Jerks In Haiku: The Beer Thrower Exposed


This is what a jackass looks like

Cubs fans don't throw beers
On opposing outfielders
This guy's just a jerk

If you watched tonight's game you saw the despicable incident when someone in the bleacher's threw a beer on Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino.  Unfortunately, Wrigley security initially tossed out the wrong guy - they ejected someone who was taunting Victorino after the jackass a few seats over had tossed the beer.  On Twitter, @Adambuckled reported that he had sent a text message to Cubs Security who said they'd try to get the right guy.  Hopefully they did.  (Apparently they did not - see update below)

But, since ChicagoNow has given me this soapbox, I'm posting this picture so everyone will know what a jackass looks like.  If you see him on the street let him know what you think of him.

And be sure to make it clear that real Cubs fans do NOT support this kind of behavior.

(Thanks to @antnard1 for posting this image on Twitter)

UPDATE: Paul Sullivan reports on the Trib's Hardball blog that the beer thrower slithered out of Wrigley Field before security could catch him.  Chicago Police will release a photo on Thursday hoping that Cubs fans can help identify him.  But readers of Chicago Sports In Haiku have a head start. 

UPDATE II:  Some comments questioned whether I had identified the right guy.  Now there's video proof that the guy who was ejected is not the beer thrower.  I originally had a YouTube clip posted here, but it was taken down after complaints from MLB.  Not to worry.  You can still view the video at the Cubs website. If you pause it about 0:07 in you'll clearly see the guy who tossed his beer on Victorino.

Do you know this guy?
Then you should pick up the phone
And call the police!


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  • Awesome! Go get 'em, Ed! And go Cubs! It ain't over yet.

  • In reply to KenMcMullen:

    I've made the trek many times from StL to the bleachers of the friendly confines. I have even taken my kids to those bleachers and while we've gotten into pretty heavy smack talk it's never gotten out of hand. And it has always been's always fun to watch the Redbirds beat the C.U.B.S. (Completely Useless By September). Hell it's always fun. I actually have pic of my son playing catch with a cubs fan, on Waveland while we were waiting for the yard to open....Of course the guy who tossed the bev is a piece of crap. Now then, you Philly fans, where is your memory, it hasn't even been a month (7/25) since some classy Philadelphia citizen thought it was a great idea to shine a green laser light into the eyes of guys standing in the box with 90+ mph balls flying at them. Not the least of which the best player in baseball today, one of the top two players to wear the birds on the bat, and certainly the best player to step foot on your stinkin' sandlot. So we all know that the barley boy at wrigley last night is a bag of dirt, but don't you Phils get so indignant - you're living in a glass house.

  • The picture you posted is not the person who threw the beer.
    Goto this video
    Look at 1:04 and pause it.
    Its the guy with a white shirt, front row, with a baseball cap on backwards with arms extended.
    The guy you posted was 2 persons to their right

  • In reply to jojopuppyfish:

    Looks like the other outfielder is pointing at the guy pictured above.

  • In reply to Maim:

    Ibanez and Victorino are pointing at the wrong guy. They've identified the "taunter", the "fall guy" the one who got thrown out.

    But the video linked in Rich Beckman's comment below proves that I've got the right guy.

  • In reply to jojopuppyfish:

    That's absolutely him. We watched it a few times on DVR and it was obvious.

    What a douche! Man, he totally fits the stereotypes. You are correct. This guy non-chalantly tossed his beer to his left, about 4 seats towards victorino, and quickly sat down... The guy who got tossed was proabably 4 seats over.

  • In reply to jojopuppyfish:

    ha. also, i love the pic you posted.. he's the only dude in the bleachers without a beverage and everyone is looking at him.

  • In reply to jojopuppyfish:

    Looking at this video:

    it appears that Ed Nickow has correctly identified the jackass.

  • In reply to RichBeckman:

    Thanks Rich (and Warriors77, too) for finding the video proof.

    That's what I saw on TV last night. It's pretty clear.

  • In reply to RichBeckman:

    JUSTICE. I was watching the game yesterday and was very frustrated to see security toss the wrong fan! I looked for a way to contact someone, ANYONE to advise them of the blunder - even Tweeting LenandBob. I hope the ejected fan gets a free ticket.

    Just to be clear the fan in the Cubs hat with white tee shirt with sunglasses hangin in front and a white wristband. He walked up and very quickly and slyly just tossed the cup off the wall. The ejected fan was going for what appeared at the time to be a home run ball.

