Trying to Get On Steve Harvey

Maybe I am not good enough for the Steve Harvey Show.  Lately I have heard about a lot of my Chicagonow brethren and sisteren (not a word but should be) being contacted by the producers to come on the show.  The prevailing subject seems to be bullying.  However, even though I have posted about my past being bullied I have yet to hear from them.

I have decided to pitch ideas of my own to the show’s producers.  I figure as a rising comedian an appearance could do wonders for my career.  Also, I want to get down to business and tackle some issues.

The first idea I have would be titled “A Walking Talking Health Journal” you see, I am a diabetic cancer survivor (twice over) and I have psoriasis.  I mean come on how intriguing is that?  If they would like tears I would be willing to cry on demand.  Certainly this idea is brilliant.

Let us hit on the issue of addiction, this is a disease that can be troubling for most and almost certainly in my case.   My addiction is embarrassing and has caused strife within my family.  I cannot get enough, it is awful and some of my friends are enablers.  My addiction is “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” I have every episode on my DVR and I watch it so much I can lip sync the entire episode.  I got it bad.  I know I am not the only one.  This could be a whole week’s worth of shows.

Next idea: “I Hit My Snooze Button Too Much”.  I can talk about how my reliance on the snooze button causes me to be late for most things.  I just cannot stop, I am spoiled what can I do to stop myself from waking up too late.  I am just looking for help, I am co-dependent.

Last idea I think is my best idea ever.  The show title would be “No Shoes, No Shirt? Service Please!”  I can finally open up about my frustrations that I cannot enter some establishments without apparel on my torso and feet and get service.  Why do I get strange looks?  What did people do before shirts and shoes?  Did no one get serviced?  This archaic rule needs to be lifted so we do not feel bogged down by the rules of an establishment built for helping the fashion industry rob us of money.

This is just a short list.  I am going to end it here.  Now I sit back and wait for the calls and e-mails to roll in.

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