The Jeremy Bates Question

Here is what the Tribune has to say about Jeremy Bates:

His first qualification for the job is he gets
along well with Jay Cutler, having been his quarterbacks coach in
Denver. But he also is known as an extremely hard working, brilliant
young coach who learned a lot from Jon Gruden and Mike Shanahan. He also worked with Rod Marinelli when he was an offensive quality control coach for the Bucs. Bates, the son of longtime NFL assistant coach Jim Bates, currently is the assistant head coach and quarterbacks coach at Southern Cal. The 33-year old never has coordinated an offense at any level, and his maturity has been questioned.

With Jeremy Bates have never been an offensive coordinator, would Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith be willing to risk their careers in Chicago on an individual without a track record?  I can't see it happening.  That's why I think they'll ultimately go the route of a Mike Martz type.

Side Note: It seems my prediction that Perry Fewell will become the defensive coordinator was not much of a reach.  Fewell already has an interview lined up.


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  • Hi

  • I really think it will be Martz or shanny jr., I just can't figure out who the puppet they will bring in for DC will be. OOO I know we should get that Tom Cable guy isn't he that dude who breaks people's jaw when they argue with him, omg how hot would that be; can you see Tommie and Lovie rubbing ointment on each other's jaws! Oh well it's fun to imagine.

  • Dedicated to Perry Fewell and the Bears 2009 Season:

    Ginny says
    I'm done with Turner Oh!
    He treats fans like a ragdoll
    She hides
    The television
    Says we don't owe him nothing,
    But if he comes back again
    Tell him to go back to Illinois for me
    Or just
    Try again tomorrow
    We'll change our minds tomorrow
    Gonna kickoff tomorrow

    Ginny says
    Have you seen my wig around?
    I feel naked without it
    She knows
    They all want her to sell
    But that's O.K. man
    She dont like them anyway
    Ginny says
    She's goin away to spain
    When she gets the fan money saved
    I'm gonna start tomorrow
    I'm gonna kickoff tomorrow
    Gonna kickoff tomorrow

    She gets mad
    Starts to cry
    She takes a swing at drafting but
    She cant evaluate talent
    She don't mean no harm
    She just don't know
    What else to do about it

    Ginny goes
    To the store at 8:00
    She walks up on Lower Wacker
    She waits
    And gets her dinner there
    She pulls her dinner
    From her pocket
    Ginny says
    I've never been in love with anybody but George
    I don't know what it is
    Only knows if someone wants her money
    I want them if they want me!
    I only know they want me!

  • Shanny Jr. went with Shanny Sr.

  • Love Hammer owes Martz, Martz gave him the job in STL that allowed Love Hammer to springboard to head coach.

    Payback in the coaching world is the currency...

  • The OC pick will show how much power Cutler has with this organization. He wants Bates, but the brass knows Bates has no coordinator experience. It will be interesting to see if they bow down to Cutty and give em his guy. I know he's the franchise, but I'm not sure that's the precedent we want to set either.

    More than anything the players need to set the bar higher for themselves.

    gpldan, you've been on fire recently, keep it up.

  • In reply to crowntheirass:

    Isn't Bates supposed to be going with Shanahan in some form ? And I'll eat my shorts if Martz comes to Chicago after throwing Cutler under a bus this season ... Cutler won't have it, Angelo said as much. Any OC will obviously need Cutler's approval, he's the franchise. And after what Martz said, no reasonably normal human being is going to forgive that and let bygones be bygones when all they have to do is shake their head.

  • Jeff, the Bears are notorious for hiring coaches without track records. I think RT was the first coordinator in years to actually have experience coordinating. Perhaps this is because of the bargain basement salary levels these guys had commanded.

    On Bates, the Bears need to be careful. While he would obviously get along with Jay, I'm not sure it would be wise to have another young brash mind leading the offense. Groupthink seems to be a problem for this team, especially with our head coach. He seems to surround himself with coaches who aren't willing to challenge him on his stubborn ideas, or at the very least play devil's advocate every once in a while. And if there IS a coach willing to stand up and offer a dissenting opinion or attitude (Rivera) they are shown the door. Jeff made this point yesterday about getting a DC in here to play 'bad cop' or at least offer a difference in attitude if not a difference in play calling as Rivera did while he was here. I think the same argument can be made for the new OC.

