The American Day Dream

I could be cliché and quote a certain lyric about dreaming by John Lennon.  I said I could, but I won’t you all know the lyric and in a second you will find out how it relates to this blog.  I spend a lot of my open brain space on reflection.  Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing and what the hell have I done.

I am a dreamer, I dream of bigger things, I dream about my idea of the sweet life.  I spend my breaks at work staring out into the ether, I try to see myself not worrying about money.  I see myself not hating every second I spend at work.  I see myself with that certain someone, we are old we are in our home, oh and we still look this young.

I know what I want out of life and yeah I know what I need.  I need all the stuff most people need.  I need money, I need sleep, and I need insulin.  I want love, I want days spent in the arms of my love in a deep field with the grass underneath our feet.  I am not a picket fence kind of guy, they seem to require loads of maintenance.

I sometimes dream of running away, of starting over and pushing the reset button.  I sometimes think I can do it.  I even think I know where I want to go and even have in mind the person to share the new beginning with.  I am unconventional, I am driven by passion, I am driven by not wasting any more time.  One thing keeping me from running, well there are many things but my biggest worry is that people will think I lost my shit.  That I am crazy and lost, I would not be I just feel like maybe it is what I need.  I dream of it, I day dream of it.

I would not fall out of touch and I would continue to do comedy, but I am getting over playing it safe.  I need to fall and fail I need to rise and succeed.  I am not saying anything is imminent, I am just opening up my heart and letting it spill out.

I feel like I am letting the child in me down.  Not in all aspects but I am better than my life would make it seem.  I need positive changes.  In a perfect world most things would change except the people I love the people I am surrounded by, I am just tired of the letdown.  Gosh, you might be thinking I am sad or depressed, I assure you that is not the case, I am just letting my mind and fingers wander.

This is going to be an interesting week for me personally. I am embarking on a small journey and I am pretty stoked about it.  I have not decided if I will blog about it.  I just know I am hitting the road for a few hours with someone waiting at the destination.  The end of the road could also be the beginning of another.

Yeah let’s end philosophically.

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Tags: blog, Chicago, dream, life, love

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