Go Ahead and Jump On, We've Got a Unicorn Pulling the Bandwagon

Go Ahead and Jump On, We've Got a Unicorn Pulling the Bandwagon

Traditionally, you think of horses pulling wagons, but here at Cubs Insider, we've beaten all of ours to death, so now we're turning to a slightly more rare and glorious beast. And in that, we're not alone. All of Cubdom, it seems, is lining up to climb aboard a bandwagon pulled by a Javy horse.

I believe the preferred nomenclature is actually unicorn, but the young man now plying his trade at the corner of Clark and Addison is fast out-pacing comparison to virtually anything, mythical or otherwise.

Please note, however, that I'm not going to stop tweeting pictures of Mia Sara from Legend when Javier Baez does well or a dead cartoon unicorn when he doesn't (#BARZ).

But Baez defies normal comps. Even superlatives at times seem lacking when used to describe what he does on the diamond. To watch Javy crush a baseball is to taste the distilled essence of the sport. Pure, unbridled excitement and enthusiasm. It's addictive.

So by all means, drink up. I mean, who am I to play the role of a PR-conscious beverage company, telling you to drink responsibly after touting their new widemouth can with punch-top for a smoother pour. Hey, we just developed a way to shotgun beer without all the mess (though isn't that kind of the fun?), but don't you go drinking too many.

That's how I feel about Baez and Cubs baseball right now, though I owe much of that to the meandering journey through the wasteland of the last three years. But now, rather than grabbing a drink to self-medicate or forget, we can do so in celebration.

I know that many of you still retain the rough, self-protected callouses formed by decades of letdowns, but I'm telling you: it's so much more fun to just sit back and enjoy it right now. We can get all tense and cautious in a couple years.

But waiting for that lump of coal up your butt to turn into a rare gem while we've got some on the diamond already is a waste of perfectly good time that you might not have much more of. Not to mention that it's probably bad for your butt. And even clean coal is dirtier than Sparkle Power or Soler energy.

Okay, enough with the potty humor and puns. I know that not all of us will be completely happy until The Plan starts producing more wins than losses, but at least seeing guys like Kyle Hendricks, Arismendy Alcantara, and Javy will Baez some time until that day comes.

Dammit, I'm just bred for bad wordplay, sorry. The Cubs are 7-3 over their last 10 games, but they're still sitting at 49-64 on the season. Even so, despite being 13 games out of 1st, there's a palpable, expectant electricity about the team, like standing beneath high tension wires, feeling the buzz as much as hearing it.

Sure, there's some danger involved in giving your heart up to this team again, only to see it trampled asunder by the cruel, sharp hooves of Fate. Cagey, vindictive bastid, that one. But if there was no inherent risk, no fear of the barely-contained power of optimism, the thrill wouldn't be as great in the end.

And if you don't find this thrilling, you might need to check your pulse:

So grab my hand and climb aboard the bandwagon, there's still plenty of room. Heck, we've even got a few Old Styles chilling in the cooler and the hot dog guy should be back around soon. Besides, this thing's picking up speed and I can't guarantee we'll be able to come back around for you if don't hop on soon.


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  • I take it WGN TV is stopping its Rizzo home run promotion spots.

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    I'm climbing back on the wagon,especially after drinking all those 8 oz. Old Styles over 35 years ago. These are exciting times to have our hope reinstllled with pure Cubdom.

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