    The best match for Jay may not be a young buddy, but perhaps someone older with a bit more experience who can help balance Jay out. Like I said earlier, the Bears haven't typically hired coaches with previous experience, so Bates might be the most likely choice considering his history with Cutler and Marinelli and the low price he would command in negotiations.

  • ah crap it was a 2for

  • Since nobody anywhere has posed this question; if there are questions about his ability to be a coordinator in the NFL, why not make Coach Boy-Wonder the Quarterbacks Coach?

    Go ahead, talk amongst yourselves.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    I like it Ghost, I just don't know if he's willing to settle for another QB coaching position. He was Shanny's QB coach from 2007-08, then became the OC at an NFL caliber college program. He might feel he's ready for the next step. I haven't heard his name rumored for any other NFL spots, so maybe he would take the QB post. I'd be all for it based on the fact Jay has a relationship with him. Anything is better that Pep How did I become the Bears QB coach Hamilton.

  • In reply to crowntheirass:

    I remember seeing Pep on the sidelines trying to 'coach up' Grossman and wanting to throw up.

  • In reply to BearDown1982:

    Just threw up in my mouth.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Well, it's worth a try. As QB Coach he would have more day-to-day contact with Jay and would probably have a greater impact on his play than as OC.

    If a Martzist OC were to be hired, I would definately pursue Bates, who according to Zach Zaidman is already tired of college after one year and wants to get back to the NFL.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    The Bears need a miracle and hiring Bates could have a lot of upside or a lot of downside. The whole NFL has plenty of tape on Martz and his offense and crap, and would it be too complicated to get it going right away? I say go for Bates, go for the long ball.

  • In reply to Perno:

    I happen to believe that the Bears will probably go for Weis. Bottom line, whoever they pick it will be a proven co-ordinator that gives them the best chance to win next year. JA and LS do not have the luxury of hiring some up and comer. Its win or get fired and they know it.

    I personally think that they have a pretty good idea who the new OC is already and the front office will make the announcement within days. My money is on Weis. I don't think the Bears are stupid enough to hire another failed ex Lions coach albeit Martz, or are they?

  • In reply to ImissButkus:

    I would prefer Weiss as well. He knows how to exploit a 3-4 far greater then Martz, and there is no way in hell that they turn the reighns of this O over to a guy with so little experience.

  • In reply to ImissButkus:

    according to pompeii, weis unlikely; bates (could be) leading candidate

  • In reply to ImissButkus:

    First -
    Shady, that was GREAT! There's nothing like a good pun. (And that was nothing like a good pun.) Just kidding - it was great. Almost wish it happens just for that.

    Got this email from the Bears yesterday. Roughly translates to "PLEEEASE don't give up your season tickets":

    Thank you for your continued support. In a season we did not play well enough to achieve our goals, you did your part. You gave us a great home field advantage by bringing your passion each and every gameday. We are grateful for your loyalty and devotion.
    We understand the disappointment in our 2009 season. Our focus is providing you with a winning product in 2010. And our commitment is bringing a championship back to Chicago.
    The following includes some answers from a press gathering today featuring our President and CEO Ted Phillips, General Manager Jerry Angelo and Head Coach Lovie Smith. We wanted you to have timely access to their responses to questions many of you have. Thanks again for being an integral part of our team. coverage of Tuesday's press conference
    Story: Phillips: Angelo and Smith still know what it takes to win
    Video: Ted Phillips opening statement | Jerry Angelo on changes | Lovie Smith on changes
    Transcripts: Ted Phillips | Jerry Angelo | Lovie Smith

  • In reply to BillW:


    I get how things work so I

  • In reply to BillW:

    Wildly off topic, but I want to play the dangerous game of, what can Devin Aromashadu do?

    By taking the stats from the 6 games in 2009 in which D.A. played and using my handy calculator, I have projected his stats if he had started 16 games. Please keep in mind this is 100% bullshit.

    64 Receptions
    798 Yards
    10 Touchdowns


  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Ghost, Remember, DA was only a primary target in two games. I think you need to redo the names using only the stats from Detroit and Minni. You definitely have to figure that next year he will be Cutlers #1. I don't see the Bears giving up on Hester but I do see them moving him to a 2, or 3.

