Double Your Displeasure, Double Your Glum: Cubs Bunt Their Way to Two Losses in One Day

Double Your Displeasure, Double Your Glum: Cubs Bunt Their Way to Two Losses in One Day

1 day, 18 innings, 0 runs. One loss at the hand of a former object of Cubs fans' desire, two at the hands of, well, a former object of Cubs fans' desire. Those would be Masahiro Tanaka and Joe Girardi for those keeping score at home.

The Cubs grunted, bunted, and punted their way to a disappointing day in the Bronx. Seriously, of the Cubs trio of hits in Game 1, two came by way of the bunt. When I said I wanted the Cubs to do a better job of manufacturing runs, I didn't mean that they should go back to pre-Industrial Revolution methods. This is like watching the Amish play baseball.

I can't find an exact stat for bunt attempts, and I'd probably be even more incensed if I could, but the box scores show at least 4 that were put in play. That's not a big enough total to fit with my irrational anger though; surely there were another 50-60 failed lay-downs. We all knew the team wasn't going to be good, but c'mon...

Pardon me for being a little salty, but it's an inevitable byproduct of all the extra seasoning needed to eat crow. But hey, at least I got to follow it up with a big slice of bunt cake. Too much? Yeah, that's what I thought.

My feelings are best summed up in the eloquently succinct word of Starlin Castro, who, following a pop-up to open the 9th inning of Game 2, exclaimed: well, I don't really want to type it out, but it rhymes with suck and duck.

But hey, we only have to wait 32 days to exact revenge, right? That's because the Derek Jeter Retirement World Tour will play a couple dates in Chicago beginning May 20th. It's sad to say, but I think more Cubs fans might show up to the ballpark to see The National, or even a reunion of Tommy Shaw, Jack Blades, Ted Nugent, and Michael Cartellone, than their own team by that point.

So give The Captain a case of Old Style or a custom Clark the Cub suit or, hell, let him call his shot in a game for all I care. Just beat the damn Yankees.

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  • At least now you have new reasons to "don't like the Yankees."

    The schedule must be really messed up if, instead of 3 games at one site with other league teams outside the rivalry, this series is split 2 at each. How did that happen?

    Finally, I don't think that the Amish are waiting for a Jumbotron before they can field a team.

  • fb_avatar
    In reply to jack:

    I have to assume that MLB wanted to maximize the value of the historic matchups. Perhaps the Cubs could hire some Amish folks to put up the signage in the same manner as a barn-raising.

  • In reply to Evan Altman:

    They may have the mules and pulleys, but not the electricians or computer techs.

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    In reply to jack:

    Oh, I know they can't connect it, but I'm sure they'd come cheaper than union guys. Good luck getting that to fly though. And perhaps they could supply the Budweiser Party Deck with some new wicker furniture too.

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