Pregame: Well if all goes well, the Cubs will be celebrating in Busch Stadium under a shower of Champagne and Bud Light. Currently, the game time temp in St. Louis is nearing 90 degrees, with the humidity. I’m sitting here laughing at all of the people wearing red, because it’s currently a cool 60 degrees in Seattle. Suckers.
Contreras Lineout with Rizzo/Brant onbase: Damn. I thought the Cubs were going to load the bases there. But Willy just got under it.
Zobrist infield hit to load the bases: Oh baby. Grand slam coming for Addy here.
Addy opposite field 3-RBI double: I just screamed a lot of intense swear words in my apartment. Let’s. Go.
Heyward RBI double: Wow. What a start here. That ball was left over homeplate, and Heyward made Weaver pay.
Bottom 1st: Cubs 4, Cards 0
Fowler singles with 2 outs: Man, I thought Lester was going to get through that inning without any base runners. But, nope.
Paul Dejong strikes out to the inning: See ya.
Top 2nd: Cubs 4, Cards 0
KB solo HR: Wow. That ball was hammered. Also, the fireworks guy set off fireworks at the park after the homer. He may not have a job anymore. I’m digging this start.
Bottom 2nd: Cubs 5, Cards 0
Addison gives chase to a ball in the stands, knocks over some dudes nachos accidently: Gross. Addy’s hand is covered in cheese. He’s gunna want more nachos judging by the look of that guy. [Update: Oh god. Nacho Man is taking interviews and signing autographs right now.]
Gyorko solo HR: Please don’t be one of those games where you think the Cubs are going to win because of the early score but then, like, they don’t.
Wong strikes out to end the inning: Alright. That’s more like it.
Top 3rd: Cubs 5, Cards 1
Willy single: Weaver looks absolutely awful so far. Hard contact. Soft contact. He’s doing it all. Also, I’m playing him in one of my fantasy baseball championships so this is all great stuff.
Javy Baez 3-run homer: OH MY. Put them bottles on ice, fam.
Top 5th: Cubs 8, Cards 1
Weaver exists the game: Just wasn’t what the Cardinals needed in terms of a starting pitching tonight. But, as they say, too bad so sad.
Bottom 6th: Cubs 8, Cards 1
Lester at 101 pitches with 2 outs: This, no doubt, is his last inning. It was incredibly encouraging to see Lester come back after some tough starts as of late.
Piscotty strikes out swinging: Boom. Way to end it.
Top 7th: Cubs 8, Cards 1
Molina gets hit twice on back-to-back pitches in the face mask and exits: That was hard to watch. Concussions are a real problem for catchers and you just hope that Molina is okay here. He’s honestly one of my favorite baseball players (don’t hate me).
Voit solo homer: Meh, still up 6. But I don't like the bullpen giving up runs in any situation. But I guess if you are going to give up a dinger, now is as good a time as any.
Top 8th: Cubs 8, Cards 2
Javy fouls a ball off his knee and goes down: Oh god. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.
Javy stays in the game: Wow, I didn't think there was going to be a chance he finished the at-bat.
Javy singles: Ha. Go figure. Pinch runner, please! ...And here comes Ian Happ.
LaStella RBI single: If you had to have one bat off the bench against a hard throwing pitcher, you want that guy to be LaStella. The guy rakes against velocity, man.
Jay RBI single: This is getting in silly territory.
Bryant walks to load the bases: Here comes a Rizz-bomb.
Rizzo grounds out to end the inning: Just kidding, I guess.
Bottom 9th: Cubs 10, Cards 2
Piscotty up with 1 out: Alright, I'm very done with Nacho Man. They're still talking about it on the telecast and it's all over Twitter. Barf.
Cubs turn a double play to end it: Cubs win, baby. Sorry, Cards. No NL Central crown this year.