My exclamation should be noted. I really got ht by a real car. I never thought I would utter those words. Since I ended up with a bruised foot and no broken bones I have decided it is more appropriate to say a car bounced off of me. I am some sort of super hero. I am made of steel.
I know it sounds ridiculous so please allow me to explain. I had foot surgery a couple of months ago so there were already some issues going on there. I use a knee roller which is like a scooter but my leg is bent in the kneeling position to prevent me from putting pressure on my healing foot.
The day started like most. I endured traffic getting into work. The only difference is that day was election day. Yes I am a little behind but SO much has happened. Anyway, I was rolling into work and I was crossing the street. I had the right of way and the WALK sign was illuminated. I do not know if there is a different sign for to follow but I attempted to cross the street. It was the first time in my life that my attempt was thwarted.
As I crossed I noticed a car turning right on red which is cool usually except I was in the way. I had to think quick. If I tried to go back my whole self would have gotten hit. My only option (which makes it not an option) was to try to scoot faster. That is when it happened. The car hit my foot! My already recovering foot!
I was in shock. It took a second to realize what actually happened. I was one of the unlucky few to actually get hit by a car. Apparently the driver took little time to notice what happened because as soon as she realized she actually hit and actual person with her actual car she drove off. I do not even recall if she stopped to ask if I was okay. I guess I get it. I mean hitting an actual person with your actual car is scary. Wait... nope I do not get it. Yes you might encounter some problems when you hit an actual person with your actual car but as humans shouldn't we care about each other more?
She drove off. All I could tell was that it was a woman with glasses. I had no time to get any information on the car. I went into work, still in shock. The pain had not set in. I started to work and I started to feel an awful pain in my foot. I called my fiancee and I started to cry because I realized if I hesitated it could have been a full body hit. I do not know what could have happened but the gravity of what DID happened finally set in.
I told her I did not think I could drive because of all the pain so she picked me up from work and took me to the ER. I was lucky? because nothing was broken. The doctor told me it was badly bruised and it was. It hurt and it still hurts but I am alive.
I do not know what possessed the person to drive off but karma is an unforgiving bitch.
All I know is I came home and relaxed my foot while I watched election coverage. Trump won. Suddenly getting hit by a car was the second worst thing that happened to me that day. I am glad I am a comedian. It is easy for me to laugh at almost anything that happens to me. Now I have jokes about getting hit by a car.
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