    GREAT JOB, Chicago NOW in exposing this jerk. Come clean and be forgiven for your pathetic action - you were caught red handed. Cubs should otherwise consider banning him for life. In this case Cubs could have used instant replay to overturn the ejection ;^)

  • In reply to jojopuppyfish:

    There is no doubt that the guy pictured on this website is the RIGHT GUY!

  • In reply to jojopuppyfish:

    That man is a douche
    His hat isn't even straight
    Justice--find a way!

  • In reply to bjsmith1984:

    Nice haiku Brandon
    I hope the cops get this guy
    Ban him from Wrigley

  • In reply to jojopuppyfish:

    I stand corrected.....good work

  • I agree. You have the wrong guy in the picture. You should correct that right away. Look at the very end of the video per the previous post.

    Unreal. Pretty sad someone would do that. Looks like the guy that got kicked out is pretty close to him (maybe his friend?)

  • I think you're wrong jojo. I looked at this several times on my DVR, and the local broadcast had a much closer shot than the video at the link you provided. I'll try to find it and post a link here.

    The guy you fingered is sitting next to the "fall guy" (some are calling him the "taunter") who was kicked out. The guy whose picture I posted tossed the beer and quickly sat down. I've seen several posts of other blogs which agree with my about which person is the culprit.

  • In reply to EdNickow:

    You do have the correct guy. Watch this youtube video, especially at the 0:26 mark.

  • In reply to EdNickow:

    I am wrong.....The Blogger is correct.

  • In reply to EdNickow:

    has his picture been published by the police yet? Is it making it to TV in Chicago? They gotta catch this jerk

  • In reply to PhilsFan:

    A complaint has been filed. Pictures available. See my latest post:

  • In reply to PhilsFan:

    Clearly the wrong guy kicked out. The MLB video shows the culprit actually pointing to himself as security is hauling out the wrong guy.

  • I'm still having problems finding the video. The only WGN HD video I found was too choppy to watch. But here's a story at another blog which reaches the same conclusion I did:

    I'll keep looking for better video.

  • Thanks, Julie.

    It took me a while to convince my friends that I was a real blogger. Being invited to join ChicagoNow certainly helped.

    Now I'm a journalist? Well, maybe for a day. I was just so pissed (especially while seeing others dump on Cubs fan on Twitter) that I had to do something. I'm fortunate to be on ChicagoNow, which makes my blog much more visible than it was 3 months ago.

    This is a minor crime, of course. We've seen lots of violence in Chicago lately. I'll leave that to others to report. I'm just defending real sports fans, real Cubs fans and even non-fans who just like to visit Wrigley Field.

    There's a sign on the wall, visible to fans in the bleachers, which reads "Respect Wrigley". This jerk apparently doesn't know how to read.

  • I live 1 block from Wrigley Field and I can say for a FACT that Cubs fans are animals. Pure dirt bags.

  • In reply to chefpete:

    So do I but I can recognize that making blanket statements like that is foolish. There are a lot of loud drunken fools that walk by our place but I'd never been ridiculous enough to say that they ALL are animals, dirtbags...etc.

  • In reply to chefpete:

    What's going on there, I think the guy is really from Philly. I keep hearing that us phillie, eagles fans are the worst in the country. That what Joe Buck always says.

  • In reply to chefpete:

    What do expect ? A normal yuppie scum cub fan...I am going to pour "somthing"(recycled beer) on the statue on Banks...


  • In reply to dauber213:


  • In reply to dauber213:

    This is behavior I would expect from a Sox fan. =)

  • In reply to loganmccombs:

    What do Sox fans have to do with it? Does one of your lame tattoos say non sequitor?

    No matter what team goofs like this root for, it's slimeball behavior.

  • In reply to loganmccombs:

    This is reply I would expect from a yuppie scum cub fan...

  • In reply to loganmccombs:

    Hey watch out there LOGANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN you look like a CUBBY fan !! Beside I think the guy has a better arm an aim than some of those over priced guys in the field !!

  • Diehard Phillies fan here. Given the rep our fans have (snowballs at Santa, etc) I completely understand that the beer throwing idiot does not represent Cubs fans at all. Most Philadelphia fans are knowledgeable well behaved fans, but the acts of very few give all of us bad name.

    Now, as far as the idiot who threw the beer: Anyone that obnoxious who is goofy enough to wear wrist bands must have a lot of enemies. Someone will turn him in. Thanks for posting the

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