy Dalton with his helmet. In the back, to boot! talk about a COWARDLY act.

    That's a flag, Johnny.
    At ANY TIME.

    BTW, if you're so freakin' smart, how come you were still having Flacco in the game and trying to throw the ball so he could get absolutely PANCAKED! Would have served you right if the sacking Bengal had decided a nice cold plate of REVENGE was in order and drilled your Joey boy right in the mush with HIS headgear. Tough to call plays with a shattered jaw.

    Your sideline performance was an EMBARASSMENT to yourself , the Ravens and to the NFL. Congratulations on THAT "Hat Trick".

    If I'M that replacement ref, I tell Mr. Harbaugh the following:
    "Look, Johnny, that was the PROPER call. What's IMPROPER is you calling timeout to give me grief about it on National TV . So, in addition to this 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct I am about to happily march off, you are hearby EXCUSED from the sideline for the balance of the evening and if you are not headed for the locker room by time the ball is marked ready for play again it will coast you ANOTHER 15 so get moving. Oh, and feel free to call the league office demand my job this week beacuse, hey, we BOTH know that as soon as the regular Zebras settle I'm back to teaching shop and health classes in Minot, North Dakota so I could really give a rat's ass whether they approve of my actions or not.

    On the other hand,I will now ALWAYS be known as the Zebra who ran your sorry ass off the sideline on Monday night Football on opening weekend of 2012 and for that I cannot thank you enough.

    So hit the bricks, hothead.

    Oh, and have a nice evening, you turd."

    And if I'm Roger Goodell, I call Harbaugh on the carpet, ream his ass and fine him about $10K for "Conduct Detrimental to the League (and pissing me off)". ESPECIALLY in the wake of my BOUNTYGATE suspensions being tossed on appeal.

    Other than that, I have no opinion on this matter

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Come on Al, we're all big boys here. Tell us how you really feel.

    Seriously, I couldn't agree with you more....

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    I'm not sure which I enjoy more, your Burma Shaves or your rants.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Other than that, indeed.

  • Bears are now 6pt underdogs with the o/u at 51. I wonder when the last time the Bears were in a game with the over/under that high? I guess Vegas is expecting a shootout....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    "UNDERDOG is ALWAYS a good position to play from." - Shoeshine Boy.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Just watch out for Simon Bar Sinister.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Bet of the week, closely followed by Baltimore over whatever the hell the Eagles are getting.

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