I know you're ready, I just need another minute

I get how this works. I know things are going according to plan. And I know you’re ready...

blog-college-coverI just need another minute. 

Guaranteed, there's going to be tears. 

You’ve probably seen me cry only a handful of times over the past 17 years- usually at video montages or curtain calls- but now every day feels like a continual montage that I can’t pause.

In a manner of moments I see you:
... a precocious toddler happily entertained with a pot and spatula.
.. an eager kindergartner fearless on the first day.
...a fiercely independent young woman ready to tackle the world. 

And you are ready.

I’m just not there yet. 

So, please, bear with me if I hug you a little tighter. I’m not trying to hold down your wings... I just want to keep them in my nest for another moment. 

It’s ok if you roll your eyes at my tears. They’re going to flow anyway- so best to just keep an extra tissue in your pocket for me. 

Despite what it looks like, I’m not sad just a little lost. I’m anxious to see your next chapter- but know there are many pages that I won't get to see.

I’ve never doubted that you’ll move mountains- and I worry a bit for those who try to stand in your way- they don’t yet know the strength and determination I’ve seen. 

blog-college-4But sometimes- when you have a child as independent and strong as you- you forget that they too sometimes need a shoulder for balance or an extra hand to help move that mountain. 

Wherever this next chapter takes you- my hand/shoulder/heart is always here to help you balance/push/or clear that next mountain.

All I ask is that this year you collect my tears and hugs and store them for the days when I can't just walk down the hall to your room, or belt out a duet with you in the kitchen.

The first eleven years of school flew by, these next 525,600 minutes (give or take a few) of senior year will surely pass in a blink.

I know that you're eager to walk across that stage and move on to your next chapter. I know that you're more than ready for life's next adventure.

I'm just gonna need another minute.

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