I miss my family. Though it's hard for me to remember how things really were, the visions are still real. I was so young when things were good, that those memories feel like dreams, or movies. It was so long ago...
My grandma was tasked with raising me, which began just before my freshman year, so I'll start there. Margaret Pearl; I miss you. You spent the most time with me even though we just talked in passing. You fed me, clothed me, and disciplined me, while I was reckless and lost.
Mom was physically missing, and mentally, dad was too. You were ever present and, for that, I thank you.
I miss your smile, and your work ethic. Falling asleep, with the vacuum cleaner running, on the kitchen floor. Mostly, I miss your faith. You never wavered in your beliefs. I wish you could meet Abby and really had a chance to know Jen. I would make you proud.
I miss 4905 Home Avenue. The father who bought us that house, owned a store, and drove the latest Cadillac. I miss my gorgeous mom. Funny, smart, and loving.
I miss my brothers. They live just far enough away that I rarely see them. If it isn't family problems that get in the way, it's distance.
I miss Lance. Almost a brother, he was a great friend who knew how to listen. Yes, he had advice, but it came at a cost. A violent cost.
I miss Jerry Raycraft. He gave me my first good paying job, a truck to get my license in, and the respect to do things the right way, the first time. God knows I hate when people half ass shit. He would stand outside and watch you work. Then get in your face if it wasn't the slightest bit right. It was frightening, but it "built character."
I miss the way some things were, mostly my family.