A Poem For Draft Day

A Poem For Draft Day

When the evening finds us at pick twenty-nine
Select then a player for the offensive line

As pressure does mount, these choices seem hard
So find thee a tackle, a center, or guard

For Kreutz hath been the roots of this unit since Dick
But Olin's now rollin' to the retirement shtick.
7-3's a mountain, either a mountain or hill
But a mountain's no good with no position to fill

The young kid from Vandy hath not been so dandy
Moving around like a beagle in heat
Frank often stank though the pundits thought him handy
I saw him struggle to keep 6 on his feet

Roberto.
Does anybody ever write about Roberto?

So when the evening finds us at pick twenty-nine
Select then a player for the offensive line

Austin the Tarheel, that wideout from Pitt
May be great players, may be the shit
But one thing's for certain, or I could be insaney
Without offensive linemen
Get used to Caleb Hanie

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Tags: Chicago Bears

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  • Ladies and gentlemen, Da Bard of Da Bears.

  • Da Bears need a pick to start right away.
    Who made da suggestion we draft Steve Paea?

  • Very nice Jeff. You lost focus in the middle stanza, but all around very solid.

    I must admit, I was kinda hoping for a haiku.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Nay sir. I circumnavigate the reader's expectations but altering rhyme schemes mid-form.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    And when the hell did this haiku stuff start? Hipster poetry. It's poetry for people who can't rhyme.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    excuse me sir!

    Did you miss the entire Haiku thread a few months ago? Aye, what fun you did miss! Actually, there were some really good ones, you should go back and read.

    So, you're taking a break from writing about elephant soccer in thailand (shout out to you Irish), to say hi to your original gang. very nice.

    So what's the over/under on Angelo taking either a DE or DB over an OL in rd's 1 and 2?

    Stop by more often won't you?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I always take a little hiatus right before free agency but with no free agency I extended that hiatus. Primarily because I don't care about any of the CBA stuff.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    I concur Jeff. Why is everyone talking D line and receiving corps? Get a freaking O lineman. The D line did t lose us any games last year. You certainly can't say the same ofthe O line. But that would mean Angelo would have to pull his head out of his ass for thus draft which Im not sure is medically possible at this point. It's just been up there too long.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Rage..Rage donot go gentle into to that good night:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTv1Dmu5CYc

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    JA make us proud bitch and get me my two guards!!!!

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    you want to see poetry? Check #4: http://insider.espn.go.com/nfl/draft2011/insider/news/story?id=6431939&action=login&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fnfl%2fdraft2011%2finsider%2fnews%2fstory%3fid%3d6431939

    "Dareus is a gifted penetrator"

    That would be a nice headstone sub-title for Crown.

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    here you guys go: http://sports.gunaxin.com/the-2011-nfl-draft-drinking-game/89338

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    also, a lot of people are projecting that we get Sherrod (if fucking angelo doesn't pull a fucking angelo and pick a 5'6" db project... again). Here's a pretty positive outlook on him:

    Derek Sherrod, OT, Mississippi State

    Another under-the-radar performer who caught a great buzz at the Senior Bowl, Sherrod may turn out to be the most immediately pro-ready tackle in this draft

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    the other shoe just may have dropped:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/27/nfl-lockout-2011-judge-denies-request_n_854737.html

    a side note found Goodfuckel in college:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNhD-NW_IXs&feature=related

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    http://espn.go.com/blog/nfcnorth/post/_/id/26379/final-argument-bears-in-no-mans-land

    Hello? Ummmm... is this thing on? It IS draft day today, right? Are all you guys watching royal wedding coverage instead?

    Looks like popular consensus has us taking:
    1. Sherrod (OT)
    2. Austin (DT)
    3. Baldwin (WR)
    4. Trading down to get a bunch of later round jerry special projects

    Hmmmm... what will Jerry do?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    not all of them... those are our supposed choices for rd 1. sorry, badly written post.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm hearing Danny Watkins also. I'm really confused why everyone is saying go o-line early and often. Isn't the draft an unknown. There are very few sure things in the draft. I say get the best player available in terms of need (which would be o-line, cb,D-tackle,WR). If there's an o-lineman that grades out lower than a first rounder and the Bears reach, I think that's just flat out dumb. There will be Free Agency eventually and I think the Bears can fill at least one or two of their o-line holes that way. Maybe not top tier talent, but who's to say the draft is going to bring in anything better. I'm starting to be in the camp of trading down and stock piling picks.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ugly slob says we get Baldwin

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/peter_king/04/28/nfl-draft-preview/

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    happy draft day beeyotches. Thought it was on last night and when it wasn't I watched The King's Speech. That was a solid movie with some spot on acting. Not as good as How to lose a guy in 10 days but solid nonetheless.

