Bears Priority One: In House

There are rumors, RUMORS mind you, that the players and owners are targeting a resolution to this labor nonsense on July 21st.  Your first question should be what my first question was: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING TEN DAYS?  GET THIS DAMN THING DONE.  PFT does a very nice job breaking down how the days after that resolution might play out.  It goes without saying that if this deal gets done July 21st, we are in for one of those most ridiculous and perhaps exciting months in NFL history to follow.

It's hard to write a list of things I want the Chicago Bears to do, especially considering a general lack of knowledge of what the financial infrastructure of the league will look like.  So my recommendations - which I know Halas Hall will take very seriously - are simple but economically uninformed.

Sign everybody from the 2010 roster.  And I almost mean everybody.  With the shortened offseason the Bears must show comfortability with going back into battle with a bulk of the individuals who took them to the NFC Championship Game in 2010.  Olin Kreutz, Anthony Adams, Danieal Manning, Caleb Hanie, Rashied Davis, Corey Graham.  Bring them all back.  I'm not advocating breaking the bank for any of them but a few dollars over market value with feel like a freebie when it comes to the continuity they'll provide on the field.  2011 will reward continuity over all other things, especially for the first 8 games or so.

This doesn't mean the Bears should not go out there and improve the roster.  Sidney Rice is a must, in my opinion, and I can be persuaded to get into the Antonio Cromartie market without much arm pulling.  (He's a cunt but he can play corner.)  But if PFT is correct, and the re-sign window will be small, Jerry Angelo should have deals on the desks of the 2010 Bears to make the 2011 Bears.

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  • Jeff, I agree with ya but there's no way they are going to pony up the dough for Manning or Graham. The staff wants to give Major P and the Moore's (DJ and Josh) a shot. Major and DJ showed some promise last year. If Major slows down and plays under control he might be pretty good. DJ has a nose for the ball but that doesn't mean he can play CB. Josh needed to bulk up. It will be a crazy signing period.

  • They better settle soon. The arrest count got numped up 2 notches over the weekend.

  • My sweet baby jesus Jeff.

    I agree with resigning most of the 2010 roster (within fiscal reason), I get Rice (or someone else 6'4" and 225 or above), I even kind of get Cro-magnon (nice use of "cunt" btw)... but for farve's sake, we need at least one, if not two… a true guard and a guard who can easily move over to center after this year, in FA.

    We don't get those puzzle pieces and nothing else will matter. One season and almost loosing (see how I did that Johnny or Irish) Cutty should be enough to convince you that we can't have the worst oline in the NFL for a 3rd year running, we simply can’t. And just adding the BJ ain't going to get us out of that sorry slot.

    I would say that if we only chose (oops, I did it again) only two guys in all FA, I would be willing to say bye bye bye (on a roll) to manning and graham in order to get us two very good/solid proven guard(s)/Center… and maybe even a T somewhere if we save a shitload on the two DBs. If we sure up the oline, our current receiving corps might not be perfect with the big playmaker we desperately need, but it will look a helluva lot better with 2-4 more seconds and we might not even have to worry about cutty’s life this year (think Giants).

    Can I get a hallelujah?? Can I get a Hells Yes!!!????

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB, Hell's Yes!

    Also, I am incapable of having sex with Nancy Grace. Just one withering look from her and my pride and joy would leave the premisis. Although, to be totally truthful my favorite saying is "If you can't cut the mustard you can still lick the jar."

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Can't get the image of a sexual Nancy Grace out of my head now unfortunately. Thanks Canada. I could see her being into S&M-black leather and whips with a vagina like a venus fly-trap. She'd be yelling "tot-mom" over and over if you can find the g on that beast.

  • In reply to Crown:

    Sure you can't you sick bastard

  • In reply to Crown:

    Hilarious, Crown. I've done bigger and uglier (one or the other, not both) but I've never been with someone so over the top bitchy. Couldn't handle that!

  • btw GP, I wouldn't fuck Nancy Grace with your dick my man.

    Uhhhgggg... shiver.

  • Listen I'd love to sign new offensive linemen but we have no idea what is going to be out there to sign.

  • Yes, that is true, somewhat...

    We do know that there are a number of FAs out there that will be FAs no matter how a labor deal shakes out right? And yes, who knows if teams will resign some of their FAs, but we know there WILL BE AT LEAST TWO OLINEMEN that would make us better.

    I do believe that's a fair statement... and I do believe we need to focus once again and evermore on FIXING OUR CRITICAL, BROKEN GAPS FIRST, before we simply look to strengthen areas that are at the very least stable - maybe not spectacular, but stable. I know I sound like a broken record, but for fuck sake it’s just common sense man!

    ...ok, let me ask you this then Jeff... would you take RIce over Carl nicks or Jarred Gaither if they were all available for around the same pain (and this pick was to be our only FA signing)?

  • Admittedly I know NOTHING about the Houston Texans, and about as much about other GMs around the league… but Rick Smith’s (Texans GM) POV was pretty interesting. He HAS to be a better GM than Angelo… my left testicle is after all.

    Read the section on free agency if nothing else:

  • Hey Rodgers you fucking pussy... stop doing that sooo fucking gaaaaaaay belt garbage and fucking man up.

    Why don't you get something like this to make that fucking lame celebration somewhat legitimate. Fag*.

    *Disclaimer: Not that there’s anything wrong with that

  • Cant get used to the new look just yet. Weird.

  • Cant get used to the new look yet. Weird

  • For any of you boys considering fatherhood, I feel it is my duty to warn you. Pregnant Woman = Bi-Polar Woman. Just sayin'.

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Doc, if I may amend your statement...

    Woman = bipolar

  • In reply to MB30SD:


    Pregnant Woman = Clinically Insane Woman.

    See also, psychotic, balmy, barmy [chiefly British], bats, batty, bedlam, bonkers, brainsick, bughouse [slang], certifiable, crackbrained, cracked, crackers, crackpot, cranky [dialect], crazed, crazy, cuckoo, daffy, daft, demented, deranged, fruity [slang], gaga, haywire, kooky (also kookie), loco [slang], loony (also looney), loony tunes (or looney tunes), lunatic, mad, maniacal (also maniac), mental, meshuga (or meshugge also meshugah or meshuggah), moonstruck, non compos mentis, nuts, nutty, psycho, scatty [chiefly British], screwy, unbalanced, unhinged, unsound, wacko (also whacko), wacky (also whacky), wud [chiefly Scottish]
    Related Words dotty, fey, loopy, off, potty [chiefly British], teched (or tetched), touched; aberrant, delirious, delusional, delusionary, disordered, disturbed, neurotic, obsessive-compulsive, paranoiac (also paranoic), paranoid (also paranoidal), schizoid, schizophrenic, sociopathic; eccentric, odd, oddball, pixilated (also pixillated), queer, strange; foolish, senseless, witless; irrational, unreasonable; amok (or amuck), ape, ballistic, bananas, berserk, nuclear; depressed; distracted, distraught, frantic, frenzied, haywire, hysterical (also hysteric), raving, wigged-out; fixated, monomaniac, monomaniacal, obsessed

    Near Antonyms clear, lucid, rational, reasonable; judicious, sensible, wise; healthy, normal, well-adjusted; unneurotic

    Antonyms balanced, compos mentis, sane, sound, uncrazy...

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Doc, am I to assume your Beloved Bride has been a bit quirky recently? Hang in there brother. I've always said if it were up to men to bear children the species would have died out long ago. Hope things settle into a calm routine in the very near future.

    How's you leg? Hope it didn't get infected. I do a fair bit of night riding but it's always in town on the streets/bikepaths. Not to mention I have lights.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Yeah Canada, she's a bit more bipolar than usual. To be clear, I'm not bitching or anything, because my wife is generally one of the least bitchy chicks I've ever known, and I know she's going through crazy shit being pregs and all. I just wanted to warn people. During her first pregnancy, I had no idea what to expect, and we had many a hormone induced fight. Now, I understand enough to deal with it and avoid said fights, but I wanted Crown and others to be so advised.

    As for the chain ring, it was pretty minor. I've seen much much worse. All is well, just looks gory.