  • In reply to ImissButkus:

    Not. Other teams adapt.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Also, I don't know how this one is going to go gents. History tells us that management will undoubtedly chose unwisely and pick up the cheap guy without any experience or proven ability

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    2 good things out of all this:

    1) the coaches will all be expendable
    2) a great coach will be here next year (hell unless lovie goes deep into the playoffs, i don't see how he has a job in '11)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Don't discount JA sticking the knife in Lovie's Back next year. I can see him hiring an OC that would have the qualifications to replace Lovie halfway through the season should the Bears tank again on D. I could be wrong but whoever JA chooses(and I do believe that at this point in time Lovie doesn't have a say) it very well might be a OC that can make the transition to HC.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Totally off topic, but one of the best mash-ups I've seen. It does have some of our favorite coaches and our favorite quotes:

    Oh and FQ... (in Scottish accent) he puts his huuuuge mellon on his enormous cock-shaped pillah. Cock-shaped pillow

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    An interesting conumdrum, MB. Will the fear win? I kind of hope not; next year seems likely to be another "lost season", so why not gamble on a miracle?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If it's a question of experience, I'll take Charlie Weis over Martz. Martz is too in love with trying to light it up with big plays instead of a steady sustained drive. Way too high-risk.

  • In reply to StarkyLuv:

    Weis just signed with KC apparently. He's probably looking for the 'F'.

  • In reply to BillW:

    Bring in the Cutler enabler.. Just what Packer fans want. Someone who will allow Cutler to keep up his antics...

  • In reply to MadMaxRockatansky:

    awwwwww....did mommy and daddy not love you enough to let you be a Bears fan? so you became a Packer fan and decided to cry on your cock-shaped pillow for the rest of your adolescence?

    btw....i've seen some of those Packer women fans in the stands. the offseason, your first priority is to eliminate all those banshees & start bringing in some cute women in the stands.

  • In reply to FQD1911:


    You have quite the imagination.. A VERY disturbing one at that...

    How you came up with that from what I typed is beyond my comprehension & I'm sure any normal persons as well. Its obvious that your anger consumes every inch of you & maybe you might want to get that checked out.

    11-5 > 7-9
    Rodgers > cutler

    .. I can go on if you'd like...

    GO PACK GO!!!

    .. and yes THE bears STILL SUCK!

  • In reply to MadMaxRockatansky:

    doesn't really take that much at all if you think about it (but thinking is not a strong point of yours...being a Packer fan and all huh)? now....abou your other "noteworthy" pieces of that argument

    1) numbers don't lie, but we had a SHITTY season and still won 7. didn't y'all have an ok season last year and only won 4? yea thought so.
    2) rodgers has receivers to throw to. switch QBs on the teams....let's see what he's REALLY made of w/o a pure #1 wideout
    3) anger? lol i pity you to keep it real. you're a packer fan coming on a BEARS blog to talk shit. some1 doesn't have enough in their life to do....get married. have kids. take a vacation. do SOMETHING!!!!

    o and enjoy that early playoff exit that's a/b to come.

  • In reply to FQD1911:

    1) numbers don't lie, but we had a SHITTY season and still won 7. didn't y'all have an ok season last year and only won 4? yea thought so.

    .. Actually the Packers won 6 last year. They lost 7 games by 4 points or less & I'm not sure what that has do with anything.

    2) rodgers has receivers to throw to. switch QBs on the teams....let's see what he's REALLY made of w/o a pure #1 wideout

    .. correction... Rodgers throws to open recievers, but keep making excuses as it only shows how feeble & desperate your points are in context to the big picture.

    3) anger? lol i pity you to keep it real. you're a packer fan coming on a BEARS blog to talk shit. some1 doesn't have enough in their life to do....get married. have kids. take a vacation. do SOMETHING!!!!

    .. Yes you are VERY angry, because a balanced person would have replied to my post in the way you did. Not sure what I typed that gave you valid reasoning to fly off the handle like you did, but hey, keep on keeping on.

    So according to you one can't have a life if they post on opposing teams websites? Love your logic there.