  • In reply to hollywood1:

    do you feel more cultured today?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I find the "f*ck, f*ck, F*ckity! (and so on and so forth)" part pretty invigorating.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Girly Thor shows up with Toejam, both locked out...

    http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nfl/news/story?id=6442809

  • In reply to gpldan:

    It's kinda weird when the lockout is literally getting locked out...

  • In reply to gpldan:

    It's gonna be this youngster...

    http://www.baylor.edu/content/imglib/125843.jpg

  • In reply to gpldan:

    One last mock draft, and it turns out to be the funniest one:

    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/2011-nfl-mock-draft-20110427

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Gabbert might become the next John Elway, but he'll always be "FLABBY GERBIL FART" to me.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    And I love the comment about Peterson...Isn't that kind of the important part about playing the position? Unless they think they're drafting the next Skunk?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    indeed

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Quick poll here, so there is no after-fact 2nd guessing:

    It's Bears turn. It comes down to Watkins at OG vs. Baldwin at WR.

    What do you do?

    I take Watkins without even hesitating.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    + a shitload

  • In reply to gpldan:

    No brainer.

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    Viva! Where ya been mang? We've been waiting for you Angelo Defense. What's up?

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    Viva!

    You can't hid from me forever. Bring the noise my man, bring the noise!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    e

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    btw, no WRs in rd one or two please... 1st rounders almost NEVER pan out for at least a couple years, and there are some studs on the FA block this year once this labor shit clears up.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Austin Pettis would be my pick in the third.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    MB -

    Would you rather be a Power Ranker or a Mock Drafter?

    Here, I think, is the question our BT will have to ask themselves tonight. Take the 4th or 5th best OT, or take the 2nd best Guard?

    I'd take the guard.

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    +1.

    Or god forbid, trade up and get the best guard.

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    Or trade down and get more picks. Is Derrick Sherrod or 27 year old Danny Watkins worth a first round pick? I hate the thought of reaching for an unknown.

  • In reply to jbenton:

    it's ALL unknow JAB... as you've already mentioned on this string. Who knows who's going to be a stud or a bust. Fairly has just as much chance of busting as watkins.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    My fear on Watkins isn't as much about being a bust. it's about him being 27 years old. that limits his time with the team and not to mention he has only been playing American Football for 4 years. He will need time to develop in the NFL.

  • In reply to jbenton:

    i hear ya mang but the 27yr old thing makes me feel even more confident that he is a grown up. He was drafted 4th overall in the 2010 CFL draft but chose to stay in school. all good signs. i think the Pats will take him. Or belichek will call us to move up 1 spot and fuck us out of more draft picks. that would be a classic pimp slap.

  • In reply to jbenton:

    I think that whole "develop" thing is kind of a crock of shit.

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    BLASPHEMY!!!!!

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    Without a doubt Viva. As long as it's on the oline and they are in the top 5 I think we're good.

    Now if there's a weird run on ALL OL and there's only second and third round scrubs left, then yeah, I get it... go to our next biggest need (DB) and get a freaking stud if one's available. Save that weird possibility, get olinemen.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Watkins, although I wish his Randy Watkins but Danny is close enough. I can make it work.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHRERLEM2eE

  • In reply to hollywood1:

    what the fuck happened to the other words i typed??

  • In reply to hollywood1:

    did you use a bracket or less than/greater than sign? Those types of symbols are seen as HTML by these things and everything after them get stripped out.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    who knows mainge, i'm fucking pumped for tonight. I can't help myself. Football rules all other sports.

    Bears are going to pull some shit off. Then we are going to take out the fat ass check book and purchase us some quality free agents. RODGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAD!!!!!!!!

  • In reply to hollywood1:

    Did you just call him "Mainge"?

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    ha! I had been using mang alot at work so i altered it a bit and came with with Mainge. I can't express via computer the heavy stereotyped mexican accent I use when i say it so I have to get creative in other ways.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Number of picks in the Top 75 for AFC East Teams:

    New England -- 5
    Buffalo -- 3
    New York Jets -- 1
    Miami -- 1

    And we wonder why the Pats always win.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Been saying it all along gp. That's what having a great owner, gm, and coach will get you.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    +1 MB

    seeing we have an idiot savant for a GM

  • In reply to gpldan:

    nicely done!

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    my favorite poem and poet

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Hmmmm... favorite poet... a toss up between Hemingway and Perry Farrell

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ok ok... I kinda like Poe, although pretty dark.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Dylan Thomas, Yeats, Ginsberg, Shakespeare

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    I figured Bill was assumed Jeff. You thespians, so educated!