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Thanks for the heads up Doc. At least you know the game by now and can sense the hormonal changes. For this reason exactly, I got my lady passed out drunk the other night and secretly impalnted an IUD in her. In the year of Wooton, I will not be reproducing.

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Hey Doc, The first one is the learning experience and most things can be forgiven from lack of..... But the 2nd one: whole different ballgame Dude.,,she knows whats coming now...and the best thing any guy can do is remember one thing...No matter what is...what goes wrong...and what happens......It's YOUR fault! Don't care who the horny one was and who jumped who when she conceived...It's YOUR fault!!!
    Oh, and another word to the wise.. if you get to be in the birthing room while she is in labor..and you've already experienced the different mood shifts they go through...make sure you don't dose off while your counting the time between cramps cause I did that and I have this habit of twitching my foot when I go to sleep..Well I had a De Javu experience like I was back in the 70's at the movie theater and I was the Priest in "The Exorsist" in the bedroom scene trying to get the demon out of the little girl..but in reality it was my wife using cuss words I ain't never heard before(and I drove truck for 40 yrs) telling to stop tapping the bed with my foot. Scared the shit out of I take her, her morning coffee to get her up for work and once in awhile I'll sneak in the room and lay on the floor and tap the bed frame just to screw with her..usually get nailed with a flying's worth it!

  • In reply to MaddBearfan:

    Hey madd bear... so what sshould doc expect since this is his THIRD!!!!


  • Today was a bi-polar woman. 13 hours in and a lot more to go. So we are all for a stud on the off? Particularly a guard? I hope two guards help more than a stud wideout getting open

  • In reply to Artoo:

    Artoo ... getting open doesn't matter when your qb is either writhing on the turf in pain, or running for his life.

  • In reply to Artoo:

    Artoo, you haven't told us what this slavish job is yet. Hella secrecy.

  • No doubt your right testicle would make a better GM than our Jerry, MB. In fact, so would the leftovers from your Bris. For me, the Houston GM has to be one of the sharpest in the league based on Arian Foster going undrafted. That alone would make me want to give him a job. So I'm tempering any excitement about FA signings given the complete plum responsible for making ours. Being so slow to rsign key players just meansd their agents - sorry, I mean Drew Rosenhaus - has had plenty of time to shop them around. We are in a world of pain if Kreutz isn't there next season.

    Looks like the USA could have a quick world cup double on their hands in soccer and pigskin. You guys following this? The girls beat Brazil for a place in the semis, and from what I've just witnessed in the WC of gridiron (Austria v Canada, dropsies bowl), the USA should win that easily.

    Award for biggest pair of the week has got to go to Timothy Geithner. More incredible than a guy going from being in charge of the Fed to being treasury secretary (seriously - how does that happen?), was his blaming the state of the economy on :

    1. Gas prices.
    2. The weather.

    Still no mention of the nation renting its own money from the crooks at the Fed. Can somebody pay Ron Paul to heckle this guy at least?

  • How did I miss that?

    I'll take a c**t at corner ! Nice one Jefe.

  • i fear torn hammy's when training camp starts. this is bullshit. they will eventually get this show rolling but guys are going to go down like flies.

  • T.O. has to pay $5000 a month in child support, where do they get these figures? What happens if we sign T.O. and Cromartie ? Can we be sure these guys can keep their cocks in their pants on the practice field? Somebody could have Cutler's eye out.

  • In reply to IrishSweetness:

    Irish, most states have charts that designate what you pay for child support. If you make X, you pay Y. I'm constantly amazed by these guys. Get fixed &/or wrap that rascal.

    I do like the mental image of those guys running around the field jousting with teammates. YIKES!

  • Did you guys read this linked story? Cops were asking this guy questions. He got tired of answering them and started to walk away. One cop grabbed him and he hit him with a couple of big beers (24 oz) in a bag. The other cop shot him dead. Seems a tad over the top to me. Maybe there is more to it. Who knows?

  • Civil Engineer Intern, mostly file work and time work.

    I thought I said it on the last page.

  • Snag a lineman and a WR in free agency and i'll be stoked. This site sucks donkey cock.

  • In my humble opinion, the format change perpetrated on this blog isn't just a STEP backwards, it's a GIANT LEAP backwards.

    I use the term "perpetrated" specifically because what Chicago Now has done here is a crime.

    I liken it to re-hiring Dave Wannstedt or Dick Jauron to coach Da Bears.

    I can get used to the reverse order listings, but replies to specific comments not being nested with said comment is just ignorant.

  • The sooner they announce a labor agreement the sooner I can stop thinking about a naked Nancy Grace or the delusional thought of us getting a receiver. Sure they sprang for Cutty and Peppers last year but they have NEVER been willing to spend the big bucks on WR. The fact that a rookie was our #1 receiver and didnt break 1000 yards and our RB was our #2 receiver the need is obviously glaring..but the purse strings are tight.. Sadly I think last year may have been an aberration.

  • Sac, they signed Moose for big money and I think that soured them on Big Money WR's for the rest of JA's career with the Bears.

  • 18 pack of brew and I'll fuck Nancy grace. Yea man!
    I personally think we need a new CB cromartie yes! And get that WR Rice yes!

  • In reply to DHESTER23:

    Fres, if I drank that much there's no way I could do her. It would be like pushing a rope uphill.

  • When will they fix this stood format? I lost my handle, and now I gotta read from bottom to top! Oh and the pics look blurry. #chicagonow sucks

  • In reply to DHESTER23:


  • In reply to DHESTER23:


  • this site is $#@%$!#$#@!%$#!$#! WITH THE NEW FORMAT!

  • Crown.. was she pregnant before hand?

  • I think the coach might just be the Chupacabra:

    "I rough-talked him and rund him oawf"

  • ...that's called an alley abortion Erik.

  • They've officially gone hollywood on us.

    I think this may be my last EMT post:


  • Dear Jimmy Greenfield aka The Travelocity Gnome:

    I wish to send you and all the CN developers a virtual kick in your tiny nutsack. CN sucks. Thank you.


  • Ha! Nice metaphor, Canada.

  • Canada,

    My buddy and I are doing a bicycle/backpacking trip on the San Juan Islands this weekend. Two nights, Take a ferry to the island, ride for 15 miles, hike up Mt. Constitution where, apparently, one can see up to Canada and down to the great state of Oregon. Camp on the coast. Should be a serious good time. You ever done Cycle-Oregon? Too far for my blood. I'd generally prefer to mountain bike, but Cycle Oregon always sounded like fun and I hear it's pretty awesome.

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Hey Doc, I'm doing Cycle Oregon this year. I did it 2 years ago, also. It's the best organized big ride (2.200 riders) I've ever done. It's almost too organized. They are very safety conscious and at times it seems a little over the top. The food is great and you don't wait in line very long. Every night they have a band and a beer garden. They try to use local micro brews and local wines. The volunteers are great. It sold out in 2 days this year. They usually open registration in Feb. I'll let you know how it went when I get back.

    I'm also doing a week long ride in Idaho. That one is 350 riders.

    I haven't done it since the mid '90's but RAGBRAI in Iowa is 10,000-15,000 riders. It's totally nuts. When I used to ride it in the '80's we'd get hammered every night. I don't think it's as crazy now but I'm guessing it's still fun. That one is so big you wait in line all the time. Unless you have no patience it's not a big deal. There is always something to look at or laugh at (seeing women doing naked beer slides never gets old). If you do any of these rides bring earplugs for sleeping (esp RAGBRAI).

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Ragbrai coming through Davenport this year same time as the Bix; it is going to be absolutely huge.

  • In reply to Urlacher FTW:

    Gotta love RAGBRAI. Bix Fest, not so much. Dixieland music for the geriatric set. Last I knew the Fest drew about 1,500/day. The running race brings in a ton of people but they don't seem to mix with anyone but other runners. Usually RAGBRAI people are in a big rush to get home. It could be a huge party but I'm guessing it will mostly be a lot of people that don't interact with each other.

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Doc, the trip sounds awesome. My hiking days are pretty much over due to crappy knees, too old, too fat. I'm fine going uphill but going downhill kills my knees. Oh well. Let me know how the trip went. Love camping and being outdoors.

