First, a show of hands: how many of you got the urge to watch Risky Business again after reading my last post? Huh, not as many as I’d hoped for.
And if you haven’t read the post, do yourself a favor and head over there now. Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you get back.
I’ve spent more time than is either healthy or necessary contemplating the existential nature of being a Cubs fan. My bio describes me as a self-loathing Cubs apologist because that’s what I am; I’m a conflicted soul, torn between wait ‘til next year and win now, dammit.
But where I’m Jekyll and Hyde (and, yes, I am aware that the good doctor was schizophrenic and that Hyde was an evil person), many more Cubs fans have taken sides.
When viewing the team, they saw two paths diverged in a yellow wood. Down one path when the starry-eyed Pollyannas, those who believe that, in the end, their loyalty will be rewarded by a title because, well, diligence and effort (and maybe dumb luck) will ultimately prevail.
Down the other went the more Melvillian thinkers, those for whom a Cubs title is akin to the white whale.This schism has given rise to a series of false narratives that seem to have taken root in more than just anti-Cubs trolls.
No, many Cubs fans, tired of what they perceive to be impotent ownership and incompetent management, have gone full-on anti-transcendentalist.
Fans only attend games to get drunk
This one is really a combination of several concepts, including, but not limited to, calling Wrigley the “World’s Largest Gay Bar” or saying that baseball fans on the North Side don’t understand the game.
I won’t get into the assininity of such statements, but it does appear that the “die-hard” fans have adopted a much stronger anti-bandwagon view that borders on Birther-level fanaticism.
While this video might initially seem to debunk my debunking, I couldn’t help but include it. I mean, the phrase “his sideburns look like ass hair” is worthy of its own post (keep your fingers crossed!).
Truth is, there are some jackass Cubs fans, but the same is true of every team. And people do go to Wrigley for the experience, but isn’t that what every fan wants for their own home field?
And, last I checked, Wrigley is not the only venue in America that serves alcohol. If it was just about getting drunk on warm, overpriced beer, no one would ever leave Murphy’s Bleachers. Or their couch, for that matter.
Tom Ricketts Doesn’t Care about Winning because Wrigley Always Sells out Anyway
My high school calculus teacher told me that I was the second-best mathematician he had ever taught. But that was about 10,000 beers ago, so you’ll have to forgive me if my figures aren’t quite on target here.
Attendance has dropped by 600,000 fans over the last 5 years and the average ticket is $44.55. That comes out to, hold on…I’m taking my socks off to figure this…$26 million.
Without factoring in the additional parking, concessions, and gear, we’re talking about a huge increase in revenue just by fielding a decent squad.
Ricketts is no dummy; talk about a silver spoon all you want, but the man knows how to make money. And he’s smart enough to know that winning will make him a lot more money.
The Cubs have been rebuilding since 1908
I almost feel bad dignifying this with its own header, but I hear this nonsense enough that it should be addressed. The Cubs have never rebuilt like this before.
They’ve reloaded and unloaded, but have never participated in a ground-up overhaul of the organization. You don’t have to agree with the concept, but that doesn’t mean this is same-old, same-old.
I don’t know, maybe you all feel like the principle of Nibb High after Billy Madison got done likening the Industrial Revolution to the Puppy Who Lost His Way. Hey, at least Miss Lippy liked it.
It’s frustrating enough to watch the Cubs flail around on the field without having to battle trolls over ignorant beliefs. Oh well, time to pop in my DVD of the Sandberg game, take off my shirt, get blasted, and check my spot on the season ticket waiting list.
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