Let me tell you. Finding a decent guy after school, either high school or college is NOT easy. Holy shit. If I knew this, I would have been much less of a bitch to the guys that liked me back in the day. That’s another story for another day, though.
What are your options?
Through a friend? At work? At the gym? At the bar? None of these have seemed to work out thus far.
So I’m going to try a method that worked for Sandra Bullock’s character in the movie Practical Magic. Poor girl had a curse on her. Guys who love her, well they die. My curse isn’t this serious. Guys who love me don’t die, but how would I know since I can’t find one!
Sandra’s character, Sally, actually wrote a list of qualities down to AVOID ever falling in love. This list of qualities was so rare that she didn’t believe he existed. SPOILER ALERT. Really? This movie is like a gazillion years old people. The guy shows up and well they fall in love. You’ll have to watch the movie to see if he dies.
So you say that’s fictional so it doesn’t really work. I say, it could work. I call it the Diana method after a college roommate I had. She told me she was going to join ROTC, meet a guy, drop out of ROTC, he’d get stationed overseas, come back, then they would get married. Would you believe that all happened? In that order? That’s right folks.
Then I was talking to an American friend of mine who I met in Costa Rica who has kept in touch. She met her husband, who I also met in Costa Rica, after writing down a list of 10-15 qualities she was looking for in a man. Some included being foreign, enjoying traveling, caring more about experiences than things. And she found him.
Maybe there is more power to knowing exactly what you want than we realize. I can see why. By writing the list, we can figure out what we want. We will waste less time on guys that will never live up to our standards. We will hopefully recognize those things early on.
The friend I met in Costa Rica, wrote her 10-15 down on a piece of paper and stashed it away and forgot about it. Me? I’m going to write it, right here, for the world to see. Some I took from my friend’s list because they were perfect. Some I came up with myself. Some will sound picky. Some will sound too general. Some may make you scratch your head. What’s important is they are important to me.
I must also note that it’s important to keep it around 10 and no more than 15. If you get over this number, you’re going to be like Sally from Practical Magic. Grow up, your life isn’t a movie, and a prince isn’t going to show up to sing a duet with you. Sorry, but truth.
My list in no particular order:
- Wants something serious
- Good hygiene
- Steady job
- Supportive during hard times
- Tolerates my music, even if it’s not enjoyable
- Values experience over stuff
- Values living over working
- Wants a child one day
- Wants to end up living in Chicago suburbs
- Wants to travel
I invite you to comment below (like FAR down below) and share some traits you think are important in a mate. Also- Subscribe below! I will be posting stories about how others have met post school and hopefully one day, blogging on how knowing what I wanted helped me
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