  • @ Canada man beer can make any chick doable. 18 pack though does sound rough. @ gp +1 on that! @Canada again like the comment bigger and uglier ones, I know tht feeling! Lol

  • In reply to DHESTER23:

    Fres, that you mang? When you're logged in, scroll up to the very top and click on DHESTER23, then 'Account Settings' will apppear and you can just change your nickname in there..

    Thanks to whoever suggested 'You can't always get what you want' by Sam Cutler (ex-manager for the Stones/Grateful Dead), just reading it now. Doc? Good stuff. Makes me miss shrooms.

    And thanks to whoever mentioned Louis CK. I have become Louis CK.

    Has the season started yet?

    Hey Lobo.

  • In reply to IrishSweetness:

    Haven't read it Irish. Good read so far?

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Great read. Especially for a Floyd fan because the guy hung out with Mason and Waters back in the day and there's plenty of stuff on them, Syd's sad weirdness etc. and losing his mind. It's really well written and has all the behind-the-scenes stuff of the Sixties scene in Britain, I guess London was a small place once you were in the industry. Everybody knew everybody else - it's weird how a blues guy like Alexis Korner connected all the dots. He was the one degree of separation between all the great blues/rock acts. I haven't gotten to the San Fran/Dead scene yet, but it's just great stuff regardless of what you think of the bands. A great exciting time to be alive and young.

  • In reply to IrishSweetness:

    Irish, I read Apathy for the Devil by Nick Kent recently. Same type of book but it was during the '70's. Lots of stuff about the Stones, Iggy Pop, Sex Pistols, etc. It was good but not great.

  • Okay so, we've all bitched about the site, and we've been told the fixes are coming. Here's what I can't wrap my mind around. What is the rationale or motive behind the change in the first place? Is it the fact that the other blogs now receive more pub? Ad dollars? Is there some improvement that I can't see? Any chance The Gnome wants to shed some light on this?

    And if they do upgrade by installing embedded threading, with the current room allotted to posts, the embedded thread will be one word wide after about 5 replies (a slow day). So how's this going to work?


  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    The thing that pisses me off the
    Most doc is reading from bottom to top. It's fustrating man!

  • Sign Plax and Sidney Rice? This front office doesn't have the ballsack..

  • Random thoughts:
    I agree with Jeff, resign as many players as possible. We got to the Championship game with "luck", but you make your own "luck". Special Teams get so overlooked by most teams. Think Jets and first Packers game last year. Plus the D was solid all year (minus Jets game). Martz needs to run the damn ball more and make it part of the offense's identity. This strategy slows down the pass rush and also keeps our defense fast and ready to go. I might be wrong, but I thought our D had the most 3 and outs of any D last year. It can be a winning strategy again this year.

    Why all the obsession with WR? Brandon Lloyd was the top receiver last year and it didn't do shit for Denver. What is a #1 receiver? Johnny Knox was 21 in the league last year in receiving yards, out of 32 teams. Knox and Bennett have both played only two years and in two different systems. I see big strides this year. There's only a few "#1's" in the league. Martz needs to design more pass plays for Forte and Blondie. When Roger Craig was catching lots of first down passes, it made Jerry Rice better. Why all the love for Santonio Holmes? He had one more catch than Knox last year and close to 200 yards less receiving. Interior OL is the bigger need. Left guard should be top priority.

    Sadly, I think Maynard is done, and we have to resign AA. That stupid Packer punter did great negating Hester the last two meetings.

    The US Woman's World Cup victory against Brazil was epic.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Endo, Holmes was suspended the first four games and had Sanchez throwing to him. We have Cutty and Knox played for a whole season. But your point has some merit. What I hate about Knox is he doesn't fight for the ball and doesn't block. Plus, he's one play away from a wheelchair at his size. Holmes made the game winning catch in the biggest game of them all. No comparison.

    Irish, I'm a fan of them all. I'll definitely check it out.

  • In reply to Doc Nitty 34:

    Correction...Cor. Or shall I say, the blogger formerly known as...

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Good points,Cor. Either the Fudgies punter was lucky against us (twice) or he's the greatest punter, ever. I can't imagine he could do that again. Of course, I said the same thing after the 1st game.

    I'm hoping Martz has his ego in check this year and calls a balanced attack from the beginning of the season. He's such a stubborn fucker. It wasn't until Lovie and Tice threatened him with great bodily harm during the bye week, that he got the message. It's not like any other team is clamoring for the services of the OC of the 30th ranked offense in the league.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    Somebody say that was you Cor?

    My definition of a #1 WR is a go-to guy. A guy that gets open and doesn't make mistakes, a guy that has the x factor. That guy we do not have. I know Earl Bennett seems to get a few people hard, but he's a serviceable slot receiver, nothing more. He can play, therefore he can stay. But I'm not sold on Knox. Ho for show. He's fast. Lots of people are fast. But when you make mistakes as often as he does it turns into interceptions and a shitty offense, which turns int0 a tired defense. You muck up two phases right there because you're in the wrong place most of the time. Knox *might* get it together with the playbook, but he's not going to get bigger, stronger, or smarter - he's bench material/kick off returner. Hester has some upside, and he'd better for the coin we're paying him, but he's been a WR for five minutes. There's a big difference between a third year receiver who's just converted from another position/role and a guy who's played the position his whole life ... and going into his third year or whatever. So I'd say we definitely need a #1 receiver. I'm trying to think of teams that don't have one, and the ones that don't have a bona fide stud at wideout, have at least a few guys who are pretty good e.g. the Giants. We have a serviceable slot guy and the GRMOAT. No one to stretch the field though (the occasional contribution from Mr. Olsen aside, and Kellen Davis, when they can be arsed to send him on the field). Guards we got. Levi Horn, Asiata, Louis, are all improving like good red wines. Big wideout guy we don't have. It's what kept us from sealing the deal against GB last season. At least if we could take Jones away from them ... that'd be something. Make them a little weaker, us a little stronger.

  • In reply to IrishSweetness:

    Sometimes Irish... I just smh mang... I thought we were on the same page.

    "Big wideout guy we don't have. It's what kept us from sealing the deal against GB last season"

    I humbly submit to you evidence to prove that statement absolutely wrong:

    Lack of an even fucking serviceable oline is the one single thing that sealed the deal for us last year… and will do so again this year if not fixed lad.


    Right lobo?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Oh, for sure we need an O-line MB, absofuckinglutely. Every Bear fan and staff member are in agreement on that one. But where there is difference of opinion amongst Bear folk is whether or not we need to splash out on a named receiver. I definitely think we need help, though the size of the name isn't as important to me as the size of the receiver. Nothing shy of 6'4 please. This is the NFL. Everyone else has one. Please.

  • Thank you for some VOR (Voice of Reason) Cor. Well put. Our current set of WRs HAS to get better this year, and Martz better have a more balanced attack plan ready with some time and space between him and last season. Now think about just how much better if we added two real guards to our line.... and maybe a tackle.

    I submit to you all that if we had received the draft I asked for (RD1: BJ, RD2: Franklin, RD3: Moffitt) we would already be in a MUCH better position. Add a solid guard and a tackle in FA once it starts and we are pretty much set at oline for the foreseeable future with young, strong talent.

    We can start addressing all of the other needs (MLB, FS, CB, DT) next year, but what we have/had at those positions got us to the title game... yet without a solid oline, we're going to have to have a shitload of injury luck again this year... especially our be-double chinned poorboy cutty.

  • hey doc, I know it sucks... trust me I know... but here's a bit of perspective for us all:

    I don't know about you guys, but that should be a death penalty case. Yikes!

  • And then suddenly the clouds parted and a single ray of sunshine brought light where there had been darkness.

  • Maaaakin frieeeeends:

  • Let's have a Cutty love-in for a moment. Hold hands, take a knee.

    Madden talking Cutler (this is sweet) :

    Jay Cutler Highlights 2010-2011 :

    But let's get him a nice new toy to play with!

  • In reply to IrishSweetness:

    Hell Yes, John Madden. Sing it from the rooftops. Fuck the haters.

