10 Bold Predictions for the Chicago Cubs in 2014

10 Bold Predictions for the Chicago Cubs in 2014
Anthony Rizzo and Starlin Castro will comprise half of the infield on Aug. 1st.

I first published this list of 10 bold predictions back in September as a freelance contribution to a pretty popular website.  I did so with the intent that I would follow back up on it a year later, like a quasi-literary time capsule.  Which reminds me, my buddy and I never retrieved that Mason jar from the sand in my parents’ crawl space; I wonder how much the money in there is worth now.

Anyway, the outfit through which I had submitted the piece is soon to be defunct, so I can’t very well do a redux with them.  It neither prudent nor necessary to mention the site by name, but let’s just say it rhymes with the Cleveland Indians’ racist mascot.

In any case, the list itself is below.  You’ll note that some have already come to pass or have been disproven, but I didn’t feel it right to cherry pick.  I want to get these back out there so that I can own what I said, right or wrong.

The Cubs will win 85 games

Dale Sveum will be replaced as manager (check!)

Starlin Castro will bat .300

Javier Baez will win Rookie of the Year

Scott Baker and Daniel Bard will be solid members of the bullpen

Jeff Samardzija and Travis Wood will combine for 35 wins

The Cubs will stand pat at the trading deadline

Wrigley purists will enjoy the video board

Anthony Rizzo will be an All-Star

The Cubs will win both the first and last games of the season

If you’d like to read the original article, please take a moment to do so.   But just in case you’ve already had enough of me (and I suspect you have), I’m including some of my favorite reader comments below, along with their scores from fellow readers  (thumbs up, thumbs down) and my current thoughts on them.

From Brad Wesley:

This preposterous column is like the random ruminations of a somewhat-more-articulate-than-average nine-year-old who has been avidly following Major League Baseball since he was seven.  Unfortunately, Evan Altman probably has a driver’s license.  Is anybody in the [Indians mascot] Sports Department even skim-reading these ludicrous columns?  (0, 5)

Then later:

I read the first part.  It’s a cheap cop-out and, if taken at face value, renders the whole exercise a masturbatory waste of time.  (1, 0)

Still upset about Dalton -- the best damn cooler in the business -- taking you down, Brad?  And, yes, I do have a driver’s license.  Well, I did…until I drove that monster truck through the local car dealership.  Also, “masturbatory waste of time” is either contradictory or redundant, depending on how you’re doing it.  Can’t wait for the Road House reboot!

From ahan:

I’m a hopeful Cub fan and even I agree the author is a delusional homer. (10, 0)

I can’t really disagree with this.

From x:

I so hope he is right and “Theo the Liar" fires DITH SVEUM  (1, 1)

Hey, I think you accidentally hit Caps Lock.  I’m sorry Theo lied to you; if it makes you feel better, he told me he loved me too.

From Chuck:

What is this guy Drinking and Smoking whatever it is I want some. (15, 0)

Judging from the grammar, you already have plenty.  But hey, at least you put a period at the end.

So there you have it: my bold predictions for 2014 (though the Sveum one was really still 2013).  Mark your calendars for September 29th, when I take a look back to see how I fared.


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  • Not feeling too good about prediction #8...

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    Yeah, that was the one that was subjective and pretty much can't be judged by a stat sheet or box score. I love Wrigley, it's my favorite place on Earth, but I also enjoy being able to see the replays and real-time stats, etc. I had always liked the idea, but was convinced after travelling to Fenway and realizing that all of the signage and the jumbotron and everything did nothing to detract from the atmosphere. And if the Cubs end up getting better, it won't matter what they put up at Wrigley.

  • In reply to Evan Altman:

    No doubt. I was just trying to add a little humor to what has otherwise become the depressing joy-suck that is the rooftop negotiations.

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