An Incredible Day of Perfect Results

The most amazing Sunday of football I've ever seen took place yesterday - and it seemed every bounce of the ball went the way of the Chicago Bears.  The New York Giants held a twenty-one point lead over Dog Killer and the Philadelphia Eagles and somehow, in one of those games that will be discussed at Manny's in Moonachie for years to come, collapsed at the New Meadowlands (name it already, please) and allowed the Bears to control their own destiny to a first-round bye.  

The Colts returned an onside kick for a touchdown.  Jason Taylor recorded a game-clinching safety for the Jets.  The Lions ended the Bucs playoff hopes at the final whistle.  Sexy Rexy threw four touchdown passes.  Tim Tebow proved he should be a tight end.  Kerry Collins filed Gary Kubiak's claim for unemployment insurance.  The Dolphins moved closer to the most unbelievable season in NFL history: now 1-6 at home and 6-1 on the road.  The NFC West completed their third 0-4 Sunday of the season.
And then to cap it all off, the New England Patriots held on for dear life and defeated a pretty damn impressive Matt Flynn-led Green Bay Packers, insuring the AFC playoffs will be coming through Foxboro and providing the Bears an opportunity to win the NFC North tonight.
Tonight outdoors.  Tonight in Minnesota.  Forget the field.  Forget Joe Webb.  Forget Mike Tice's history with the Vikings organization.  Tonight the Chicago Bears have an opportunity to beat an inferior opponent and win their division.  Win their division and guarantee themselves a home playoff game.  Tonight Lovie Smith has an opportunity to laugh at his critics, deliver one his patented "we know we're a good football team" and throw on the NFC North Champion baseball cap.  Tonight the Bears must win if we're to take the next month seriously.  Tonight the Bears must seize their moment in front of a national audience.
Tonight.  Champions.

Comments

Leave a comment
  • FIRST to hope and pray that Zygi got those stupid John Deere tractors that blow a furnace at the ground. And that they work. And that he gets cancer in 2011.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And that Larry Csonka is having a shit day.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And that Lack puts extra tape on his wrist for when he hits the ground.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And that Chris Harris is not prophetic.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And that Fran Tarkenton has a stroke from the cold during the halftime 50 year show. And that he babbles like Two Face from Dark Knight the rest of his life.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And that Warren Moon has grown a handlebar mustache.

    And that we colostomize Berrian.

    And that Pep copies Jarred Allen's laso bullshit after pounding Webb to the concrete.

    And that Psalm 53 miraculously grants Tommie a new pair of legs and nads.

    And that Pisa stays healthy if he plays.

    And that Lach Wizzinates all over AP.

  • In reply to Crowned:

    And that they do play Fav-Re (he is now listed as questionable) and Julius ends him once and for all tonight. On their shitty field. On their 50th (does anyone really care) anniversary. On MNF.

  • In reply to Crowned:

    The Bears will win the Division tonight.

    In my perfect world, Cutler, Hester, and our D all score touchdowns immediately. We run up the score and pull our starters, thus eliminating costly injuries for the rest of the season/playoffs.

    In my real world, I just hope no one gets hurt. Vikings excluded, of course.

  • In reply to Crowned:

    This game has bad written all over it. When the NFL and the owners talk about player safety they really mean maximizing their assets. I just hope we naysayers don't have an I told you so moment tomorrow. What will the NFL say if some marquee player, say AP, is carted off on a board? God forbid Cutler. Normally I enjoy hitting in football - it's one reason I can watch games not involving our Bears, but tonight I'll be cringing all game. For both sides. For us more, obviously. Okay and maybe not at all for Favre. Stay on the bench tonight Brett if you know what's good for you. Oh crap tonight is an ESPN game isn't it - maybe if Favre doesn't play in the game there will only be a couple Favre montages instead of 12.

  • In reply to Jokey:

    Oh gawd, I didn't even think about the montages. Ugh.

  • In reply to Jokey:

    NFL cares so much for Players safety but yet allows this shit to happen.

  • In reply to Grizzly559:

    Silly, isn't it?

  • In reply to Grizzly559:

    I agree with the comment earlier that the NFL is just trying to protect its assets. The reason why the NFL is not making more of an effort is because it would cost them too much time, effort and resources to address this solitary game. On the other hand when it comes to the rules they can just enact tougher standards with little to no cost to them at all. It just proves that they aren't concerned about player safety. The scary part about tonight is that if all hell breaks loose on the injury front it will be a giant feather in the cap of NFLPAs negotiations. Mark my words this will come back to bite the NFL if a worst case scenario plays out.

