A Different Kind of Windy City Bucket List

Gotta be honest with you, I hate the phrase "bucket list".  There's just this sense of finality to it that negates an admirable attempt to genuinely enjoy your surroundings.  That, and it conjures up images of Jack Nicholson's eyebrows.  ::Shudder::  So why include a phrase I dislike in my headline?  Well, "Checklist" sounded a little too excel-ish, "Roll Call" too penal-esque, "Docket" too Law and Order, and "Agenda" made me think of shoulder pads.   So until Thesaurus.com comes up with something fun yet common like "Jazz hands and aerobic spandex level of awesome" list, I'm stuck with the "bucket list".  Might as well make it an interesting one.

I'm all about maximizing my time in different places by visiting museums and partaking in the local food and culture, but I'm also  in search of the experiences that are sliiiiightly off the beaten path.  "Right.  Everyone says that."-Haters.  "Can YOU claim that you've done an impression of the Swedish Chef while in Stockholm?"-me.  "Point taken"-Haters.  I've done my fair share since I've been back in Chicago (See "The Return of the Prodigal Daughter"), but this is a pre-tty big city and there's a lot of ground to cover.  So, let's see.... what do I still need to accomplish?

  • Take a selfie at the site of the St. Valentine's Day massacre

Check!

Check!

  • Play sand volleyball at North Ave Beach....... with Iceman and Maverick

Or this guy because he knows how to strike a pose

Or this guy because he knows how to strike a pose

  • Pretend to be eaten by that wire whale on Lake Shore Drive

Ugh. Whales are the worst.

Ugh. Whales are the worst.

  • Drink a pint of Guinness at Mrs. O'Leary's barn

  • Ride a tricycle around the parking garage in Marina City

I'd own those bitches

I'd own those bitches

  • Wear a beanie, flannel, and black-rimmed glasses while drinking coffee in Wicker Park

I better start growing my beard.

I better start growing my beard.

Who brought the guy in black?

Who brought the guy in black?

  • Hijack a German-American parade.... with song

Danke schoen

Danke schoen

Already registered. Besides, I need the mustache for my hipster costume.

Already registered. Besides, I need the mustache for my hipster costume.

  •  Photoshop the Trump Tower to look like the Narwhal in Elf

The similarities are... uncanny

The similarities are... uncanny

  • SCHWING! in Aurora

Hi... I'm in... Delaware

Hi... I'm in... Delaware

 

No fries.... chips.

No fries.... chips.

  • Make friends with whoever owns that helicopter-equipped yacht and throw a raging yacht party

And I plan on wearing that bikini that's fourth from the left

And I plan on wearing that bikini that's fourth from the left

  • Find out the advertising budget for Polekatz

Because these ads are EVERYWHERE

Because these ads are EVERYWHERE

  • Sing the "Babysitting Blues" at the Silver Dollar Club

No one leaves here without singing the blues.

No one leaves here without singing the blues.

I have only one month until school starts up again, so I better get my ass a'movin... What other boxes do I need to check off my Windy City bucket list? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

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