I cannot find my funny

I cannot find my funny
Where has my funny gone?

I have been in a creative slump. Be it blogging here or writing new material for my stand up comedy my creativity is on strike. The latter of the two concerns me the most. I love being a comedian. When i started years ago i never imagined it wams more than just a pipe dream.

Yet here I am.

For a comedian who has only a little success the summers are usually for open mics trying out new material or fine tuning old material. For me the summer has been home repairs, starting a new job, and not thinking of new jokes. Okay that isn't fair, I have thought of jokes but I often forget to write them down and then they get lost in my mental junkyard. Sometimes they return in a moment of greatness other times they are never heard from again.

It is not that I believe it will not return. I know it will it is just the in between part that sucks. It is like being a carpenter with hammer and nails but not having plans to build upon. It is like being a hairdresser and deciding on a pony tail. I have what I need I just lack ideas. I lack a premise. Writing jokes is one thing but writing jokes that are funny is totally different.

I have too much respect for comedy to just settle for mediocre jokes. I have too much respect for myself as a comedian to settle for the easy jokes about farts and poop. I think I have to stop trying to be funny. I have never tried to be funny before. I am just funny.

I have thought of leaving it behind. I have never really considered it and never for longer than a moment but it is a monster that lurks sometimes. The truth is I cannot leave. I am a comedian. It is not just something I can walk away from. It is who I am. My insides get mushy even now when people call me a comedian. I am just in a rut. I will find my way out and new jokes will find their way into my life. I just have to be patient.

I am a fucking comedian damn it!

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Tags: comedian, comedy, funny, Jokes, stand up

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