Audibles From the Long Snapper

Debating the Trap Game
Matt Bowen - who I like - makes the argument in today's Trib that the Bears can't beat the Patriots this week but can lose to the Lions.  What he's arguing is that the Bears are about to embark on the NFL-specific malady known as 'the trap game'.  I, for one, am a believer in the trap game but this case simply doesn't meet the criteria.  The Bears vs. Pats game will be exciting but it actually means less to the Chicago Bears than the upcoming Lions, Vikings and Packers games.  If you knew the Bears were going 3-2 down the stretch, you'd prefer they lose the AFC games which have no impact on the tiebreaker pile-up about to hit the NFC at season's end.  Having the coffee nerd and the rest of the national media respect you is nice but making the playoffs is much, much nicer.

Soldier Field Re-Sodded
This story actually made me sad, which I know is strange.  But the Soldier Field sod was the unsung hero in the Bears win versus the Eagles and I sensed a little Shula-esque piece of gamesmanship.  When the Bears play teams with speed at Soldier, the field should be a murky mess of chunks and mud.  It should be impossible to break on.  It should be impossible run deep on.  It's called a home field advantage.  And the Bears have figured out theirs.

Lions May Be Down to Stanton
Shaun Hill has apparently been sporting some tape around the fingers and there's a strong possibility the Bears will getting Drew Stanton on Sunday in Detroit.  I don't really fear either player but it's clear that Calvin Johnson has a much deeper rapport with Hill than Stanton.

Da Picks Contest Standings

Viva and FQD1911 were the only perfects on Thanksgiving, which surprised me quite a bit.  Viva now leads with 6.  JMCyclone and FQD have 4.  Albert in Tuscon, Augie, IrishSweetness and enderwiggin each have 2.  (There is then a host of individuals with 1).  
StubHub Ticket Giveaway, Part Two!
It looks like be raffling off one (1) seat to the Bears vs. Patriots game on December 12th.  The bonus? You'll be sitting with me and Noah and will only owe us a beer or two for the pleasure (or three...or four...).  I'll let you know if when/if this becomes official.


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  • Fuck the trap game. I think we all know how dangerous these guys can be. The FIRST game proved that, so all we have to do is not hand them the game with a bunch of turnovers and failed goal line attempts. We need to crush these fools.

  • Oh, and btw... I don't give a shit if we lose to the patsies and jets. We NEED to sweep the North this year, it's become my own personal pipedream

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I second that emotion about Rex!

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    The Trolls are ALREADY without recourse since they DISAPPEAR as soon as their teams lose.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The only problem with this is that they are all on the road.....pretty daunting

  • In reply to brocklanders:

    That's why our record is maybe better than we are, the second half was always going to be the tough half. Teh Fudgers went into the Jets' house and shut them out. If they're coming to our house then we have to try and do the same. Their defense will challenge Cutler - he doesn't throw a 143 this week, take that to the bank. But we can close down their running game and hopefully put the smackdown on that powder-puff over-achiever male model Sanchize. Les Jets du New York ... null points.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I said before the season started I just wanted to sweep the Queens and the Fudgers ... anything else is gravy. I guess that means sweeping the Kitties too ...

    If the Detroit Lions beat us with a 3rd string QB then we don't deserve to be in the playoffs anyway.

    I guess with Pringles getting back into, not only are we the healthiest team int he NFL, but wee're actually getting healthier. Long may it continue . Fack, nothing's made of wood anymore ...

  • I think you put the wrong date for the patriots game, Jeff.

  • In reply to Bears85Sweetness23:


  • In reply to Bears85Sweetness23:

    This was the "Caboose" on the last thread but seems to speak to this one so I reprint:

    Every week is another test.

    This week, a true Super Bowl Contender goes into 2-9 Detroit and takes care of business.

    I don't expect the Bears to just walk onto Ford Field and roll over the Lions, even with Detroit starting a #3 at QB. The Lions are something like 8-3 against the spread and have made life interesting for most of their opponents, including the Patriots for a bit on Thanksgiving Day.

    That said, "Water seeks it's own level", the Lions ARE 2-9 and New England eventually left the guys in Honolulu Blue behind like week old roadkill.

    Week 1 was a long time ago. The Bears have improved since then.
    Lately, the Lions look like a team that has hit a plateau and even regressed.

    Both of those trends need to be continued on Sunday.

    Put in the Bachmann-Turner Overdrive CD and fire up
    the "Takin' Care of Business" track.

  • In reply to Bears85Sweetness23:

    As to "...having the National Media respect you..",
    I say "Screw 'em."

