Preseason Opener Game Preview: Bears v. Broncos

Preseason Opener Game Preview: Bears v. Broncos

Note: That little fella to the far left of the image above is the one and only Mr. Caleb Hanie.

The first preseason game has less meaning than the first training camp practice. Substantially less, if that's possible. There are two teams. Neither has game-planned for the other. Both have practiced for barely a week. And every starter worth their salt is terrified by one thing: turning the wrong way on the left knee and watching their season end before it has begun. (At least in the first training camp practice of the starters don't spend 7/8 of the session chatting with sideline reporters.)

But are there things worth paying attention to? Sure. Since most of us are going to watch the game, we might as well pay attention.

  • Health. Here is my list of players I'd prefer see the field for (at most) 3 plays: Cutler, Marshall, Forte, Hester, Peppers, Melton, Briggs, Tillman, Payton, Butkus, Sayers, Kramer, George, Hampton...etc. I could seriously keep going. Nothing good can come from the first preseason game.
  • Caleb Hanie. I know he's no longer on the Bears but it'll be interesting to see how Hanie bounces back from one of the worst performances in the history of the NFL (and arguably the world). Knowing Hanie's track record, I expect him to perform terrifically and give Broncos fans a terribly false sense of security should Peyton Manning see extended time on the bench.
  • Defensive Line Rotation. There is "buzz" - that most meaningless of noises to emanate from Bourbonnais this time of year - around a pair of defensive linemen: Stephen Paea & Corey Wootton. Julius Peppers is the rock. Israel Idonije and Henry Melton will be productive. Shea McClellin will develop over time. If Paea and Wootton turn the corner at DL, the Bears could have a ferocious attack up front.
  • Offensive Line. This will be probably be the starting unit that sees the most field time throughout the preseason but we'll learn very little tomorrow night. That being said all fan eyes will be fixed squarely on big ol' J'Marcus Webb on the blindside. Some to watch his development. Some hoping he'll fail and be unceremoniously cut by halftime.
  • Dane Sanzenbacher. The Bears don't exactly have 75 receivers in their camp currently so it's conceivable Sanzenbacher could be catching passes in the second half of this game. As we (I) predicted here MONTHS AGO Sanzenbacher is one of the major stories of camp and I bet there will be a decent number of folks watching late into this one to monitor his progress. No Bear will play harder during these four preseason games.
  • Depth Chart. One of my favorite things about training camp is the first preseason depth chart posted by the Chicago Bears on their website. It is very silly. But here are a few names worth focusing a bit of attention on tomorrow night and throughout the preseason: OT James Brown, DTs John McCargo, Brian Price & Nate Collins, RB Armando Allen.
  • Rookies. Ultimately they are camp/preseason's most important tale and the Bears top four will be fascinating to watch throughout the preseason. If Shea McClellin is playing against opposing 2s and 3s, we'll want to see production. How will Alshon Jeffery get off the line of scrimmage against NFL corners? Can Brandon Hardin stay healthy and challenge for field time at safety? Will Evan Rodriguez ultimately be part of the offense's base package as a hybrid H-back/tight end? We won't know tomorrow night but we may know by Wednesday September 5th.

We end with a blog open debate. If your eyes were not going to leave one Chicago Bear tomorrow night, whom would it be? Meaning: who are you most interested in watching against the Denver Broncos?

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  • Carimi. He gotta hold his own at RT this season. That wil mean help possibilities for Webb.

  • In reply to BXLBearsFan:

    I saw every game but one last season and I never took my eyes off J'Marcus Webb. Every snap that looked like it should be a pass meant your eyes being drawn to that left side to see how quickly it collapsed. I'm watching the tackles.

    Summers and Jeffery have been making some catches while Brandon was Mr. Dropsies recently - so looking forward to seeing Jason's arm hook up with those boys.

  • Kudos on the Payton, Sayers,Butkus mention. I don't have one player that I'm focusing on, more of a small group. TE Davis(think he's going to have a PRO BOWL break out season), OL James Brown(might, just MIGHT be our future at LT. HAHAHA funny typing that, but theres something about this kid) Safety Hardin ( I said when they drafted him he reminds me a bit of a young Polamalu...SHUT UP! stop laughing), Carimi(dude needs to stay healthy) and finally MIKE FUCKIN TICE and his change to OC. Gotta be better than Martz, right? Please dont kill my QB,RB,or savior at WR. Thats all. Have a nice day. Please come again.

  • McClellin. I want to get an idea if he could possibly be a Jared Allen or an Abe Vigoda: Popular for a while, disappear and be amazed he's still alive.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Off to a quick start, like Vinnie the Microwave.

    +23 DBB points for name dropping Fish.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • In reply to Grizz33:

    McClellin here too. I just want to see how much learning he has in front of him...just hoping he's not dominated the whole time he's out there.

  • Webb.
    Clearly, LT is the biggest question mark on the roster. If he stinks it up, what next?
    If he stonewalls while he's in, does anyone stop complaining about him? That was a trick question btw.

  • fb_avatar

    4th! Go BEARS. Looking forward to seeing the backups.

  • Paea. Cover 2 has to have pressure from the D-Line (more importantly DTs), so I'm looking for him to turn the corner on this. he needs to come out mid-way through the 3rd.

  • Unfortunately, Nick Roach.

