Tag: Milton Bradley

Assault In Haiku: Bradley Arrested

Assault In Haiku: Bradley Arrested
Second time this year Milton Bradley arrested Felony assault   According to the LA Times: Former Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Milton Bradley was arrested after allegedly swinging a bat at his wife in their San Fernando Valley home, Los Angeles police said Wednesday. Bradley, 33, was booked on suspicion of felony assault Tuesday at the... Read more »

Uprisings In Haiku: Mubarak Gone, Kenney Next?

Can angry Cubs fans Accomplish what Egyptians Managed to get done? Mubarak is gone Cheering crowds hope it’s better With new President The Cubs have problems You’ll find two of the biggest In the front office How ’bout it Cubs fans? Demand a new President And new GM, too! I honestly don’t mean to make... Read more »

Haiku Meltdown: Zambrano Loses His Mind

 ... were harmed at The Cell on Friday
Carlos Zambrano was about to explode after the bottom of the first Carlos Zambrano Indefinite suspension For this explosion: If MLB has already forced YouTube to take down the video, just click here for video from the MLB website.  Then explain to me why MLB doesn’t allow embedding of their videos. After an awful first inning,... Read more »

Cubs In Haiku: Cubs 6, Rockies 2

Can you believe Seattle paid us to take Carlos Silva off their hands? (Tribune photo by Scott Strazzante) Thank you, Seattle You took Milton off our hands And gave us Carlos Carlos Silva earned his fifth win Tuesday night; the trade for Bradley that brought Silva to the north side is looking better with each... Read more »

31 In Haiku: Maddux Is A Cub Again

His number is retired, but he isn’t. Cubs hire Greg MadduxHe’s gonna be Jim Hendry’s“Special Assistant” Bruce Levine has the news … The Chicago Cubs may have made their most important acquisition of the offseason Monday by adding a future Hall of Famer. The organization will announce Monday afternoon that 350-game winner Greg Maddux has... Read more »

Center Field In Haiku: Cubs Sign Marlon Byrd

It looks like Marlon Byrd has a big … uh … bat “Big” (?) New Year’s Eve newsCubs sign Byrd to play centerIs this what we need? The Cubs want you to think it is …  “We knew he was a good guy,” general manager Jim Hendry said of Byrd, about whom the Cubs inquired... Read more »

Ho Ho Haiku: All I Want From Santa

To all the Cubs fansWho celebrate tomorrowA Merry Christmas Like Adam SandlerI’m a menorah lighterBut I’ve got wishes So I’ll ask SantaAnd hope that he grants wishesTo nice Jewish boys Make sure Fonzi’s knees Will last him a few seasons He’s so expensive I’m glad Bradley’s gone But not so thrilled with Silva Can we... Read more »

Trades In Haiku: Milton Bradley Is Gone!

Finally, Milton Bradley is flying away from Wrigley Field A Chanukah gift?Perhaps it’s a miracleMilton Bradley’s gone Last week I posted my request for some Chanukah miracles, and now one has actually happened! Sort of. It’s not much of a miracle when we pick up a crappy pitcher with his own huge contract. But the... Read more »

Eights Nights In Haiku: Chanukah Miracles

To all those like me,Menorah lighting Cubs fansHappy Chanukah G-d did miraclesFor us back in ancient daysWe need some right now First, Milton BradleyPlease convince another teamTo take him from us Second, the outfieldKosuke can play out in rightBut who plays center? Some pitching would helpOne starter, one relieverJust might be enough You know that... Read more »

Attitude Problems In Haiku: Harris vs. Bradley

Grossly overpaidUnderachieving asses Attitude problems H/T to @42TheGreat who posted this tweet: Tommie Harris and Milton Bradley should become friends. Two grossly overpaid, underachieving asses w/attitude problems. So which ass is worse?Would it be Milton BradleyWho just can’t shut up? Or is it Harris?Who hits a man when he’s downFor no good reason? Or maybe... Read more »