  • Doc- good point about Knox. I know a lot of people like the guy and he's serviceable but he just gave away a few picks last year. never faught for the ball or even tried to get inside positioning. Lets hope my prediction of a WRless off season is false.

  • Dez says he thinks he's likely gone. I agree. Some team will pick him up and he will contribute immediately. ManofMoohlah better be running up Mountians in Hawaii right now and not chowing cans of spam. He better of lost 10 pounds at least. He showed slower feet than any guard or tackle that lined up last year.

  • Free-agent wide receiver Plaxico Burress(notes) is thinking that he would look good in a Chicago Bears uniform. He told WMVP in Chicago Tuesday that the Bears are one of the top three teams he'd like to play for after his two-year NFL hiatus while in prison, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.

    But multiple sources have told the paper "the team would be interested in the former New York Giants star only at a bargain price, if at all."

    Burress, of course, was arrested after he shot himself in the leg in a New York nightclub as his gun slipped down his pants.

    What are you waiting for? Follow Scoop du Jour on Twitter or Facebook.

    Source: Chicago Sun-Times

  • The Bears are coming as close to a team gets as being able to go on that dream shopping spree. With the proposed salary cap limits for 2011, the Bears have a lot of money to spend, and even have tons more than their NFC North friends. Behold:

    Bears: $37 million
    Lions: $16.5 million
    Packers: $62,000
    Vikings: $5 million over

    Basically, if the NFC North were a bunch of friends shopping, the Bears are the team everyone hates because Jerry Angelo has his dad's American Express, while the Lions are on a budget, and the Packers and Vikings are just browsing. In fact, the Vikings are just there to return that sweater that was a mistake.


  • Erik, too bad for us the guy wielding the AmEx is a complete fucking buffoon to the nth degree.

    One more time... the guy can pick up the #1 FA everyone wants, but he can't do something like pick a diamond in the rough like Arian Foster out of the detritus.

    Crown, I shed a tear. And you know Moofa is fucking scarfing down spam and mac n cheese samiches like their going out of style while practicing his route... on madden '11… from his structurally reinforced lazyboy.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    "...from his structurally reinforced lazy boy..." - priceless, MB.

  • btw, knox is a pretty damn good receiver... I think knoxing (get it?) him after just two years in two different systems is premature.

    Yeah he's a fucking thin little bitch who gets owned by CBs and safeties on an every game basis, and he was the direct cause of at least 2 picks that I saw last year… but, he's also made some damn insane plays. He's got moves, speed, and can and does get open for HUGE plays...

    That said, I think a lot of that IS because we don’t have a true go-to WR. He doesn’t even have to be a 6’4” 225+ guy (although if we’re going to get a true #1, that’s the frame I personally want), but even a guy like holmes who’s 5’11” and a beast is fine. The problem was that Knox CAN’T be a true #1 because he is too small and he gets abused for picks. If he becomes the big play guy or the always open guy once you get a true #1, that’s what he should be.

    So I don’t really think it’s his fault, he’s just being crowbarred into a position that doesn’t really fit… and cutty had to try and force him into that spot.

    All of THAT said… I would much rather sure up the oline only in FA if we only pick 2 or even 3 guys. Gotta fix the line. Fix the line and by proxy all of our WRs get better.

  • You guys gotta play NBA 2k11. They motion captured Jordan and Pippen perfectly. They have the Isiah Pistons, the mark Price led Cavs, the Ewing Knicks and other late 80 early 90 NBA great teams in there, each with MOST of the players done perfectly. It's like watching TV where you control the people.

    I just love dunking as Pippen. I run over to the virtual Jay Mariotti and give him the finger.

  • I, for one, want to know why the fuck I haven't seen Crown over here yet:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    GP, can I be honest... I read that yesterday and I was scared to leave a comment. That chick was frightening.

    I was at the very least expecting Will to be there.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Just started reading her blog today. My thing with blogs like that, those that talk about ho-ing or vaginal crusades is I want photos. A lot of milfs on CN show us their face...hell, JennyMilk basically shows us her tits. The girl could be anybody, i.e. some manbear dude.

  • In reply to gwill:

    Good point will... probably some fat hairy packer fan.

    …Wait, I guess that was redundant.

  • In reply to gwill:

    I doubt Jenny "Milkin it" is using her real face..

  • Jerry Angelo does indeed have a vagina Joseph and Lovies even got a BIGGER one!

  • Why did Plaxico Burress go to jail? Didn't he shoot himself? Why should someone go to jail for hurting no one's person or property. The only person injured was Plaxico. He harmed nobody, therefore he is not a threat to society.

    Just a heads up, if your ever in San Bernadino County, don't blow a stop sign, because the police might kill you with no repercussions.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    NYC has a law for mandatory jail time if you get caught dishcarging a gun and don't have a permit for said gun. I understand the intent of the law but it seemed like he got 2 years in jail for being a dumb ass. He was wearing designer sweat pants and the gun started migrating towards the floor. Either he didn't have the safety on or his weiner took the safety off. When he reached in his drawers the gun went off. Talk about a dong shot!

  • Vaginas are nice things, Fres, personally. I see Angela as more of a landscape of assholes and open sores, a demon sent here to lower the standards of my Bears and to show us beyond a shadow of a doubt that life is not fair and just, that the meek do not inherit the Earth, and that good guys finish last.

    Nice find on the salary cap space, Artoo. At least we know that we couldn't even sign Asomugha if he was the only player we did move on. We could easily get a good receiver, a random dude, and an OT for that. The Pack already have their roster, they're sweet. Their GM will fill in the gaps because he knows his shit. The Lions will be roaring soon enough, but it looks like the Vikes could replace the Kitties as the NFC North whipping boys.

    MB, I guess Knox deserves to see out his contract at least. I hope he has the ability to improve ... a lot. He just plays more like Johnny Knoxville at the moment.

    GP, I tried to stay away .... I really did.

  • Did you guys read the story about James Harrison in Men's Health mag? What an idiot. Besides calling the commish every name in the book, he bitched about Big Ben and Mendenhall playing like crap in the SB. Harrison had 1 tackle in that game. I knew the guy was stupid when they won the SB ac ouple of years ago and he refused to go to the White House to meet Obama. His reason? If the other team had won they would have been invited. Huh? He's a good player but he just might be the dumbest guy in the league.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    But seriously, no mang, don't walk down the road that ends in a cliff.

    And James Harrison? Mang, the word tool doesn't do him justice. One does not need to be smart to make it in the NFL, it just helps.

  • Scared. Shitless.

  • fumble machine... hahahahahahha

  • that's not the question Erik... tthe question is, are her boobs real .

  • Jenny is trying to get on tv. She even says that on her blog, it's all a ploy to help her media career. Be a Fox news bimbo or something, that's her goal.

    She'd get more pub with a playboy shoot if she had the bod for it. As is, I think she's a 7 or 8 posing as a 10. No amount of youtube celebrity will help that.

    As for Jack, I believe that sycophant is our own Jack Lacan of Lance Briggs comic book fame and advanced age. He's probably some coot sitting in an air conditioned public library. Not worth the effort.

  • I just headed over there. She has a post up about chopping her husband's dick off. Jack has dutifully responded, being the good little douchebag he is.

    I kept expecting to see a Crown post asking her if she can deepthroat her man so she can get him at the root. Alas, it never came. <-- pun

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I saw that GP, thanks.


    Friends dont punch friends in the face.

  • Ahhh picnic day.... meeeeemoriiiiiies.

    Yeah, we did all kinds of stupid shit on picnic day. Fucking meatheads.

  • Jesus, GP that blog is so incredibly terrible. And that jack dude is such a pathetic fucking sycophant.

  • Name: James Harrison.

    Occupation: Professional "Tool".

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Agree Al, but if Pit wants to offload him on the cheap to us, I think I'd be damn ok with that.

    He may be a moron, but he's a badass moron.

  • Wow... your very own big brother:

    I'm sure the, you know, government is going to want to see your data.

  • CN is a weird place.

