You cannot save everyone, especially if they have an addiction

I’m one of those people that like to fix things. While we were standing around my Grandmothers hospice bed this past week, I kept working. I walked the room comforting people. I passed out tissues. I fetched sandwiches and sodas to make sure people were eating.

I did comfort them I know it. That situation was easy. I know what people need when they are sad. They need comfort.

When there are two homeless little tailless cats that need a home? I take them in. I know what they need.

When a friend at work is having a stressful day? We take a walk to vent.

When it comes to people who have addictions it can be more difficult. They have to want to help themselves.

There seems to be this fine line between enabling and helping as well. Me? I’m a helper. It’s hard to say no to anyone even when they aren’t meeting me half way, hell even a fourth of the way.

I’ve had a lot of addiction around me in my 29 years. I’ve learned about addiction while getting bachelors in psychology. It’s a difficult topic.

You don’t know what they want.

You don’t know what they need.

You don’t know how to help.

And that’s okay. I’m learning that you have to keep treating yourself as number one. If you don’t, you will be the one needing help.

If you are helping an addict by doing things for them, paying their bills, giving them a place to live, covering for them, lying for them, lying to yourself, looking the other way, ignoring the problem, etc. you are doing them no favors. You are not helping them.

They need to find a way to dig themselves out of their hole. If they don’t have to do that, they are never going to get better.

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Filed under: Causes

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