As I type this blog entry, my wonderful neighbors that I have so much admiration for, not, are arguing. Loudly. At 10:21PM while their two children scream on the top of their lungs and the dogs are running in circles.
I can’t quite pick up what they are talking about but I repeatedly here the phrase “grow up.” They are probably in their mid to late 20’s though I couldn’t say for sure.
It has me thinking one thing in particular. Well two things, why do so many beings live in a one bedroom apartment and what is grown up?
This is an age old question (get it?) I’m sure. I mean at one point is one grown up? What makes someone a grown up? Does having kids make you a grown up?
I don’t feel like a grown up. I never have. It’s made me feel abnormal. Everyone else seems to have their shit together. They get to work on time, every day. They get married. They take care of their kids. They walk their dogs. They go grocery shopping for healthy food. They go to dinner at fancy restaurants. The list goes on of what other people do, that makes me feel un-adult-like.
I don’t know what it is. I mean, I have a good job. Not my dream job by any means but a job I enjoy going to, allows me to support myself and challenges me. Does that make me an adult?
I have my own apartment. I bought a new car. I have a tv. Does spending money make me an adult?
When I was a kid, I remember dreaming about all the things I would do when I grew up. I mean, my parents weren’t strict and I never truly felt like I had to get out from under their thumb or anything, but I just couldn’t wait to be my own boss. HA. That never happens. You trade out your parents for a resident assistant and college professors. Then you trade them out for a boss, a landlord and banks you owe student loan money to.
Every kid wants to be a grown up as soon as possible. Most grownups just want to shirk their responsibilities. Does having responsibilities make you a grown up?
I don’t see many movies, but I’m a sucker for Netflix movie marathons on the weekend. During one of the movies I watched, Liberal Arts, I heard a quote that resonated with me. “No one feels like an adult. It’s the world’s dirty secret.”
I think that is true. I think as kids and even adults, we set ourselves up for this mindset that just doesn’t exist. As far as the mind goes, I’m not sure there is such a thing as being an adult.
Maybe being an adult is just having the ability to control impulse. I would love to sleep in every day. Not work. Not do my homework. I would like to scream and cry when I have to do something I don’t want to but I don’t. Does that mean I’m an adult?
Maybe we should speak to our kids differently and even ourselves differently. Maybe we need to be okay with spending Sundays in the same clothes we went to bed in the night before, on the couch watch Netflix movies. Maybe we need to stop trying to be something, you know an adult, and just live in the moment. When we have to work, work. When we get to play, play.
Being responsible sucks enough. Why do I have to try to live up to some perception of adulthood as well?
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