    He'll get big minutes in the middle, and I am sad to say we might need to take a long look and see if he can play the whole season there or if he's just clearly overmatched and makes quick room for the Dom-inator.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I actually hope the Dom-inator can be a good linebacker for us someday. I just hope it's not too soon, if you catch my drift. I don't think Roach would be the long term answer there...much more suited for the outside. I'm also looking forward to see what Jeffery does...we're about due to develop a rookie WR around here, for God's sake.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Is that possible with Daryl Drake? I've never seen it, quite the opposite. Was Moose's comment about Chicago being where receivers go to die directed at QBs or the receiving coach?

  • Irish, the Dominator is a LB. Try to keep up!

  • Makes you wonder. If Drake can't coach up Jeffery he needs to go. But, of course, as long as Lovie is here, it won't happen.

  • Here's your 2035 starting Bears QB:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Jeezus, nice pants, Jay. Where's you satchel? Anyway, little Camden will be the 2035 starting QB or he'll star in a reality TV show. Let's hope he gets Daddy's genes.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Why is there so much hate for Cutty's slick fashion sense. I'm glad he doesnt wear big black framed glasses with no lenses in them, snug dress shirts and bow ties. Dude rocks some classic looks, a lot of New England inspired stuff and he pulls it off. As a guy who wears a suit and tie every day I salute him.

  • Good point, Sac. I wear a suit and tie everyday myself but I'm glad to rip that shit off after work and slap on some shorts and a black t-shirt. Good thing I'm married, I wouldn't have a chance in hell.

  • Uhhhhhggg... the monkey suit. Would never be able to do it. No way, no how... especially in sacto. What's it 115 up there right now? Fuck that.

    With you on the fashion. Dude looks smooooove! If I had multi-millions I'd look like james fucking bond every day.

    alas, I don't and... I don't.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Wish he would have named his kid "Canton".

    Would've been a lot cooler if he did.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Congrats Jay Christopher. I know it's not allowed to call your son Jesus ... but surely some exception could be made ?

  • I"ll have my eye on Shea/Wootton, Hardin and any DT that makes plays. With Urlacher entering the season far far less than 100% we will need our DL and DE to step up and create pressure and fear boners.

    DOM FUCKING DICICCO?????? We're the fucking Bears and we're talking about DOM FUCKING DICICCO?

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Di-Chico.... the name is di-chico.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I have my urine filled squirt gun at the ready....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    mine has been marinating in the sun for a couple of days like sun tea and is now super ripe and ready to be shot into the mouths of those that would utter the name DA CHEEKO.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm... sun pee!

  • I'll be focused on the following:

    Pool Jumper
    Brandon "the training camp highlight film" Rideau
    Dan Le'Fevour
    Zachary "The Future" Bouman

    During the game, I'd say:

    Pez Dispenser

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Oops.. Pringles made it twice... I guess it's only right.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    It's funny you mention Afalava, I think he just took my order at Taco Bell.

  • In reply to Grizz33:


    Get a load of this guy. Comes into the gym and starts raining three pointers down...

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    And to think I almost bought a customer Volcano shirt from Da Bears store a few years ago.

    That guy really sucked in coverage, didn't he...

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    What safety that's been drafted by Lovie hasn't sucked in coverage? The Birdman has been okay, but the rest have all been supposed "heavy hitters" Shit, Major Wright's best hit so far has been on Urlacher.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Well, you answered your own question there...and not just draftees, but the free agent acquisitions too.
    Harris had some moments after he was brought back. But they were far and few between.

  • Anyone buying the Preseason pass for $20?

    I've done it for the last 2 years (I think 2, maybe just 1) - and it's been okay. Maybe not worth it @ the $30 price point, but... shit... it's tough to avoid.

    I say I won't do it this year, but I know when it comes down to watching the game @ 7:30pm, or waiting until 12am... I might just have to buckle.

    It's either that or watch the Smegma play the bitch-faced Rivers' crew.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Which brings me to another story... I had a buddy of mine that I've known for almost 20 years. A Packers fan (claims his allegiance is caused by a boyhood love for Sterling Sharpe). I don't talk to him during football season, as every year we have a falling out.

    I left Tucson, he became an alcoholic, got a DUI, knocked up a 20 yr old trashy whore, and has been on a downward spiral. We haven't spoken since April, and I'm thrilled to be relieved of drunken late night rage induced text messages.

    Well, he lives with a buddy of mine in Tucson. A fellow Chicagoan and avid Bears fan. Packers fan comes home blackout drunk one night, after having Bears fan watch his toddler child. Bears fan hears a sound of water being poured on the hardwood floor and comes out to...


    Bears fan wrestles drunk Packers fan away, piss spraying everywhere, while belligerent Packers fan yells obscenities at Bears fan.

    Bears fan (to me): "It was fucking nuts. I can't believe I didn't tell you this story before, as you can see why. He woke up screaming at me to move out, then pieced together the night and apologized. I had to clean up the piss from the baby, from the floor, everything. The only consolation was I made sure to use his Packers blanket for all piss soaking duties. It still hasn't been washed."

    That's a good fan.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Holy fucking epic.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Jesus Christo Sausage King.

    Anyone did anything like that to my kid, I'd have used the piss soaked Packers blanket to choke them out, put the kid in the tub, then drove with the kid to the hardware store to get a big roll of tarp and some shovels.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    The dude pissed on his OWN kid! It boggles my fucking mind.

    This is the guy, who when he found out my wife was pregnant, said - "I can babysit for you guys if you want"

    FUCK. NO.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Packers fans are a lower form of humanity.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Dude, I would honestly be tempted to call CPS man.

    I do NOT fuck around with ids psyches. That is some fucked up whiteT bullshit. Fucken a that pisses me off (no pun).