    .. Oh yea.. I assuming that you aren't a part of the bears organization, so.. why do you use 'we' when referring to the bears? Talk about no life.. Keep living vicariously through the bears chump. I think you're the one that people should pity.

  • In reply to FQD1911:

    Crown, "Wow". Now thats the kind of HC I would love to see on the sidelines again. Unfortunately the Breed has died out.

  • In reply to MadMaxRockatansky:

    Define 'normal' fudgepacker ... look where you live ...

  • In reply to MadMaxRockatansky:

    Cutler's antics? Get a job!

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Yes.. Cutler's antics.. I guess by your vague reply that you know I'm right, and rather then agree that Cutler needs some SERIOUS grooming with.. his attitude along with his mechanics.. you try to insult me.

    Have to love you bear fans. Rather then admit defeat like real men.. you hurl insults at the drop of a dime.

  • In reply to MadMaxRockatansky:

    And by using your same logic, by dodging my accusation you admit you are indeed one of the nameless rabble of trolls who stroll in here occassionally plague this site.

    I choose not to discuss football with you because I believe you to be subhuman and unworthy of anymore comment other than to be told to fuck off.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Correction; I meant to say jobless and nameless.

    That is all.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    TOO FUNNY!!!

    Aren't we on an ANONYMOUS blog you fucking dolt.

    I suppose I should tell you where I work, live, & what I drive on this FOOTBALL blog? I mean its so relevant to this site, isn't it? Come on shit for brains, you can do better then that, right?

    You choose not to discuss football with me, because all the drivel you've posted in here over the course of this year turned out to be complete bullshit, & it would just really show how inept you really are concerning football topics.

    Its also funny how you call me a troll, but you display all the characteristics of a troll. Oh the irony..

    Keep grasping at straws shit for brains...

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Haha, boy this Mad Max is a NEAT guy!

  • In reply to MadMaxRockatansky:

    What fucking 'attitude' ? He took the blame all season long even when it wasn't his fault. he kept his mouth shut when Urlacher called him a pussy in pre-season and then at the end when Urlacher called him out. That could have gone a whole different way. The media were queueing up for him before the season started, he was on their menu from day one. He's done remarkably well to come back at the end of the season the way he did. He'll throw 4 TDs a game if we let him next year.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:
  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    I really can't see much of a difference in record in 2010 than we had in 2009. What, the excuse for the season is bad coordinators? Wait I thought our excuse last year was bad QB, it all starts with the QB? Now we go get a QB, he stinks up the field so it all starts with the OC, the DC?

    The end game is talent on the football field. 8 times out of 10 the team with more talent at more positions is going to win, the only exceptions come from the vague; home field advantage, hustle, heart, amazing chemistry. We have no picks on day one in 2010, unless there is a contract agreement, no UFAs, no salary cap with cheap management; and our GM just said he is looking forward to filling the roster next year with college free agents.... that is the pile of crap left over after the draft. So... where are we bolstering our roster? We will have the same fn team next year save for maybe a 3rd or 4th round rookie. With all the big roster additions in 09 and spending money on Jay, a new OC and DC, plus we will need to keep Anderson or Ogun, how is 2010 looking any different?

  • In reply to dutsami:

    Hopefully way different, and why not ? Pace won't be at LT from the start, there were signs of improvement on the line I think. The emergence of Shabba-dabba-doo will hopefully tattoo the words 'big receiver' on the insides of Angelo's eyelids. With the amount of bullshit on the roster there's no excuse not to drop by the homeless shelter and pick up Brandon Rideau. Forte and Bell will hopefully have room to run, Cutler gets more time to hit his big receivers, he'll know the guys better. And no Ron Turner ! That alone makes us better already. An OC working in Cutler to the game-plan will be new. Some big meaty receivers will be available in FA .. how can it get worse than this year for the offense ?

  • In reply to dutsami:

    I see it way different on offense next year, Lac. Then again I thought we were going to the Superbowl, or within spitting distance of it. The line showed some improvement once Williams was put back at LT and Shaeffer came in. If they can find a good guard in FA then we've got our running game back (Forte should be 100% by then). With Bell in there, that's exciting. That opens it up for Cutler and his new best friend, plus whatever 6'4 stud Angelo pulls in at receiver {biting my knuckles}, Knox/Bennett in the slot. Nice. I pray that Olsen ends up at #3 TE so we can get some production from the position. I have to say that at 6'7, Davis should be a wet dream for Cutler. It's all about keeping Jay healthy.