    I am over sticking up for Steve Dahl's wife on her blog:

    I feel bad for Steve. When I was a kid, he was big. Steve & Garry ruled. S&G pre-dated Howard Stern by years, and when Steve was drinking and wild, they were fucking funny as hell. They skewered the scene at the time, the banter with Chet Chitchat, or Bruce Wolf impersonating Chet Chitchat, and the real Coppick would come on - they would light up Les Grobstein. Mid 80s Chicago radio.

    Garry got married to some woman who started managing his career, and Steve didn't like that. Steve made a joke that Garry carrried around a paint shaker so he could shake the man-love out of women so they didn't get knocked up (he was drunk again) and that was the end of Garry. Now Garry is a baby Limbaugh on WGN, probably will never come back - and Steve is relegated to charging for podcasts. Damn.

    Even WXRT kind of sucks now that big radio (Clearchannel?) owns it. Old XRT would have played Government Mule. New XRT plays Wish you Were Here by Floyd as the "flashback" moment before getting onto some more Mumford and Sons or Dave Matthews.

    Oh well, enough kvetching by me. I'm getting old playing NBA 2K11 so I can punch virtual John Stockton in the face. Actually, you can't fight in 2K11, I just wish you could so I could punch Danny Ainge.

  • Little Greetings from Graceland:

    It was a little Wayne's World public access tv-ish, but it was great

  • Would any of you bone your wife's sister?

  • Would any of you bone your wife's sister?

    If you do, make sure she's a swallower. Lewinsky was a spitter and look what happened with that blue dress and evidence collection.

  • I love this blog. Sign in to see what's up, and there's my man. Go for it Fres. Why stop there? Just pop some pills and vodka and scratch out 'wife' from the sentence. Mwah!

  • Real talk Fres! I don't know, but ever since I got my girl the same perfume her mother wears, I've been more attracted to her.

  • Only if she is hot and not annoying.... Allright..

    where is everyone going to get onto Fres?!

    I don't remember my odd comment but I do remember everyong killing me for it lol

  • In reply to Artoo:

    Shit I can't type at work to save my life.

    When is everyone going to get onto Fres!

    Dude, is she at least hot?

  • Hey how come the links don't work anymore...did we lose those too?

  • Lol u guys are funny.

  • best things about downtown Chicago in the summer:

    1. hot 20-somethings spilling out of fitted dress shirts and tight business skirts with heels.scurrying to their "marketing" positions.
    2. hot 20-somethings spilling out of sundresses and jean shorts/tank tops with sandals and heels scurrying to local watering holes to "lunch" with other hot 20-somethings with meaningless jobs.

    Football related:
    "The players were taken to the woodshed"
    -Hub Arkush

  • will, that you?

    Also, how fucking hilarious is this:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB, I had to change my name because when you see the format of the CBA in it's final form you wonder why this whole shitstorm wasn't over 2 months ago.

    Smith was in so far over his head that even though the owners were dead wrong he managed to stick his penis in the whole situation and fuck it all to hell.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    No, not me.

    Still gwill.

    Instead of saying "hot 20-somethings," I would have said "hot 18 and 19 year olds."

    Don't know who the pimphat chronicles is.

  • I was thinking of boycotting this site until they make the proper changes, but I love you guys too much lol

    Fres, don't do it! No matter how hot the sis is - ur life will turn into a Jerry Springer Episode. Unless they're both into it, in which case, I hate you.

    But that shit only happens in the porn world, sadly.

  • One good thing to happen due to this lock-out is that the Bears official homepage is presenting brief bios of our HOFs, which is cool cuz I'm not exactly an expert of some of those old school ones, like Jim Finks, Stan Jones, Danny Fortmann.

    It is also dawned on me that being named "George" on the Bears is a good omen. Here are some of the Bears HOFs with that name: George Musso, George McAffee, George Halas, Bill George, George Conners...maybe Papa blesses Georges from Bear Heaven.

    Speaking of divinity, here's some Sweetness to get us over this lock-out.

    I'm not thrilled about Payton being 5th best all time, he should at least be top 3, with only Rice and Brown in the conversation. I do however love that Brown introduced Sweetness - perfect. And when Jim Brown calls you an "animal", that's saying something.

  • Oh My God. When will it stop? The answer as fucking always is NO:

  • Stunning I say, absolutely stunning:

    After some deep thought I have decided that if the league makes us play the Hall of Fame game this year they truly don't want the Bears to do well because at least 5 people will go down hurt in that game due to no offseason football training. I wouldn't want a starter to even sniff the field. We should make it the Fantusz, Enderle, Freddy Barnes show.

  • Yo Pimpz,

    Where did Arkush say that the players got taken to the woodshed? His radio show?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    GP - he said it on the Score yesterday. He admitted that the deal ultimately is not terrible but that Smith was in way over his head and probably didn't do the players any real special justice since the owners didn't give up very much at all and pretty much got everything they wanted. he also said that the final form of the CBA will probably be something that could have been negotiated weeks if not months ago.

    I'm just happy that it looks like at least some of the issues are being addressed and that it looks like football will be played with both sides getting some benefit which means we probably won't have to deal with this shit again for a long time.

  • Ahhh... johnny.

    Got it.

    Have fun doc. We love you maaaaaan.

  • Do I hear a 17?

    Off for adventures on the San Juan Islands for the weekend. Have fun talking non-football without me!

    I love you all, very very much. (in case I don't make it back (joke)).

  • You know, Harrison might not be running for any popularity contests, but I'm kinda glad he's at least expressing his views - his true views - under owner sock-puppet Goodell, and I can't help but feel that he's speaking for a lot of players (and fans) when it comes to some things. Here's some juicy quotes from his Men's Health interview.

    “My rep is James Harrison, mean son of a bitch who loves hitting the hell out of people. But up until last year, there was no word of me being dirty — till Roger Goodell, who’s a crook and a puppet, said I was the dirtiest player in the league. If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it. I hate him and will never respect him.”

    “I should have another ring. We were the best team in football in 2004, but the Patriots, who we beat during the regular season, stole our signals and picked up 90 percent of our blitzes [in the AFC title game]. They got busted for it later, but, hey, they’re Goodell’s boys, so he slapped ‘em $500,000 and burned the tapes. Was he going to rescind their Super Bowls? Man, hell no!”

    "He’s just getting started on the Pats. “I hate those motherfuckers,” he says, “especially those two clowns who talked about me after the fines.” He’s referring to Rodney Harrison, the ex-Patriot turned analyst on NBC’s Sunday Night Football, and Tedy Bruschi, another former Pat who appears on ESPN. “Sayin’ I’m dirty — shit, Harrison was the dirtiest player ever, a steroid cheater who was known by the whole world to be a headhunter and late hitter. And Bruschi’s an idiot, straight-up simple. I’d like to meet them both in a dark alley.”

    "That is why he still boils over losing to Green Bay in last year’s Super Bowl: He wanted so badly to mount the postgame podium, snatch the trophy from Roger Goodell, and tell him to his face, on national TV, exactly where to stick those fines. “I’d have whispered in his ear, ‘Why don’t you quit and do something else, like start your own league in flag football?’ ”

    "he was made to watch a reel of his questionable hits plucked from four years as a starter. “They take 10 plays out of 4,000 snaps and want to know my thought process on each,” he says. “What I tried to explain to Goodell, but he was too stupid to understand, is that dudes crouch when you go to hit them. With Massaquoi, my target area was his waist and chest, but he lowered himself at the last possible second and I couldn’t adjust to his adjustment. But Goodell, who’s a devil, ain’t hearing that. Where’s the damn discretion, the common sense?”

    "But then, without prompting, he’ll turn on a dime and offer a sober plank on player safety, saying the league should trim the season to 14 games, begin off-season training activities in May, not March, and cut training camp down to just a couple of weeks of one-a-day practices, not two. That way, he says, “we’re not bangin’ heads so much in August; that’s where the brain trauma comes from.”

  • I want a James Harrison Tshirt that says "keepin it real mothafucka!"
    I'm behind this dude whole heartedly. I feel almost te same way about Goodell, and Ben rothlisberger is a douchebag so who cares. I hope this brings more players out of the shell and expose Goodell for what we fans see. This is football a real mans sports, pussies are not allowed. Goodell take a hike pussy!
    James Harrison gets my real mothafucka of the year award!