    Fucking looser piece of shit. Poor kid is destine for the same sadly.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Please tell me his roommate moved out.
    And took the kid to the nearest hospital.
    What a fucking asshole.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I'd buy the Jager and make it a fucking party.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Did you mean Luger and end the party?

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Jager first. Then the Luger. I like the way you think.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Now that I put my head back together after it fucking exploded after reading this story: Who pisses on their kid? If the kid was lying on the floor, the chances of urine hitting the kid while in a drunken stupor is amazing. Unless it was a small apartment...or maybe it was a giant baby. Then again, "fire hose like" implies intense width and impressive psi of the stream...There's just so many questions.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    impressive start this morning lad... "or maybe it was a giant baby"


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Those giant babies are outta control, man.

    Okay, I know I'm new here, so please excuse the noob question: Is it always this hard to follow my own fucking posts? Or will I continually need to scan an entire thread to see the replies. I have a feeling I already know the answer to this...

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Oh yeah, happy birthday MB. And the Cutler baby.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Welcome to the wonderful world of gnome code!

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Code Red, Code Red. I would do one of two things. Tie your friend down, and have everyone piss on him, including the kid (don't forget to record it, so you can send it to Tosh).

    Or this time proven method of straighten ass-hats out.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Good Christ. And Marijuana remains illegal ....

    The only reason I don't feel sorry for the kid is because it's a Packer.

  • First... BAAAAAAAAAahahahahaha! Very nice Jeff.

    dabearsblog Slide Spaeth over for help RT @jmarcuswebb: Happy Birthday to Jay Cutler's baby and ME!!!!!! Now I am obligated to protect the baby too!!!

    Second... I'll have my eyes glued to that POS Webb. Dude, either fucking man up and block someone (or everyone) this year (without 4 offsides calls first please), or get the fuck cut.

    Hardin. Let's see something dude. And I'm not talking about another broken appendage.

    Willie... very nice list. Here's my full list for those of you who care.

    Oh and Canada, at least this guy isn’t on the roids (holy shit!):

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Son of a bitch.

    You got me.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:


    ...that just happened.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Man, you are down on Hardin.

    Maybe if he wore #44 you might like him better....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    good memory GP. Would prefer #4 if you're asking.

    Not down on him maing, I've never seen the dude play a single down of football.

    ...just leery of a guy who we took with our 3rd overall pick (who no one else would have taken even in the 4th or maybe 5th) and who's never ever played a single down of safety in his life AND hasn't played FB in almost two years now because of multiple injuries.

    If we took him in the 6th as a flyer to try out at corner and groom him to be a back-up at SS or FS in the future I would be fine with that… but as an answer to our revolving door at safety for the last 5 fucking years!?!? No man, for that you go to a known college start (like Barron) in the first or second round and be done with the fucking bullshit dance lovie has put us through since my namesake. Period.

    All that said, I’m looking forward to seeing if the kid can play. If he can, I’ll be fired up.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Well, most of us wanted Mercilus on DBB in the 1st.

    But if you head to ESPN's Bears board or SB-Nation, those crowds over there were all jacked up over DeCastro. I mean, on SB Nation there are people ready to tear Emery's shit up for not picking DeCastro.

    And, early reports are from Steelers camp, DeCastro might not be ready for the Pro game.

    So - you know - fuck the mob. Mob doesn't know shit.

    I will be watching how Harrison Smith does over with the Vikes.

    I'm pretty damn happy with Jeffery in 2 since I wanted Merciless in 1. Might be interesting to see how Tavon Wilson works out for Raidah Nation.

    When Hardin came up in 3, I didn't even have him on radar. I wanted Brandon Thompson at DT who the Bengals got a few picks later.

    There are some stretch picks in 3, like Ronnie Hillman on the Broncos who we will see tomorrow. The Bumbling Browns went WAY off board in 3 with John Hughes at DT. That was a WTF moment.

    3 is where things get weird, and for now, we will see if Emery is a genius or just likes white safeties. The kid looks good in camp.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    yep, agree. time will tell... everything is just on paper at this juncture.

    Shit's about to get real yo.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think the WTF moment of the 2012 Draft was when the Pats drafted CB Tyvon Wilson in the 2nd. Who?

    But I guess 5 SB appearences buys a little confidence.

    Yeah, usually in the 3rd is when all those character-injury-small school risk players come off the board, which is why any mock draft beyond the 2nd becomes futile. Mock drafts in the first two rounds are somewhat accurate in WHO will be taken, just not when or where.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    He's blowing it up at practice MB. I know Jeff and others seem to dismiss camp, but Hardin is making plays when others are not, and that means something to me. It means more when Urlacher gives him props too, which he has been doing. Steltz knows the position know, Conte is learning ... but Hardin could be the real cheese.

    I trust the guy that brought him in. I trust he's not fluking camp, and I trust Urlacher's instinct. Did we need a ninth corner over Vontaze Burfict ?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Didn't you have the giant Taylor Mays boner a few years ago?

  • I'm gonna go a little off the radar like the Japanese at Pearl Harbor (too soon?)

    I'm gonna keep an eye on 6'5 220 WR Chris Summers and 5'11 185 Brittan Golden-Eye. I already saw Sanzen - it was called the 2011 season. He's the anti-Bolt. Starts off strong, fades fast.

    I am also very curious how this QB Blanchard kid performs. I keep hearing rave reviews on him, and want to see it for myself.

    And since I'm off radar, I just watched "Mosquito Coast" last night (a quarky flick to say the least) starring Harrison Ford and River Phoenix...which as we all know, came out together years later in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusades".

    De-cloaking to radar mode...

