You Suck: Greatest Hits from Comments on my Cubs Articles

You Suck: Greatest Hits from Comments on my Cubs Articles

If you’ve read my work, you know that I’m often a sarcastic and self-deprecating guy.  Part of that is a defense mechanism, a way to sort of protect myself from the slings and arrows of outrageous (mis)fortune.  I like to think of it as the B. Rabbit-from-8-Mile strategy, except without super-dope rhymes or Mekhi Phifer.

For instance, one of my Twitter followers reacted thusly to my earlier post regarding Tom Ricketts' playoff talk:

You lose some credibility writing this article.  No shit, what did you expect him to say.  Youve [sic] gone from blogman to troll.

I’ll be honest with you, stuff like this used to get to me.  There were times when I’d internalize some of the comments my readers would make and would allow them to make me angry or to make me question whether I really was doing a poor job.  But then I'd remember that I'm the only person I know of who can name all 10 members of the Wu-Tang Clan in under 4 seconds, a feat of which I doubt even the intrepid Jon Greenberg is capable.

With that in mind, I wanted to put together some of the greatest hits from the post-article comments on my work over the past few months.  I’ve included links to each piece in case you’ve got some extra time and want to see exactly what spurred the responses.  So enjoy, but beware: here there be trolls.  Oh, and questionable logic.  And some really awful spelling and grammar.

Chicago Cubs Fact or Fiction: The Rebuilding Edition:

"Well I'm glad his years on a farm listening to Cubs baseball has made him an expert on major league issues and politics. Mr. Altman is a moron like every other Yahoo contributor."

"I am a huge Cubs fan, but this article looks like it was thrown together in about 10 minutes by copying and pasting from previous articles."

"Sounds like your drinking the Theo Kool-Aid..."

"I want that two minutes of my life back!"

"Lijke Isaid Ricketts family born Again Wrigley s =as long as the fans pack them in why bring a winner the Yankees may be haited but Steinbrenner spend money to bring a winner"

Three Stats that Define the 2013 Season:

"I think Evan should stick to farming. I grew up in northeast illinois, went to my first Cub game in 1958 when I was 8 years old. My dad grew up on the Northside of Chicago and never saw a Cub championship, I will never see one either And the reason has nothing to do with stats. It's because of the Cheep owners, terrible general managers that make stupid trades and have no idea how to build a WINING team. Huey, Duey and Lewy included."

Fixing the Chicago Cubs: 5 Easy Pieces

"Is the author aware that when Epstein and Hoyer started working for the Cubs, everyone who was paying even the slightest bit of attention understood that they Cubs were going to suck for a few years (....more) because they let it be known that they were going to rebuild the team from the minor leagues up? It is not like anyone (besides the guy who wrote this) is shocked that this is going on. Yahoo, if you are going to hire people to write sports articles, hire ones who didn't just start paying attention yesterday."

"All these so-called experts tick me off get a friggin life ..probably never played baseball in his life ..but he's an expert..If the game was so dam simple Cubs would've Won A World Series along time ago.When the Cubs Win IT and they will..You still won't give Credit were Credits due.So all you so called Experts got it Figured out. Well mister smart #$%$ let the rest of us in on it so we can p#$%$ it on.. Die Hard Cubbie Fan.."

"Dumb article. Your talking About 4-new position players and another starting pitcher. May as well get a new team."

Why Donnie Murphy Should be Re-signed

"Who ever wrote this Article is a moron, Aramis Rameriz was the CornerStone of the team, in his eight year span with the cubs no other third basemen had more homeruns not even the mighty A-Rod, to say Aramis wasn't the cornerstone of this team is a slap in the face. Murphy is good but he will fall well short of the number Aramis put up.  My Facts are Correct, and Thank You For Also Making My Point, Like I Said No other Third Baseman in the Game Had More HomeRuns Than Aramis during His time with the Cubs, Aramis Was The CornerStone of team, when he played and was hot they would win those Games most of the Time."

Managerial Candidates Not Named Joe Girardi

"your an idiot!"

"This article lost all credability with canseco's name!"

Why Was Dale Sveum Fired?

"For starters Mr. Author, no one cares about your knowledge of 80's pop culture.  And Rick Renteria? Who? Is another no-name really going to inspire confidence in anyone?"

"I hate this team more than any other in baseball....they are losers who care more about money than anything else. Now they have a radical right wing owner..........wonder how he feels about the blacks on the team......"

"Hate to be critical but you probably could have dropped the 12+ mixed metaphors in this article and said the same thing in about 100 words. The message, whatever is got lost."

"Huh? I read the article twice. The first time -- and even with a PhD -- I couldn't decipher the arcane dribble and skewed metaphors. The second time? Better than Sominex!"

"One pop culture reference is fine. It can even become a theme if done so cleverly and judiciously. Two or more = a writer who tries WAY too hard."

Chicago Cubs: It’s Startin’ to Come Together as Rick Renteria Is Tabbed to Turn Team Around

"By the way, these spanish speaking Cubs are not latin, they are hispanic/black. The black ones, Castro, does he look Italian? Rizzo is latin. Just because one speaks spanish does not make them latin. The government counts hispanics in the census, not latins. Don't be so lazy Evan."

I’ve been quick to compliment the intelligent and respectful feedback I see here on Cubs Insider, but sometimes I miss the days of slummin’ it with the Yahoo Contributor Network.  Submitting work through that channel was like being a visiting athlete in Philadelphia.

Thankfully, with time comes perspective.  I’m happy that reading these words now puts a smile on my face; I hope they did the same for you.  And stay tuned, because I’ve got another article that generated enough feedback to merit its own post.

Follow me on Twitter: @DEvanAltman

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  • This article was pointless, and contributed nothing to my knowledge base. Have you considered the possibility that your many critics had it right?

  • you won the internet. good job! can we get an article about the cubs and not you one upping trolls please.

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    Thanks for reading!

  • i try to not make it a habit of reading comment sections. but a full article about nasty comments you've received online? i'm not real sure what the purpose of this was?

    i guess, to each their own...

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    In reply to wpbc:

    I thought it was kinda funny, myself. But obviously, not everyone agrees. Back at it, I'll try to do better next time.

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    Blatant patronizing and making fun of your readers is a great way to lose them. Good luck to you guys, but really, the world doesn't need another Steve Rosenbloom. I liked Loxas when he was on Cubs Den but the addition of the new writers has brought this blog down considerably. Out.

  • In reply to Michael Canter:

    Michael, thanks. However, even if this post wasn't your thing, I think a lot of the new stuff has been pretty good.

    Hope you still check it out.

  • In reply to Michael Canter:

    Everyone's got different tastes, but I have to disagree with you. I think Loxas is bringing the rest of them down.

  • In reply to North Side Irish:


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    In reply to Michael Canter:

    I'm tending to agree... but I'll continue giving this blog a chance for a bit longer. Some good stuff here and there. It's kind of in the Dale Sveum stage. Some regression, but I'm also seeing some development. Hoping the Baez-esque posts will come up soon and take this blog to the next level.

  • I've actually liked Evan's work so far...he's writing a different type of article than most blogs have and I'm sure his style is not for everyone (as this one shows). But I like that he's offering something different and he has been just churning out the articles lately.

    I've actually enjoyed the new writers here so far, though I would like to see more of Tommy Cook's work before I can make a decision on him. But they've also been active both in the comments and on Twitter and I appreciate that interaction.

  • In reply to North Side Irish:

    I think you are going to like Tommy's prospect knowledge.

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