Quitting Smoking Sucks but I Kind of Want To

I have been a smoker for almost 20 years now, I know what you are thinking, I am too young to have smoked that long. Well thank you, but it is true. I am 34 and as much as I will miss smoking to relieve stress, something to do while driving, or to act pretentious as me and my smoker friends talk literature or art while sifting a glass of wine, I just really need to quit.

It is not as much as a need but a want. I really do hate smoking. It makes my clothes and breath smell bad and forces me outside during the cold months. Aerosmith was a lot of folk's gateway to a lot of things, for me I took my first drag off a smoke at an Aerosmith concert. I was able to wait the couple of years until I could legally smoke before falling face first into nicotine addiction then it was all downhill from there.

Quitting is not easy, in fact, this is try probably six now. There is no intervention or scared straight program to help me. All I'm left with are commercials urging me to quit and all those serve to do is stress me out and make me want to smoke a cigarette. I am using the patch and as of this writing I'm in the midst of day two. Yes, I have had cravings but I'm trying to stave them off. I am not increasing the amount of gum I chew mostly because I'm smart enough to know the difference of a sweet, amazing cigarette compared to boring old gum.

I'm quitting primarily for myself but recently I've found another reason to quit. I won't get into details but she makes me really want to. It is going to be a long battle and I'm pretty sure I'm ready. I'm too important to the world to make an early exit. We can't all be Keith Richards, a specially since I play a mediocre ukulele. I'm trying to focus on the positives. I'm saving around $30 a week not buying cigarettes and today my clothes smell like a dude that wears old spice antiperspirant.

I go back to work tomorrow and that will be the true test of will. I will be a boxer that has taken one too many uppercuts and on the ropes ready to quit quitting, I'm just going to have to do what I always do in a fight...RUN. Run away a gross, sobbing and snotty mess and just enjoy the pride I will feel of one day being a non-smoker and not judged by perfect people who don't smoke and have zero vices or addictions of their own.

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