  • I thought that movie was highly underrated when it came out.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I think it would be a very pertinant movie esp now with a lot of people going "green." It also speaks to those who think the U.S. is going to shit, and apocalyptic mentality. I found the foil of the Evangalist verying compelling - in many ways they were both just as zealous, just about different beliefs. There were some good lines in that movie too, like "It would take courage to go there. Not your ordinary courage, but 4 o'clock in the morning courage." and the last line to that movie was downright poetic, but I won't spoil it.

  • I'm all about Jack Burton.


    Jack Burton... me!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Pork-Chop express? Didn't know you were into Wisc gals...Zing!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Big Trouble? Little China?

  • Today's joke of the day:

    Where do you go when you're not wanted by any NFL teams?

    The Arena League.

    Where do you go when you're cut by your Arena League team?

    The Seahawks.

  • Zing!

    Somewhere Rashied Davis cries tears of joy...

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Sadly - you dont have to go far to see R Davis tears - just head down to the practice field - they resigned him earlier this week

  • and sadly the Bears.

  • fb_avatar

    The Seahawks are a killer team. Joke or not they hit it big with Brandon Browner. If you hit on a starting CR for every 5 'projects' which make no sense you're doing great stuff.

  • check this out for our 16th weekend:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Section 432, row 31 - up to 6 available together at $226 a pop?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Boom! in!

    Doc, yes they are. I suggest to you what I suggested to shady the other night....

    December is basically 4 months away, if my maths is correct, that's 16 weeks. Each week take a nice, crisp $15 dollar bill and put it in a special, secret hiding place. At the end of the 16 weeks you'll have the necessary $230.

    Of course you need to pre-pay for the seats, so do that whole thing above retroactively.

    This is bucket list material mate. Suck it up.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Hmm... that's damn tempting.

  • In reply to SC Dave:


  • In reply to SC Dave:

    C'mon know you wanna.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Fuckin' A. Even the shit seats are expensive.

    I say we spend the next 4 months planning a way to break and enter.

  • If my knowledge of B&E is correct, based solely on a couple of viewings of "The Town", then we need an ambulance, some EMT and police uniforms, Jeremy Renner, Pete Postlethwaite, and some anonymous hot teacher chick to be my love interest.

    And then we should be good.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Ahhhh...shit. Drop the Groucho duck, you said the secret word.

    +2,398 Blog points for Pete Postlethwaite name drop.

    "Get your rest, Gentlemen. The boat will be ready for you on Friday. If I see you or any of your friends before then, Miss. Finneran will find herself the victim of a most gruesome violation before she dies. As will your father, Mr. Hockney. and your Uncle Randall in Arizona, Mr. Kint. I might only castrate Mr. McManus's nephew, David. Do I make myself clear? " - Kobayashi

  • In reply to gpldan:

    that was a film.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    i can watch that movie on network tv with commericials it's so good.

  • this is fucking awesome. How god does this make us feel about the upcoming season?

    Fuck me man.

  • Holy Shit boys, the shit just hit the fan:

  • In reply to Waffle:

    High fucking five.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

  • In reply to Waffle:

    What the fuck...which asshole wrote that headline.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I think I actually pooped a little.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I wrote it because I wanted to make people feel the pain and dread that i feel about Urlachers injury, the mere thought of DOM FUCKING DECICCO at Linebacker or Roach.

    I'm sorry for the pain that i've caused.


  • In reply to Waffle:

    I was so upset when I saw that link I almost pissed on a baby.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    If I saw a guy piss on his kid I'd stomp on that motherfuckers stomach until he died.

    That, my friends, is not a pleasant way to go.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Death by stomach stomp.

    I think that was in season 3 of Breaking Bad....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    i just started season 1. i'm excited.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    di-chico... the name is di-chico

    (yes, I will reference that clip every time I hear that dude's name, because after I hear it, it's all I can think about)

  • In reply to Waffle:

    You sneaky fucker - it's a hajji for you.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Bastard. Did you get a diploma from the school of Tyler Durden?

    Decicco was an awesome mob boss. Did he steal the jelly from your doughnut or something?

  • In reply to Waffle:

    that was both brilliant and insidious at the same time yooooouuu moooooootherfuuuuucker!

  • I'm the HB kiss of death.

    Last year, I drafted Hillis and Best. Hillis nearly joined the CIA, and Best might retire from concussions.

    So, I scoop up Kevin Smith (Love Dogma) - he gets inj. Demarco Murray - oh, he breaks his ankle.

    This year, I decided on a young stud in T-rich, and now, naturally, he's getting his knee scoped! WTF!?

  • Oh, and I had Hightower too, then he tore his ACL. Good thing I didn't draft Forte this year.

  • I seem to always be in a position of drafting Forte ... and doing so. He's going to lose all goal-line touches and probably up to ten TDs to Michael Bush.

    Stashing Spiller, Leshoure or Doug Martin might pay off later ?


    I'm a former track guy and so this may just impress me - this took guts. Enormous guts.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    fuck that dude. All he does is get injured in the biggest meets of his life, and then limp around begging for sympathy from the T&F world.


  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    sorry, didn't mean to shit on your tribute rabbit... but come the fuck on Chinese guy.

    You're a fucking Olympic goal-medalist in your one discipline and you can't even clear the first fucking hurdle without winding up in a fucking whining heap?!?!

    Dude, time to stop wasting our time and fucking retire. Dickhead.

    (too strong?)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    In fairness to him, he's got a chronic Achilles tendon problem and probably suffered a complete tear as soon as he landed after the first hurdle.
    It's the fact that after this happened to him twice in 8 years, that he still bucked up and finished that impresses me. He was halfway off the field before he decided he was going to finish, even if it was dead last in a prelim heat...and in what I imagine was pretty excruciating pain.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    ok, I'll give that to him.

