Tinder: Not Just for Hookups?

Tinder: Not Just for Hookups?

I won’t lie. I did not want to write about Tinder again but I seem to have some sort of fascination with the app. I wrote on the subject twice before (see here and here) and they were some of my best-received blogs. In fear of becoming “the Tinder girl,” I haven’t written about it again until now.

So the app is pretty much the perfect set up to find someone close to you at any given moment. It gives you no real specifics to see if you’re a match for a person. Just pictures, a short snippet, an age and how far away they are right now.

Doesn’t seem like the right formula to create lifelong matches, right? I didn’t think so. It seems better for finding someone close, in an acceptable age range, who also happens to be attractive. What do we think that is good for? Hmmm. Let me state for the record (and because my grandparents and parents read this- Love you guys!), I do not use Tinder for purposes outside of research for my blog and a time killer.

To me, Tinder just seems like some big time waster. We sit on the app when we are waiting for a train, waiting for a friend, can’t fall asleep at night etc. But how often do you talk to someone on there? I did an experiment a few weeks back where I swiped yes to about 100 guys in a row. I didn’t discriminate. Everyone got a yes. Over the following week, I got plenty of matches but only three people messaged me. Luck would have it, they were all creeps.

But not everyone has this luck. Not everyone uses it just to pass the time. Some people use it because it takes less time than setting up a Match.com or eHarmony profile. It’s easy, fast, and can be fun! And unlike me, who seems to only attract creeps, some of my girlfriends have found guys worthy of stepping out and going on a date.

I have a good friend who I’ve known 10+ years. She has gone on a few dates off of Tinder. A few not so great, but two have gone well. So well, in fact, that she ended up dating them for a few weeks! I should catch up and see if she’s still talking to either of them. Apparently, they weren’t creeps that were just after sex. Not something I would expect from Tinder dates.

Another good friend of mine has gone on two dates that I know about with gentlemen she met off Tinder. One went so well that she later introduced me to him. I was taken aback to find out he was genuinely interested in getting to know her. He was polite, interesting, had a decent job, and treated her with respect. Mind. Blown.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not putting any stock in the dating app for putting together long-term relationships. I still think these two lucked out, however, maybe we shouldn’t write it off completely.

Just please, please remember to meet in a public place. Tell a family member, roommate or friend where you are meeting and when. Give them a call afterward to let them know how it went (and that you weren’t murdered… I watch too much CSI). Be safe about it. Meeting someone online is okay and how quite a few couples are meeting these days but that doesn’t mean it’s without risk.

Be smart, be safe and Tinder on!

 

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Filed under: Dating

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