    @artoo? ???
    @Bears4ever good info bro!

  • Hey Fres, be careful with the wife's sister. My ex's sister was smoking hot and wild as hell when we were young. I never did anything but my ex never forgave me for lusting after her. If I had followed through I would have been divorced much sooner. On second thought, never mind!

    Can't say that I agree with ya about Harrison. He makes some good points but he's full of shit. He had one tackle in the SB and Chad Clifton owned him the entire game. He kind of forgets to mention that during his rants. I don't really care about Goodell but Harrison seems to have a convenient excuse for everything. We've all been around people like him. Nothing is ever their fault and they are quick to point the finger when something goes wrong.

    After this interview I'm guessing Goodell will nail him the first chance he gets. Not to mention, when they did win the SB he didn't go to the White House because the prez would have invited the other team if they had won. That's some really poor analytical skills on display.

  • I want a James Harrison Tshirt that says "keepin it real mothafucka!"

    Hell yeah! Now that's a Tshirt I'd buy. James Harrison with two guns in the front with "keepin it real, mothafucka!" above that image, and in the back, him pissing on Roger Goodell, Billicheat, and throw in Jerry Jones for good measure lol In between his rants, he makes valid points. I may not agree with him on everything, but it's refreshing to hear someone actually not be PC. But, it's shortlived. Harrison already "apologized" for being so "candid", so enjoy it while you can. Here's the link to the entire interview:

  • Am I the only one the feels like a cleaning house a little bit is the best idea? I feel as if the most crippling financial breakthrough the owners will get out of this deal is the rookie wage scale.

    I think we had alot of good team players that came together to get the job done. But I felt throughout the season in my gut of guts that THAT team just didn't have all the right pieces to get to the Super Bowl, rather win it. No names came up big for the Packers in the Super Bowl against Pittsburgh, but their key players beat us down. That must be our model for next season. Building a team to beat our arch-nemesis.

  • THOR HUSOVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

  • In reply to Norwegian Bear:

    Nice job by Thor yesterday. I actually felt bad for Roy. Thor and Moncoutie passed him like he was standing still. Hitting the wall that close to the finish must be really disappointing. I'm loving Voeckler. It's too bad Contador is off form. He's the only one of the Big Boys that will animate the race. The Schleck's have the best team and a 1-2 punch and they cry like babies because everyone is marking their moves. Too bad! Grow a pair. I've never liked Evans. Total prima donna and a cry baby. Not to mention all he does is follow wheels and hope to win the TT. I understand that's a smart strategy but it's really negative racing. Oh well. Hope Voeckler can hang on and finish on the podium.

    Did you see Voigt tell the cameraman to fuck off after the second crash? That was great. Gotta love Jens!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Voeckler is definitely my favorite French rider in the TDF. Brings back some awesome memory’s from the last time he had the yellow jersey in 200? And I love that he tries to speak English, somehow he seems like a down to earth guy. To me it’s not a big surprise that Contador is off form, what can you expect when he also did compete in the giro this year. I think it’s almost impossible to do it good in both races. And it’s been way to much back and forth with the drug use acclaims. So I can’t see myself ever pulling for him to win. It just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when I see him or hear him talk.

    I really don’t have a problem with the schlecks, but then again I haven’t heard they complain about that other riders have been marking there moves. I get that riders come off grumpy after 6 hours on the bike seat. Remember Cadel Evens and his dog a few years ago? Evens looks much more comfortable this year, he also have started to joke a bit with the reporters. But like you, I find myself cheering for the underdog in Voeckler.

    And I just got love and admiration for Voigt. What a guy! Father to 6 or 7, and the oldest in the race. He got fantastic humor and some epic temper. I remember some years ago when he got pissed off at the camera man when they tried to film while he was taking a piss =)

  • Dont do it Fres. Take it form a man with experience. Even if it's good it'll be all bad. And if you two do finally split and you end up with the sister..oy it's a nightmare.

  • Go back to old threads and read. I said the players would get rolled, the owners would win and get most of what they wanted - and that nobody wanted to face down those anti-trust issues because of what they stand for.

  • Ice cream and pro wrasslin... OH YEAH!!!

  • Phew... thank god there's a real bears football blog on CN covering real football issues.

    Hart hitting blogerism I say... impressive even.

  • I hear Canada on your points. I just like when guys come out of the shell and talk shit. Just amusing

  • oh, and while I was on the Men's Health site, I came across a darkly fascinating Dave Duerson piece, which kinda ties everything together - Harrison, Safety Issue, Owners, Union, Lock-out, the nature of football and man. It doesn't exactly paint Duerson as a "martyr", reminding everyone that the very illness which he suffered from, he practically inflicted on others by denying them health care coverage. It's Shakespearean - a must read.

  • In reply to 4ever85:

    Great article on Duerson.

  • mwaa ha ha ha ha ha! Just found out the fetus alien in my wife's stomach cavity is going to be a boy....not just a boy but a man. I will bestow upon him a regal name.

    Prince Nmandi Huutu Ndomakong Idonije Waffle the 2nd

    Loosely translated:

    Son of the King Chuck Cecil who, whilst using the crown of the helmet, shall destroy the quarterback foolish enough to drop seven steps and who will destroy, with the will of Allah, all infidel slot receivers who dare to conduct crossing routes in front of his person.

  • Dude, johnny!

    Congrats my man. About 21 months apart? Boy girl mang... it's going to be rough, but easier. Great combo though. Well done with the potent boy sperm!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    A friend of mine had 4 boys and finally had a girl. An old guy at work told him, to have a girl you have to blow the nuts off of them. Not sure of the science but it made me laugh.

  • Nice work....Congrats!

  • Congrats, Johnny. Well done.

  • A nice little write up on our boy Conte...check it out.

  • In reply to Joseph:

    Wow, we can only hope joe.

  • Congrats Waffle! I got two boys myself and they are ANIMALS which is a great thing! Enjoy the son! And may he be the next Urlacher.

  • The gravatar site is total bullshit. It says I can't use upper case letters, and that my name is already taken and you can never change your name. I guess I'll wait to they fix things.

    Nice Madden post Irish. People may call Cutler some things, but being a wuss is not one of them. He missed one game in four years, and that was after the brutal beating by the Giants last year. I personally didn't like the Cutler trade when it happened. I thought he was over-rated, but he's earned my respect.

    MB, how does this sound for a late night hearty snack before live music til bar time? Some Buzzard Eggs at Buzzard Billy's Flying Carp Cafe, a Cajun joint. 4 pieces of chicken stuffed with jalepenos and pepper jack cheese, wrapped in bacon with ranch dressing. mmm.

  • Click on your userrname on this page (top right) and change it in account settings, not through Gravatar. Should be sweet.

    I know we're all antsy about the football thing, but it's really small potatoes.
    It's hard watching all these debt talks in the U.S. right now - it affects all of us and not just you guys, it makes me so angry how they're screwing us all. Obama pretending he's angry at his minions for not sorting this out? Well, he's either the biggest dumbass on the planet or the greatest actor alive. You can't figure it out mang?

    1. The Gregg's commission report stated that every cent of your income tax paid is given straight to the Federal Reserve as interest repayments on 'that loan'.

    2. End the Federal Reserve system by writing your congressman.

    3. Close the Fed and the IRS gangsters can no longer collect the tax on income which is unconstitutional. The Supreme Court ruled that the sixteenth amendment made no provsion for taxes on wages and labor.

    If you love freedom, or the freedom you think you already have, and have 90 minutes to spare, then watch this interview with Aaron Russo.

    If you only have ten minutes to spare and you love being free and you love your family, then watch this excerpt where he talks about things his former friend Nick Rockefeller said to him as he tried to recruit him into the Council of Foreign Relations.

  • Two questions Mr. Obama.

    1. Why does the American government borrow money from the banks when they have the ability and constitutional right to create it themselves without paying interest?

    2. Why do no politicians ever raise this question?

  • Irish -

    My man. We love ya, dude. But this conspiracy stuff risks going full retard. And, as we know, never go full retard. Aaron Russo was dying of bladder cancer when that video was made, trying to hype his film. He was flat broke and somewhat desperate. Context, my main man, context.