  • In reply to Jokey:

    SING IT!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqFf-0eROUA&NR=1

  • In reply to Crowned:

    Check this out. Gophers time lapsed vid of field prep:

    http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1729977691914

  • In reply to gpldan:

    For fucks sake, Favre was upgraded to questionable and might play tonight!?!?! Good let him play. Don't want any excuses when we sweep those clowns

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Brett Farve lifted to Questionable. He could play. I hope he does. I want the Bears to be challenged this next weeks. I want them Prepared for the PLAYOFFS!

  • In reply to Grizzly559:

    I'd almost rather Favre play. With him, we know what we're getting - 3 TOs. With Webb, it's the unknown.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And that Joe Webb doesn't play like Matt Flynn.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Apparently Joe Webb's hands are bigger than 10 inches. So, ya know, there's that to contend with.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Isn't Fran Tarkenton one of Santa's elves? Fran is that like Todd Margaret.

  • In reply to kenbill:

    Did you say Ann Margaret in her prime in a Elf outfit?

    Now there's some nostalgia I can get behind.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Glory to God for winning an NFL football game! - Ok, disinformation from Las Vegas no doubt.

    There are no godless Keynesians.

    Have to heave up some hypocrisy and take a Viking.

  • In reply to kenbill:

    I asked God to grant my wish of having Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway and Kate Beckensdale take turns sitting on my face.

    I prayed and prayed and got bupkus.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    MURPH WAS THE ONLY PERFECT ON THE WEEKEND. KINDA AMAZING.

    Viva - 7
    JMCyclone - 5
    FQD1911 - 4
    Albert in Tuscon

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    dude...i've been going 2-1 for 4 WEEKS STRAIGHT!!!!! this is so not cool.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Good for you for standing up for our guys GP.

    I think you guys might like this week's rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nJku6esfmE

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Just got home from work after having my ass handed to me all night Gaylord Focker style. Got a 2.5 lb pot roast in the slow cooker for the game tonight and I'm ready for some mother fucking football.

    Just no injuries please...

    DA BEARSSS

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Here here on that ben. It's my worry about this field.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    And mine as well, grew up in Jersey and remember what the ground felt like playing football in 0 degree weather with my buddies, I can't imagine what it's like on a surface like tonight's and in weather much colder than that of my childhood.

    Gonna catch a few winks, saw some logs as they say, I'll be catching up on this fine blog later sipping on some sierra nevada. Gotta enjoy days like these in life as they are few and far between.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Sierra Nevada? You would be drinking that. I live right below the Sierra, is that shit anygood?

  • In reply to Grizzly559:

    It's tasty dude. If you ever get a chance try the Big Foot Ale, its 12% and will kick you straight in your junk.

  • In reply to Vicp71:

    Big foot is not the best beer for someones intro to Sierra Necada Brewing. Their Pale Ale is great and in the summer their Kellerweis is a really good Pale Bock.

  • In reply to Vicp71:

    They are only doing this Farve shit to get more people to come to the game because I am positive that they don't have enough people to come to the game because of the horrible weather.

    So don't expect Mr. Brett to try anything except sleep with a cheerleader from the gophers stadium.

  • In reply to Vicp71:

    I'm not trying to be a biased Bear's fan but the Eagles comeback, now being called " The Great Escape", cannot be the best comeback ever. I still love the Cardinals game vs the Chicago bears. Just wish I never went to bed that night lol

  • In reply to Bears85Sweetness23:

    The Bears did it w/ a QB who threw 4 picks that game. Eagles did it b/c of their QB. BIIIIG difference.

  • In reply to Bears85Sweetness23:

    Never, ever walk away from a game.

    I learned that the hard way after I left a game at Soldier Field and heard the Bears win on the bus rolling up Lake Shore Drive.

    I did not go to bed that night as a result. Great game.

  • In reply to Bears85Sweetness23:

    Pisa is not playing tonight.

  • In reply to Bears85Sweetness23:

    I walked away... actually I stormed out kicking shit off tables and throwing shit... but I missed a lot of the 3rd and all of the 4th quarters of the Arizona miracle.

    Still curse myself to this day.

