A year ago yesterday I was mistakenly diagnosed with a stroke. Of course someone with many diseases is celebrating this anniversary. I was promptly admitted to the hospital and came to terms with the fact that my life was going to end. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted to move on I would understand.
I didn't mean it of course. I was just freaking the fuck out.
The following day I was more accurately diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. So exactly one year ago-ish. Yeah I'm not sure of the exact date, as I mentioned. I have MS.
I spent a few days in the hospital. My girlfriend was there at my side the whole time. She never wavered and I was glad for that. She held my hand and looked into my eyes and I knew everything would more than okay. My friends and family made me feel that way as well. I began my battle with MS.
So far it has been pretty hilarious.
Somehow I have convinced myself that MS is way better than having a stroke. I'm not sure how but it seems to be the mainstream disease right now. I sort of feel like I'm part of the in crowd.
I sure do get tired a lot. I feel like at one time in my life I was okay with this and with being lazy. Now it seems like being sluggish makes me tired. I feel like I spend all my energy on making coffee to fix my lethargy.
There was the very funny coffee mishap of last week. I made coffee at work. I gave it proper brewing time then checked. I poured my cup of coffee to find I made very hot water. Not at all filled with delicious caffeine. So I put coffee in the filter as I forgot to do before then started a new brew.
I forgot to empty my previous mistake of hot water and caused the pot to overflow. Yep, a lava of java. See what I did there? Lava is hot and so is coffee which is also known as java. My last pot of work coffee went just swell.
Then I went to my girlfriend's and she wanted coffee and given that I was preparing my own cup I decided to make her one as well. I would have whether or not I was making my own or not. The only problem is she has a Keurig and I did not place a cup under. Thus creating a wait for it...
Lava of Java!
Yeah I basically quit the whole coffee thing until the next morning when I nearly put buttermilk in her coffee instead of half and half. There is a big difference. The MS boy blunder needs to read labels...twice or three times.
It always feels like people I know have more treatment ideas than my doctor. I am related to exactly zero doctors but they all seem to know of some new fangled treatment option.
Well if my insurance does not approve my meds I might have to give these experiments a try.
Oh there is that whole medicine thing too. You know like how the medicine I was first prescribed made me feel worse than MS. Then the allergic reaction which helped me decide to stop taking it.
I'm a pretty good follow on social media. In a given day I can guarantee I will make a silly mistake due to MS. Be it not proof reading or just all around bad grammar. It can turn into a fun game of what did auto correct miss or why doesn't auto correct fix my grammar?
I have to laugh at all of this. I have my weak feel sorry for me moments but I try to keep them in a jar. Not a real jar but a jar inside my head that I only really open in front of my one and only because I can trust that she really digs me no matter what. I am trying every day to stay strong so I can build a future life for us.
My future success and every win is dedicated to her.
And to this.
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