If you spend more than two minutes with me, you learn pretty quickly that I'm a huge dork. I'm not hating on my fellow nerds of the world (except the ones that only exist thanks to a laugh track), because I wear my dork-dom as a badge of honor. I know what I love and what I love is some history, Game of Thrones, and any story that's been written over 2,000 years ago.
Now, I don't completely hide out in a hobbit hole and translate ancient texts 24/7. During the week, I try to keep Middle Schoolers from making bad decisions (Today a kid Googled "boobs" on a school computer.........and the Tech Department hadn't yet put up a website blocker. Awesome.), and on the weekends I like to kick back with all the different Chicago craft brews I've come to appreciate since moving here. It was during one of these alcohol appreciation moods that I started thinking about how so many historical events could be narrated with an appropriate adult beverage: The Great Potato Famine with a shot of potato vodka.....The Trojan War with a Slippery Nipple.....Any flood ever with a Coors Light, etc., etc. Since people like to take their drinking on the move with themed bar crawls anyway, why not combine a few of my favorite things and create a bar crawl that focuses on the history of this great city? The plans are still in their infancy, but so far I've come up with the following agenda:
*Take a shot of Fireball at the site of the O'Leary farm
Historical Significance: This one's too obvious
*Gulp down a swig of moonshine on Lower Wacker Drive
Historical Significance: Prohibition and the underground liquor trade
*Share a fish-bowl drink with friends (or by yourself. No judgement) at the site of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Historical Significance: Bugs Moran's crew sleepin' with the fishes
*Class up the former Levee District with a flute of champagne
Historical Significance: Getting Leighed at the Everleigh Club
*Have a Coors Light on the Michigan Ave. bridge overlooking the Chicago River
Historical Significance: Celebrate the reversal of water with an ice cold water. That joke never gets old....
*Do a Car Bomb in Haymarket Square
Historical Significance: The Haymarket Riots (Okay, that one was probably insensitive...)
*Chug an Old Style outside of Wrigley Field
Historical Significance: The celebration of the World Ser-.... never mind.
*Sip a White Cloud on the steps of the Museum of Science and Industry
Historical Significance: The "White City" of the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition
*Cheers a fellow Bears fan with an ice-cold Screwdriver at Soldier Field
Historical Significance: Da 1985 Champs
Want to see any sites and drinks added to the list? Leave your ideas in the comments below, and I'll add your ideas to the final agenda! Oh, you didn't know that I was serious about this endeavor? I guess that'll teach you to never doubt a nerd. So who's comin' with me????
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