    Take a look:

    Stay in the mainstream left with us. Remember the political spectrum is not a straight line, it's a ring. Go too far too the left and you wrap around to agreement with the tea party wacknuts, and that's not a pretty sight.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Yup, it's a football blog, and I'm sorry brothers, I am, really. I got so wound up again after watching that I had to tell someone and blow off steam. It was hilarious - I turned around to my partner and her niece and I'm pointing at Russo and the number of hits his film got, and going on about the number of hits Bieber's 'Baby' video got, and pointing at her niece, and I'm trying to explain that the sky is falling in ... and fkn Justin bieber ... and they're just sitting there looking at me like dogs who've just being shown a card trick and I realised nobody gives a fuck. And that's all on me.

    All I've got on TV is BBC or Fox news. BBC is boring. On Fox it's all about the debt, and Casey fkn Anthony in her pink party top and the squillions of dollars they'll spend protecting that bitch for the rest of her natural life. Let's hope that's not very long. The milk of human kindness is just flowing out of me today.

    Go USA girls, I'll try and stay up for that.

    The opium of football is indeed required. Not too long to the Canton game right? Bears maul Rams, right? This shit is all over by next week, right?

  • Pimphat is Johnny Waffle? Hey, congrats Johnny. I was at a baby shower yesterday, and a bunch of kids were playing, and periodically, a girl would come running to the adults crying. I was like, "Man, boys play rough." and then when we tried to investigate to see what happened, no one would talk! It's like "no snitching" is written into those little sucker'[s DNAs lol So we just told the girls to go pet the dogs or playhouse or something, but of course, they still wanted to play with the boys. Kids.

  • Cedric Benson has been arrested. Again

  • In reply to Joseph:


  • In reply to Joseph:

    Oh i must not have missed much... I mean Benson is still getting busted. Thats good

  • On the labor front, I have refrained from saying "it's gonna get done" as a lot of "experts" said that July 15 was an imaginary deadline, but from everything I've read, It's gonna get done next week.

    Nearly everything is agreed upon in principle, the rookie wage scale perhaps being the biggest hurdle, and both parties are just waiting for Magistrate Judge Boylan to get back from vacation and help finalize the deal Monday and Tuesday, with the lawyers likely cleaning up the details on Wednesday, the owners meeting on Thursday and voting, and hopefully by Fri an announcement is made that it's on after the weekend.

    Let's hope that's the way it unfolds.

    FA and the following weeks are gonna be a bonanza.

  • Oh and congrats, Waffle/Pimphat - I'm getting confused with everyone changing their handle on here. At least Artoo got with the program and realised his name was Artoo.

    Fres, did you tap that yet? Give it up mang, what's the dealie? Is she sending out signals, or is it just your Bad Johnson poking its one-eye out of its sock?

  • Good post Irish. I feel u on those issues. I post stuff like that all day on my Facebook page. YouTube obamas deception. Great video and check out or America will wake up, we just need someone to deliver us. Ron Paul for president. He will end the Fed

  • ... I blacked out... what happened? Has the season started yet?

  • Good job japanese women. They deserve it and their country needed it. I think that was a good outcome.

  • Btw... you guys see that direct tv is GIVING Sunday ticket away with normal service right now. Hmmmmm...


    Bowman on the corner blitz!!!!

    Watch the video. Little Madden 12 action. Like the fucking Vikes would line up shotgun no back formation....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    GP, didn't see it in any of the 3 videos.

    Also, here's more on benson... moron:

  • I met a gypsy barroom queen in Memphis. She tried to take me upstairs for a ride.

  • Yeah Fres, OD was a great flick - I love Ron Paul's older brother Wayne in that when he describes to people about how the Federal Reserve Act was slipped through. Powerful stuff. He's the only politician I like, I love how he always sticks it to Bernanke, and Geithner before him.

  • Yo, who said Shabba was gone? He's still on the roster. So is Unga. Yay!

  • In reply to IrishSweetness:

    If they're both still there after the end of next week Irish, then you can rejoice. I think they'll at least give unaga a shot on the greens before dumping...

    oh, wait... it is Jerry "I like to pick up and spend money on totally wasted fucking picks for absolutely nothing just to toss them away before even seeing them play much football at all" angelo.

    I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

  • In reply to IrishSweetness:

    Irish, we've been over this. He's only listed on the roster until the CBA is in place. Then he's an UFA the Bears have no intentions of re-signing. Unga is signed at least through this year. Nothing against Shabba but when the coaches would rather play Rashied you know your days are numbered.

  • Boys, i think they "redshirted" Unga and he will have real chance to make the squad this year. If Wolfe is gone and the competition for the 3rd running back is Kahlil Bell then I think he has a huge shot.ea

    Imagine for a moment the swagger that the offense would have with a WR signing, an Olineman and the proper and consistent use of Forte, Olsen. People talk shit all of the time about the Bears but no one can deny what we accomplished with the limited offensive tools. Purchase some new tools and let Cutler do his fucking job. Angelo and Ruskell, I'm fucking talking to you. You are setting Cutler up to fail and personally if i were him I would be reminding you privately every fucking day you don't bring some new talent in.

  • Looking forward to seeing Unga then, Kahlil Bell too. I don't know how they could cut Shabba given our weakness at the position, his highlight reel makes him look like a #1/#2. A reel of Knox's dropsies, blown routes and leaving Cutler out to dry might change people's impressions of him. Damn we're not so far away from actual football are we? And that means Fantasy, yes it does!

  • USA won the world American football championship 50-7 beating Canada - anyone care? Nobody even mentioned it. And Japan was third!


    Shocker that not a single Bear is on there save for one honorable mention. The only shocker is it was on O-line

  • You know the Bears have a ton of options in Free Agency when a Packers blog is concerned about it. It is common for homer fans to be blinded to the fact that other teams pose a real threat to their success. Most blog moderators are a little more balanced with their approach to fandom...

    The Bears have so much fucking cap room that it is all but certain that the OL and WR will be addressed in addition to re-signing key players from last years team that went 11-5 and made it to the NFC Championship team with a group of 2 and 3 receivers, no o-line and no gameplan for the 1st half of the year. This team, if coached in a semi coherent manner during the seattle and washington games, would have been 13-3. That is not luck. The Bears have solid players and talent at all positions. If Angelo does 50% of what he should during free agency we will dramatically improve. If he does 100% of what is required we create a wave of fear boners even in the most idiotic of packer hillbilly goat fuckers.

    1. OL
    2. WR
    3. OL

    Packers...DEAD (although those games will be fucking wars)

  • you heard it here first. the Cutler/Peppers effect means that angelo/ruskell will do whatever it takes to win NOW to ensure job security. If we know the window is closing then they certainly know it. Success is mandatory this year because of last years success. Angelo know that he is out the door if it doesn't happen so don't sweat Free Agency. It's gonna happen.

  • Shout out to DJ Moore's bro who was shot dead in the South this past week. Man, violence right now is off the charts. Some dude crashed his car into a parked car on my street and fled the scene yesterday. He must have been drunk as hell and limped off. Serious collission w/ air bags deployed and fronts off both cars mangled.

  • I'm winning the FFL this year boys. Last year I almost did it with a scrub team but this year I will be drafting.

  • GP, I think you are correct.

    Thus, I think we are trading to get a wideout.


    Oh yeah, totally not suspicious at all.

    Remind you of anything you've seen before:

    (how's that for a conspiracy theory Irish?)

  • Tee hee:

  • I don't mean to sound bitter guys, but when I've worked my ass to the bone and given up normal life for the past 5 years to make my business a success... then everywhere I look cheap hookers and everyday morons (think SteveO) are getting paid millions and millions of dollars for being... well, their idiotic selves, it just rubs me a bit raw. This fucking realityTV culture of ours is painful to live sometimes gents.

    Really? $10M for being a cheap, cheating, family-wrecking whore? Sweet, that’s a great life success lesson I can proudly teach my kids.

    Yeah, $10 million bucks. Just stop and think about that for a couple seconds. ten. million. dollars. Fucking ten… 10.

  • We should all get them something, don't you think:

    (this thing on btw? Hello?)

