So it was a very infant Friday night. The Cubs were putting the finishing touches on a very exciting win. Justin Ruggiano, who has been stuffing it up my giggy since I called him one of the worst players in the game…Ooops. Mea culpa, just drove in Asmirendy Alcantara and the Cubs had a victory over the Atlanta Braves. I was making a joyous walk over to the Southport L stop when I was hastily pulled over by the baseball cops.
"Baseball fan card and proof you've been drinking in the last ten minutes please….."
I handed him a Cubs pocket schedule- the equivalent to a bond card, and then obnoxiously breathed all over them. Needless to say I passed.
"Do you know why we pulled you over sir?
"Nary a clue" I retorted.
"You seem to be celebrating the victory a little too hard sir. Just want to make sure you understand that wins aren't necessarily a good thing and that you're in accordance with the "Big Plan".
Yes, the Big plan. You build up prospects through the draft and then in a few years, when the scoreboard and the TV deals have positioned the Cubs with tons of Cash, then you make your move. and win numerous titles on end…"
"Sounds like a hell of a plan."
It is. So until then, no cheering please…..
"But this was just one game. This didn't affect their draft position in the least. What if I just enjoy the victory till I get on the train. Then the obnoxious lady who won't get off her cell phone will depress me. Just to the train stop…..please. I don't ask much.
"Sorry sir. Gonna have to insist that you don't cheer at all. If you cheer, then she cheers. She cheers then they cheer. Before you know it, it's legitimately fun up in here. Then what? Winning streaks? People calling for FA signings over the winter…… Anarchy.
" I suggested they should try and acquire a hitter at this year's deadline….. Like Colby Rasmus-"
" I SHOULD HAVE YOU LOCKED UP FOR JUST THINKING THAT!!!!!!!! You listen up and you listen up good. You think draft pick son. Not just draft pick.But Draft pick pool allocation money…..now you say that back to me.
Isn't that like just a couple hundred thousand dollars- the equivalent to a HS pitcher or something….?"
"SAY. IT. BACK. TO. ME."
I was getting tired. And I had to pee. "Sigh. Draft pick pool allocation money."
"That's better. Here's your schedule. You have a nice night….."
But officer." I countered. "Wasn't this victory the result of "building through the draft" and thus a verification that the Big plan is working……? Am I not showing that I'm supporting the big plan by going when they lose and supporting the players that are going to be here when the Cubs are a competitive club?
"That's for the Lawyers. All I'll tell you is that you're bringing sense and logic into it. And when you do that, you're gonna get yourself in trouble. Unless you're gonna totally neanderthal it, stay behind and "Sing 'Go Cubs Go', go to Sluggers and have a pitching machine brake you in the nuts, you're gonna be considered a fairly intelligent baseball fan. And right now, we can't have fairly intelligent baseball fans cheering after Cubs wins…"
There was a long pause. I might have been broken. I might have fallen asleep. I'm not sure.
"I hear ya officer. I'll try and keep it stupid. Here? How about this?" I started to soil myself.
The officer smiled. "That's what we like to see…."
Odds and Sodds.
Gasol strikes me as a much cheaper Carlos Boozer panic plan B move. He would have been a great move if they got him from Memphis back in the day…..where does he play? Down low where Taj is. At the Elbow where Noah is. Is Thibs even gonna let him see the floor if he feels like he needs a stop or two? I guess it's interesting. But I don't see where they got better.
Don't get me wrong. I love having Asmirendy Alcantara on the team. Although I'm more psyched about the 2015 version. But a lll these people that want to just throw Darwin Barney to the fishes….this was his last play before going on paternity leave There's value in that.
I'm listening to Elvis Costello's "My Aim is True" as my Sunday music.
And I'm trying to decide if the new Effed up album is a classic or someone trying too hard…… I'm afraid it's the latter. Comes with the territory when you name your band Effed up.
I noticed the vitriol has been cranked up on Edwin Jackson. And he hasn't been good. But I'm not sure what he's done to get all the vitriol. He I'snt blocking anyone. You would have signed the same contract. Maybe because Shark and Hammel are gone his starts have bigger spotlights? Maybe. Anyway, Can't help but notice….
Shark vs.the King Friday night was as cool as it got baseball wise.