Category: Aging Parents

The Weight Long Term Care Cannot Withstand

In my sophomore year of high school, I remember a physics assignment in which groups of us competed to build a bridge out of balsa wood which could withstand increasing weight placed by the teacher.   I recall our teacher pulling out a sample of balsa wood, which created gasps within the entire classroom as... Read more »

Hero's Work Here: Too Little, Too Late

I am thrilled to see the community acknowledgment of the health care workers who are struggling during these unprecedented times.  After 25 years in the industry, it is nice to finally see billboards, printed signs and hand made posters applauding that “Hero’s work Here.” It is also very frustrating. On one hand, these folks have... Read more »

New Challenges in Dementia Care: The Bi-Polarization of Relationships during the Age of COVID-19

It has been very difficult for many people to adjust to the swing from one extreme to another in terms of relationships in the face of COVID.  We are so used to living in the middle, straddling the concept of complete saturation and long-distance connections. We are used to employing the help that we need... Read more »
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Walking out with more than just the fear of COVID

If a realtor’s mantra is “location, location, location!”, then anyone caring for someone living with dementia should own the mantra “approach, approach, approach!”. It is truly all in the delivery.  You can choose to let the words just randomly fall out of your mouth and hope that the listener can read minds and secretly knows... Read more »

The Joy Was Truly In The Journey

“And we’re stopping… we’re stopping… STOPPING!” I squealed as my daughter hesitated with the brakes.  It was a Sunday morning, early enough to enjoy the temperate Chicagoland weather with the windows open and very few other drivers on the road. “Relax Mom, I just started driving, like yesterday!” she responded back as I used the... Read more »

One Man's Burden Is Another Man's Opportunity

Mark visited his mom every other day religiously. Living close to the memory care facility that she resided, it was easy for him to stop by after work, during a lunch break or for brunch on the weekends. Marks father had passed away 6 months ago, and since then Marks mom had not spoken much.... Read more »
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When Life Gives You Bananas, Make Banana Bread

When I met Caroline she was a very particular lady with impeccable taste for good clothing, accessories and jewelry.  She was always dressed to the nines and appeared to have everything in her apartment in perfect order. Her organization was something to be desired as she always had her papers piled neatly, her closet tidy... Read more »

Dear Mr. Marks...

Dear Mr. Marks, Yeah, Yeah, I know. You want me to call you “Joe” or “Sarge” but I still have the hardest time bringing myself to that.  To  me you will always be Mr. Marks, always such a gentleman.  We met several years ago when you and your wife lived in an apartment above mine.... Read more »

"Remembering" Vs. Knowing And Loving

I recently watched a movie about a woman suffering with Alzheimer’s disease. Each of her caregivers handled the changes differently, yet there was a common thread that tied them all together… their frustration in not being remembered. Each of the woman’s children would pepper her with questions like “What’s my name mom?”,  “Don’t you know... Read more »
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An Allergy To Others

Let’s be honest. We are not always the best people for the job.  We may find ourselves stinking at the “parenting role” one day or really being a shitty friend.  There may even be times when we suck at our own professions, having a horrible day of screw-ups, mistakes and utter failures. This is true... Read more »