    On D there's a lot to like. I mean we lost two LBs and a DT before the second half of game 1. We lost our defensive general. He'll be back, fit and ready. The potential of Melton and The Pool Man ... meh. Izzy, Alex Brown, Anderson, Harrison, and a fully fit Tommie Harris with another year under Marinelli's tutelage ? They'll be good. Jamar Williams, Urlacher, Briggs (Pisa?) ... solid ! Peanut/Bowman aren't a bad combo. Steltz/Afalava might step up. Even without improvement, that's not bad for a starting eleven. Injury dictates we need better depth. Unfortunately Angelo is the guy who finds our players. So next year should be interesting until the injuries pile up ....

  • In reply to dutsami:

    Scheffler's a free agent too. With both himself and Marshall on McTool's shit-list, we should at least try and get a TE ...

  • In reply to dutsami:

    Perry Fewell (from the trib) :

    In Fewell's four years in Buffalo, the Bills ranked 10th, 18th, 14th and 16th in points allowed. This year, the Bills ranked 19th in yards allowed, but five of their starters finished the season on injured reserve.


  • In reply to dutsami:

    Then again ....

    "I think they need someone to hold them accountable every play on the field, including in practice,'' said Bowen, who lives in Chicago and writes for the National Football Post. "When I say Perry is a yeller and a screamer, he's a guy who demands accountability on every play. He wants players in the proper position, using the proper leverage and playing within the system of the defense on every play. He's not afraid to call players out in meetings. If you don't play within the scheme of the defense, you don't play.

    "Perry and Lovie coach the same scheme, which we know the Bears are going to stick with next season, but they do it in a different manner. Lovie is more laid-back. I don't know if I want to call him a players' coach, but they're different in the way they approach practice, the gameplan and the sideline.

    "I think pro players need to be scared a little bit sometimes. I think too often pro players relax when it comes to coaching and too often they brush stuff off and say, 'I'm the player at the top level, you're just a coach.' Even in shorts in a walk-through, Perry is going to put that fear in players that you're held accountable, 'I'm still the coach and you're going to listen to me.'''

  • In reply to dutsami:

    "....Schefter also tweeted that the Bears could approach Jedd Fisch at the University of Minnesota, who also worked with Cutler."

    Seems Cutler is certainly helping them out...

  • In reply to dutsami:

    Sorry for all these posts, work is kind of light ....

    From a Broncos forum .. posters on hearing Bates had gone to the Raiders :

    Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet, now Jamarcas "wing bowl" ressell can throw bubble screen passes

    Goodbye Jeremy! I guess now maybe when it is 2nd and 1 or 3rd and 1 you will run it instead of passing to only settle for 3 points. Be Gone! Oh yeah and 6 yard loss Bubble screens, and Lame attemts @ end arounds,

    and from

    For many USC fans, the departure of Jeremy Bates would be a welcome event. The Trojan offense in 2009, supposedly the strength of this year's team, has under performed, and much of the blame has been laid at Bates' feet. Questionable play calling has left many Trojan fans scratching their collective heads all season long.
    Of course, to be fair to Bates, USC has played true freshman Matt Barkley at quarterback, and he has experienced the expected growing pains, which has hampered the USC offense.

    In addition, the offensive line, called the best in the nation by The Sporting News prior to the beginning of the season, has also under achieved.

    Having said that, Bates has rankled the Trojan faithful by calling passing plays when the running game was clicking, and vice versa.

  • In reply to Perno:


  • In reply to Shady:

    Funny Shady. Very nice.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    lol... best one in a while in Da Bears Blog!

  • In reply to Shady:

    Anything Hub Arkush says should go in one ear and out the other after his 'exclusive revelation' that the Bears were going for Cowher et al. People put way too much importance on what these media whores come up with and peddle for news.

  • Ryan and Ditka had issues too, and huge egos.