  • In reply to Grizzly559:

    I like the Torpedo Extra IPA myself.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Im worried that if we do win this game and clinch the playoffs, that We will simply just be whatever and coast into the Playoffs for the next two games. Thats why I wanted GB to win. I dont want the Bears to go into the Playoffs like that. I wanted them to fight to the last game and get in.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    DOMINATE minnesota in all three phases.... I know tonight will bring a tear of joy and a shout of victory from my heart as I watch the Bears being Crowned NFC North Champs Tonight! If you have any faith at all....dont forget to thank God and give him the glory, as he leeads you into the postseason and hopefully to a superbowl victory in Dallas.

  • In reply to BEARSFAN78:

    Easy there Preacher. Leave that stuff for Sunday morning... we've tried that here before and didn't turn out so well.

    Bunch of heathens on this blog.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Speak for yourself MB...lol

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Joe Webb better pray to the god of skinny punks...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I know MB im just a crazy bears fan who might get carried away sometimes...You should see me at home screaming at the tv..or when we beat the cards in 06. Or last night when GB lost last night. My bears passion drives the wifie crazy. she is a fan 2 and tells me i need to chill out... We all have our heathen momements.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    I had a dream last night that our LB's were playing off the wall and our corners were pick 6ing shit all over the place in the snow storm. This Danzig song was blarring through the loud speakers the whole time. That was my dream. Minus the boobs in the music video.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01LW2Y5kZ9E

  • In reply to Joseph:

    your vision gave me a navy and burnt orange erection

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    lol

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Oh gawd, here we go again?
    Can we stick to football around here?

  • In reply to Mastodon:

    Alot of people wonder if God really cares about football... With the way things have been going our way this season I think He does.. But I was just saying not to forget him. I will leave it at that.... Go BEARS!!

  • In reply to BEARSFAN78:

    Are you serious? Honestly?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Are you surprised that someone might have serious religious affections? Seems a little intellectually deficient of you to not recognize the existence of such things in the world. In the age of understanding and tolerance everyone is allowed such except the religious...irony much?

  • In reply to buckbear:

    It

  • In reply to buckbear:

    you gotta point buck

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yeah im serious I wasnt trying to make an altar call or anything like that. Just thankful for everything that has helped us out this year. I knew someone would freak out at the mention of God and football but I am just so excited, and maybe a little crazy...so just ignore me. All I care about right now is that we win our division. We look like a great team sometimes and at other times we could use a few miracles or from above to help us on theway to the super bowl.

  • In reply to BEARSFAN78:

    In fact, I'll raise you your Jesus, and see you...

    THE fucking MISFITS!! - Last Caress

    http://ilike.myspacecdn.com/play#The+Misfits:Last+Caress:69533:s509404.9636477.5016292.0.2.21%2Cstd_19d3298297794bd4985a4e82c5653c54

    How's them apples Joe?!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB, you really know how to tickle ones fancy. Well done sir.

    Lets get the show on the road.

    Bears!!

  • In reply to Joseph:

    Thought you might like that early Glen Danzig ditty my man. Damn, he's a dark mofo, but he's a damn good singer.

    Doc, you like you some Glen Danzig?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Glen Danzig is like 5ft 4 or some shit. Saw him in concert once and thought it was the mini version. He's one evil midget

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    Honestly, funny shit Coach.

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    Viva, looks like Jerry Angelo's salvation is going to come from a soldier... at least on this here blog. Can't wait.

  • In reply to BEARSFAN78:

    Joe, left a present for you up top a bit.

  • In reply to BEARSFAN78:

    Peter King picked against us? Holy shit, that was so unexpected.

    I now honestly hope, instead of a forfeit, of a fucking marxist uprising whereby the players simply go out, and on the opening kickoff just kick the ball off and all the players just go and stand in the middle of the field and refuse to move.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Said Marxism would make me unpopular with BEARSFAN78, because Communists are godless heathens.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    We're all godless heathans GP... he just doesn't know it yet.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Jesus help my grammar and spelling!!!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Have some Elvis singin bout Chicago

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ox1Tore9nw

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ditka would punch such boycott talk in the face, then take a shit on it.

    Shaefter (in the video) says Ditka said "just stop worrying about the field and play the damn game." Then he went "Arrrrggh!" and chomped his cigar.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nfl/news/story?id=5938923

    So, hey. What do I know? Just go out there players, and play. Dance for us!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nfl/news/story?id=5938923

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Oh the weather outside is delightful,
    But Peter King is so frightful,
    And since we've got ESPN,
    Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

    It doesn't show signs of stopping,
    And I've bought some Schnapps for shlopping,
    The stadium's lights are turned way down low,
    Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

    When we finally toss the coin,
    How I'll hate going out in the storm!
    But if hit me in the head really hard,
    All the way home I'll be warm.