    It's more fun having the Bears make them look ignorant.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Urlacher should up his game and go all:

    "You've obviously mistaken me for someone that gives a shit what the national media thinks".

  • In reply to mikebdot:

    OR..."Here's a dime. Call someone who cares."

  • Well, in THAT case...

  • I know.. That's why I posted it. That would be amazing.

  • Yes, it should be 65 yards per game.

  • Yes, it should be 65 yards per game.

  • In reply to mikebdot:

    All too typical 4-letter Net sloppiness.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    I recently got into soccer for some reason. Well, I know the reason. When you watch a soccer match you can hear the excitement in the commentators voices. The same with why I fell in love with hockey. Scratch my back with a hacksaw? Come the fuck on.

    Case in point. If anyone remembers when Devin Hester returned back the punt against Denver. Did Dan Dierdorf get excited? No, all you hear is audible disgust that their punter kicked him the ball. You know what? Fuck that! Get excited you are watching the most dynamic punt returner in the history of the sport you son of a bitch! Fuck you Dan Dierdorf. You are why I watch football on mute.

    You are now able to stream onto Xbox through Xbox live and I can watch German, Spanish, English, and Italian soccer leagues. I watched Barcelona destroy Real Madrid on Monday and the announcers are not only excited, they use language to effectively COMMENTATE. You know, provide actualy linguistic descriptions of how watching the game makes them feel. As opposed to, say, "BOOM"...or "WHAP!" by John fucking Madden.

    This all goes double for the people that write about the game after the fact. They don't know what the fuck they are talking about and don't pay any attention to details, nor do they research what they are saying. It saddens and angers me at the same time.

  • In reply to mikebdot:


  • In reply to mikebdot:

    When we were at the game, they would start to play Souja boy and I swear you got goosebumps every time because when you saw who was back there you couldn't help but think.. is this the one?

  • In reply to mikebdot:


  • There is not a team in this league that has gotten better every week like we have.

    The team we fielded against Detroit in week 1 no longer exists. The Lions can not make the same argument. We are going to roll them up and spit them out on Sunday.

    I thought Tice was out of skull when he kept rotating the O-Line, but as it turned out it was a master stroke. Deal with the hand you are dealt the best way you can. Brilliant!

    The Marinelli connection to Detroit is enough fuel to fire up his D.

    Bears 38 Lions 6

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    I think some might argue that noone has gotten better faster than the Chargers, but I'd put the Bears right with em.

  • In reply to dutsami:

    Is there a better way to describe Philp Rivers' throwing motion beides "Ugly, but effective." ?

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Whiney but good?

    That dude lives in my hood... supposedly he has like 20 kids

  • In reply to dutsami:

    Here's the thing. The Chargers haven't really gotten better, they just started winning games - as dumb as that sounds. Statistically they've been leading whatever defensive/offensive categories since the start of the season, just weren't getting the Ws. Funnily enough, they started winning when key receivers and their #1 runner went down ...

    Here's Tom with the weather ...

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    Matt Bowen is a few cans short of a case.. who is really hyping the Patriots game? I haven't heard from any of my friends or seen on here about anyone who is "OMG can't wait to play the Pats!". They are a non-conference opponent. Any real football fan knows that Conference and especially Division games are far more important to the season. This is the media treating the fan base like they are stupid... that is what the media always bitches about with Lovie... so hypocritical. Pointless rhetoric.

  • In reply to dutsami:

    and... he says we won't face Stafford again, implying that we didn't face him the first time. It is completely different to be the team that knocks out the starter as opposed to not having to face him at all.

  • In reply to dutsami:

    A lot of folk rank them as number one in the NFL, so it's certainly a good test, some folk have the Jets right behind them. At least if we make the playoffs we'll have a pretty good idea of where we stand. I hope the Chargers don't make it. They look like a bogey team for us. We can beat the Jets, but I don't know about the Pats. We know the GB game will be a scorcher, so we have to try and win the division before we get there. Every game is important.

  • In reply to dutsami:

    From Espn :

    You read that correctly.
    It's the number of players the Green Bay Packers now have on injured reserve after adding linebacker Brandon Chillar (shoulder) and tight end Spencer Havner (hamstring) to the list Tuesday."

    If we can't take the NFCN from a team that is missing THIRTEEN starters then not only should Lovie and Angelo and Ted Bean-counter be fired, but they should be fired out of a cannon into Lake Michigan, dragged out, tarred and feathered, covered in petrol, have their tiny ball sacks kicked to a pulp, set on fire and pierced with many hot knives.

