Crummy Jobs: Paid To Garbage Pick

Crummy Jobs: Paid To Garbage Pick
It is someone's job to make sure you are being Earth conscious.

I battled cancer when I was going to enter college again. Medical bills piled up so I decided I needed to work instead because most people are right "so and so bills won't pay for themselves".

A family friend ran a recycling plant near where I lived. It was within biking distance and sometimes I would bike there. My job was simple enough. Garbage was dumped into these large hoppers and then a conveyor would bring the garbage up the line and I would pick out anything that was not recyclable.

Yep, I was paid to garbage pick. This was not the glamorous life that you are imagining it was. There were many times I had to dodge an animal that was at one point alive but by the time I saw them they weren't. There were the times when it would be cold and snowy so my fingers would get frosty and wet which made garbage picking even less fun.

There was a time when our plant was moving and we were forced to go to a land of beer and cheese names Wisconsin. We worked 12 hour shifts 3 days a week at a plant there. There was an interesting fellow. Interesting is the kindest adjective I can use. He was a temp worker and judging by the story I am about to tell a raging alcoholic.

We were working in the plant and every single time a half filled or fully filled beer would come up the line he would take it and drink from it or put to the side to bring home. Despite our best attempts to explain to him why this was a bad idea he would insist it was okay.

He could never be too sure what the bottles were filled with. He did not care it was a risk he was willing to take just to have that chance of maybe getting a sip of sweet sweet possibly pee flavored beer.

He was an interesting dude, I'm using past tense because there is no way that guy can still be alive. I'm assuming he graduated to drinking paint thinner or sipping water outside of bars before it went down the gutter.

Occasionally I was allowed to drive the fork lift. I had no formal training and one time I turned it on its side when my load was heavier than expected. Like I said before I was not a trained driver but I was also never trained to garbage pick either.

I tried to get along with my coworkers but I could not really relate to them. They were blue collar to the bone. I was not, I don't know how to classify myself or if even have a classification but I was not long for that job.

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Filed under: comedy, me.

Tags: comedy, crummy, Jobs, money, work

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