Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you haven’t seen True Blood Season 6, Ep. 1 – “Who Are You, Really?”
“That’s the sickest thing I’ve seen on TV. And I watch Dance Moms.” – Lafayette
The title of this episode posed a valid question, but it, along with many others, was never really answered.
This season picked up right where the last left off: the rise of Billith. But what is Billith? Who knows, certainly not Bill. He has some super cool new powers, including the ability to survive a stake to the heart, but he has as much control and understanding of them as I do of trigonometry (i.e. very little). Although, for all his bloody hellfire and cruel summoning of Jessica, the short tempered, Lilith blood obsessed Bill of last season has been replaced with the kind, gentle Bill Compton of seasons past. At least for now, because who knows what those three Lilith figures jumping into him meant. Certainly not me.
The other big question trubies have been debating all winter, who is this Warlow fella, was equally unsatisfactory. We learned that the vampire most likely responsible for killing Mama and Papa Stackhouse is a progeny of Lillith herself and that he enjoys picking up hitchhikers. Well, as long as the hitchhiker is Jason Stackhouse, just waiting to tell his life story to the creepiest old man who’ll stop for him. For the supposed “big bad” of the season it wasn’t all that bad.
I’m just gonna point out, if you have to tell someone “I’m not the big bad”, you probably are. In that case the villain to watch out for in season six is Louisiana governor Truman Burrell. After basically outlawing vampirism Gov. Burrell turned around and struck up a deal the manufactures of TruBlood to help them produce their synthetic blood and keep the vampires of Louisiana well fed and docile once again. On the surface it sounds like an excellent deal, but something about him tells me he might have more sinister plans on his agenda. Or perhaps it was the previews for the rest of the season in which he said “I want to exterminate your race”. Yeah, that might have something to do with this premonition, too.
In actually interesting, a.k.a. Sookie and Eric, news, it was a sad, sad day for team Eric. After Sookie staked Bill in order to save Eric and Eric wrote in his own blood in order to give Sookie back her house, Sookie promptly rescinded her invitation to her house and Eric was sucked outside. It was touching and romantic and ultimately very silly. Sookie may think she’s putting all this vampire drama behind her, but if she was actually serious about that she might move out of the super vamp’s backyard. Eric and Sookie will be reunited. And it will be glorious. You heard it here first, folks.
In secondary plot news:
- Andy wasn’t taking too kindly to being a father to four newborn fairies, but after a lovely talk with Arlene he stood up the challenge. But, as soon as he mastered the art of diaper changing his four little newborns were four little toddlers. I guess its true; they do grow up so fast. But hey, congrats on skipping the terrible twos! Side Note: Did Sookie grow up that quickly? Why has no one ever mentioned that?
- Luna did in fact die, but clearly even the writers understood no one would care enough to make it a part of last season’s epic finale. Sam took Emma back to the bar and she got a fine dose of Lafayette (the best cure for any ailment, even being orphaned), but it looks like Sam is planning on running away with her. Finally, someone uses some common sense!
- Werewolves and Joe Manganiello’s butt. That about sums that one up. Please let it never change.
What say you, fellow trubies? Did the premiere live up to expectations? Is new showrunner Brian Buckner brining the show back early seasons greatness?
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