    Like a guy with chronic ED trying to be a porn star.

    Buh bye now. Ni how!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Since he was the world-record holder in 2006, and won the WC in 2007, it's more like John Holmes having chronic ED, but yeah.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Nothing against the guy but I don't get it.

    Last night I saw a women's 800 meter qualifier and some woman was covered from head to toe. Scarf on her head, green jacket, tights. She finished 44 seconds behind the winner. What's the fuckin' point? I'm guessing the garb was for religious purposes but just looking at her before the race you knew she'd be a joke. If you barely finish on the same lap in a two lap race maybe you shouldn't be at the olympics.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    "Some conservative Saudis had criticised their countrywomen's participation in London after Saudi Arabia broke with its practice of sending male-only teams to the world's biggest sports event.
    However, Attar was able to compete on Wednesday and her run, however slow, marks the beginning of an interesting journey for Saudi Arabia's aspiring female athletes."

  • In reply to Shady:

    Hilarious... I'm going to send my son to the next olympics and say it's going to be a ground breaking event for toddlers everywhere! No matter how slow he runs the 1500M.

    Fucking ridiculous.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    ok ok just kidding... sheesh! Lighten up. did she run it with, or without the explosive suicide vest?

    I keeeed, I keeeeeed.

  • In reply to Shady:

    That's the best "human interest" story I've heard during the Olympics. She's probably more courageous than anyone on this blog. You never know, but it could be like a Rosa Parks moment in Saudi Arabia.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Well good for her. She still couldn't out run half the kids in gym class.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I'm seriously thinking of moving to Saudi. A teacher can save between 5 to 8 thousand dollars a month teaching English to oil company execs. Catch? You live in a compound. It's a busy enough teaching load, but it's basic English, flights and accommodation are paid for and all you're doing is saving cash. Bring the twins, hire some Phlilipino nannies and live like a sex-Sheikh.

    Question : how long before the shit goes down in the Middle East?

  • Be careful there my friend. I'm sure the money would be great but the quality of life could be pretty sketchy.

  • Not long at all.

  • If you were single, I'd say "why the hell not", but if the fuse gets lit out there, do you really want to be trying to get a couple of toddlers out of the country on your lonesome?

  • fb_avatar

    Hayden & Evan Rodriguez... the biggest needs on the roster. For the fun of it Blake Costanzo & I want to see Taub's choice of the 2 starting gunners.

    Mihai (Romania)

  • Mr. Willie Gault that story is pure gold! A good friend of mine woke up in the middle of the night and pissed on his roomates face when he was in college, I thought that was a good one, but toddler pissing? That is a brand new level. What a goon!

    I'll be watching for the 3rd d end to step up. Wooten/McLovin/Davis should all get some good playing time vs backup tackles, so we should see something. I'm also interested in seeing this hard-on kid. With his measurables he could be a good player, I really want to see if he looks lost out there though.

    Besides that, I'll be keeping a close eye on LoLo Jone's butthole

  • hahahahahahahah... excellent.

    btw, I thought the little blond croatian(?) floor specialist last night was cute too. She looked like a woman, not a 10 year old.

  • Scratch LoLo .... I want to wear Gabrielle Douglas like a horse's feedbag.

  • I think you'd go to jail for that one!

  • Whaddayaknow? It's AUCTION ADVERTISING TIME!

    We have 3 slots available. 10 team auction. Hopefully we'll fill it with fan's of the beloved and no civilians. Draft will likely be on a post-sundown Saturday or Sunday.

    Send me an email if you want a piece -

    Coach - I know how you feel about it, so I reserved you a spot.

    OsosFan - you expressed some interest... hop on in!

    Grizzle - your prolific opening day could only be topped with an official entry into the unofficial auction league... first time's free.

    All you other mugs, bring it... it's buy none, get one free.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Pube salad.

  • Crusty brown croutons.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Yo Willie, you're persistent badgering has swayed me like that one "tour guide" in TJ who kept taking to various strip clubs promising a donkey show.

    I didn't want to be one of those who played in like 10 leagues, and I just wanted to get my feet wet (last year was my rook FF year), but this year I'll try out the Auction and Traditional, so that next year I'll know which one to enter.


    Prepare your ANGUS!!! bwhahah

  • This is a new $60M HIGH SCHOOL football stadium in... guess where... Texas.

  • Pissing on your own kid? Hello DCFS. I've been hammered and pissed in a closet but that's it. Grizz welcome aboard. Thanks for bringing your A game. You guys are on fire today. I'll be watching the DL and backup LB's. Also, Jeffery.

    MB those track guys are freaks of nature. Pretty odd pic. Who focuses their camera on that? Please don't answer, it was rhetorical!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    yeah canada, that german is a beast on roids and ghb... normal people don't look like that no matter how much/how hard they train.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Thanks man. I've been reading you guys for a while now, finally got the bug up my ass to join in the conversation. This is bar none the best blog on Our Beloved I've seen on the net. It's nice to be among those who are just as witty and/or just as big of an asshole as I. There, I'm done being sappy. Group hug.

  • Alshon. Dude is going to dominate tomorrow night.

  • Damn. Browns have new owners but same shit brown Cleveland hellhole luck.

    Trent Richardson might need the knife on his knee

  • In reply to gpldan:

    damn. that SUCKS

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    you know.... for them.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    yeah, see above post.

    anyone HB I draft in FF automatically gets hurt.

    I would say QBs too since I drafted Vick last season, but he always gets injured.

