A short while ago I wrote about my want to be Eddie Vedder's best friend. I will be honest with you what I thought was reality almost set in and I thought it might be implausible. I mean he is Eddie Vedder lead singer of iconic band Pearl Jam and I am soon to be world renown blogger slash comedian, Patrick O'Hara. Yeah I typed out the slash because it sounds cooler when you say slash read it.
So right I had almost given up hope.
Until my lovely fiancée searched for Eddie Vedder's best friend. The image at the top of this post is proof. The first image you see? Me! The first non-image result? This here blog. Pay no mind to the other images they are not relevant. A busy dude like Ed, yep, we are so tight that I call him Ed, has time for just one best friend. I didn't declare it Google did. Most people who like news about Eddie Vedder and his best friend trust Google.
I understand some might ask big E, also something I am only allowed to call him, and he might deny it. It is okay I don't have to prove it to anyone and I've asked him not to confirm it because I like my privacy. This blog doesn't serve as me trying to prove it or beg but to boast that I was right and I might be a little better than some of you.
I am worried now that it is Google official I am going be awfully busy with interviews. Any moment now Anderson Cooper and Debra Norville will be requesting hour long specials. I'm making it known now we aren't doing interviews or specials. Jealous types will say I sound like a stalker or I'm delusional. To those people I thumb my nose at you.
He likes to surf. I'm learning to surf. Surfing on lakes is nearly impossible but I've been watching some great tutorials on YouTube. Judging by how well I've been doing in the neighbors' pool while they are at work I'm keeping balance pretty well. That is really all surfing is, catching a gnarly wave then balancing, brah. Brah is a term used by surfers and is applicable to both men and women.
You might wonder what my favorite Pearl Jam song is. Well it has not been written yet. Ed will ask me at some point to help him write it. I shouldn't really be writing about it but there will be so many rumors after the Google results go public. I did not make them public it was bound to happen after election season was over and after the Kardashians become too basic for anyone to care.
I wish I could go back in time and tell 14 year old me he would think this was bitchin' news. I sometimes wish it wasn't true because whenever I go out in public I have to disguise myself because I hear the whispers speculating if I am Eddie's best friend. I have a joke he think is hilarious sometimes when I wake up my hair is long and wavy I tell him I woke with Ved-head he laughs for so many whole seconds.
Yeah it is pretty awesome being Eddie Vedder's best friend. In fact I'll use mine and my fiancées favorite expression to express how rad it is.
It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this.
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