    All good choices... but I have to admit, I haven

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Jim Morrison, Easy - E, Dr. Seuss

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    i was going to say the lizard king, but went with perry instead. Dr. Seuss is a favorite of my daughter.

    Look at you coach.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Some of the funniest shit I've ever seen is The Rev Jessie Jackson doing Green Eggs and ham on saturday night live. I'd link the youtube video but i'm at work and its blocked. (I work in nazi germany)

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Jenny from the block has a new post about an old man who hit on her at the grocery.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    oh jesus GP. SHe's milking her 15 minutes of newly found fame isn't she?

    (btw, did you see how I did that?)

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Bob Dylan. There is no other.

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    This lyric always gives me the chills. Especially with his unique almost ominous voice singing it.

    'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood

    When blackness was a virtue, the road was full of mud

    I came in from the wilderness a creature void of form.

    "Come in", she said,
    "I'll give you shelter from the storm."

  • In reply to nicholsra:

    Projecting is impossible. Two guys on NFL Net have Danny Watkins falling into the second round and two others have him going mid-first. As always, the quarterbacks sway these drafts. If a team is out there and thinks the QB of their future is available late round 1, all bets are off.

    I will not be surprised at all if we're not drafting tonight.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    We had some pretty nice rhyming haiku's in there, I must say.

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    Some verging on limericks, I think...

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    While you're all watching the draft, having laughs
    I'll be at a stupid conference for maths
    You'll be cheering or most likely jeering Angelo's picks
    While I'm listening to a bunch of mathematical pricks

    Interesting though math is, in my mind nothing's finer
    Than hanging with my brethren reading funny one-liners
    For math is my career, my vocation, my burden
    The bears are my love, my passion for certain.

    So think of me often, while you curse Angelo
    I'll think of you too in my math-hotel bungalo
    No laptop to bring, on Mel Kiper I'll rely
    To bring me the news, the where's and the why's.

    So good luck to us, may Angelo's folly be nary
    May he bring us only the finest of Beary's
    No projects, no gambles, no hidden spine ailments
    Just prosperous players, no draft plan derailments.

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    very nice doc!

    On a related note, they have CONFERENCES... for the maths!?!?!? Holysheitemuslim!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Oh yeah, glossed up with all the standard activities, like a pi-run/walk among other things. You know, your standard 3.14... mile run/walk. Good stuff. You guys are really missing out.

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    Fun!

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    do hookers frequent those conferences like they do at dentist conferences?

    "Bitch, you are going to get railed so hard and intensely that you'll think you were being quizzed in Discrete Mathematics"

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    I hope da Bears get some tough dirty linemen.
    Maybe Jay could pass instead of run for his life then.
    We need some bigs if we want to stick it to the Pack.
    Without them, better receivers won't mean jack.

    Jerry needs to step it up and bring in some beef
    if he wants to give Jay (and Martz) some much-needed relief.
    We need some players we might actually keep.
    If Jerry screws up another draft, I may weep.

    A defensive tackle we could use to take Tommie's place.
    Please Jerry, please, make sure he's not another head case.
    Don't draft a quarterback in any round,
    because in Hanie your No. 2 has already been found.

    A receiver would help so long as he's not a mouse.
    Also, make sure he's not like Greg and in need of a blouse.
    Of course Olsen did draw first blood against the Seahawks,
    but it's not a good sign when you score and everyone gawks.

    The last position of need is defensive back.
    If we replace Jennings, we could shut out the Pack.
    Then we should make Peanut a ball-hawking safety,
    cause he forces turnovers, and in our defense, that's key.

    This weekend the Bears need to be on their game,
    otherwise, we'll just end up with more of the same.
    Those who don't agree are just drinking the koolaid.
    This year, instead of mediocrity, I want a parade.

  • In reply to bearsfanatic:

    nice. bear down.

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    How do you ever cross the finish line?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    ha!!

  • In reply to hollywood1:

    Just a little maths humor.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    new thread

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    Does Ogre from revenge of the nerds ever crash it and just start drop kicking you guys? nnnneeerrds!

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    hey, what happened to the other RB that played with Ingram? Robinson maybe? That dude was just as much of a stuf if I remember... is he staying in school? Anyone know?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    stud

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/433083-trent-richardson-the-alabama-crimson-tides-other-star-running-back

    Damn, dude was a sophmore. Bama is stacked at RB.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    http://www.fannation.com/truth_and_rumors/nfl?xid=cnnbin&hpt=Sbin

  • In reply to DocNitty34:

    Wow. I want to insert a Schrodinger's Cat certainty principle joke here, but I can't think of one.

    Nicely done.

  • One time!

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