Scandal Recap: We Do Not Touch the First Ladies

Scandal Recap: We Do Not Touch the First Ladies

Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you haven’t seen Scandal Season 3, Ep. 12 – “We Do Not Touch the First Ladies.”

“One, I am not a hen. Two, I am not a prize at the state fair. You can’t win me.”  —Olivia.

This week’s episode featured quite a lot of potential paramours lurking outside rooms while women argued with President Grant. It also marked the first time those potential paramours looked a hell of a lot more appealing than the leader of the free world.

While Fitz handled his disappointments and betrayals by yelling and screaming like a petulant child, Jake and Andrew stood by their women’s sides and supported them with quiet, absolute adoration. Keep, your steamy oval office hook-ups, I’ll take reputation and life saving heroics any day.

But while the President quarreled with his many women, the unsupervised republic got itself into all kinds of trouble.

In an attempt to thwart Publius, (In case anyone else was wondering about the historical significance, Publius means “friend of the people” and was one of four Roman aristocrats who led the overthrow of the monarchy. At least according to wikipedia) Cyrus enlisted the help of Charlie to “deal” with the source in a set up meeting. David offered to take the meeting for James and for his trouble found himself in a trunk with a bag over his head. Luckily, it was just Abby and Harrison saving him in the most terrifying way possible. This is was passes as love in Shondaland.

But that wasn’t even the most trouble Cyus caused. During his power play with Harrison, he allowed Adnan Salif back into the country. And tonight the known criminal was revealed to be working with none other than Mama Pope herself. So to recap, the president released a known terrorist back into the public and then his chief of staff allowed her accomplice back into the country. And they think the biggest problem for the campaign is some oxy?

Just in case the Grant administration fails in sinking itself, Papa Pope is on the case as well. Olivia suspected that her father was behind the drug leak. There is hard evidence that shows Rowan is working with Leo, but I think when Rowan takes a swing it’ll land a lot harder than a decades old drug scandal that can easily be Poped away.

Despite the unfortunate almost meeting with the reporter, David and James finally realized that in today’s world warrants and legalities are a nonissue.  You slay your opponent in the court of public opinion then worry about the actual courts later. They decided to give the NSA tape of Sally admitting to killing her husband over to the press, but I say really take this plotline into the 21st century and release the recording onto the internet themselves. Don’t wait for a journalist to write the story, make the story and let every journalist write about it.

A Few Last Thoughts:

I guess we know how Papa Pope knew about Olivia and the president. The B6-13 “agent on the inside” revealed himself as the secret service guy whose always lurking outside doorways and pretending he doesn’t see all the deeply inappropriate things going on around him. Well he has seen it and he’ll be presorting it all to Jake.

In case you were wondering what Doyle has been up to for the last season and a half, it wasn’t becoming a decent human being. He’s playing both sides of the Republican Party for his own gain, whatever that means this time around.

So Quinn is going to die, right? I really can’t foresee any other way out of this messy plotline.

Olivia lecturing Mellie on ending an alleged affair with Andrew was rich. I give Mellie a lot of credit for not slapping her. But going ahead and making out with Andrew anyway is kinda the same thing. You get it, girl. It’s about damn time some one looked at you like a lovesick puppy.

I’m guessing by the season finale the “baby masking” techniques will involve shooting Kerry Washington from around a corner, 20 yards away.


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Filed under: Scandal, TV; Recaps

Tags: ABC, Scandal

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