  • In reply to IrishBearsFan:

    Well, I dunno if I would say 13 "starters", that means your classifying Spencer Havner and some that ilk as starters and that is stretching it a bit; but yes they got the short end of the injury stick this year for sure. Balauga has really made the Taucsher knick not hurt so bad too.

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    Mike Tice. ANOTHER shining example of "The Peter Principle" as he was soooo out of his depth as Queens' head coach.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Hom and Marinara... they are EXACTLY where they should be now Al

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Agreed. They both just needed to be more focused in their duties.

  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    And with Pringles on his recovery, we'll get better .. if only Lovie would bench Webb though ..

    By the bye, over on WCG they just had a confidence poll on Lovie and 78% of readers approved !! I just had to infiltrate with an alter ego and vent. Goldfish memory, that's all I can say.

  • One more thing:


  • In reply to PhantomOne:

    Shut up, 6 victory having motherfinger! Is there even enough weeks left to beat you ? You'd have to blank every week too ... start getting your blogfather game on !

  • It's official, 3rd string QB Drew Stanton will be starting for the cowardly lion on sunday. Bring it on you asshat! 1 career start 3 picks and a benching last year vs the niners. Pretty sure the defense just popped a collective chubby.

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    Drew Stanton fear boner?

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    3rd String.


    That reminds me. The Bears still insist on Todd Collins as Cutler's backup.

    We sooo hate that.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:


  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Non football thought of the day....

    Wow. Just.... wow:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    With implants under two grand and all major credit cards accepted, all cleavage is now suspect...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Daaaaaaaam ! Put your legs over my shoulders and let me wear you like a horse's feedbag. Stop the clock and live in that moment forever.

  • +1

    Yuck... hate that song (sorry Al)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Easy, men.

    I'm not nominating the song for The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

    The title was merely apropos to the task at hand.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    C'mon you guys, that's classic Canadian content. In Canada the radio stations have to play a certain percentage of Canadian artists (Canadian Content). If you listen to classic rock radio you hear a never ending stream of Guess Who, Bachman-Turner, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, April Wine, etc. Painful. Needless to say, I don't listen to that shit unless I'm at work and have no control over the radio station.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Neil young.... (shudder)

  • Jesus, fuck that. I can't even picture what I'd do if I had to go to Jail. Fear boner doesn't even begin to describe it. Scary shit.

    Fres, hope you don't have to do time, but maybe it will be the 'holy shit' moment you've been waiting for. Best of luck man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The Double DUI will land him a week, maybe two(landed me 2 weeks back in the day). He'll be on here blogging his ass off in no time. He'll be fine in county Jail. Provided he secures his fear boner in his waistband per Doc's advise.

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    Time for something trite, no?

    "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime."

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    If drunk drivers kill 5 times the people that died on 9/11 every year why don't we treat them like terrorists? He's lucky they don't waterboard him.

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    That's the reason I quit drinking almost 17 years ago. It was either quit drinking or quit driving. I'm pretty sure I made the right choice.

    +1 on the Fear Boners.

  • In reply to MASOCHR:

    Jesus, what would my mother think... cavorting with a bunch of convicted felons. Fuck jail coach

  • Thanks for this, Doc. I may be writing a full piece on this.

  • I dunno, Doc.


    Has a kind of a RING to to it, don't you think?

    Seriously, (and I know this will STUN some trolls) I'm not anxious to see it happen either.

    At least The Chargers were born in L.A.

    #2 media market notwithstanding, I fail to see why the NFL is so hell-bent on putting a team back where the fan-base has TWICE proven that they are just NOT terribly interested.

    I mean, what part of "The Rams and Raiders both crashed and burned in L.A." is unclear?

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Common sense dictates that if the Vikes WERE to move to L.A., they would swap divisions with the Rams. A prospect I'm sure the Rams would endorse for the team travel benefits.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    LA needs an NFL team and this is one of the few that doesnt have gang colors.

  • In reply to Jlehr:

    Purple is used by the Castro District BackDoorBrothers Sac.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    LA Queens. I like it.

  • amen doc, love that man

  • ...AND mR. Young has a fantastic toy train layout.

  • I don't get the fear boner thing. I watch The League - I don't know why cos I hate every character in it and it's not funny. I'd do Ruxin's wife though.

    Thing is, there's no such thing as a fear boner -if you get a boner in front of other men it's because you're gay, right?

    Explain it to me. Please.

  • I like Young too. I have more respect for him than almost any Rock star. He's never really sold out and is true to himself. Can't say that about most of them. That voice is an acquired taste.

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