Putting Ted Nugent in a Stranglehold.

Ted Nugent found time in his busy schedule of hunting deer and probably organizing a militia to weigh in on the presidential election.   The master red neck tweeted “Goodluk America u just voted for economic & spiritual suicide.  Soulless fools.”  Good news is the implication that Ted Nugent does not consider himself to be a part of America anymore.  The bad news is that Ted Nugent is allowed to tweet.

Let me first congratulate Mr. Cat Scratch Fever on knowing how to use the computer.  I am guessing he left the “c” out of the somehow single word “goodluk” because to give “c’s” away is socialism.  Also I respect the opinion of anyone who finds it too tedious to type out “you”.  I mean those extra letters probably pain his fingers used for bow huntin’.  I left the “g” off because I have never heard it used when anyone speaks of the sport….sport?

Apparently millions of patriotic Americans coming out in droves to vote for whom they believe is the best candidate makes them soulless.  Some would say killing an innocent animal for pleasure is soulless.   He also mentions spirituality.  Aren’t animals a creation of God?  So in essence the Nuge is destroying God’s creation.

I am not attacking Ted because of his misguided opinion.  I am attacking Ted because I do not like him.  I never have.  I do not understand his fame.  Some say he can play guitar, well Sid Vicious played bass for the Sex Pistols but it does not mean he did it well.  Mostly because he did not know how to play it.

I wonder what Election Day at the house of Nugent is like.  I am guessing it starts with a breakfast of yesterday’s kill in his American flag briefs.  While reading the newspaper he writes for him and his future militia that is probably written in crayon.  Then he turns on the TV which only gets Fox News.  He spends a good 4 hours yelling at the TV before going out back and washing himself in his tub made out of tin.

Later, he heads out to vote, driving in his pickup that only plays “Stranglehold”.  I am sure there is a bumper sticker that reads “My other gun is my penis”.  He gets to the voting place and finds his booth then ruins the screen by writing “I em voating 4 mitt rominy”.  He goes back home and watches to his horror the results come in.  Later in the night he retires to his bedroom and snuggles with his confederate flag then sucks his thumb until he goes to sleep.

I would be okay with Ted Nugent if he would just shut his mouth.

Leave a comment