Too old for selfies

Too old for selfies
If I was drunk a blurred selfie would make sense

I am a man in my thirties, yes, that time has come where I have to accept the truth. I have taken to mockingly taking selfies with friends. Recently I discovered, mockingly or not, I am just too old for certain things, like selfies or watching Dora the Explorer and getting excited when I know the answers even when it is not a rerun . I tried, probably for the last time, to take selfies at a party over the weekend. Upon reviewing what I thought were funny pictures, I discovered they were blurry and off center.

The only pictures that looked good were with people I'd just met that night and surely, until I saw them again, if ever, I would not be able to laugh and giggle at the silly selfies. Also, I cannot pull off a decent enough duck face, this is a selfie necessity. I am also too old to write "LOL" or "SMH" or "YOROSKZAQJ". I prefer to use whole words to get my point across, that is when I have a point. I do not understand why everyone is laughing out loud all the time, I appreciate your enthusiasm but all of the laughing makes me think you have gone mad.

I have been told that I am selfie-ing wrong, that selfies aren't taken with other people. I am not narcissistic enough to take a picture of myself by myself. I want you to know I have friends. I want you to know I do stuff. I have Instagram, and I post my Ansel Adams-esque pictures to social media, however, self portraits are not my thing.

It takes me far too long to get my camera situated and my thumb out of frame to take a true spur of the moment selfie with the looks of YOLO. It becomes a contrived attempt and suddenly I'm not selfie sufficient.

I can't say my selfie days are in the rear view but the days may be waning. My future party days or touristy type things will be celebrated in a more traditional way, bothering unsuspecting passersby and entrusting them with the power and responsibility of capturing the moment.

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Tags: age, comedy, Selfie

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