    However, maybe I'll test it and draft Rodgers in the Auction League.

  • Does anyone think A-Rod will seriously put up such big numbers? I got Cutty in the seventh last night (10 man league). He's estimated to get 1.25 TDs a game by ESPN. They have A-rod throwing 23 more TDs. Why? Driver's retired. They have no running game. Their defense was bottom of the league last year. We have a defense, a running game, and more weapons on offense, right?

    A-Rod is the son of God momentarily .... but he has no ace up his sleeve. We've seen the man who has known no other system in 5 or 6 years and been blessed with targets, now it's Jay's turn to be the man.

  • I don't play FF but I wouldn't bet against Rodgers. Not sure Driver's retired. Doesn't make much difference. Jennings, Nelson, Jones, Cobb, Finley. OUCH! No running game means more TD's in close for Rodgers. Ditto for the shitty D. More shootouts. He's been lights out for the last 2 years and doubt he shits the bed this year.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    that analysis sounds like you already play FF, in your mind.

    you should join Canada. If Murph can do it, so can you! It's fun (and admiringly, a little addicting).

    Speaking of Murph, is he ok?

  • Fuck Rodgers in the ocular cavity

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That's why I didn't agree with Cleveland making that pick - I can't fault them, but I wouldn't have done it myself. I would have taken the tackle or the corner or traded down. Running backs are too vulnerable. And I certainly would not have traded UP with Minny. Stupid move.

    Mike Holmgren has done absolutely nothing to help that team. Nothing.

  • DeCicco is who I'm watching. Not quite sure what's into Waffle, but I want to see if the guy can play. We really don't have a whole lot of depth at LB and we just *might* have to depend on the guy.

    Honestly, I have no idea whether he sucks or not. And I'd like to find out.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Dominator don't suck. I think he fucked Waffles sister but I think he can play.

    This is a team that put fucking Hillyenmeyer in there for a year. Next to that I'd suit Butkus back up....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And ya'll dis HH too... he started for what, seven fucking years as a Chicago Bears LB? And hence is of a pretty elite fraternity.

    A Mike has was not, to be sure - we all knew that. I'm betting he did too - but what choice was there, really?

    And I'll always love his enabling of my favorite Hester return of all:

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    but what choice was there, really?


  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Hattie Hillenmeyer is the worst middle Linebacker - the worst - I have ever seen. Given he wasn't a true Mike he gets a pass, but mang .... What choice was there? Exactly. That's why Jerry got fired.

    How many of us have wanted a receiver for the longest time ? How about a middle linebacker who isn't a joke? When's the last time we had one of those that wasn't called Urlacher?

    Was anyone impressed with Roach in his usual position? Is he suddenly going to shine when he becomes general of the defense?

    Is. He. Fuck.

    Franchise receiver and QB on board? Check. Center and MLB? That defense is toast if Brian goes down.

  • I really was hoping for a miracle and that Keuchly would fall to us in the draft. Oh well.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Yep - HH shouldn't be dogged for his work at MLB.
    Blame Jerry.

  • we may be fucked:

  • On a Bears note,

    The Bears D better not let Manning dink and dunk down field and score like Brees did to the Cards.

    If that's the case, expect Rodgers to do the same, only he has more dangerous WR/TEs and can run.

    And I don't want any of these pre-manufactured excuses, "We didn't game plan" yada-yada

    Manning. Dead.

  • MANNING DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Wooten to get that vile turtle-headed ponce out of my life once and for all. The most over-rated QB of all time without doubt. He had to run into a no-MB/Tommie Harris Bears D with a Rex Grossman-'led' offense in order to win the most ridiculous SB MVP award ever.

    If Wooten can do this, there will be a broadway play in it. The man that managed to heroic acts on two downs, never to do anything else in his career. Favre. Turtlehead. Dead.

    No doubt teams will dink and dunk on us this year, that's okay, let them chew up the clock while we steamroll back over them. Let our ST and defense score for us, let Jay and Brandon run amok. Let them come. Let the Patriots c ome with their new defense - good luck to them. Let GB do their worst on defense. Stafford shits the bed. Let the Ravens see how average Joe Flacco is. Ditto the Falcons. Fuck Alex Smith. Fuck Eli Manning - the second most over-rated QB in the NFL. We could beat the Steelers with the bad old Bears. It's the Saints that could piss on our parade, let's hope their hoodoo is crippling.

    But to be honest, without Urlacher in that game, Manning will have a field day.

    But please, baby Jebus ... WOOT! WOOT!

  • The Saints? I don't see them doing shit this year. They'll have a good offense, but without Vilma they'll be like the Bears without #54.

  • Say this for country singers...when they get crazy, they get crazy.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Face down naked in the road. I wonder if he was pissed on...

    Titles of his next CD:

    I was out getting hammered (while she was home getting nailed).
    You can't make a heel toe the line
    Redneck with white socks and blue ribbon beer
    My head hurts, my feet stink and I don't love Jesus
    Thank God and Greyhound I'm free
    I can't get over you till you're out from under him
    I hate every bone in her body (except mine)
    I missed you (but my aim's improvin') and the hit follow-up:
    If I killed you when I met you, I'd be outta jail by now
    If you wanna keep your beer cold, keep it next to my wife's heart
    Flushed from the bathroom of your heart

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Maybe he pissed on one of those giant babies and the baby woke up pissed. So to speak.

  • As noted above, those giant babies are out of control.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think your fourth one is my favorite.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    That guy's career is in the toliet. He played in a casino up here. Usually the only bands that play there are Herman's Hermits and other '60's retreads.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Playing in ANY casino is definitely the death knell. I think John Denver just played a casino in Dubuque, IA...and he's fucking dead.