    The fire in Farve is slowly dying,
    And, my dear, he's still still good-bying,
    But as long as you block me low,
    Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Excellent.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Relious fanatics and Marxists are more similar than you would belive. One asks you to sacrifice yourself to a ghost, and the other to a totalitarian government. Which is worse?

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    depends. does the totalitarian government have problems with pre-marital sex?

  • In reply to BEARSFAN78:

    So when we lost Urlacher last season, was that God not caring? And when we lost Mike Brown every year, was that God not caring? And when we drafted Enis, Salaam, and Haynes, was that God not caring? And when we palyed Krenzel, Quinn, and Burris, was that God not caring?

    Or maybe he's a Packers fan...

  • In reply to evantonio:

    Ha

  • In reply to evantonio:

    Curtis Enis was Lucifer having a little joke.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Peter King predictably picks the vikings without any real reason. Well, he expects Webb to be really good - I guess becasue he was picked in the same slot as Tom Brady and Matt Flynn did well last night against a Pats team that didnt' show up until the 3rd quarter. (???)

    The fact is, guys like him make a living by making unjustified predictions and being right maybe one out of 20 times. The one time makes them look like a genius (and they never stop talking about it) and the other 19 times never get mentioned again.

    STILL - he could be right. I think all long time Bear fans have seen this before. I HOPE the Bears get sick of people doubting them and play a complete game. But I FEAR that the field has become a major distraction and they will play poorly.

    Lovie and company have had their jobs cut out for them this week. If the Bears win - and they SHOULD - I will say ahead of time that Lovie deserves the game ball. Not just for winning the division, but for the turnaround since the bye. Overcoming the distractions of the field and another trap game and the country seemingly rooting for Joe Webb (WHY??) is a bigger challenge than most realize.

    IF they lose - and it pains me to say this - they will be pretty much a joke around the league. And I will understand why. This is exactly the type of game they have at times come into cocky and looked foolish.

    I beleive that Lovie and his now solid staff of assistants will be up to that challenge.

  • In reply to BillW:

    Peter King is an anlytical imposter. To let him sway your our judgment about this club is to give him too much power. The doubts you raise about this team are founded in reason and the fact you have watched this team. The doubts King (Peter the Parrot) mimics, are nothing more than the musings of others. You are right about the accountability of these fools. They are never held to account for their misguided anaysis.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Doc - I did not read your post all the way before I posted mine. We seem to be of the same mind here. We've seen this script before and come out on the bad end of it. I'm putting a lot of faith in Lovie and company to get the players prepared and to have an effective game plan for the elements.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    New Belgium Mothership Wit

    http://www.newbelgium.com/beer/detail.aspx?id=047f20db-3d58-4cbb-b4c3-f45c6ed3418d

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... beeeeeeeeeeer.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Grew up in Chicago. We played ball on the unplowed streets, asphalt under a 6 inch layer of ice. Never had more fun. Two words for the punter: SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP.

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    Man do I remember those days. After the snow got packed really good, we brought out the skates and played hockey on the street. It all still brings a smile to my face.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Also, I scored some Tang from safeway today, haven't had this shit in years. If it's good enough for Buzz and the other astronauts it's good enough for me.

    Word to the wise: if you folks know what's good for you do not download the game Angry Birds, you don't want no part of this shit, it'll ruin your life. Hard to put it down and concentrate on life, don't do it!

    DA BRRRSSSS

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Ben...

    TANG + Ice + Vodka = Florescent Orange Goodness

    Sleep well.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Let's hope Joe Webb doesn't have a Matt Flynn like coming out party.

  • In reply to bnjrmyn:

    Our O-line better come ready to fucking play tonight.

  • In reply to Joseph:

    No shit, and we all know why. It would be great to have a real running game tonight.

    And a bunch of real high tech knee and elbows pads for everyone on the team.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Yesterday was crazy. I cannot believe that someone with a losing record will be in the playoffs. I don't want that to happen because it will be a trap game for whoever plays them.

    Chicago, play for real, and kick ass.

  • In reply to JeffHughes:

    Did I clinch yesterday? Thought Cyclone had 6 wins..

  • Your epiphany didn't have a prescription. How do you counter the "hands tied behind your back/rookie" effect?

    Agree more focus should be put into how the boys are prepared before during and after an element game, but I'm not convinced that we are not built right after one truly dysmal half. Also, what happens when we build a team fit for the elements and have to go on the road?

  • I got some tang from a 1 legged saigon whore....

Leave a comment