  • I would love to see the Bears try to hire Pete Carmichael Jr. from the Saints after their playoff run. He is their OC and used to be their quarterback coach. He would also be able to help Cutler out tremendously.

  • Irish,

    Do you still live in Ireland? Do you know of the Dublin Dragons football team?

  • In reply to crowntheirass:

    No, living in Thailand 5 years now. My old team, the Dublin Celts, aren't around anymore. Once the core of a team dies, the team dies. Not enough interest to keep teams going. I don't know if they still play iron man football because of numbers ....

  • In reply to IrishBearsFan:

    I lived in Dublin for almost a year a couple years ago and my roommate and I played on the Dublin Dragons squad. It was a lot of fun, made a lot of Irish friends that were really into American football. Great experience playing all the different county teams.

  • Mike V. I wanted to keep it honest. Even the best receivers get shut down from time to time, and games like San Francisco in which he had 1 catch for 10 yards are possibilities.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Ghost, damn, you're right of course but you can't blame a guy for trying can ya.

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Fassel Fewel? LOL, Shady.

    Even better than if they hire the youthful Mr. Bates, canwe call him "Master" ?

  • In reply to TheGhostofHalas:

    Unprecedented footage of da coach....This is the type of head coach we need...Make sure to watch the end...

  • In reply to crowntheirass:


  • ... and ultimately watched them both become stars in the AFC.

  • "That bay's heed is like Sputnik. Spherical, and completely empty inside."

    And he was right about the colonel ... and the new world order.

  • Hey Doc, that's easy. Walter Payton. I latched on to football and the Bears because of him. Then, being a kid, I thought the punky QB was cool, I was hooked. I got my local newsagent to import a British weekly gridiron paper 'First Down' and that's where I got my news from. The Bears in the Nineties are a little vague for me, football went off the TV for a few years, so I remember the Eighties teams better, Mike Tomczak, Neal Anderson, Dennis Gentry, guys like that. I was big into books on American football, couldn't get enough of those big glossy, historical jobs about past players, greatest games, records, super bowls. Then the center of the Dublin Celts decided to start up a junior team when I was fifteen and that was it for me. The same bunch of kids turning up every Sunday in the freezing cold, wet, mucky mornings to play football. The odd person out walking the dog, would stop once in a while out of curiosity. It isn't cool to like American Football back home. Pads, helmets, all that. People think that's not tough. It has a sport-for-girls stigma attached. Man, they should try playing it when you can't feel your hands. It moves more quickly than rugby (when the ball is in play) and the tackling is more brutal. Rugby is only played in the rich kid schools by rich kid jocks so I stuck to gridiron. Played all the usual sports, but never felt the same way about any of them. Don't know why. Even soccer is seen as a foreign sport in Ireland, although everybody plays.

    Funnily enough, all the kids that played defense were Bears fans with long hair that smoked. I was already a Bear fan, but I grew my hair long too. That shit was funny - seeing a bunch of long-haired kids, the defensive unit, walking around these Protestant towns all wearing Bears jerseys, smoking cigarettes. At times we were the only team in the Republic of Ireland, because either the Dublin Rebels or the Dublin Tornadoes or whoever would be having problems putting teams together, so we'd travel up to Northern Ireland and play Protestants in Protestant areas just for somebody to play. This is back when people were still getting shot and blown up just for being seen talking to Protestants. There we were driving up to play these guys at American football. I think it was the only time in Irish history that teams of different religious backgrounds played each other. It happens in rugby, but the teams are mixed (that's the only sport where North and Southern Ireland compete as 'Ireland'). But there was never a problem, no trash talk, no fighting. I think they just appreciated the fact that we traveled up the country to play them, get our asses kicked, and drive back home on the bus. It's funny, we never talked to the offense or hung out with them at all. They all had short hair and were either Cowboys or Niner fans. We were on the same team, but we weren't on the same team. Practice was D vs O. You played offense or defense and never the twain shall meet. That was it. I remember seeing the QB on a train in Germany, years later. I didn't even even go up and say hi. I should have waited until he stepped off the train, lacerated his kidney, and screamed 'DEEEEE-FENSE!' in his ear, made a quick Dallas Cowboys comment and then ran off. He would have been thinking about that shit for years. I wish I was more evil ....

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