    It's too bad, my Grandma loves Randy Travis. I wonder if she knows about it. If she doesn't, I can't wait to tell her. I'm cynical like that.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    It's amazing what they can do with animatronics these days.

    It's keeping the smell down that's difficult.

  • From MBHP's Liu Xiang article:

    "Coming from someone -- myself -- who experienced two Achilles ruptures, it's the most emotionally and psychologically devastating injury you can have," says Nehemiah. "It's a fearful thing, and it's an excruciating pain when you have it before it does rupture. So I can only imagine that he was just hopeful it would stay together as long as it could. He was probably a bit more injured than we all knew."


    This is no lie. When mine ruptured, I went down and I seriously thought I'd been shot. For about 5 seconds, I looked around for the guy who shot me. That's how it feels at first, or what I think it might feel like to be shot because I never have been.

    Then, the WAVE of pain hits. It's enough to black you out. It's incredible. Hopping like that took insane guts.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Weird, but my buddy who ruptured his Achilles had no pain whatsoever. He was playing racquetball and it let go--the tendon zipped up into his calf like an old-timey windowblind, and he couldn't work his foot/ankle right, but he said it didn't hurt much at all--not in the calf/achilles area, at least.

    I think my buddy is an anomaly. I know when I got rolled up on my ankle (eversion-rotation and a grade 3 sprain), I thought my foot had been ripped clean off my body. Crawled to the sideline & didn't want to look back, sure that my foot was still on the field, cleats stuck in the turf. Worst pain I'd ever experienced--and I walk with a limp 20 years later. So I have great, great empathy for Achilles injuries (one reason I think Robin Ventura is a stud).

  • Willie, I read your piss post above and can't get it off my mind. It was sickening to read it. What he did is CHILD ABUSE, plain and simple. That guy has some violent, aggressive tendencies that came out when he was drunk. Is the mother aware of this, or is she just as fucked up? This incident didn't just "randomly" happen. It's probably just the start, unless someone has the courage to do something about it.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    I'm with ya on that one Cor. I wasn't kidding about calling the DCFS if I was involved.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    me neither. Call them maings. That kid is going to wind up much worse than just pissed on at some point.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Yeah, I was joking about the kid being a Packer fan, but that father has issues - you don't fire-hose your kid because you've had a few beers, sub-consciously he seems to resent his kid - maybe he blames his kid for taking his freedom away? Stupidly, but stupid is as stupid does Forrest.

    Probably the saddest thing I've heard in relation to kids and alcohol is that the main cause of death for babies is their drunk parents rolling over on top of them when they've had a skinful.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    The dude is genuinely fucked in the head. He used to be normal (seemingly)... Nice kid, respectful, high school maths teacher and basketball coach.

    His soon-to-be fiance bounced. He started dating an 18 year old lowlife with a kid (he was 28 or 29). Their drama knows no bounds.

    He's driving down a mountain road in Tucson when she accuses him of cheating. Threatens to jump out the car. He slows down as he tries to keep her in.. line of cars behind his. She jumps in the backseat, hops out in front of a bunch of cars. Cops called. DUI and possession for him. Downward spiral begins.

    Drinking. Crying. Drinking. Attempting to start fights. More drinking. Probably more crying.

    Goes to said girl's house again. Hangs out. Gets drunk. Passes out. Wakes up to her and another girl beating his ass. Knocked out. Thrown through a window. Wakes up in the hospital.

    More drinking and crying and trying to start fights with people (he weighs about 120 soaking wet).

    Knocks said girl up. Commence drinking, crying, drinking and fighting.

    Proceeds to send me drunken ramblings of a madman via text and email at owl hours. Wants to "move to Omaha for a fresh start". I do my best to keep that from happening.

    More drinking, crying, fighting, and now - baby pissing.

    Most of this shit is just the tip of the iceberg. I could write an entire movie on this fucked up dude's bullshit.

    Needless to say, we don't talk anymore. I heard about the pissing thing two nights ago. He does need to have the kid taken away, but the mom is also so fucked up. First time I thought the foster system was the best option.

    I'm just glad he's out of my life. That fucking bitch.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    someone's gotta do something maings. Seriously. Just call CPS anonymously

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    He's driving down a mountain road in Tucson when she accuses him of cheating. Threatens to jump out the car. He slows down as he tries to keep her in.. line of cars behind his. She jumps in the backseat, hops out in front of a bunch of cars. Cops called. DUI and possession for him. Downward spiral begins.

    :Drinking. Crying. Drinking. Attempting to start fights. More drinking. Probably more crying.

    Goes to said girl's house again. Hangs out. Gets drunk. Passes out. Wakes up to her and another girl beating his ass. Knocked out. Thrown through a window. Wakes up in the hospital."

    ---This sounds like a Guns and Roses video.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    You could do a spoken word version of it over the video to "November Rain" and melt Youtube down.

  • Football's back, bitches. We're suckin diesel now boy.

  • Umm... who accidentally knows a site that might provide coverage for possibly tonight?



  • Allegedly.

  • Packer fan must be REALLY stressed out...

  • Is it bad juju for me to wish Woot takes Manning OUT? Even if its a bit AFTER the play ends and grabs a 15 and 4 game suspension? NAWWWWWWWWWW! MANNING=DEAD!

  • Alright boys, question: How do I get a cute little avatar next to my name? You'd think this shit would be easy to figure out.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    To be quite honest, I don't remember lol We have to use another website to actually get our avatars.

