So as I sit here early in the morning still adjusting to daylight savings time, I can't help thinking back over the years of my dating career. The things one thinks of when the body clock is out of whack, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't :) One of the most interesting fall outs of a first date is the art of ghosting. For those that don't know, it's the practice of vanishing completely from someone's life without so much as a good-bye. Most of the time, you can spot the signs during the first date that this will happen, but every so often it can happen when you least expect it.
This happened to me back in the summer of 2016, when someone messaged me on Grindr from the suburbs! Looking back, I didn't know how he was able to message me from 30 miles away from the city until I realized he probably used the filter feature on Grindr. The ironic thing was this particular gentleman came from Naperville and had lived there for several years (I had lived there for awhile and found myself thinking where he had been hiding while I lived there).
After a thirty minute chat, he asked me out on a date and even offered to drive into the city during the weekend so we could go on this date. Flash forward a few days later, and we come to the day of the date where there were massive thunderstorms on that day. To my surprise, he didn't cancel and actually drove the 30 miles from the suburbs to the city in the midst of a massive thunderstorm. If my nerves hadn't been at an all time high, they would have been after this since I'm not the type of guy that a guy would drive miles in horrible weather to go on a date with.
He arrived for our date within an hour and we had a wonderful dinner at a great restaurant in Andersonville where we talked about our families, lives, and personal philosophies. During a calm period weather wise, we took a nice walk up and down the Andersonville strip.. even stopping for some ice cream before resuming our walk. After a three hour date, we exchange numbers and agree to keep in contact (with me even stating I would make the trek out to Naperville next time).
So he leaves and even sent me a text to let me know he got home safely (another storm had come upon us). After another day or two of texting, I decided to ask him out on a second date and I let him know I could come out to Naperville for the date. He said to me it would be great to see one another again and would let me know when would he would be free.. and without warning, he vanished like a ship vanishing over the horizon.
After sending another text to him, I decided to wait 48 hours for a response and when I didn't get a response, I deleted his number figuring he knew my number and would respond if interested (he never did). At first, I figured something might have happened until he popped up on my Grindr as being nearby a week later. I decided it best not to approach him and he never approached me so I concluded it wasn't meant to be.
So in conclusion, don't assume a first date is a winner because even if all the elements are in place on your end doesn't mean it's a two way street. It was a nice date and renewed my belief that there are semi-sane guys out somewhere in the great beyond.
Filed under: The Grindr Monologues