Before Alex From Target There Was Patrick From Target

Before Alex From Target There Was Patrick From Target
i don't have a picture from my Target days so I drew you a picture.

In a previous life not too long ago I was trying to make my mark in radio. It took longer than expected so I decided to get a job at Target. Well I didn't but my ex wife really felt strongly that I should for the employee discount.

It is not all the glitz and glamour it appears to be (yeah I spell it the U way because I like it and I think I appear smarter). It is not a bad job but my radio dreams were a far cry. The closest I might have gotten is using the overhead speaker because little Tommy is lost can his mother and/or father come fetch him?

Now there's this smug gent Alex from Target. He might not be smug but for the purposes of making myself look better he is. I was a stocker. That is all I did for 6-8 hours on the days I didn't call off. Stocking was okay except if you had to take inventory, especially in the freezer.

There was a community jacket and hat and gloves but I have a thing with germs so I brought my own but it wasn't enough to fight the elements. Trying to find food was difficult in those conditions. I need to find curly fries.

I NEED TO FIND CURLY FRIES!!!!????

Who can find curly fries in a walk-in freezer? Go ahead and try it soon all fries look the same. Fresh faced Alex from Target would most likely never enter the freezer. Now with his internet fame he never have to. Do you really think Subway subjected Jared to actually eating Subway?

I worked with people who smoked weed. Sometimes I thought their job was to get high while I did shit. I did not smoke weed so I was not in with the in crowd. That's the story of my life. I have to cover my ass for a second. I am not suggesting everyone at Target smokes weed just the people I worked with.

I did enjoy sometimes asking customers where something was so I could stock it. Some knew I was joking some sadly did not. It is also weird to shop where you work. Just because the people stocking the Funyuns smoke weed.

On some occasions people would recognize me as my alter ego. They seemed shocked that I was off that particular day and that I also shopped there. Yes I got days off and well I had a discount. I had a discount that continued to work at Target even though I no longer did.

My beef is not with Alex from Target. You're incidental fame is inspiring. My beef is with the world that did not take my picture and post it to Twitter to kick start my radio career. I could have been famous enough to have been fired by now.

For now I will just live with the title Patrick the comedian who sometimes shops at target.

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Filed under: comedy, me.

Tags: Alex, comedy, Target

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