    Who remembers the site?

  • Gravatar or something like that?

  • Use the same email you use to log in to da blog and you should be set...

  • Ya gotta log out from the gravatar site. Then refresh your browser. Mine started workin that way.

  • Awesome, skank you very much.

  • Did it work?

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    I tried it. dont seem to work

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    It worked for you. Maybe it takes awhile because I can see your avatar and it's a player with the number 99.

  • In reply to Grizz33:



  • What the truck...

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Did ya find a pic to use? Ya gotta link it to that site. Im kinda slow with technology, but I logged out of both this site and that one, refreshed,then it worked. Now I got my Danimal pic back.

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    Yeah, I found a pic. Just trying to figure out how to link it to the site. I'm a little slow this morning.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    On that gravtron site, I copy/pasted the URL for the pic Im using. Did it give you an option for uploading a pic? It should ask you to crop then save your pic. I then logged out of both this site and that one. Logged back into this one and it worked. Fucking technology. We are all doomed.

  • In reply to BAM46Blitz:

    Yeah, I did all of that. I think it hates me.

  • Test. You guys getting sick of this shit yet? I am.

  • Test

  • In reply to Grizz33:


  • In reply to Grizz33:

    Lovie as Morpheus test.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:


  • Manning=DEAD! Cutler to Marshall for the TD on the second play. I predict. Then Denver offers up their entire draft for the next 5 years to get the band back. Emery tells em to get fucked. Clady then defects to Da Bears too. Sweet.

  • Sweet baby Jesus, finally. All that shit just to show off the sweet tat on my left calf. I need a nap.

  • In reply to Grizz33:

    that's a tuff tat maing. I wish we could have the screaming bear logo on the helmets or a hybrid somehow with the classic "C"... I stated, before, that I'm all about the tradition with the bears just wish we used our namesake more.... like on the jerseys or pants or something.......

  • In reply to OsosFan:

    Thanks man! The logo I got was definitely my favorite Bears logo of all time. Kinda makes me wanna bust out my Starter jacket from middle school.

    I honestly like the tradition they keep when it comes to their uniforms. Simple, classic.

  • I'm very excited for the big game tonight! Bears are back! Woohoo!

    My 1st hope is that everyone stays healthy. I think it is an excellent decision by coach Lovie to let the mighty Brian Urlacher sit out this game. It is only the preseason so it does not count toward their record. there is no use playing your number 1 superstar if he is not at full health. And he his getting older.

    I am most excited to see what Brandon Marshall can do. I hope that coach Lovie gives the first time some time to shine.

    Is it possible the Bears can win the Superbowl? I don't know. But it surely will be a wild ride!!!!!

  • In reply to BlitzKrieg:

    damn, the humor has lost it luster so quickly that my initial amusement at your schtick has now turned into sadness.

    First, you can't break character ever or else it's not funny anymore. You don't have to be a linguist to see where you fucked up.

    Second, I don't like you and never really have.

  • Salient point on the BEars game from

    "When the Bears have the ball, keep an eye on Brandon Marshall when he’s matched up against Champ Bailey, J’Marcus Webb against Elvis Dumervil, and Gabe Carimi against Von Miller on passing downs."

    Doesn't sound all that hot does it?

    "When the Broncos have the ball, keep an eye on Julius Peppers against Ryan Clady, Tim Jennings against Eric Decker, and look to see if the Bears sub Israel Idonije with Shea McClellin on passing downs."

    Jennings v Decker? Ouch.

  • I knew that McDaniels was not the best guy, but geez...

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Can you imagine if we meet McDaniels in the Superbowl?

    Talk about revenge.

  • In reply to SC Dave:






  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Yeah... have not had this much anticipation for a Bears season since 1986.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    A lot of coaches do that kind of thing; being two-faced with the players and making petty power plays with access to meetings. I don't know what it is about football that makes coaches feel like they'll get better play that way, but the habits continue.

    That's probably one reason the players think so highly of Lovie. He might be irritating to listen to at a press conference, but he is someone I would absolutely trust to have my back. I have never heard any player accuse Lovie of being anything but straight with them. There's a lot to be said for that.

  • Here are some players I am going to be looking at this game...

  • Good article, Artoo. One that sticks out the most to me is Armando Allen. From what I remember he looked good in preseason last year. I'm about done with Bell. Why keep a guy that fumbles as much as someone with Parkinson's. He had a long run a couple years ago. Yeah, neat. It's time to move on. Maybe Allen can be the next Garrett Wolf....but actually good. And no mugshot showing how he got his ass beat.

    I just realized I'm bitching about a 3rd string running back. It's a good problem to have.

  • "DaCoach's Mustache
    Didn't you have the giant Taylor Mays boner a few years ago?"

    Yes, I did. Sadly.

    Hence the lesson learned. I may be dumb, but I'm not crazy.

    And damn you for bringing him up to me... the wound is still raw!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Taylor Mays couldn't cover a floor if he were a rug. That's why I'm always weary of yoked out safeties who look more like linebacker, even if they are fast.

    As a safety, one must be agile and saavy - guys like Mays are dumb, don't understand angles, concepts, recognition, keys and lack coverage skills.

    Like I said before - what's the point of being fast if you're dumb? It only means you're gonna be in the wrong spot faster.

    Major Wright is in danger of becoming a Mays, but at least he didn't cost a 1st or anything.

  • Didn't he cost us Urlacher's knee?

  • damn you... damn you to hell.

  • as Fred responded I didnt even know that anyone can earn $7015 in a few weeks on the internet. did you see this website [N][u][t][t][y][R][i][c][h].c O m

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