Two Flat Tires And My Story Told 24 Style

Two Flat Tires And My Story Told 24 Style
Severe tire damage.

If you are a fan of 24 then you might enjoy this post. Even if you are not keep reading this is an entertaining story. The 24 theme is just the way I choosing to tell the story. The story about 2 flat tires on 2 different cars in a 12 hour span. Okay so instead of 24 it is 12...

...Also times are approximate the happenings are exact.

The following takes place between 3:15a.m. and 2:34p.m.- ish. See I was not lying about approximate times.

3:15ish a.m.- I am driving home from my girlfriend's house listening to They Might Be Giants when I hear thst unmistakeable sound of my tires not entirely in tact and not entirely filled with precious air. I pull into a Jewel parking lot to change said tire.

3:28ish a.m.- Some dude in a truck sees me struggling to loosen the nuts on the tire and asks if I am having any luck. I think to myself that I am changing a tire when I want to be sleeping. So yeah it is just pooping luck all over me.

Also I finally remember the ease of lefty loosey and righty not so loosey or something.

3:45ish a.m.- I complete the tire change and I head home.

5:07ish a.m. - 9:24ish a.m.- I am sleeping

9:25ish a.m.- I will just close my eyes for a second...

9:26ish a.m.- Snore

9:41ish a.m.- Wake in a panic and then I pee

9:43ish a.m.- Still peeing, man those morning pees take forever!

I will skip breakfast and showering before leaving the house time. Sexy? Yes. Important to the story? No. Sexy as in my English muffins were sexy? Yes.

11:11ish a.m.- I made a wish

11:13ish a.m.- I drive my truck because of the previous night's events.

11:39ish a.m.- That sounds like another flat tire

Still 11:39ish a.m.- Oh look there's my tire in the rear view and not on my car.

Still still 11:39ish a.m.- Shitfuckdamnit!!

1142ish a.m.- Just passed the 127th and Cicero exit headed north on 294 I sit on the shoulder calling AAA because I am leery of changing my tire on the expressway. I never have before.

12:15ish p.m.- An IDOT emergency employee appears and asks if I require assistance. I thank him but state AAA is on the way. I should have had him help with hindsight being what it is.

12:22ish p.m.- AAA arrives and I'm happy because soon I'll be on my way.

12:24ish p.m.- Nope, the spare underneath is secured with a lock and chain. Yes, I have the key but this is Chicago and rust has taken over. I did not put the lock on it I bought the car used. Zoinks.

12:25ish p.m.- AAA leaves because they are not equipped with lock cutters and will not "help me jimmy it out because surely if we mess with it enough we can get the tire off".. They do call a tow truck for me.

12:50ish p.m.- Tow truck arrives and I get to be a part of my first ride in a tow truck!! Every child's dream!

12:51ish p.m.- A not entirely legal U-turn that a State Trooper just misses but we are on our way.

1:20ish p.m.- Work has begun on my car. The tire is freed from the car using a lock cutter. The tire shop has fancy tools in which to quickly change my tire.

1:22ish p.m.- I paid the bill and leave. The Great Tire Ordeal of 2014 has come to an end.

2:34ish p.m.- I arrive at my girlfriend's house and in her safe, loving arms.

I am still dumbfounded that I lost two tires in a 12 hour span. I should not ever leave the house again. All is well now. It wasn't the best day but it could always be worse.

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Filed under: comedy, me.

Tags: 24, cars, driving, flat tires

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