Throughout my whole life, I've had a constant stalker that some would term a level five static clinger. No matter where I go, what I do, or how I view myself, this pesky little devil refuses to release their grip on me. Sometimes, they even leave their mark on me in the form of those lovely little things called Love Handles.. which I've never understood calling them that term since I never love them, nor do I view them as a handle to hold onto.
After countless years of losing, gaining, losing, and gaining weight... I've recently decided in my late 30s to stop dieting. While I think one should always watch what they eat, the methods I used to diet in order to lose weight and be at a 'healthy weight' were methods that didn't result in long term success.. only in short-term success. In some ways, I think the constant yo yo effect probably is doing more harm to my body.
When I sit back and think about the reasons why I subject myself to such torture, I realize I don't do it for myself.. but to get approval and attention from society at large. I figure if I can't act 'acceptable', then why not try to fit the mold that is acceptable.. especially in the gay culture where surface generally gets rewarded over substance. For those that think I'm generalizing, I would suggest taking a look at Grindr and other apps that prove my very point. Yes, there are exceptions.. but the general rule is that Surface trumps substance in many cases.
Since I no longer date, or have much interest in sex, I figured earlier this year that I was going to stop trying to eat small meals nor work out like a mad person. I'd rather wear loose clothing, go without a belt (which feels like I'm being suffocated no matter my size), and wear comfortable shoes. The upside of hitting the sunset years of your 30s is that you have a certain freedom from trying to keep up with everyone else.. and you can be more yourself (in social settings, not in professional settings.. but that's a topic for another day).
I know one has to work out for lung capacity, keeping arthritis at bay, and lowering the risk of heart disease, etc... but if you have the genetic predisposition of heart failure, diabetes, etc... you are pretty much going to get it in some way or another.. so why not just work out for enjoyment. This is why I take up biking on non rainy days because I love the wind blowing in my hair (and it's an inexpensive way to have a blow out with shelling out the money).
In conclusion, I'm so done with dieting and hope to try to find a balance between yummy good, yummy drinks, and physical fitness so that I don't blow all my money on new clothes.