Who Would You Hologram?

Who Would You Hologram?
If I were a hologram...

Michael Jackson was brought back to life on Sunday at the Billboard Music Awards. Well so to speak. He performed in hologram form a la Two Pack at Coachella. It was pretty creepy. Creepy even for hologramming a person who is no longer with the living.

In my opinion the whole performance was awkward. The song is okay but I was distracted by the zombie on screen. It seemed more appropriate to have him perform Thriller. Am I right?

I was left thinking the hologram should be done. It is weird. Unfortunately this is just the beginning so here are some people I would like to see in hologram form.

Jesus Christ: Yes he is the obvious choice but hear me out. I would like Jesus to appear on the Glenn Beck show and demand that he stop. Like just stop it all. After that he can go after Sean Hannity and the like.

Dinosaurs: Okay not technically not a person but imagine the fun having to make caution of dinosaurs instead of just geese all the time.

This one is courtesy of my girlfriend-

Emily Dickinson: So I could hug her. Though she'd kick my ass for hologramming her.

Walter Cronkite: It is not that news about Jay Z and Solange and any of the Kardashians isn't important, it is just missing a real professional to report it. Plus the chances of him using the word crunk increase exponentially.

The rest of the Golden Girls: How awesome would a Golden Girl reboot be with Betty White's emergence as a pop icon. You could have a Golden Girl meets The Hangover meets The Lord of the Rings. Now that is just a dream.

Abe Vigoda: I am well aware that he is among the living but seriously an army of Vigodas.

Charles Bukowski: In a world over-saturated with podcasts I am pretty sure his would be the only one to listen to. I know you are thinking he would pick blogging over podcasting but, no, you are wrong.

The old man who sold me my first ukulele for $10: I do not remember if I thanked him.

Rosa Parks: Here's the thing hologram Rosa Parks is in destructible. In my world she can bitch slap but she cannot be hurt at all. We will send her all around bitch slapping racists until racism is over.

This is only my short list of folks I would give the hologram treatment to. Would I hologram myself? Not at all, just let me be. I am leaving whatever mark I was supposed to make while I am alive. Holograms are a weird and awkward way to capitalize off the dead.

I would love to think the fad will go away but it won't. It will be around and get worse because we are a voyeuristic society. We worship celebrities and cannot let go.

Let it go.

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