  • To see the Madden 12 action,


    Scroll down to Madden Mondays
    Click Week One on the toolbar
    Click the video in "See the play in action"

    Watch AP ignore the blitz
    Watch Ponder take a dirt nap via Bowman

    That should get the juices flowing

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Nice GP. Bow-MAN.

    Welcome to the NFL... bitch.

  • In reply to gpldan:


    Madden! Nickel Normal Sugar 2 Buzz - that's the bear blitz that annihilates Ponder. Man, makes me wonder if Madden actually investigates to get the true names of plays, or if they just generically name plays. I think I read somewhere that Antonio Gates actually played a lot of Madden to familiarize himself with an NFL playbook (since he came from basketball).

    Benson doing his best Rick James impression and bitch slapping everyone around him. What a douche. Why'd we get rid of Jones again? Oh yeah, Angelo's an idiot. What makes Benson an even bigger idiot is that he's an FA this year, and prob cost himself a few million. Nice job, moron.

    @MB I know, it's frustrating watching ppl like Snooky, Hilton, etc etc just have money heaped on them - but - fuck it. I would like to say that character is its own reward, but 10 mil would be nice.


    Ok, what should we get them? I liked the servers... so Jay can SERVE up some whoop-ass on the field, and then come home and get served some celebratory dinner? Beer mugs? What you guys got?

    ...yeah, it's cool... I'm holding this bitch up today.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    First off let me just say that the fact that this site hasn't been fixed yet is fucking laughable.
    Secondly MB, i followed your link and enjoyed the article but my eye kept wandering to the top of the webpage where the word "swimsuit" was just sitting there looking lonely. I used my mouse to wander over to the link and found this and it made everything seem right.

  • Hey Johnny, MB and I already had a serious discussion about Kate. I read somewhere that she used to be a lingerie model for Guess. Probably should investigate that a little further. I'm still totally down with Keeley Hazell, but Kate could get you by until Keeley showed up.

  • Yet another item from the "Tool" chest...,0,177588.story

  • Oh what will the Bears do with the logjam at TE? Will Kellen Davis step-up this year? Will Greg Olsen ever break a tackle? Can Dez Clark still be effective? Does Manumanimula have any cartilage left in his knee? These questions need to be answered at some point this year

  • In reply to Joseph:

    Joseph, I'm pretty sure Dez is not coming back. Good points about the other 3.

  • Don’t get me started Johnny. Just yow man… fucking YOW!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Over 2 weeks since we were told threaded posts would be the number one priority to fix.

  • Irish, I gotta agree with you on some of your past posts. I'm a big Ron Paul fan. I can't believe people don't understand the deficit and debt peril upon us, and how much long term damage it is going to cause. You can't spend the equivalent of $100,000 a year and make about $60,000 a year, and do it over and over again without any long-term repercussions. At current spending rates, we'll be paying a trillion dollars a year in taxes by 2020 just on interest on the debt. At that point, SS, Medicare, and Medicaid will have to be cut drastically.

  • In reply to TheFifth:

    If they don't cut the shit out of the giveaway's in foriegn policy, subsidies to the oil companies, get out of Iraq and Afghanistan, cut the Homeland security budget, raise the taxes on people making 250 k+ and cut about a jillion other subsidies, the US is fucked for sure.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Canada, I have very few crushes because my wife is hot (not ringing my own bell, she just is), but KU is just off the charts man... especially when you see her walk.

    And yeah, I always tell one of my buds who's a tea party guy that if they gave me a month alone with the federal budget I would be able to cut jillions of dollars (yes, literally ba-jillions). If you aren't getting fucking kickbacks one way or another from all of these fucking special interest groups, huge companies, and have zero affiliation and nothing to gain from giving them money/support/power, etc... etc... there have to literally be billions and billions in low hanging fruit that can easily be cut without impacting a single fucking important thing but those SP groups/PACs/etc... pockets.

    I’ve always said that it really doesn’t matter what fucking bozo from which party becomes the façade of the regime… it’s the fucking machine that needs a total overhaul. And telling me that we could be Angola won’t help, our system, although the best place on the planet, is still broken. Remove all special interests from the equation with the (correct) vigor that we’ve separated church and state and the system will begin functioning on common sense and logic. You can’t run today’s government on premises put forth hundreds of years ago when every single thing was different.

    Anyway, can we please have football now? None of this will matter in 17 months, so we might as well enjoy it now before we all implode into a fiery ball Mayan-style.

  • Fresno... you can't no chance this year in FF. Sorry son

  • Yahoo! Sports has learned through multiple sources that the agents for wide receiver Vincent Jackson(notes) and guard Logan Mankins(notes) have requested that their players either become unrestricted free agents when the lockout is over or that they receive $10 million each as part of the settlement

    Jerry, Ahem, your guard and wideout..

  • In reply to Artoo:

    Erik, fuckin a... I'll take those two, but they'll be much more expensive than even our cap allows. I'd go Mankins and a lower tone guy... maybe a guy like M.floyd if he's available.


    Looks like we may have football by the end of the week gents! We'll hardly know what to do with ourselves.

    Then I get to post less shit like this (atta boy Jay!): (think the dude in the second pic is gay... not that there's anything wrong with that)

  • Ok, last one for a while...

    I get it, but on your fucking neck dude... really? your fucking neck???? reeeaaally?????

  • Jeff, i need a fix mang. Make some shit up if you have to. Corey Graham arrested for being a pimp...Cullen Jenkins secretly agrees to FA contract with Bears but will only be paid in Drank...Bears in negotiations to sign the entire Atlanta Falcons offensive line in free agency...Rodgers admits to being gay, actually just acting gay...

    Oh my god football i need you to start.

  • Maybe this will hold you over Johnny:

    Damn, that modified fully auto Glock is scary. Didn't even know you could do that to a handgun. I do know that it's illegal in most states.

  • Fres - I nearly LOLed when I saw that you'd actually be drafting this year. It helps, it really does :o) Yeah, can't wait for some FF. I might play for cash this year.

    Waffle - I certainly hope Angelo is allowed to continue trying to buy his way out of trouble. Sadly our cap space doesn't cover Asomugha, but Cromartie, a 6'4+ receiver and an OT would allow me to reholster my pistol.

    MB - I hear ya man, life just isn't fair. And speaking of that Steve-O douche, ever see him on the Tom GReen shoe YT clip? I like neither, but seriously, he's taking nitrous oxide live on TV seven sheets to the wind. He'll be following Mr. Dunn to the grave before long methinks.

    Fifth/Cor - I'm thinking about you all, mang. I'd be mad to the point of getting on some list I don't want to be on if I was living over there, I don't see anything short of a revolution being effective. Even Ron Paul doesn't go far enough - he should appear in an 'End the Federal Reserve scam' t-shirt everytime he's on TV if he meant it. All of these goons I see on Fox going "blah blah blah debt" and NOBODY mentioning the fact that the government is letting the banks control the supply of money is just bewildering. And have you seen these two botoxed, plastic-titted barbie-doll bitches that get to answer the questions of the day ?? And I don't mean Bachmann/Palin. Unbelievable. Throw in Romney and I guess the Republicans have decided to keep Obama in for the next four years because they know the shit's going to hit the fan when people in Wisconsin realise the country's broke. The sooner people realise it's been broke since 1913 the better ....

    Can you smell the Football ...?

    And when are Epic Mealtime just going to fess up and call it The Bacon Show sponsored by Jack Daniels. Damn, I'll bet they do get sponsored by Jack Daniels .....

  • And that would be the Tom Green SHOW as his foot apparel is probably as uninteresting as ...uh ... him. Reminds me of the other clip on there where he has to suck up to Dice-Clay. There's another waste of oxygen who made millions of dollars, MB .....

    You guys got anymore good comics for me BTW ?

    Checked out Louis CK. Good for my age-group and other folk who have negative balance bank accounts and whose banks write to us telling us we don't have enough money. Fkrs.

    Mitch Hedberg - dead.

    Dane Cook - I knew he'd suck once I saw he had stadium status. He lasted about 90 seconds ...

    I think I'm all done for Mickey Rourke interviews now. I OD'd.

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